by V, Krissy
I've never had an interview like that before, but there's a first time for everything I suppose. I take a seat at the table, I can see a man walking towards the door, he stops just outside and then he takes a deep breath and opens the door. My heart is already racing, this man looks familiar, he's the man with the car, he's the man who was staring at me, he's Mr. Handsome. But it's more than that and I can't quite put my finger on it, I’ve seen him somewhere else, I just can’t remember where.
The door opens and Helen stands up and in walks Mr. Handsome, wow he really is gorgeous. "Natasha this is Mr. Hunt" Helen says. I hold out my hand for him to shake it.
He takes my hand and smiles at me. "Pleased to meet you at last Natasha."
Helen walks to the door "Natasha, Mr. Hunt will conduct the interview and I'll be back in a short while" and she walks out the door and closes it behind her.
Mr. Hunt is looking at me like he is trying to figure something out, I don't know whether he is waiting for me to say something or not. So I just sit there looking at him. I smile but I feel awkward, he walks over to the window looking at me but not saying a word. This is the strangest interview I've ever been in. I’m not sure I’m comfortable being scrutinized like this.
Mr. Hunt clears his throat, he's moved to stand behind me so I can't see him. "Tasha how are you today?"
It seems like the world slows down and stops, it feels like I can't breathe. "Caleb is that you?" I can't turn around, I'm rooted to the spot, I hold my breath. No way, this can’t be right! He knew all along that we would meet today, why didn’t he say something so that I could be prepared?
I can feel him coming up behind me, every nerve ending is standing to attention. "Don't turn around, please! I want to explain myself before I see your face. When you bumped into me and then gave me your number I wasn't going to ring you because of the way you left Jesters on that Saturday night. I didn't want to give you any more trouble, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't believe my luck when I saw you on the Monday morning sitting in my reception. I rang you from the car outside and I was watching you the whole time. When I saw you sitting there, time just stood still and I walked back to reception to check that it was you. I wanted to approach you, wanted to see how you were after Saturday night, but behind your beauty I could see your pain." I can feel him stood right behind me and he lifts his hand and slowly puts it on my shoulder. I flinch slightly because he touched me and I didn’t realize he was going to touch me.
"I’m sorry Tasha” he says removing his hand. “I have been so worried about you this week, you haven't answered my calls or replied to my texts. Are you ok? Are you angry with me?"
Am I? I don't know what I am right now apart from being confused.
"Caleb I'm really angry, all this time you knew I was trying to get a job here. You never said once, not once that you knew I was coming to this interview. Am I only here because you want to come clean? How can you do this to me? Have I just been a pawn in a game you are playing to amuse yourself?" I stand up and walk towards the door, I still haven't turned around, I don't know if I want to look at him. I am so angry and confused right now!
Just as I reach the door Caleb reaches for the handle and slowly pries my hand off the handle. I can feel the electricity shooting up my arm "Tasha please don't go. I knew you were going to be angry, I was going to tell you this week but I couldn’t reach you, so I didn't get a chance. I know that's not an excuse. Yes, I knew you were being interviewed for the Administration Manager’s job. Yes. I kept an eye on your progress but I had nothing to do with you getting this far. You did that all by yourself, I will not influence their decision. Please Tasha look at me, I'm sorry that I lied to you"
I gulp my breath and then slowly turn around, he still has hold of my hand. When I turn around I am staring at the most magnificent man in the world, he looks sad and scared and then his eyes land on my cheek. His free hand comes up and caresses it very gently, I flinch but I don't move "What happened Tasha?" He is barely controlling his anger.
"I, I, fell Caleb not that it's any of your business. I think I'm going to go, I can't work here after you pulling business from Felix at the ball the other night. There is no way he will let me work for you. After our friendship it doesn't feel right because I wouldn't know if I achieved the position on my own or not and I can't work like that" I say and I can feel a lone tear starting to roll down my cheek.
