by Alla Kar
Sam took a seat on the couch and I grabbed the cookies. By the time I got back Grandma was already setting out pictures. “Look at her here. She was such a beautiful baby—and fat. She was always fat.”
Sam giggled and grabbed a cookie from the plate. “Oh, these are good.”
I handed them to her. “Here take these. I need to go to the bathroom.” I walked toward the stairs.
“Josie, why don’t you use the bathroom downstairs?” Grandma called over her shoulder.
“Do you have any tampons in there?” I knew she didn’t.
“Sweetie, I haven’t had my period in fifteen years. But I have some in your mom’s bathroom from when she stayed with me a few months back.”
Score. I jogged up the stairs and ran toward my mother’s room at the end of the hallway. The bright yellow walls always hurt my eyes, but this time I couldn’t think about anything other than how she betrayed my dad.
Her four-post bed had been updated with a new comforter, not that Mom had used it often, but that was my grandma for you. All my mom’s corsages from high school were lined on the wall, and I noticed David written on two of them. I turned my head and focused on the room. I couldn’t let my emotions get to me, or I’d rip everything from the walls and burn them.
She betrayed our family.
Tightening my fist, I walked forward and looked over all of my mother’s old things. Old ’80s movies and singers lined the walls, but not too many because I could imagine Grandma didn’t like to put holes in the wall.
Her nightstand drawer stood slightly cracked and I pulled it out slowly. A few Post-It notes, notecards, lotion bottles, and an old book lay there. Grabbing the book, I pulled it out and noticed a lock on the front. And not the little cheap silver locks but the ones that had the lock built in, and what looked like a longer key would open it.
I examined the book, keeping a close eye on the door, and noticed a small folded paper sticking out from the pages. Pinching the tip, I pulled it out and unfolded it.
It wasn’t a paper—it was a picture of Mr. Cross and my mom. Their smiling faces stared up at me. How dare they? Why even marry my dad if you didn’t love him, Mom?
I shoved the book into the back of my jeans and shut the door behind me. The long hallway was eerily silent, but something planted my feet. I wanted to move, but I needed to look at something first. What was it?
The door next to my mother’s was shut, but light filtered the slot beneath the door and cast shadows down the hall. What was that room? I’d always seen it growing up, but never went inside. All the memories I had were of the door always being locked. Quickly, I opened the door and stepped inside.
Chills lined my back, and every hair on my body stood on end. It was a bedroom—a girl’s bedroom. Another girl’s bedroom that was too personalized to be my grandma’s flowery taste for a spare.
This was someone’s bedroom. Maybe the girl in the pictures? My mom’s sister? My aunt? I went to step forward—
“What are you doin’ in there, little girl?” Grandma’s voice rang out from behind me.
I turned around and jumped back. Grandma was very still, her mouth in a thin line and a look on her face that I’d seen her give my mom a few times.
“I was just lookin—”
“Not for the bathroom because you know where that is,” she said. “There isn’t anything in that room for you. Now get back downstairs.”
I passed by her without a word, and the only thing I heard on the way down was her locking the door. The chills on my spine spiked, and I ran faster to Samantha.
***
“So, the damn thing is stuck?” Sam asked.
I pulled on it again but shrugged my shoulders. “It needs a key, and I didn’t have time to try and find it. Maybe the boys can get it open.”
Sam glanced over at me from the driver’s seat. “So, we goin’ home first? Or straight to Boone’s?”
“I guess since my mother knows we’re together, we don’t have to hide our vehicles. It isn’t like Dad is going to see.”
Sam frowned. “I’m really sorry that happened today. It wasn’t your fault. If they would be honest with you, you wouldn’t have to ask so many questions and snoop around.”
Very true. “Did you notice my grandma acting funny after she came and got me?”
Sam thought about it. “No, not that I remember.”
“Well, she found me going into a room I’d never been in before. It was another girl’s room. I think it was the girl in the pictures.”
