He’d just grabbed a bottle of water when the sweet cinnamon buns on the counter caught his attention. Habit had him glancing around before looking back at the buns. They looked really yummy and he was alone. Besides, they had told him to help himself.
Thaniel bit into the cinnamon bun and had to hold back the moan at how good it tasted. He devoured the rest of the sweet concoction in seconds, then feeling guilty, quickly washed the stickiness off his hands. He’d just turned away from the sink when a loud ringing made him jump. Heart racing, Thaniel stared at the cordless phone near the end of the long counter as if it were going to leap up and bite him. It rang again and he backed away, bumping into the table behind him. Then it stopped and he heard Jax’s voice in the great room as he answered the phone out there.
Letting out the breath that he’d been holding, Thaniel turned and eyed the bowl of fruit on the table. Apples, oranges, bananas, and grapefruit. The apples looked like they’d be juicy. Maybe just one… Gingerly, as if someone might come in and scream at him, he reached in and took a small apple and slid it into the pocket of his sweat pants. He began to make his way to the door when Jax shouting at the person on the other end of the phone made him pause. The anger in Jax’s voice and the crash of a lamp hitting the floor made him tremble in fear. Oh no. No, no, no…
Thaniel clutched the bottle of water. He knew that Jax wasn’t angry with him but rather at the person on the phone, but his anger still terrified Thaniel as he eyed the path to the hallway—to his room and safety. Don’t. You’ll get caught!
His trembling increased at the furious feel of Jax’s deadly power as it hummed through the large room. What is that? How do these people do that? He thought about Soroyan the day before. Though Jax didn’t smell like Soroyan or his brother Kyrian. Then he wondered who was on the other end of the line that had his friend so upset. He was contemplating his escape outside when Jax smashed the phone back into the cradle and rushed up the stairs to where Tierney said their rooms were.
A moment later, Thaniel hurried to his room, once again on edge and expecting the worst to happen.
Chapter Sixteen
Jax Missing
THANIEL ROSE THE NEXT MORNING and learned Jax was missing. Tense and fearful they’d be mad at him for eavesdropping, he told Tierney and Sami about the phone call he’d overheard. Seeing how worried they both were, he couldn’t keep it from them, and if he were punished, then so be it. He needed to do his part to help find Jax.
To his utter shock, they thanked him instead and then discussed their options.
He began to relax somewhat as he watched Tierney reach up and touch the choker around her neck. “I’m going to talk to Kyrian.” Then she looked at him. “Hey, why don’t you come with me?”
Surprised even further and eager to be near her, Thaniel nodded and followed her outside. Tierney was silent as they walked over to the picnic table, and not a minute later Kyrian appeared in front of them, in human form.
“Thanks for coming,” Tierney said and Thaniel realized she must’ve called the Okami wolf telepathically. He listened while she explained what they believed happened to Jax. “Can you help me use these?” she asked Kyrian, fingering her choker.
It turned out that Soroyan, Kyrian’s brother, was the one who could help.
“Thaniel, walk with me?” Kyrian asked while Soroyan sat with Tierney and tried to teach her how to access the magic in the stones of her choker.
Still leery around the lean wolf king, Thaniel glanced at Tierney and when she nodded, he swallowed and followed Kyrian up a well-worn trail.
“How are you doing, Thaniel?” Kyrian asked a few minutes later.
Thaniel shrugged. He was trying not to show how intimidated he was. As if sensing how he felt, Kyrian didn’t press it and kept on walking.
Kyrian’s gaze settled on him. “You may not believe me right now, but you have nothing to fear from any of us here.”
Thaniel bit his lower lip for a moment. “I, ah—” He wanted to say he did believe, but the truth was that though he no longer thought Tierney, Jax, or Sami would intentionally hurt him, it was the unintentional part that still worried him. As for Kyrian himself, he seemed nice. Still, he was a predator, and somehow Thaniel knew he’d be a formidable foe. Besides, look at what happened with the Were-wolves. In a matter of minutes, Justin had been killed and others had taken over.
