by Megan Green
Now it’s Amanda’s turn to flip off Emma. She sits back next to Justin, and he grins at her. They may not be the most touchy-feely couple I’ve ever seen, but watching them together, the way they interact and joke, you can tell they love each other. They just have a different way of showing it.
The pizza arrives, and we all move into the kitchen. Emma pulls out some old school board games, and we play as we eat. I’m in the process of kicking everyone’s ass at Chutes and Ladders when the back door opens and six golden retrievers come rushing into the room, followed closely by Joey. Jasper immediately jumps onto my lap, bumping the table and causing the game to scatter across the floor.
“Dude!” I say to him as he settles himself against me and licks my face. “You totally screwed me. I was about to go up the last ladder. Not cool, bro. Not cool.”
Jasper puts a paw on each of my shoulders, raising himself so he’s looking down at me from his new position. His mouth drops open in a grin, and he proceeds to lick my entire face in one long swipe, starting at my chin and not stopping until he’s reached the top of my bald head.
I wipe away the layer of drool he left behind. “Thanks for that, buddy. I love you too.”
Amanda’s voice rings through the ruckus that is six dogs in a tiny kitchen. “Okay. Now I get why Emma likes you. You’re fucking adorable with that dog. If there’s one thing that lights Emma’s fire, it’s a man and a puppy. You pretty much bought yourself a one way ticket to Emma-town the minute you picked up that dog the first time.”
I laugh, picking up Jasper and bouncing him. “That true, Em? Does this do it for ya?”
She blushes, looking at the table. “No comment.”
Holy fuck. I thought Amanda was kidding. Jasper, I silently communicate with the dog in my arms, you just became my new best friend. We’re doing fucking everything together from now on, buddy. Especially if it’s going to put that look on her face.
As if he understands my unspoken words, he gives me another lick before jumping off my lap and making the rounds to see everyone else. Joey pulls up a chair, grabbing a slice of pizza and joining in as we set up a different game. He and Ryan take turns poking fun at each other, both talking shit when the other ends up stuck in Molasses Swamp, and it’s easy to fall into their easy banter.
Several hours later, I’m pulling into my own driveway, reflecting on the night I just had. I spent four hours with four people I didn’t know, playing fucking kids’ games. Eating pizza and drinking nothing stronger than a glass of Pepsi. I should’ve been bored out of my mind. But honestly, I can’t remember having more fun in my whole damn life. By the time I left, my side hurt from laughing so hard. Amanda had finally warmed up to me. And Haylee had pulled me aside at one point and told me how happy I seemed to make Emma. This was quickly followed by a threat to kick my fucking ass if I ever hurt her, which only made me like her even more. Emma’s friends truly love her, and I love that they care about her so much.
Ryan, Justin, and I had all made plans to grab drinks next week while the girls had their monthly “girls’ night.” And surprisingly enough, I was looking forward to it. I seemed to fit in well with Emma’s friends. Which made me happy as hell because I don’t know how this would’ve worked if they’d hated me. They’re too big a part of her life for her to just get over that. So it makes things easier knowing we all seem to get along and like each other.
And to top off an already exceptional night, when I’d left, Emma had insisted I take Jasper with me. She said it was time for him to get used to my house, seeing as how in a few months he would be here full time. I’m pretty sure I didn’t need a service dog anymore. My panic attacks were reduced to almost nothing. It had been weeks since I’d even had one. But I’d be damned if I let this little guy go to someone else. I rationalized it by saying they may return if I didn’t have Jasper to keep me cool. Well, Jasper and Emma, but either way, I wasn’t letting either one of them go.
I help Jasper out of the truck, and we make our way inside. He takes a few minutes familiarizing himself with the place before he follows me into the bedroom. I change quickly, placing Jasper on the bed as I climb underneath the covers.
And for the first time since before my first deployment, I fall asleep before my head even hits the pillow.
I have mixed feelings about how well my friends have taken to Isaiah. I love that they all get along. Haylee and Amanda are like my sisters. Especially since my actual sister is so far away. So it means the world to me that they like him. And I think it’s fan-freaking-tastic their husbands have accepted him as one of the “boys.”
