“You don’t scare me, Egan Byrne,” Toni shoots back.
“I should.”
“Well, you don’t. And when you decide to stop being a jackass, I’m going to be here.”
Toni isn’t fooled. She knows exactly what Egan is trying to do, and I have no doubt that she has enough willpower to outlast him. That he will cave first. I suspect that’s exactly what Egan fears as he spins on his heel and slams his way out the front door.
As Toni watches the boy she loves walk away from her yet again, she makes a sound of frustration. “Idiot.” Then she turns toward me. I have the feeling Toni thinks the same thing about me.
“We did it to protect you,” I say.
Toni sighs. “I know.” Without being prompted, Toni pushes past me into the back room. With a deep sigh, I follow.
Keller stands with his arms crossed on the far side of the room from me. I feel as if he wouldn’t be any farther away if he were back in North Carolina.
“I take it these are the two friends who were missing,” Fiona says.
I nod then introduce Fiona to Keller and Toni.
“Nice to meet you both. I gather from the conversation that you two know about Egan and Jax and what we’re up against.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Toni says.
“You’re a witch, too?” Keller asks, his face still hard. He refuses to meet my eyes.
“Yes and no,” Fiona says.
“It’s a long story,” I add.
Keller looks at me then, expectant but not welcoming. Anger flares up in me, and I wonder if it’s just me or the something else I felt at the crypt yesterday. If Keller doesn’t want to talk to me, why bother coming after me? He strides forward, grabs a dining chair, spins it backward and sits down. As he rests his forearms on the back of the chair, he stares right at me.
“As it happens, I have time,” he says.
I take a deep breath and push the anger away. Then I begin to tell Keller and Toni about everything that has happened since we left Baker Gap, everything we’ve found out, how Fiona and her family are witches but have no powers, and how there were factions within the coven witches from the time they were formed, including a group who wanted to undo the change. When I finally get to the trip to the cemetery the day before and my strange reaction to the crypt, Fiona approaches me.
“Let me see your hands,” she says.
I lift them, allowing Fiona to examine the fading burns on my fingertips.
“So this is why Rule needed the ointment. He said you’d burned yourself on hot coffee.”
I venture a glance at Keller to judge his reaction to my being with another guy. My heart aches to see no reaction whatsoever.
“Well, you’ve got two more researchers now,” Toni says. “We can get through the rest of the material faster.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Egan might be a jerk right now, but he’s right. You two need to go back home, where it’s safe. Plus, your families are probably worried sick.”
“Dad knows we’re fine, and he’s probably told Aunt Carol already,” Keller says.
“They know? Then why are you both listed as missing?” I ask.
“That happened before my mom knew we’d left on our own,” Toni says. “She’s still freaked out about us being taken before, so she jumped to conclusions before Uncle Jacob could tell her that Keller had left a note.”
“And your dad’s okay with you going off on your own like this?” Fiona asks.
“I’m on my own a lot,” Keller says. “I know how to take care of myself. So does Toni.”
I glance at Toni, wondering how much her cousin has been teaching her lately.
Fiona doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer as she looks at me. Unsure what the reaction will be, I wonder if telling her the truth is wise. But I feel I owe her that much for believing in Egan and me, for all the information she’s provided us.
“Keller is a hunter,” I say.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Rule says.
I look toward the doorway and see him standing there, a backpack slung over one shoulder.
“Rule,” I say.
He meets my eyes, and I see deep disbelief there. “The guy you’ve been worried about is a hunter? In what world does that make sense?”
I don’t look at Keller, don’t want to know what he must be thinking right now. I’ll deal with that later.
“He’s a good guy,” I say.
“I’m sure he thinks he is.” Rule closes the space between us. “Hunters have been around even longer than coven witches, so they’ve had a long time to build their holier-than-thou outlook.”
“Keller’s not like that. And somehow they didn’t even know about coven witches until I met Keller and his father.” More evidence that the covens are very good at covering their tracks.
Rule doesn’t look convinced as he shifts his gaze to Keller. “Are you here to hurt Jax?”
Keller looks at Rule just as hard as Rule is staring at him. “No, not that it’s any of your business.”
“I’m not the one she ran away from,” Rule says.
“That’s enough.” Fiona stands and places herself between the two boys. “How about some hot chocolate, everyone? It’s chilly today, so we could use some warming up.”
When no one else speaks up, I nod. “That sounds wonderful.”
When Fiona leaves the room, the tension doesn’t ease any. Feeling responsible for the entire mess, I shift my attention to Keller and Toni. “Rule is Fiona’s grandson. He’s been very important in helping us research.”
“Once upon a time we were the ones helping you research,” Toni says, hurt evident in her voice.
“I know. And I’m sorry we hurt you both. But you have to understand we’ve already put you in mortal danger more than once. We can’t do it again. Luck has to run out at some point, and we aren’t willing for it to run out when you are both in the line of fire.”
Keller gestures toward where Rule stands at the edge of the room. “What about him? You don’t care if he gets hurt?”
“I can take care of myself,” Rule says.