“But a lifetime of distrust is hard to overcome,” Kyrian added, sighing.
Suddenly feeling bad that Kyrian had guessed his thoughts, Thaniel swallowed deeply.
“It’s all right, Thaniel, I understand. I just hope one day we can all earn your trust,” the wolf king said and Thaniel couldn’t help staring at him in shock. Then, without another word, Kyrian turned and Thaniel saw the blue in his silvery hair shimmer as he continued up the trail.
A few minutes later Kyrian stopped and looked out over the valley. “Tierney mentioned you have a hard time controlling your shift?”
Thaniel nodded, then cleared his throat. “Ah, yeah.”
Kyrian led him over to a very large rock, leaped up and sat down before asking him a few more questions. “I believe it is because you fight the shift.”
Walking over, Thaniel nodded. “I know I do. I don’t want to shift,” he said, not meeting Kyrian’s eyes.
“Are you afraid of what you might do?” Kyrian asked.
“Yes,” he said quietly. The fact was, he was terrified of what he might do. He didn’t want to kill anyone.
Kyrian nodded and gazed out over the valley. “When you accept that part of yourself and embrace it, your shift will become easier, quicker.” Then Kyrian turned his gaze upon Thaniel once more. “And, you will have more control.”
Thaniel held still under Kyrian’s all-too-knowing stare. The last thing he wanted was to embrace his leopard. The blasted thing was dangerous.
“You will eventually get used to this new skin,” Kyrian said softly.
Thaniel eyed the tall, silver-and-blue-haired male. Could Kyrian read minds as well? He resisted the urge to move away.
“If you would like, I can do something that will make things a little easier as far as your shift goes,” Kyrian added.
Thaniel looked up at him skeptically. “Easier how?”
“Less painful and a little quicker,” Kyrian added. “But you will have to let me touch you.”
Thaniel tensed up and moved away.
***
With the sun on the other side of the earth, Thaniel settled on the floor in his room once again. He leaned against the wall and thought about his walk with Kyrian when he caught Tierney’s wildflower scent. It was so fresh and pure, he inhaled and wished he could roll in it. Then, realizing where his thoughts were, he snorted. Get a grip! A second later, Tierney stood in his doorway. There was a desperation in her eyes as she scanned the room before landing on him. “Hey, can’t sleep?” she asked.
Thaniel shook his head. He hadn’t said anything, didn’t want to bother anyone, but he was also deeply worried about Jax. Thaniel had come to really like the guy. Jax had called him Kitty a couple times and while it should have embarrassed him, it didn’t. He had no idea why, but it felt more like an endearment and he found he secretly liked it. The thought of anything bad happening to Jax set his gut roiling with nausea.
Then Tierney surprised him with her next question. “Are you okay down here—alone?”
Thaniel hunched his shoulders and stared through his hair at her. Even worried about Jax, she still wanted to make sure he was okay? It both confused and touched him, but he didn’t want to add to her problems. Besides, he should be used to being alone by now.
So, he lied. “Y-yes,” he said and lowered his head to his knees. He wasn’t about to tell her how lonely he felt, especially since they gave him so much and he really was grateful.
Tierney hesitated. “Ah, look, don’t take this wrong, but … I’m going to get a drink and head back up to my room. If you want, you’re welcome to come up. T
he bed is really big, or there’s the couch.”
Thaniel stared, uncertain, shy and fearful. Was this a trick or did she too feel lonely and really want him to keep her company?
“Okay. So … ” Tierney bit her lower lip and turned away, leaving him alone.
Thaniel debated a while, partly because he knew Tierney and Jax were in love with each other, even if Jax was slow in admitting it, and he didn’t want to make Jax mad at him when he got home, but the other part was fear. All too often when he was little, his mother would ask him to come to her in a nice, sweet voice. Then, as soon as he did, she’d attack. She’d hit and slap him until his ears were ringing, forever screaming that he was useless—bad. That no one would ever want him.
