‘FUCK ‘EM,’ Tommy yells, on his feet holding court at the back of the fort. Swaying from the booze. A bottle of vodka in his hands. More bottles of spirits taken from his stash of goods being passed around. ‘We can sing too…RUUUUULE BRITANNIA…BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES…COS WE’LL NEVER NEVER NEVER BE SLAVES...’
‘He’s got the words wrong,’ Karl says, frowning drunkenly before shrugging and joining in with the voices singing deep and loud.
At the front they dance and jig. Arm in arm, round and round. So many have died. So many have fallen and they have so much to do, but here, tonight, they can have this time. This is earnt and paid for with sweat and blood and pain.
It’s still hot though. Crushingly hot and it’s mere minutes before the sweat pours down and they gasp for air, flapping hands in front of faces. Clothing once more becoming sodden. Ameer sweats too. Grinning at Eggy. Grinning at Uncle Jack. His violin now a fiddle. His aptitude and skill shining bright.
‘No more,’ Lenski gasps, wafting air over her face as she breaks from dancing with Jaspal, enjoying his muscular arms looping in hers. ‘I hot…I too hot…’
Jaspal grins in the dark at her. White teeth showing through his dark beard. His features handsome and chiselled. She grins back, frowning at the feeling inside. Unsure of what to make of it but thinking it’s nice. Maddox not in her mind at all.
‘You’re sweating,’ Mary says, laughing at Lilly.
‘It’s too hot,’ Lilly says as Billy and Amna dance in circles nearby.
‘Ah you know what we need,’ Mary says. ‘SWIM! WHO’S UP FOR A SWIM?’
‘RUUUULE BRITANNIA…BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES…something something mumble mumble NEVER EVER WILL BE SLAVES…’ they sing at the back of the fort, drunk and loud, sweaty and hot, swaying and bouncing off each other. Men with tops off. Chests puffed up. Arms out wide.
Pamela blows air from her cheeks. So hot she could puke, or that could be the snacks she hasn’t stopped eating or the strong cider she hasn’t stopped drinking, and maybe the vodka, or the brandy. She doesn’t know. She just feels hot and sick. ‘I need to cool down,’ she tells Tommy.
‘Eh?’ he yells at her while everyone sings the same line over and over.
‘I’m hot,’ she shouts.
‘Go for a swim then,’ he shouts, getting the idea at the same second he says it. ‘SWIM! FUCK THIS…’
They pour through the front gate and into the sea. Gasping and crying out at the cooling waters. Lilly goes to the side, to the darker shadows where they can stack their rifles and gun belts and strip down to underwear. The shadows deep enough to not worry about being seen partially naked. In they go, splashing and cooling off. Joan paddling with her trouser legs rolled up, watching the little ones in the shallows and keeping an eye on the weapons. Norman and Kyle staying inside to listen to the music with Simar and others. Jaspal running into the sea with Lenski, then cursing and running back out to remove his turban, showing a top knot of silky black hair and not caring one bit if he’s in public or private because this is the new world and these are new rules. His stomach defined with muscle that makes Lenski pull a face at Mary as he dives past them.
‘I think Lenski’s got the hots going on,’ she says when Lilly surfaces next to her. ‘This heat, it does things to the mind I reckon…’ she smiles at Lilly, winking as she splashes water at her.
Kids in the shallows, splashing about, making noise. None of them caring that only a dozen or so metres away and down on the seabed lie the bodies of the fallen. Their flesh slowly rotting and floating up to be eaten by fish that in turn will be caught and consumed. The virus within the bodies now dead. The flesh cleansed.
At the back they do the same, but because of the alcohol they go mostly naked. Well, the men do, splashing in with big guts and heavy limbs then calling out for the women to strip down.
‘Go on, get ‘em off,’ Tommy yells, eyeing Gwen trying to drunkenly remove her jean shorts.
Pamela wants to go in, but she hates the water, but then she also wants to be naked but then doesn’t want to be naked. But then she wants everyone to look at her boobs but not her fat bits. She belches a bit too forcefully and throws her upper body over to vomit so hard she farts and shits herself.
‘Dirty fucking bitch,’ Tommy sneers, splashing away from her on the shore.
‘I GOT FINGERED,’ Pamela wails with vomit and saliva hanging from her mouth and shit dribbling down her legs.