Sam’s eyes rounded. “She caught you?”
“Yeah, and snuck up on me like the damn stepmother in Cinderella.”
She cringed. “She always freaked me out, and the Snow White one too. She looks like the devil.”
“Well, she has nothing on my grandma,” I said.
“So you think it’s her sister? Your aunt?”
I looked out the window. “I guess so. I’m not really sure what else it could mean. But I don’t know why they would hide her.”
“Well, she obviously died, right?” Sam asked. “Or forsook the Sawyer family name. I know how you Southerners are.”
I snorted. “Yeah, we have such high standards, cheating on our husbands and all.”
Sam shook her head. “Which road is it again?”
I pointed left. “There.”
“Do you guys have like a fair or something? I mean—what do you do here? No wonder there are so many teen pregnancies in the South. There isn’t anything else to freaking do.”
I barked out a laugh. “I’ve never heard anything else that’s made that much sense. And we had a fair last week. You missed it.”
She groaned. “I couldn’t get my boss to let me off work any earlier. Damn bastard.”
“Does Jace know you’re a go-go dancer?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. I think he likes it. If ya know what I’m saying.”
I scrunched my nose. “Unfortunately, I do.”
Sam reached down and fixed her shirt. “Do I look okay? Is Jace going to be there?”
“I don’t know, and you look fine.”
The dirt road ended, and Sam pulled into Boone’s driveway. Jace’s truck was parked there and Sam practically bounced in her seat.
Sam turned off the car and hurried me to the front porch. Boone answered the door without a shirt, and I wasn’t the only one who gasped.
Boone lifted a dark blond brow and slowly bit his lower lip. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were checkin’ me out.”
Heat flushed my skin. “I’d say you’re pretty observant.”
His grin widened and so did the doorway. “Hey girls,” Jace said. “We were just getting ready to go mud riding.”
“What is mud riding?”
Jace laughed. “City, you don’t know what fun is if you’ve never been mud riding.”
Boone’s gaze lowered to my lips. “Josie knows all about mud riding, don’t ya, Raven? All those times I took you out on the gator.”
I smiled, and suddenly I noticed his heavy-lidded gaze. “Have you been drinkin’?”
Boone stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Just a bit. Maybe we could go have some fun?” Boone slid his mouth against the curve of my neck, and pressed me tighter into him.
I thought about the journal in the back of my jeans, the picture in my pocket, and the mind full of shit I needed to tell him, but then all of it drifted away. His heavy-lidded blue eyes were all I needed for a couple of hours.
Or seven.
Chapter Twenty
Boone
Josie’s hair fluttered into my face, and the scent of it made me hard. Her hips were nestled between my thighs; she drove the four-wheeler, trailing behind Jace. We’d spent two full hours mud riding and racing through the trails.
I curled my fingers along the hem of her cutoffs and slipped a finger up higher, ignoring the mud caked against her skin from our ride. “How did your day with your dad go?” I asked into her ear, tr
ying to beat the wind with my voice.
She didn’t turn around, but I could see her frown. “He had a panic attack when he saw the picture.”
Damn. Who in the hell was he to her? “But if she’s your mother’s sister, then why—?”
“I have no idea,” she whispered. “I snuck into my mother’s old room today and found what I think is her diary, but it’s locked. Look in my pocket—I found a picture of our parents.”
Reaching forward, I dug the picture from her pocket and looked down. God, Josie looked like her mom. And as badly as I didn’t want to admit it, I looked like my dad. Maybe that has something to do with why she stared at me the way she did in the grocery store. Maybe I reminded her of my dad?
I slipped the picture into my pocket and nuzzled my mouth into her neck. “I wish I could have been there with you, Raven.”
“Then he would have had the panic attack earlier.”
I snorted and glanced ahead as Jace turned off onto a narrow dirt road behind our house. “Keep goin’. I want to show you something before we head back.”
