He could vividly remember the first time he’d seen Olivia on the third floor of Barrington. She’d been waiting for the elevator. He’d thought she was stunning with her long auburn hair and green eyes. And when she’d given him a friendly welcome-to-Barrington smile, he’d felt a burning in his chest that had quickly caught fire other places and had never diminished. That flame had leapt to heaven in this office during the Christmas party.
Ever since then, the fire had raged out of control. And he’d been guarding himself against what went with it. Not only desire but...
Love.
He’d always guarded himself against it because when it was taken away, the pain was unbearable. He’d never forgotten the years after his mother died, trying to make a place for himself, constantly looking for approval. No one had wanted him. Mim and Wyatt had kept him out of the goodness of their hearts.
Yet, what had Wyatt said? We realize that we should have adopted you. Maybe they’d truly loved him all those years, not just taken responsibility for him.
Why hadn’t he accepted their love?
Maybe because he never thought he’d deserved it.
Just as you think you don’t deserve Olivia’s love?
Olivia. She thought he’d married her for the sake of their child. Isn’t that why she’d married him? Yet Stanley had said she’d meant her vows.
Lucas thought about their honeymoon, the way she said his name when he touched her, the way she cuddled near him at night, the way she smiled at him after they made love. Could she really love him as he loved her?
What if Stanley was merely her mentor? What if he was simply a father figure and a friend?
Lucas stood and paced again. How could she forgive his coldness...his doubts? Could she ever understand?
He’d make her understand.
Blowing her nose again, Olivia took a deep breath and stuffed the tissue into her pocket. She had to stop this. Sobbing wasn’t good for her or her baby. And staying here when Lucas thought...
How could she convince him she loved him?
Well, she wasn’t going to run. She’d plant herself right here and insist he talk to her, insist he listen, insist—
When the door opened, her heart raced. If she could stand, she would. If she could make him love her... Tears came to her eyes again. There was no way to make someone love you.
His gaze locked to hers, and she couldn’t decipher his expression. There was so much turmoil in his eyes. Maybe he’d come back to tell her their marriage was over. She knew she looked a mess in her wrinkled blouse and skirt, her nose probably all red.
Breaking eye contact, she bent to remove the ice bag from her ankle. But Lucas appeared beside her, sat on the edge of the sofa and stilled her hand. “You’d better keep it on.”
Somehow she found her voice. “The ice is almost melted.”
“How does it feel?”
All the bruises that would probably appear by tomorrow didn’t hurt nearly as much as her heart. Tears welled up in her eyes again.
“Olivia, don’t cry,” he said in a brusque tone, letting go of her hand.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I can’t stop—” She ducked her head.
“You can’t stop because you’re pregnant. Because I treated you badly. Because you deserve better than a jealous man who’s put himself first for too long. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I do. Stanley came to see me.”
She looked up at him then, hoping he’d listen to the truth. “There’s nothing between me and Stanley. Not the way you think. I respect him. I admire him.”
Lucas didn’t argue with her as she expected, but held her gaze. “I understand now that you look at him as a father figure. I’m sorry about what I said, about my doubts, about last night and going to bed angry. I know it’s asking a lot for you to forgive me. I’ve been an arrogant ass about so many things. I thought you married me for security for our child—”
“Lucas, no!”
Catching her hands, he held them in his. “Please let me finish or I’ll never get this out. My heart’s pounding so hard I can hardly think. I love you, Olivia. I don’t know how it happened or when or how. But you’ve become the center of my world. And not just because of the baby. All my life I’ve been afraid to love. And I’ve been just as afraid to accept love. I never thought I was afraid of anything, but today I realized I’m most afraid of losing you.”
He loved her. Pulling her hands out of his clasp, she stroked his jaw with an intimate freedom she’d never felt before. “You’re not going to lose me, Lucas. You’re the man who fills my dreams and my life. I love you.”