But that’s my problem. Over the past few months, I’ve kind of gotten used to having Isaiah all to myself. Now I have to share him. He’s been meeting up with Ryan and Justin pretty much weekly since they were introduced about a month ago. Which is great. Really great, but the infatuated teenager in me can’t help but be slightly jealous. I had him first guys, I think, mentally stomping my foot.
But it’s been nothing but a positive thing for Isaiah. So why I may miss seeing him each and every single day, I can’t help but be happy for him. Watching him come out of his shell since he first starting coming to Keen Komrades has been amazing. And now watching him grow even more as he allows more people into his life, well he’s almost unrecognizable from that surly soldier who showed up and insulted me last spring.
And now it’s a crisp fall morning and I’m outside training with Joey and the dogs. The puppies are only a few months away from being ready for their new homes. It’s time for us to start bringing in potential owners for them. This is a step we always take, making sure the dogs are placed with the right people. Dogs have as many different personalities as humans do. Not every dog is right for every person. So we take extra measures to ensure the proper homes for our dogs.
I look around at the four remaining puppies. Isaiah is helping Ryan put up a fence at his house this morning, so he’ll be stopping by later with Jasper. Maggie wasn’t too happy with me when I let Isaiah take Jasper those first few days. She never is when her pups first leave her. She wanders around as if lost for days afterward. It breaks my heart, but I know eventually she’ll be back to her old self. And the service we’re providing to people makes all the heartache worth it.
Still, the next few months will be hard on all of us. Joey and I both develop individual relationships with each of our dogs. Saying goodbye is never fun. Tears are always shed. With our past litters, after the last puppy was gone, we’ve made it a tradition to barricade ourselves in the living room with a bottle of wine and all the junk food we can eat, watching shitty old action movies as we reminisce about all the funny things the dogs did. Maggie joins us, eating the pieces of cheese and meat we toss her way in between her moping.
Maybe this time it won’t be so bad though. We’ll have Isaiah here to sulk with us. And Jasper. That’ll make it easier on Maggie for sure, having one of her puppies come by pretty regularly. And the thought of Isaiah being here makes me feel better already. I look over at Joey. I wish he’d find somebody. I can tell he’s lonely. But that bitch of an ex-wife of his tore his heart to pieces, and he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to put it back together and try again.
We go through our daily routines, the morning flying by. And before I know it, Isaiah and Jasper are walking across the lawn toward us. I lift up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. Joey laughs, shaking his head at our “constant PDA,” as he likes to call it. I’ll admit, we are a little sappy, always needing to be touching each other in some way whenever we’re together. But I like sappy. No, I freaking love sappy. I’m pretty sure I rival a Redwood with the amount of sap I produce. And I love every single second of it.
Joey and Isaiah do their little ritual fist bump, chatting for a minute while I greet Jasper. If I’m honest, I was a bit reluctant to share this new development in mine and Isaiah’s relationship with Joey. And Ryan. They’ve both continually told me over the years they wouldn’t begrudge me finding someone else. That it’s wh
at Chris would’ve wanted, but I always worried they’d think I’d slighted their best friend by moving on. Still, neither of them has shown any indication they feel I’ve betrayed Chris. In fact, both seem to be genuinely happy for me and Isaiah. Even Joey, despite his jokes about our perpetual PDA.
Joey had also eased my fears about how this could potentially harm the business. After we’d been dating for a few weeks, I’d gone to Joey, asking him how he thinks we should handle it if the subject arises with future veterans or donors. He’d simply arched an eyebrow at me, looking like the thought had never even crossed his mind.
“What do you mean? Why on Earth would that be a problem?” he asked.
“Because. What if word gets out I’m unprofessional? Going after clients and whatnot.”
Joey laughed, a little too boisterously for my liking.
“What’s so damn funny?” I asked.