Josie stayed straight and stopped when I motioned toward the opening of the field. The field was overgrown with weeds that came up to mid-thigh; an abandoned barn was the only thing that sat in the distance.
“What are we doin’ here?’ Josie asked.
I tugged on her ponytail, jumped off, and helped her onto my back before I started walking. “I want to show you something.”
Something had been bugging me since I knew she was coming back. Even before I was certain Josie would give me another chance.
Josie clung to me as I waded through the high field to the abandoned barn. I’d only been out here a few times, but when I saw it, I knew it was the spot for us. The spot to spend the rest of my life with her.
I dropped her at the back of the barn where an old wooden ladder sat. “I’ll go first in case it caves in,” I said, climbing the ladder.
Pine needles and straw were spread out like a blanket on top of the tin landing, but the view was utter amazement. Josie climbed up after me and took my hand. “This way.”
She clutched my hand and tiptoed over the tin roof, but I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I’d been up here before. We walked to the opposite end, and Josie’s breath caught. Magnolia trees lined the outer perimeter of the fence, and it stretched on for miles. All it needed was some TLC, and it would be perfect. “Who owns this land?”
I smiled. “My grandpa left it for me.”
“It’s beautiful.”
It was, and so was she. “I think this is a good place to start over,” I whispered. “I know we’re not sure what we’re doin’ or if you’ll move back, but … ” I scratched the back of my neck. “One day I want to live here. Whether it’s ten years from now when we’ve already started our lives, or tomorrow. I just want this one day, and I want it with you.”
A tear fell down her cheek. “I want that too,” she whispered. “Forever.”
I dipped my head and grasped her jaw. Right in that moment I knew my plan was the same as hers. We had plans, and not like before when we were in high school, but plans as adults. I was going to marry this girl no matter what.
“Then you’ll have it, forever. Whatever you want, Raven.”
Josie’s face softened and she shook her head. “I can’t believe I almost lost this. You’re so perfect, and I’m so in love with you.”
I nodded, wrapped my arms around her, and pulled her closer. Her softness melted into my embrace, and she sniffled into my shirt.
“Boone!”
Goddammit, I told Jace to go straight back to the house. “What is it?” I glanced down and saw Jace and Sam sitting on the four-wheeler by the road.
Jace’s frown told me it was something I didn’t want to hear. “Your brother is at your house waiting on you.”
My brother? “What in the hell is he doin’ here?”
Jace shrugged. “I don’t know, but you better get back. He says he needs to talk to you now.”
Dammit. “We better get back. I have no idea why my brother is here.”
She frowned. “Do you think I should go? I mean, he knows the rules too, right? Do you think he would get mad at you?”
Oh, he would, but I didn’t give a shit. I lifted my chin, and smiled. “No, baby. I’m not hiding you anymore. I don’t care what the hell my brother has to say about it.”
I drove back to the house, and Josie’s hands squeezed my sides. My brother had been taught the same rules, but he was four years older than Josie and wasn’t interested anyway. He thought this gave him the right to lecture me like Dad. Josie had every right to be nervous, but Scott wasn’t going to bully me around.
I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m a grown ass man.
Everyone was standing outside when we pulled up. Scott leaned against the porch with his ankles crossed. The look on his face had me pissed off before I even got Josie off the four-wheeler. Interlacing our fingers, I pulled her forward, determined to show her that I didn’t give a shit about it anymore.
Scott’s jaw tightened and he pushed away from the porch. Josie squeezed my hand and tried to pull me back but I kept moving forward. “Boone, what have you done? Daddy’s going crazy.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
Scott stopped a foot from my face. If he thought this older brother tough-love bullshit was going to work, then he had another thing coming. “What is she doin’ here, Boone? Have you lost your mind? Do you not understand what you’re risking being here?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I do, and I’ve thought about the consequences. I love her, Scott. I’m going to marry her. Do you not understand the risk of me not being with her? She’s everything.”