‘Come on, time to go in,’ Lilly wading from the sea, the water cascading down her body. Mary ahead of her already on the shore trying not to look while Lilly also tries not to look, while Lenski makes no attempt whatsoever to stop looking at Jaspal as he walks out.
‘His stomach,’ she mouths to Mary, pointing at her own belly then at Jaspal in front of her.
Clothes tugged on. Weapons collected, and kids gathered as they head back in to the music ending to a long applause. Ameer grinning widely while stealing glances at Subi, men and women patting his back.
‘We’ll play again lad,’ Eggy says, winking at Ameer. ‘Speed you up a bit, come over one night eh? Ask your ma though…get Mary to bring you. Night all.’
‘Night, Eggy…night, Uncle Jack,’ Mary says, hugging both as the party slowly breaks up.
Giggles at the back of the fort. Mirth and merriment with steam rising from the jets of piss spraying out. ‘Get the sides,’ Tommy urges, leaning back to aim his dick higher. Men on either side in a big circle. Women too, some of them joining in to squat and piddle, chuckling and laughing at each other. Bottles still being passed. Someone pukes, heaving up to spew but that just makes everyone else laugh even more.
They finish up and head off, swaying and singing Rule Britannia still loud and slurred. Into Tommy’s tent. Back to his stash and more booze for the party to keep going.
‘We’ve got to make a stand,’ Tommy tells them, handing another bottle of vodka out. ‘Seriously…no, no…no listen to me…we need ‘em out. We need an election in here with them bitches voted out and us voted in. The common man yeah? We’ll stop them coming in. The muzzies. The darkies. Muzzies out yeah?’ he slurs and nods, urging them on. ‘Muzzies out…muzzies out…muzzies out,’ he chants softly, giggling as though trying to keep them all quiet as his words are taken up. ‘Muzzies out,’ they join in, laughing in delight as people move past their tent heading back from the other side.
‘It was too much,’ Tajj berates as they walk back. ‘Ameer should practise yes, but this culture is not ours. Singing and dancing? Our women showing their faces? What next? Drugs? Alcohol?’
‘Brother, enough,’ Maleek says, groaning into his hand as he rubs his beard. ‘We have to fit in.’
‘We must be accepted, yes,’ Tajj says. ‘But we are not to become them. We are not them.’
Maleek rolls his eyes at his son and daughter, making them smile. Damsa choosing to stay quiet and not aggravate the older Tajj.
‘Still, it was a good night,’ Maleek says brightly, making his wife and a few others chuckle while Tajj starts berating them again.
‘What’s that smell?’ Bashir asks, stopping outside their tent. ‘Has it rained? The tent is wet.’
‘Wet?’ Maleek asks, staring at the stains on the sides and the liquid dripping down. The smell hits him. The stench of piss as he spots the urine marks on all sides and a smear of wet vomit dripping down the main door.
‘This is acceptance?’ Tajj asks.
‘Muzzies out…muzzies out…muzzies out…’ the soft chanting coming from within the big tent across the way. Damsa and Ameer alone understanding the words.
‘What are they singing?’ Maleek asks.
‘A drunken pop song,’ Damsa replies quickly. ‘I’ll get some water to wash the sides…children, go inside, to bed now. Go on. Everyone inside,’ she says firmly as the people in the big tent all spill out, laughing loudly. Lighting cigarettes and moaning it’s too hot to stay inside with fat Pam stinking of shit and puke.
‘Whoa,’ T
ommy calls, spotting Damsa looking over. ‘Everyone hide, the muzzies are back…had a nice night?’ he calls with a big grin, giving a thumbs up. ‘Infected anymore countries for your Jihad have you yeah?’
Sick laughs and cheers and Damsa rushes inside, hearing them chanting and shouting. The pressure suddenly back and bearing down.
‘We needed that,’ John says, heading into the rooms at the far end by the main gates. A low bulb burning softly as the men head to bed rolls. Kyle choosing the one closest to the door. Lowering down while grinning and humming. Norman on the other side. John further down. Alf already asleep and more out the back. ‘I’m beat,’ John says, stripping down to shorts to flop on his bedding. ‘Night lads…’
‘You are such a poser,’ Simar laughs, heading in with Jaspal. ‘I knew you’d do that…hey ladies, look at me, I’m a Sikh with a six-pack…’
‘Idiot,’ Jaspal replies, shaking his head at his brother as they walk down to the end of the room. ‘Night, gents…’ he adds, waving a hand.