He wiped at the corners of his eyes with his fingertips. “You. You’re too much, Em. Don’t worry though. Even if the thought does cross someone’s mind eventually, all they’ll have to do is meet you, and they’ll know how off base they are. You aren’t a man-eater, Em. I can assure you, if the issue ever arises, we’ll be able to squash it easily. Don’t worry. Because I sure as hell ain’t.”
I smile at the memory of our conversation. Because it’s true. I’m the exact opposite of a “man-eater,” as Joey so kindly put it. Chris was my first real relationship, and there hasn’t been anyone since him. Until now. It’s not that I didn’t have interest. There’d been plenty of guys over the years, but I’m not the type of person to jump into a relationship. It needs to mean something. Chris meant something.
Isaiah means something.
I turn and watch Isaiah as he runs Jasper through his drills, which the dog completes swiftly and with ease. I’m a little in awe of them, to be honest. I’ve never had a dog train this quickly. It’s as if he can’t wait to begin his actual job. And considering who his charge will be, I’m sure that’s true. That dog is completely devoted to Isaiah.
He’s not the only one.
An hour later, we call it a day. Joey ushers all the dogs into the house, including Jasper. I look at him, confused. Isaiah explains.
“I asked if he’d be cool with me leaving Jasper here for a couple hours. I wanted to go visit Jim again. I was hoping you’d want to come with.”
I brighten. “Of course. I’d love to see Jim again. How’s he doing?”
Isaiah shakes his head. “Not too good. They thought he’d finally kicked the infection last week. He was back to his old self. But yesterday he spiked another fever. And he’s been getting worse since.”
My face falls. Jim had been battling this infection for several weeks now. Each time they thought they’d finally gotten the best of it, something had happened to set him back. “Oh no. I’m so sorry. Is there anything we can do for him?”
He shakes his head again. “Nope. They’re doing all they can. We’ll just have to hope he can pull through. If you’re into the whole prayer thing, maybe send up a few requests to the big man, okay?”
I nod. I’m not what I would call religious, but I do believe in a higher power. I don’t want anything to happen to Jim, and I don’t want Isaiah to lose anybody else he cares about. So I make a mental note to say a prayer later, figuring it couldn’t hurt.
Hearing about Jim makes me question what I have set up for later. It’s terrible timing, but everything is arranged, so it’s not like we can back out now. I hope Isaiah won’t be too upset. I run back inside, telling Joey we’ll be an extra few hours than Isaiah said. He cocks an eyebrow at me.
“What are you up to, Em?”
“Something I thought was a good idea at the time. Now I’m hoping it doesn’t result in the end of my relationship.”
He laughs. “Well, good luck. You better be prepared to tell me everything when you get back.”
I nod and dash back out the door. Joey has known something was up since I asked him for Beth’s info about a week ago. But I refused to tell him what I needed it for. I couldn’t risk Isaiah finding out beforehand. And I’m sure Joey wouldn’t agree with me blindsiding him like this. But it’s the only way.
I run across the yard to Isaiah’s truck, where he’s waiting by the passenger door to open it for me. I always swoon a little when he does things like this. Opens my doors, pulls out my chairs, puts himself between me and the flow of people in crowds, as if trying to protect me. I’m pretty damn independent and consider myself somewhat of a feminist. But damn if it doesn’t feel good having someone care about me enough to want to do these things. So as long as he’s offering, I’m not complaining.
The drive to the rehab center is quick. Jim’s doctor greets us in the hallway, telling us he’s doing better this afternoon. We walk into the quiet room, the sound of Jim’s heart monitor echoing through the silence.
“Hey,” Jim says weakly as he sees us. “You’re back. You’re either the dumbest girl I’ve ever met, or the smartest.” He chuckles hoarsely.
Isaiah and I had to put on masks and gloves when we entered, for his protection as much as our own. So Jim doesn’t see the smile cross my lips at his remark.
“Well, I’d like to think I’m smart. So let’s go with that one.”
He winks at me. “Yeah, I’m betting on smartest too. You don’t seem like the idiot type who hangs around the damaged asshole, hoping she can fix him. No. You see the good in my boy here. See past his bullshit and mood swings. You can see the type of man he really is and you want to help him find it again.”