Yet Tierney had been nothing but kind. Finally, he gathered his courage and quietly entered her room. He had never been in her room before and stopped, surprised. It wasn’t just a room, but rather a large suite. A warm fire crackled in a fireplace similar to the one down in the great room, only smaller. Between the fireplace and a cream-colored couch with purple and black pillows, was a black, faux bearskin rug.
Thaniel drew the scents of the room in. It smelled good, like wildflowers, just like Tierney. He cautiously made his way over to her bed, ready to flee if she turned on him.
Then he heard her crying. Oh no, no … I shouldn’t have come. His heart began to race as he remembered all the times his mother had tricked him. Slowly he began to back away but Tierney didn’t yell or look at him like she hated him. In fact, she wiped the wetness from her face and gazed up at him with watery purple eyes.
“I’m sorry, I don’t normally cry like this.”
Thaniel couldn’t believe she was apologizing to him. He didn’t understand. No one ever apologized to him, they only blamed him.
“Of course, I seem to be doing a lot of this lately,” she said, and blew out a breath. Then she smiled at him.
Stunned, Thaniel blinked and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “You … miss Jax,” he whispered.
Tierney nodded, and more tears slid down her face. “Yeah. I do.”
Still uncertain, but not as worried, Thaniel finally lay down on the floor beside the bed. He pulled the blanket he’d brought with him over himself while keeping an eye on Tierney.
Tierney moved close to the edge of the bed, leaned over and gazed down at him. “You know, there’s plenty of room up here.” She waved her hand around behind her. “I won’t touch you,” she added, but he was still too afraid to get too close. Besides, he was used to hard floors.
“I’m okay, thank you.”
Tierney stared at him and more tears trickled down her cheeks. A sudden urge to comfort her filled him and he raised his hand. When he realized what he was doing, he quickly pulled it away. Why had he done that? What was he thinking?
“It’s okay.” Tierney held her hand out to him and waited. Was she serious? Slowly, Thaniel entrusted his hand to hers, trembling as she raised it to her lips. He was stunned and a jolt shot through him when she lightly kissed his knuckles. Then she shocked him even more when she rubbed his hand against her cheek before weaving her fingers in his. “Thank you,” she whispered and he was completely, utterly lost. He’d have done anything she wanted, no questions asked.
It was a long while before Thaniel fell asleep and when he finally drifted off, it was to re-live his worst nightmare.
***
“Get in there.” With a snarl, Mommy shoved him into the pitch-black abyss of their garage.
With a cry, he stumbled, almost falling down the three steps to the cement floor, but managed to catch himself, his little hands clutching the railing as the door slammed shut behind him. His heart was racing as the lock clicked. Utterly terrified, he slowly turned and peered into the dark, seeing nothing but blackness.
“No, Mommy!” With a scream, he turned back and tried the door handle, knowing it was useless. Why? What had he done that was so terrible? “I’m sorry,” he wailed as he slumped down against the cold door. He cried great wracking sobs. Cold. Terrified and alone. He’d left his teddy bear on the bed.
***
“I’m sorry—” he cried again until a voice calling his name tugged at his awareness.
“Thaniel.” Another tug drew him abruptly from the nightmare. His eyes flew open to find a pair of beautiful purple eyes, and a voice that soothed his soul, looking down at him.
“Wha—” He blinked and realized he was still on the floor beside Tierney’s bed and she was sitting next to him. He was clutching her hand, while she gently stroked his hair. He began to panic, thinking she’d see the ugly side of his face, but then relaxed when he realized with the way he lay, she couldn’t and he didn’t need to worry.
“You had a nightmare, sweetie.” Tierney’s voice was like a balm to his soul as she ran her fingers over his hair yet again.
“I’m sorry,” he started to say, but she hushed him.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize,” she whispered. “It sounded like a pretty bad nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?”