‘Night,’ Kyle says.
‘Night,’ Norman says, down to his shorts on his bedding. The air still so hot. ‘We did need that,’ he says quietly.
‘Aye,’ Kyle whispers, gun belt off and to his side, his clothes ready to be pulled on quickly. The end of the twenty third day and he wonders where Henry and the team are. Are they alive? Did they make it through the first few days? If they are alive then they will eventually head here. They’ll hear what’s happening. They’ll find out and come. Then what? Is that good or bad? Kyle doesn’t know. He doesn’t know where Howie is either. He doesn’t really know anything, only that this new found sense of hope is very, very fragile. But still, he grins in the dark, chuckling at the evening they just had. What a night. Lilly should be proud of what she has achieved.
‘Seriously, Blondie. You should be proud,’ Mary whispers as they strip off ready for bed. The kids already fast asleep. Exhausted from the day and night. Sam, Pea and Joan sparked out further down the room. Lilly closest to the door. ‘What a night eh?’ Mary adds.
‘Aye,’ Lilly says, not even realising she’s using that word now.
‘I never see stomach like this,’ Lenski whispers from the other side, making them both smile in the dark. ‘I go sleep now. Is good day. Is good night. We do again tomorrow…is hot. Is too hot. I no sleep is so hot…’ she lies down, huffs at the heat, rolls over and falls asleep within seconds.
‘It is hot,’ Mary says, down to her bra and knickers as she lies back on her bedding.
‘It is,’ Lilly says, dressed the same. Weapons in reach, clothes ready to be pulled on quickly. The door with a string attached to the top so the kids can’t sneak out. The lighting near on pitch dark.
Mary rolls on her side, edging closer to Lilly, ‘can I ask you a question?’ she whispers.
‘Ssshhh,’ Joan whispers from further down the room.
‘Sorry, Joanie,’ Mary whispers, smiling again as she goes closer. Their bodies touching. That energy between them still flowing. She lowers down over Lilly, bringing her mouth close to her ear. ‘Do you think she can hear me now?’ she asks, testing to see if Joan will reply while Lilly feels the rush of warm air blasting over her ear, making her skin prickle with a shiver running down her spine.
‘You’re so hot,’ Lilly says, resting a hand on Mary’s side.
‘Is it too much? Want me to move back?’
Lilly shakes her head.
‘Was that a nod or a shake?’
‘It was a nod,’ she chuckles. ‘It’s fine. What was your question?’
‘Should go to sleep really.’
‘I’m not tired, are you?’
‘Not really. Too much going on. Do you know what I mean?’
‘I do. Was that your question?’
‘No,’ Mary whispers down. ‘Promise you won’t be offended first.’
‘I don’t know what it is yet.’
‘Ach, I’m not asking till you promise.’
‘Fine. I promise to try and not be offended.’
‘That’ll do. Er, so…are you autistic or anything? Not like…like loads, but it’s a spectrum isn’t it and you could have a wee Blondie toe in that world.’
‘A Blondie toe?’
‘Aye, a Blondie toe. I mean, you’re smart and funny and you function brilliantly, but I noticed that sometimes you don’t empathise with others so good. You know what I mean? Do you mind me asking you all this?’
‘It’s fine,’ Lilly says. ‘I like talking to you.’
‘Dunno why. I can’t stand you personally. No, but they said what you did. You know, with the grenades and that.’
‘And?’
‘And it doesn’t seem to bother you. Or like, you don’t show it does…does that make sense? I’m not making sense. Like we had that fight with the infected things at the docks right, and we can all see they’re infected and so we can make it okay in our heads to kill them.’
‘It’s the same,’ Lilly says. ‘In my head I mean.’
Mary pauses, exhaling slowly while feeling Lilly fingertips start to move a little on her side. It’s nice. It feels nice. ‘Were you like this before?’ Mary asks.
‘I hadn’t killed anyone if that’s what you mean. I don’t know,’ she pauses, thinking while running her fingers over Mary’s skin, feeling the softness. ‘I don’t know. I just did what had to be done. It’s like that now. I can see what should be done, and I get frustrated that others don’t do what I want and at the speed I want…so maybe I am. I guess it’s possible. I got angry on the bay earlier and Norman had to tell me to stop otherwise I’d have worked everyone too hard, then tonight, I couldn’t understand why it would take so long to put the sides and roof on the new canteen but I didn’t hear my own voice and how hard it sounds, then you said I was being harsh. Am I too much?’