I’m a bit taken aback by Jim’s candor. I look at Isaiah, who shrugs and pulls two chairs next to Jim’s bed.
“How ya doin,’ buddy?” Isaiah asks as he sits.
“Been better. Been worse too. All about perspective, you see.”
Isaiah’s brow furrows. “What’s with all the philosophical answers today, Stone?”
Jim grins. “Feeling thoughtful today, Wright. Feeling profound.”
Isaiah looks at me, and this time I shrug. I’ve only met Jim once before. And he certainly struck me as a smartass. But this is a different side to him.
Isaiah leans back in his chair. “I think they’re giving you too many pain meds. It’s making you think you’re fucking Aristotle or some shit. Got news for ya, buddy, you’re still just plain old Jim Stone. Same old bastard I’ve known for years.”
Jim laughs softly. “And you’re still the same ornery asshole who thinks he knows everything. Nice to know some things never change.”
Just then, a nurse bustles in through the doorway. She checks Jim’s vitals, telling us we need to wrap this up so he can rest. Jim waves her off.
“Oh, I’m fine, Janice. Let them stay.”
The nurse, Janice, shakes her head. “Sorry, Jim. Your fever is back up. We need to get you cooled down.”
He grimaces. “Can we have a few more minutes? I’ll make it quick.”
Janice pats him on the shoulder, injecting something into his IV and telling us she’ll be back in five and wants to see Jim fast asleep. He nods.
As she closes the door behind her, Jim’s eyes land firmly on Isaiah.
“You need to stop blaming yourself.”
Isaiah’s head swings around from where he’d been watching Janice, his bewildered expression almost funny, if this weren’t such a serious matter. I stay silent, watching the two of them.
“What do you mean?” Isaiah asks, his voice hoarse. He coughs, clearing his throat.
“You know what I mean. It wasn’t your fault. There’s no way you could’ve known what lay beyond that door. You were our leader. I would have followed you anywhere. Still would, if I were able.”
Isaiah shakes his head. “I should have listened to—”
Jim cuts him off. “No. You made what you thought was the best decision. There’s no telling what would’ve happened if we’d waited. They knew we were there. If we’d waited, they could’ve killed us all. You made a judgment ca
ll. I don’t blame you for what happened. Not for a second.”
“I’m pretty sure Jonah and Rob’s wives and kids would disagree with you there.”
Jim closes his eyes. “No. They don’t. You should talk to them, Isaiah. They’ve both been by here several times since we’ve been back. I think it helps them to talk about the men they loved with someone who knew them. The real them. The soldiers. But they don’t blame you. Not any more than I do. So do me a favor, give them a call.”
Isaiah looks terrified at the prospect of facing the families of his fallen comrades, but he nods.
“Good. So call them. Stop blaming yourself. And take care of this girl. She’s special. I can feel it.”
Isaiah squeezes my hand. “Well, at least we can agree on that. She is pretty amazing,” he says, his eyes on mine as he smiles through the words.
Jim lifts his hand, hanging it over the side of the bed. Isaiah drops mine and reaches for Jim’s.
“I love you, brother. You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”
I see tears glistening in Isaiah’s eyes. “I love you too. Now get some sleep. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Jim’s eyes drift closed again as he gives a slight nod. “Until tomorrow.”
Isaiah stands and pulls me to my feet. As we reach the door, Jim’s voice rings out.
“Emma, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?”
The surprise on Isaiah’s face mirrors the shock I feel inside. I drop Isaiah’s hand and nod for him to wait outside. “I’ll just be a minute.”
He looks uncertain, but turns and leaves, closing the door gently behind him. I walk back over to Jim’s bedside.
“What can I do for you, Jim?”
“Take care of him.”
Four simple words. But the earnestness in his voice lets me know how much he means them.
I nod. “Of course.”
“I mean it,” he continues. “I meant what I said before. You seem like a smart girl, and I see something in the way Isaiah looks at you. He likes to close himself off, but he was never able to with me. I know him. And you mean a lot to him.”