“Yeah?” Keller says, sounding highly skeptical. “How many supernatural beings you fought? Do you even know how?”
That awful something inside me snaps to attention, sensing a fight and wanting to jump into the middle of it. “Stop it! Both of you.” I look from one to the other as my healing fingertips began to sizzle. With all of my willpower, I shove the edginess down.
“I don’t want anyone getting hurt, but Egan and I need answers and fast,” I say. “Our best chance to get those answers is to work with Rule, Fiona and Adele. But I won’t willingly put them in harm’s way any more than I would you two. You all are perfectly capable of taking care of yourselves most of the time, but not facing coven witches. If that hurts your precious egos, I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.” I meet and hold Keller’s gaze. “You know that. You’ve seen it with your own eyes.”
Silence settles for several seconds before Toni slides forward in her seat. “You also know that we’re not going anywhere, so you might as well put us to work,” she says. “The more of us there are going through the material and keeping an eye out for anything wonky, the sooner we can find a solution and have this over with once and for all.”
I want to argue, but I can’t form the words. Toni’s right, and I’m weak enough not to want to have to part from Keller again. He might be supremely angry with me right now, but at least I’m in the same room with him.
When Fiona returns with a tray of hot chocolate, she heads for the cupboard. “Come on, then. We’ve got work to do.”
With some confused glances exchanged around the room, we stand and follow her downstairs.
The next couple of hours are tense and silent, but we manage to get through a lot of material.
“Listen to this,” Toni says as she pulls a loose sheet of paper from a stack she’s been sifting through. “‘It is critical that the earth remain in balance. For
every evil there must be an equal and opposite good. If new evil is born, nature will provide the potential for a counterbalance. But as evil is a choice, so must goodness be.’” She lifts her gaze from the paper. “You think that’s what your being a white witch is, a counterbalance?”
“Maybe. What is that from?” I ask.
Toni closes the binder that holds the loose papers. “Looks like just random thoughts from several people from the year after the witch trials.”
“Does it say who wrote that one?”
Toni searches both sides of the paper. “No. None of them do.”
When we decide to call it a night, Keller is the first one up the steps like he can’t get away from me fast enough. When Toni follows next, Rule grasps my arm. “Stay here,” and I know he’s referring to their family’s home on the floor above the herb shop. “I don’t like the idea of you with a hunter.”
I ease my arm away from Rule. “He won’t harm me. We . . . we care about each other.”
“Yeah, I can tell that,” he says as he stares up the stairs.
“He’s upset, and I understand why. I wouldn’t have done anything differently, but I do understand why what I did hurt him.”
Rule looks away with a sigh. “Consider it a standing invitation.”
I give him a weak smile before following in Keller and Toni’s wake. When I reach the sidewalk outside the herb shop, Toni is the only one there.
“Where’s Keller?” I ask.
Toni nods down the sidewalk. “He went to get the truck.”
“I’m sorry, about everything.”
“I know you are.”
“You’re not angry at me?”
Toni looks me in the eye. “Part of me still is, but not as much as I was at first.”
I look toward the sound of a truck starting down the street. “Keller’s different, cold.”
“You hurt him bad, Jax. He’s never loved anyone before like he loves you.”
“What was I supposed do, stay and risk the two of you being killed? I feel like I used up all my luck that night at Shiprock.”
“But you were more powerful than they were.”
“What if it was just a fluke? You heard what I said earlier about my unstable power. What if I lose my grasp on it and hurt you both?”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
I sigh in frustration. “You can’t know that for sure because I don’t.”
“Maybe I know you better than you know yourself.”
I’m stunned just thinking about the fact that someone could possibly know me better than I know myself, that there is someone who would care that much. In that moment, I think that maybe faith and commitment on our side just might be stronger weapons than all the magic Egan and I have at our beck and call.
Keller pulls up next to us, and I realize that Toni isn’t going to climb into the truck until I do. He lifts the console out of the way. With my heart hammering, I slide across the seat next to Keller. It’s the closest I’ve been to him in so long. I swear I can feel the heat coming off of him, can definitely smell his distinctive guy scent, all earthy and manly. I want nothing more in that moment than to slide closer to him and have him wrap his arm around me, tell me that everything is okay and he forgives me.
But I’m not holding my breath on that one.
I tell him how to reach the cottage, but he doesn’t come inside with Toni and me. I don’t push him, but the silence is beginning to grate on my nerves, to agitate the anger inside me.
“Jax?”
I look up at the concern in Toni’s voice. “What?”
“Are you struggling with it again?”
“Yeah. I know I didn’t have a choice about what I did at Shiprock, but sometimes it feels like a mistake. Like I took in more power than my body can handle, and it’s burning me up from the inside out. Even if it’s ultimately good, it feels wrong more and more of the time.”
Toni takes my hands. “You can beat this thing. I have absolute faith in you.”
I glance toward the still closed front door. “I wish everyone did. I wish I did.”
“Is Egan struggling?”