Thaniel blinked, horrified at the thought. “N-no—no.”
“All right.” Tierney nodded and he felt like he was drowning in her gaze.
Chapter Seventeen
Caves
THANIEL AND TIERNEY had just finished breakfast when Sami hurried into the kitchen.
“I got it,” he said, explaining the lead he had as to where Jax and Tierney’s dad were being held.
Sudden hope bloomed inside Thaniel’s chest and he looked at Tierney and could see the same hope in her eyes. He wanted to find Jax and a small part of him hoped that maybe, despite everything, Real would still be alive.
Sami was ready to leave right away, but Tierney made him sit down and eat first, and Thaniel marveled at how she wasn’t in the least bit afraid to stand up to someone as big as Sami. But he’d earlier realized neither Sami nor Jax would ever so much as hurt a hair on her head. They completely adored her.
Having been ensnared by her as well, Thaniel fully understood. Oh, he knew she was powerful, but she was also gentle and kind—like no one he’d ever met in his life. Quickly, he got up and cleaned off his dishes and was about to go get ready when Tierney shook her head.
“Thaniel, you’re staying here,” she said abruptly before heading out of the kitchen.
Thaniel stood stock still, feeling like he’d just been slapped and embarrassment filled him. She didn’t think he’d be any help, or just didn’t want him to go with them? He knew his face was likely red, so he kept his face lowered as he closed the dishwasher.
“She didn’t mean to hurt you,” Sami said quietly, making Thaniel’s face burn even more, but he didn’t say a word. “She’s being overprotective, and her worry for Jax isn’t letting her think clearly.”
Thaniel met Sami's gaze and wondered if that was the truth. “I want to help find Jax and—” He lowered his eyes, afraid of being ridiculed for such weakness, like the wolves and everyone in his past would have done.
“And you hope Real might be alive,” Sami said with such understanding it brought a lump to Thaniel’s throat. With a quick nod, he turned away. “I’m sorry, Thaniel. I know Real was your friend. I’ll talk to her,” Sami said, solemnly.
Feeling down and useless, Thaniel nodded and hurried to his room, but it was only a few moments before he felt Tierney’s presence.
He hunched his shoulders when she stepped into view, knowing she was just going to repeat that she didn’t want him coming with them. He kept his face hidden, once again using his hair as a mask. He didn’t want her to see how upset he was.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so bossy.” Tierney walked over to his bed and sat down beside him. It was a moment before she spoke. “Thank you for staying with me last night.”
He hadn’t been expecting any thanks and didn’t know what to say. Besides, she’d pulled him from his nightmare, so as far as he was concerned, they were even. He felt
her eyes on him as he stared down at the book in his hands—a book Sami had loaned him.
“Where we’re going might be dangerous. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Tierney finally said and suddenly Thaniel couldn’t move. Could that really be the reason? Her next words shocked him even more. “I’m afraid I’ve grown attached to you,” she said with a little smile.
Thaniel couldn’t help peering up at her. Was she telling him the truth, or playing with him? Tierney grinned wryly at him, he swallowed deeply. He could feel the truth of her words, and they made his heart soar with such profound happiness that it made his eyes prickle.
“I could wait in the truck,” he suggested.
Tierney thought about his proposal and nodded. “Well, I guess, if you stay in the truck.”
Thaniel agreed.
It ended up being a long day, and they were all becoming disconsolate when they finally stumbled upon the mine where the Ilyium were holding Jax and Zander.
As agreed, Thaniel stayed in the SUV, but it was hard to wait and not worry when his friends were all inside.
He shivered as the sun slowly descended over the horizon, casting shadows that danced and swayed. It was deceiving and felt like there were others out there watching, creeping up on him. Thaniel constantly scanned all around, eyes going to the emergency entrance every few seconds. He hated being alone and even more, detested this overwhelming feeling of fear that he had lived with for so long.
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