His gaze raked over her face, searching for the honesty in her words. Finding it, somehow he managed to shift her onto his lap without hurting her. Somehow he wrapped his arms around her and made her feel beautiful despite her disheveled state. And somehow his lips found hers in an excruciatingly sweet kiss that wasn’t nearly enough.
He broke it to kiss her eyelids and the remainder of her tears. “Can you forgive me?” he asked, his voice raspy.
With tender certainty, she laid her hand on his chest. “Of course I can forgive you. If you can forgive me for holding back, for not telling you how much I love you. Maybe if I had...”
When he brushed his fingers over her lips, he shook his head. “Maybes don’t matter.” Then he kissed her again.
She realized now mattered. And their future. Lucas Hunter wasn’t like her father. If he felt that moving to New York would be best for them, she needed to consider it, she needed to show him she believed in his love for her. Leaning back, she said, “Lucas, if you want to move to New York, we can. You’re my home now. Not a place.”
His blue eyes revealed a world of love as he brushed her hair from her brow. “I thought you wanted to stay in Phoenix because of Stanley.”
As she opened her mouth to protest, he kissed the tip of her nose. “I know now that’s not true. And you’re right about putting down roots. Besides, I don’t want to live that far from the ranch. Your mother’s as close to Phoenix as Mim and Wyatt, and we can have a good life here. You have friends you can trust. Maybe if I relax a little and get used to making connections instead of hiding from them, your friends can become mine, too.”
He dug into the pocket of his suit coat and brought out a velvet box. “I have something for you.”
Taking it from him, she looked into his eyes.
“Open it,” he ordered gently.
When she lifted the lid, she gasped. “Oh, Lucas. It’s beautiful!” The princess-cut diamond sparkled and shimmered.
“I want you to have something special, something to remind you we didn’t just marry for practical reasons but for very special reasons. I want you to always remember how much I love you.” He slipped it on her finger above the gold wedding band.
After staring at it for a few moments, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Lucas Hunter, with all my heart and soul.”
“And I love you, Olivia Hunter, with everything I am.”
She raised her lips to his for his kiss, renewing her wedding promise to love, honor and cherish him forever.
Epilogue
The landscape in Flagstaff had changed by the end of April to reflect the birth of spring. Green leaves, the absence of packed snow, the earth waiting for planting, as well as the couple who had loved and embraced Lucas as theirs most of his life, beckoned to him and Olivia many weekends. Lucas had decided to wait until they came to the ranch this weekend to ask his wife a very important question. And whatever her answer, he’d abide by it. Because nothing was more important to him than her happiness...and their child’s.
Sitting in the living room, playing a board game with the three older boys, he watched Olivia as she sat by the fireplace with Russ on her lap, reading him a favorite story. Lucas could imagine their child on her lap, cuddling at her breast. She’d had another ultrasound this week at his urging. There were no repercussions from her fall, but as first-time p
arents, they both worried. This time he’d been present. This time he’d actually seen and heard the beat of their baby’s heart. He’d stared at the miracle on the monitor and been overcome with joy. This woman had brought him so many gifts and added so much richness to his life.
Although they still liked to spend most of their time alone, they’d been invited to a party at Cindy and Kyle’s, and her friends were becoming more comfortable around him at work. Especially since they’d announced her pregnancy a few weeks ago. He’d even gone out with Stanley a couple of evenings to shoot pool! Olivia had been pleased, and Lucas had realized that, secure in her love, he didn’t have to be jealous of any man.
Trevor moved the last piece on the game board and grinned. “I won!”
Lucas clapped him on the shoulder. “You sure did.”
“Can we go riding tomorrow before you leave?” Jerry asked.
“I’ll see what I can arrange,” Lucas answered with a wink.
“I wish Olivia could go with us.” Trevor glanced over at her. “But I guess bein’ pregnant and all, she has to be careful.”