‘No,’ Mary says quickly, smiling down at her. ‘I was just wondering. You’re lovely, Blondie. Don’t worry…’
Lilly chuckles, digging her fingers into Mary’s side to tickle for a second and making the woman drop to laugh quietly. That energy flowing faster. The spark there. The warmth of them both. Heads closer now. Lilly’s hand moving up and down Mary’s side, stroking further across her back. Mary almost resting her chin on Lilly’s shoulder while remembering what Pea, Sam and Lenski said the first night she stayed in the fort. That it was Nick that found Lilly and eventually saved her brother. ‘Do you think about him much? Nick I mean,’ she asks.
Lilly shrugs, following the same train of thought and in truth she’s hardly thought of Nick. ‘No,’ she says honestly as another door in her mind opens. One she knew was there but had been ignoring until now. She shifts a little, air blasting from her nose as Mary frowns in the darkness.
‘What?’ Mary asks, detecting something in the air.
‘Nothing.’
‘Go on, say it…’
‘They left,’ Lilly says quickly, giving voice to the thing that has been bugging her for days. ‘Howie left. Right when it was at the very worst they packed up and went…they could have left one. Any one of them would have stopped it from happening, but they didn’t, and it went wrong and I had to kill children to do that…and now I don’t know which is worst. That I did that and I’m fine with it, or that they left in the first place…it’s like…I don’t know…’ she trails off, sighing again, shuffling as though to get closer to Mary without realising she is doing it while Mary listens, trying to detect the nuances but finding Lilly near on impossible to read sometimes. Like she is closed down and projects that cold exterior while the turmoil stays hidden deep within.
‘You asked me if I feel bad about killing them? No. And I’d do it again. I would have killed Damsa and her entire family to protect my brother…but not just Billy. Milly too, Raj and Amna, all of them…people who can’t defend themselves. Does that make sense? They can’t do it but I can and so I will. Whatever it takes. Whatever the cost. It’s either right, or it’s wrong…’ that door opens a bit more as Lilly
’s hand tightens on Mary’s side. ‘Nick saved my brother and I will always, always be thankful for that, but he did what I would do now,’ she tenses, blasting air in frustration. ‘I’m not explaining it very well…’
‘It’s okay,’ Mary says softly.
‘I didn’t have ability before. I didn’t know how to fire a gun or…or…fight back. Now I do, so what Nick did was incredible, what they all do is incredible. Nick told me what they face every single day. Thousands of infected coming at them all the time, and they’re off now keeping them away from us, trying to fix it. And that’s important and it’s right people here should respect them. I respect them. But…’ she stops again, holding back.
‘But what?’ Mary asks gently.
‘But they left. They fucking left,’ Lilly says, the words spilling out at the same millisecond she thinks of them. The realisation of her emotional reaction dawning as she speaks. ‘They left. Howie left. My dad was weak and he failed and he died because of it…’
‘Blondie…’
‘No. It’s the truth. I loved him. I do love him, but he was weak, and he didn’t protect us. I took this fort back and I fixed it and I was so worried what Howie and Paula would think when they got back. I was in knots. I could hardly go out and meet them, and Nick was there and I had this rush of emotion for him and you know what happened? Nick fucked me and they went again…’
‘Hey now, I’m sure that he…’
‘Where is he then? Is he here? I opened my legs and he went. He took what he wanted and went but dressed it up in honour and sacrifice and doing the right thing. That’s fine. I get it. We have to do the right thing and what they are doing is vital but that doesn’t mean I’m the little girl waiting for him ready to rush back into his arms and open my legs again. Nick wasn’t there at the docks and he wasn’t there when that van came down the road full of infected and he didn’t have to scream at Damsa and Ameer…’ she stems the flow of words, her hand gripping Mary’s side tight now, the energy spiking harder. That door open and the raw ugliness of true emotion laid bare. She loves them all. She supports what they do and respects what they are, but she hates them for leaving. For abandoning this place. For abandoning her, but it’s made her hard inside, and this world needs that now. This new world. This brave new world where the rules of old no longer hold true and it doesn’t matter what was, only what is and so she frowns, breathing hard. ‘I don’t want to talk about Nick…’
The Undead (Book 23): The Fort Page 25