"Tasha stop! Firstly our friendship has nothing to do with you being here, yes I admit I wanted to meet you today, but you're here because you deserve to be here. Secondly, what difference does it make if Felix doesn't want you to work here, it's your life. Thirdly, I don't believe you fell. Talk to me Tasha you could do it before this week, what happened to change that?" He's still caressing my cheek and I can feel myself leaning into his hand, I just can't help myself. He makes me feel safe.
"Caleb I told you I fell! I have to get out of here, I'm confused. I really wanted this job and now I know I can’t take it even if I get offered it. This was supposed to be a great day and now it’s turned into the worst day ever. I’m really mad with you, I don’t want to see you or talk to you right now Caleb. I’m leaving, tell Helen I said goodbye!” I can't believe this has happened. I really wanted this job.
Before I can react, Caleb leans down and kisses me and I can feel it is a kiss from his heart, it has so much meaning and I end up kissing him back. I suddenly realise what is happening and I pull back. “Caleb what the hell did you do that for?” I slap him on the face.
“I’m sorry Tasha, I had to kiss you, I know you’re mad with me for many reasons, but I had to taste your lips at least once, I’m sorry” he says as he reaches past me and opens the door. As I walk past him, he whispers in my ear “Just for the record Tasha that was the most amazing two minutes of my life and I’m not giving up on you.” He stands up and says in a loud voice “Thank you Natasha for coming in today, we will let you know in the next few days” and then he closes the door behind me, leaving me standing outside the door.
A few people turned to look at the door closing, so I walk slowly and calmly out of the room and out to reception. I make my way out of the building and walk straight to the nearest coffee shop, I really need a caffeine injection right now. I sit myself down at a table and feel tears running down my face, they just keep coming until I’m sobbing uncontrollably. What has happened to my perfect life? I thought that I would get married and live happily ever after. Felix was my happy ever after, I’m not sure I believe that now. How could I have kissed Caleb, I’m married for gods sake. I bury my head in my hands and sob until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump in my seat and let out a small yelp!
“Tasha, I’m sorry I had to make sure you were ok, please talk to me, I need to know you are ok.”
“Caleb please, I don’t know what is happening to me, when you kissed me I should have pulled away straight away. I’m married; I shouldn’t be kissing other men. What if Felix finds out? What am I going to say? What will he do to me?” I start sobbing really loud now.
“I’m really sorry, I couldn’t help myself, I know I was being selfish, but I really did need to taste you at least once in my lifetime! I can’t explain how I feel about you, you wouldn’t understand. I know I scare you and I don’t mean too, but I need you in my life, please talk to me” I can see he is struggling really hard not to reach out and hug me.
“Ok, sit down, but I need to talk first ok!” I say looking him right in the eyes.
“OK I’ll go and get a coffee first, do you want a top up?” I nod and he walks off to the counter. I shake my head, because I don’t know what I’m doing, but I also know that Caleb means something to me and I don’t want to push him away. I also know that I need to go to work, so I ring in and explain that I was called away to a meeting on my way to work and that I will be there in about an hour. Putting a time limit on this conversation makes me feel better.
Caleb brings my coffee over and sits down “OK I’m all ea
rs” he says, sipping his coffee.
I can’t help but look as his lips touch his cup and how he moves them when he takes a sip of the very hot coffee, I can only imagine what his lips could do to me. Where did that come from? I shake my head to get rid of those thoughts, they won’t do me any good thinking about him like that.
“Ok, I’ve worked really hard to get where I am at work. I wanted to look for another job for a challenge, to make work more enjoyable than it is. I need something to sink my teeth into” I see him start to smile and I just look at him and he stops smiling and drinks his coffee. “When I was asked to go back for a second and then a third interview, I was delighted that I had impressed someone that much that they thought I was worthy of meeting the CEO.