Lucas nodded. “I want to keep her safe.” Yet he knew he also had to let her make her own decisions. After the ultrasound, she’d told him she wanted to take a leave for at least six weeks after the baby was born, then maybe work out of their home if that was possible. He liked the idea and realized there was no reason she couldn’t be a mom and a lawyer.
The kitchen door swung open and Wyatt called, “Snack time. Mim’s taking the cookies out of the oven.”
Kurt and Jerry scrambled to their feet, and Russ slid from Olivia’s lap, following them to the kitchen.
She laughed. “I guess Mim’s cookies are more important than the end of the story.”
When Trevor didn’t run after the others, Lucas knew he had something to say.
Looking down at the game board, the nine-year-old murmured, “I might not be here much longer.”
After Olivia exchanged a look with Lucas, she rose from the chair. “I’ll see if they need help in the kitchen.”
But Trevor stopped her. “Wait. I wanna ask you somethin’.”
She sat beside Lucas on the sofa.
“After you have your baby, are you still gonna come here for visits?” Trevor wanted to know.
“Absolutely,” she answered with a smile.
“Mim said even after I go back with my mom, I can come out here if I want. I want to see you guys, too. And...I ain’t never seen a baby close up.”
Lucas chuckled. “You can see our baby close up. We promise.”
Trevor’s grin split his face. “Cool!” Then he jumped up and ran to the kitchen after the others.
Smiling, Lucas curved his arm around his wife.
Nestling beside him, she teased, “If we don’t join them in the kitchen soon, there won’t be any cookies left.”
“I’ll give you something better than a cookie,” Lucas assured her as he took her lips in a long lingering kiss that lit their passion as easily as it had on Christmas Eve. Only, now there was a deepening of it that could overwhelm them both. After a last clinging touch of lips on lips, he leaned away.
“That was much better than a cookie!” Her sweet smile urged him to kiss her again.
But instead of giving in to temptation, he said, “I need to ask you something.”
Tilting her head, she waited.
“Before Night Song’s filly was born, you heard Wyatt ask me to draw up his will and why.”
She nodded.
“How would you feel about me being trustee of the ranch, maybe living here someday?”
“How do you feel about it?”
As always, he knew she wanted honesty from him. They’d promised each other that along with so much more. “I think it would be a privilege and an honor.”
“So do I,” she agreed with certainty shining in her green eyes. “Why did you tell Wyatt you couldn’t accept when he asked?”
“I didn’t think I deserved it,” he murmured, not backing away from the hard questions any longer.
“But you know better now, don’t you?” she pressed gently.
He hugged her. “I’ve learned love has nothing to do with worthiness. It’s a free gift. You’ve taught me that.” After he kissed her forehead, he wanted to make sure she understood the consequences of becoming Wyatt and Mim’s heir. “If I accept Wyatt and Mim’s generosity, we could end up taking care of children who have nowhere to go. Are you willing to take that on?”
After she clasped his hand, she interlaced her fingers with his. “I’m willing to share love and laughter and my entire life with you. And if we can help Mim and Wyatt and someday take over the work they’ve started, I can’t think of a more fulfilling life. I’m beginning to love this ranch as much as you do.”
Gazing down at the woman he loved, he suggested, “In the meantime, why don’t we find a house that has an office for you to work at home and enough room for a child to grow.”
Her answer sparkled in her eyes. “Maybe even more than one child.”
As Lucas bent to kiss his wife again, he sent up a prayer of thanks for her, knowing he’d married the perfect woman for him. The perfect partner. His soul mate. For now and forever.
Don’t miss Molly’s story,
HUSBAND FROM 9 TO 5
by Susan Meier
next month’s LOVING THE BOSS title,
available only in
Silhouette Romance.
ISBN : 978-1-4592-5929-4
THE NIGHT BEFORE BABY
Copyright © 1999 by Harlequin Books S-A.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review. the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books. 300 East 42nd Street. New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
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