Scott’s blue eyes turned down to Josie and flickered back up. “She’s not worth your family, Boone. Do you know what will happen to Dad if anyone in this family touches her?”
“Josie’s dad is dying. What is he going to do? Kill Dad from the grave?”
Scott let out a bitter laugh and wiped his palms down his face. Jace took a step toward me, but I shook my head. I didn’t need any help with Scott.
“He’s not the only one that would end Dad, Boone. Or your mother.” He glanced down at Josie but shook his head. “This isn’t my place to tell you. I can’t tell you. But by the way things are going, I don’t suspect things will be kept secret for much longer.”
My body was numb. I wanted to break Scott’s face into pieces. He isn’t going to tell us? What in the fuck do we have to do to get answers? Put a gun to someone’s head? “You must be joking?” I asked as calmly as I could. “You’re going to sit here and preach to me and not tell me why? I’ve lived by the goddamn rules my entire life and I have never heard one reason why. That’s like telling a congregation to believe in Christ but not giving them the story. Telling me things have to be a certain way, but you can’t give me a reason why? Fuck the rules! I quit this family.”
The vein in Scott’s head pulsed, and his hands flinched. “You wanna fight me? Come on,” I said, shoving his chest. “Take up for Dad, as always. Leave me blind through this. We’re going to figure this out and we’re going to get married. And then all of you can shove the rules up your ass!”
I don’t know what happened next—my vision blurred, the sun faded and everything dimmed to black. I’m not sure how long, a minute or ten, but when I opened my eyes Scott wasn’t blinking. His eyes were huge and his mouth parted, a line of blood dripping from the corner. Had I hit him? I jerked backward and glanced at my fist. “Boone,” Josie whispered.
“What happened? Did I hit him?”
Josie nodded. “Just once. I think you blacked out. Are you okay? Do you need to lie down?”
Did I? Shit, what happened? “No, I think that—” I stopped and screwed my eyes shut.
“Are you okay?” Josie whispered to Scott. “You’re bleeding.”
Scott shot Josie a heated glare.
“I just want you to leave, Scott. I’m goi
ng to go inside and spend the night with Josie and not give a damn about this until someone can tell me why I can’t be with her.”
Scott’s gaze flicked from Josie to me and then back to Sam and Jace, who hadn’t said a damn word. “Boone, I wish I could tell you, but I can’t. It’s too much and too personal, and I’m not sure if I even know the entire story. But I pray this all works out for everyone. And I pray Dad doesn’t suffer the consequences.”
Scott turned on his heel and disappeared around the corner of the house. What was happening to me? I hit my brother? I’d never hit my brother.
“Boone,” Josie’s voice broke through. “Listen, we’re going to go get a shower, okay? Come on, you’re pale.”
I let Josie drag me upstairs and help me undress. There was little talking involved, but I could tell there were things she wanted to say. “Talk,” I whispered.
She let out a flustered breath. “I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell us.”
“Raven,” I said, lifting her chin to see the tears running down her face. “Why are you crying?”
“Because you blacked out, Boone. I know that you’ve worked on your anger issues, and it hurts me to see you get that angry again.”
“Raven.”
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m taking care of you tonight.”
The corner of her mouth drew up and she stepped away from me and started to strip. Clenching my fists to keep myself from reaching forward, I watched as she carefully removed every piece of clothing as slow as fucking possible. First my anger and now my patience. She didn’t have very much longer before I just ripped those panties off and took her.
Her green eyes stayed locked on mine, but she dipped low to drag her panties down her thighs. And even though we were both covered in mud, she looked as sexy as if she was clean. Which was precisely what we were going to do. Clean each other from the inside out.
“You’re tempting my patience, Raven.”
She walked over toward the shower and bent over to turn the water on. Goddammit, my dick hurt. “Come on, cowboy,” she said, curling a finger.