When I knew it was you, all that effort went out of the window, because regardless of what you say, I can only believe that I ended up in that interview room because of you and our “friendship”. That’s why I’m hurt Caleb, I feel like you lied to me and I don’t like liars.” I hold my hand up to him as he’s about to say something. “I haven’t finished yet” I say. “I’ve been to the third round of interviews at another company this week and I think they might offer me the job, but I really wanted a job in your Company. That’s why I’m upset because I really wanted this job and now I won’t get it.” I look down, because I’m really upset and I don’t want to cry again.
Caleb slides his hand across the table and puts it on top of mine, I look up at him and we stare into each others eyes for a moment, then I move my hand from under his. “Tasha, you did get the third stage of the interviews on your own. I had nothing to do with it. I know you won’t believe me but it’s true. They are already considering you for the job, the meeting with me was supposed to seal the deal. Why can’t you take the job? I don’t understand, can we not be friends?”
“I can’t work with you Caleb, I kissed you, how can I work with you knowing that I did that?” I shake my head as if I’m trying to work it all out.
“Tasha, I kissed you. Yes you kissed me back, but I instigated it. If I promise to be good would you consider changing your mind? Please?” He’s trying to give me puppy dog eyes, so I laugh
“Really! You think that’s going to work?” he laughs back at me “no, but it made you smile.”
“I’m going to come clean with you now, I’m going to lay my feelings down on the table and I want you to listen until I’m finished, I did that for you and I want you to do the same for me” I nod because I’m too interested in what he has to say.
“OK, so when you fell into my life I had hit rock bottom where women were concerned, I had a very bad experience with a serious romance. I won’t go into too much detail, but it hit me bad and I have stayed away from women since then. I couldn’t believe my eyes when you were dancing, I was intrigued and fascinated at the same time, then when you fell and threw your drink at me, I knew this was an opportunity sent to me to bring you into my life. I know it all sounds soppy but it’s true, I need you in my life, I need your friendship. It scares me, but I can’t stop thinking about you, when I saw you being literally dragged out of Jesters, I thought that I would kill the guy. How can anyone treat you like that? You are so beautiful and deserve to be treated as if you are a rare gem. I now know you’re married and I understand that we can’t be together in that way, but I still want you to be my friend. I want to help you if you ever need help, I want to be there for you and I want to help you grow. I don’t date married women so you’re safe! But I do need you Tasha, I don’t know why, I just do!” he has moved his hand over the top of mine during his speech and is rubbing it and it feels wonderful, warm, safe and it feels like home and that scares me.
“Wow Caleb, I don’t know what to say. Thank you I suppose, no one has ever said anything like that to me before, it was very moving. I like our chats and want to continue with them, but I also need you to remember that I am married and intend to stay that way” I hear him mutter under his breath “mores the pity” but I ignore him.
“I know you are Tasha, believe me I know you are and I will respect that, but just remember I’m here if you need anything, anything at all ok?”
He has raised his hand to cup my cheek. “Please tell me the truth about what happened Tasha I need to know.” I pull away from his hand, I’m mad with him, but I just can’t help myself, I crave his touch!
I tell him some of what happened, but I can’t tell him everything that happened, I’m just too mad with him. He needs to know what his messages do to me and what a difficult position he puts me in. “The other day you sent me a text and I read it and lied to Felix about who it was, he didn’t find out, but he didn’t like that I told him Kammie, that’s my best friend, wanted me to go over for a girls night” I can feel myself hyperventilating just thinking about what happened. “He dragged me out of the car and into the house and then … then he punched me in the face.” The tears are now rolling down my cheek again and Caleb brushes a tear away. I don’t tell him the rest of what happened, I just can’t verbalise it to anyone yet, I don’t really understand it myself.
“We had words the next morning and then I walked out after that and didn’t go back for hours. I decided after I had spoken to you that I married Felix, for better or for worse and that I needed to try again, I need to do that for myself.” I slowly look up into his eyes.