I shake my head. “No. He didn’t directly take the power into him like I did. I think he gets agitated partly because we’re connected now, and partly because this whole situation has been exhausting and frustrating, like looking for the right puzzle piece in the dark.”
“How connected are you?” Toni asks.
I hesitate before answering, but I’m not willing to lie to Toni. “We can sense each other’s emotions, power fluctuations, things like that.”
“How . . . how does he feel about me?”
“How do you think he feels?”
“I want to believe he cares, but he does a really good job of trying to convince me otherwise. I just need to know that I’m not making a fool of myself, that it makes sense to have hope.”
I squeeze Toni’s hand. “He cares, but I don’t know if he’ll ever admit it again.”
A shaky smile spreads across Toni’s face. “That’s all I needed to know. Thank you.”
After Toni goes to bed in my bedroom, I try to stay awake to talk to Keller. But he still hasn’t come inside when my eyes begin to droop. I scoot down on the couch so I can rest but where I’ll wake up when he decides to come inside.
But when I wake again, it’s the next morning. The first hint of daylight is peeking through the blinds, and someone has placed a blanket over me. I think it was probably Toni until I roll over and see Keller spread out on the loveseat, his long legs hanging over the end. I know in that moment that he was the one to drape the cover over me, and that no matter how angry he is he still cares about me. That knowledge does more to beat back the darkness within me than all the pushing and shoving I’ve done since I left Baker Gap.
I smile. If Keller still loves me, I can do anything.
Chapter Seven
Egan shows back up as Keller, Toni and I are eating breakfast. “They sure don’t grow them very bright in North Carolina, do they?” he says.
“I see you’re still on track for Jerk of the Year,” Keller shoots back without looking up from his bowl of cereal.
“Says the idiot who has a death wish.”
I stand and walk across the room. I don’t say anything to anyone else as I stride out the door and slam it behind me. It’s early enough that when I reach the herb shop, Rule is still there. I don’t go inside despite the cold air. Instead, I sit on a metal bench next to the sidewalk.
“Hey, you’re going to freeze out here,” Rule says as he comes to sit beside me.
I start to speak, but it comes out strangled. Everything I’ve been holding inside demands to be set free. A tear rolls down my cheek.
“Hey, now,” Rule says as he reaches over and wipes away the tear. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.” I tell him about how messed up everything is with Egan and Toni, Keller and me. How I thought leaving Baker Gap was the right thing to do, but that it’s just made a mess of everything.
“You take too much on yourself.” He turns my face toward him, lifts my chin. “Even someone as powerful as you can only take so much.”
His eyes really are pretty, different shades of brown and green dancing together. For a moment I get lost in them, wishing everything in my life could be different, simpler. That moment is all he needs to lower his lips to mine. The contact is warm, soft, and for just a moment I allow myself to kiss him back. But it’s wrong when my heart belongs to someone else, even if that someone will barely speak to me.
I pull away. “No, I can’t.”
“Jax,” he whispers against my wet lips.
“She said no.” Keller jerks Rule away and shoves him against a nearby tree.
I thought I’d seen him angry before, but it was nothing compared to the fire burning in his eyes now. I gasp when the darkness inside me takes notice. “No,” I say.
Rule pushes away from the tree and looks like he might throw a punch at
Keller. Not that Keller seems to mind. He’s poised to throw one right back, and he has a lot more practice at fighting.
“Come on guys, cut it out,” Toni says as she comes running up the sidewalk.
My head begins to pound. “No!” I scream. The hairs stand up on my arms, and the air crackles. “Just stop it.” I’m vaguely aware of my friends saying my name, but it’s as if I’m listening through cotton stuffed in my ears. My ponytail starts to lift away from my neck.
Keller grabs my hand, and everything goes back to normal in an instant. It happens so quickly that I stagger and nearly fall onto the bench.
I feel my eyes widen in surprise as I look at Keller. What just happened? It’s like his touch flipped an off switch in me.
I notice two women across the street staring and wonder just how much I’ve shown of who I really am. “I’ve got to get out of here.”
Keller doesn’t let go of my hand, trying to keep me from leaving. “Jax.”
I nearly start crying at the sound of my name on his lips. Why couldn’t he have said it last night when I didn’t feel like a giant spotlight was burning into the top of my head?
Of course I’m stronger than him and free myself easily. I hurry away from them all, but it’s not until I’m out of sight of the curious women and my friends that I begin to run.
The sun is at its zenith when someone finally shows up at the cemetery where I’ve been sitting all morning after running away from my friends. I haven’t approached the crypt or tried to touch it. Instead, I simply sit on a cracked stone bench at the edge of the cemetery and stare at the crypt, asking myself a stream of questions about it.
When Keller enters through the gate, I take a deep breath not knowing what to expect. I sense he’s much calmer than he was earlier. That’s a start.
“Is it okay if I sit down?” he asks.
I nod without looking up at him. The last thing I need today is to add becoming a blubbering idiot to kissing Rule and nearly showing my power in public. While I’ve thought about all that while sitting here, what has really occupied my mind is how Keller’s touch calmed it all, like it had in my dream.
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