“Can I talk now?” he asks, I nod. He stands up and walks out of the coffee shop, I cry because I don’t know if he is coming back, maybe he thinks I’m damaged goods and I’m not worthy of having him in my life. After about two minutes he comes back and I can see there is blood on his knuckles, I take his hand and start to clean up the blood with a napkin. “Caleb what did you do?”
“I’m sorry Tasha, the last thing you need to see is another man showing anger, I just had to punch the wall, because I can’t believe you’ve been ignoring me this week when this has happened to you. I would have been there for you, you didn’t need to go through this alone you know.”
“Did you tell anyone?” he asks and I shake my head.
“No Caleb, no one would believe me, they all think Felix is the perfect man”
“Well he’s far from that Tasha, I can’t let you go back to that house, who knows what might happen to you.”
“Caleb you can’t stop me!” I say getting angry again.
“Tasha, I can’t stand seeing you get hurt time and time again, it kills me to see you in pain and seeing you so unhappy” he says.
“Why Tasha?” he says and I can hear his voice shaking with emotion.
“Why did you go back? I don’t understand, why?”
“Because I married him, I love him” I see Caleb flinch “I need to try again, to try and make this marriage work, I can’t run out after the first “blip” in our marriage”
“Tasha this is more than a blip, he has hit you, and I’m sure he pushed you down the stairs. Did he do any of this before you got married? Why has he started now?” Caleb’s eyes are darting all over the place like he has a thousand questions and needs them all answering.
“No he didn’t do any of this before we got married, he was the perfect man, really attentive, bought me gifts and romanced me. I don’t know what went wrong, but every time I leave the house, he thinks I am going to leave him. He even puts my clothes out every day so that I don’t show any of my body off to anyone. I don’t know what to do” I put my head into my hands again, I feel really drained of emotion and I take another sip of my coffee.
“I’m sorry Tasha, I don’t really understand why you haven’t told anyone, why you haven’t got someone to confide in to help you through this, if that’s what you want.”
I look at him and say “I have you now Caleb, I can talk to you, I don’t know why, but I can, you make me feel protected.”
He smiles “Good, I want to protect you, all the time, but I know I can’t and that kills me Tasha” he finishes his coffee.
I stand up because I feel like I need to get out of here,
away from Caleb and his questions.
“Caleb I need to go back to work, I’m still angry with you but not as much as I was before” I say touching his face, I feel like I need to have one last touch to help me get through the rest of the day. I have a lot to be thinking about and I need to do that on my own.”
“OK Tasha, I know why you are mad with me, I still think you should take the job when they offer it to you, I understand why you wouldn’t. Let me know everything is ok later on please Tasha” I nod and we walk out of the coffee shop. He walks me back to my car and then when I’m about to climb into the car he says to me “I’m sorry Tasha, for lying to you and I’m sorry for what you are going through, but I promise I will be here for you and I won’t pressurise you for anything more than friendship ok.” I smile at him and then get into the car and close the door.
I feel a little bit sad that he won’t be pressurising me, I kind of enjoyed it, but I also know that I can’t take this any further. I pull out of my parking space and wave at him and then drive to work.
Chapter 20
THE REST OF THE DAY passes with meeting after meeting and then its time to go home. Kammie had rung me during the day to find out how the interview went, I just told her that it went ok. She asks me if I’m ok as I’m very quiet, but I say I’m tired. When I get home, I change into something more comfortable and then start making dinner. When Felix comes home, dinner is waiting for him on the table, just how he likes it. It’s easier just to give him what he wants to avoid any outbursts.
“Hi babe, how was your interview, I didn’t get time to talk to you today?” I know he is only asking to be polite, he has already made it clear that he wants me to get the other job.
“It was ok, I’m not sure I’ll be offered it though, I think the CEO is Caleb Hunt, isn’t that the customer who withdrew their business when we were at the ball? I think he realised I was your wife, so I probably won’t get it” I smile, but inside I’m sad.
