Because of You

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Because of You Page 10

by Maria E. Monteiro


  I nod yes.

  “Alright, we’re out,” he tells his friends which makes them all boo. Now I feel bad for taking him away from them. He takes my hand again and begins to lead me toward the front door.

  “Wait.” I stop him before we reach the door. “I have to go find Logan, Jesse and Farrah and let them know I’m leaving.”

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.” I’m so happy he said that.

  We begin to walk through the party, which seems to have gotten even more crowded. We go outside, but I don’t see Logan or Jesse anywhere. I walk over to Farrah, who no longer looks bored. She’s actually now talking to Josh. She tosses her head back as she giggles. I love the way she flirts.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you guys, but Farrah I’m leaving.”

  “What? No. You can’t leave me alone.”

  “I’m not. Logan is still...”

  “No he’s not. He left with Jesse, Garret, and Cara. He said he told you.”

  “Are you kidding me? When did he leave?”

  “Like a half an hour ago.” I can’t believe him. He acts like he’s so concerned about me yet he bolts without even telling me. Now I can’t leave. There’s no way I can leave Farrah by herself... Like a flash of lightening I realize why he left. He knew I wouldn’t leave her alone. Damn him.

  “Are you still gonna go?” Farrah asks with her puppy eyes looking up at me.

  “No. Of course not.” She wraps her arms around me and gives me a quick squeeze before turning back to Josh.

  I spin around and head back to Austin who is laughing with Derek over something. His brown eyes light up as soon as he sees me. “You ready to go?”

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Logan already left and I can’t leave Farrah here by herself.”

  I wait for him to get mad, but he doesn’t. Instead he pleasantly smiles and says, “Well then I guess we’re staying.”

  I take his hand this time. “Thank you.”

  We hang outside for most of the party. I actually begin to sober up thanks to the water Austin insist I drink.

  There’s a part of me that wishes he would take me back to the wooden stairs so we could talk about what’s happening between us, but he doesn’t. Instead we hang out with his friends the whole night. I can’t believe I’m actually having fun with them. It also helps that Austin holds my hand the whole time.

  I glance at my phone to see the time and realize I only have twenty minutes until I’m supposed to be home. My heart begins to panic. There is only one thing my dad used to be super strict on when he lived at home and that is our curfew.

  For each minute we were late we would get grounded for a week. Carrie once was grounded for ten weeks, it didn’t matter how much she cried and pleaded my father did not budge. I’ve never broken this rule and I don’t want to. I don’t want to spend my weekends with my father grounded. I can’t spend them stuck in his house all weekend long.

  “I have to go,” I whisper into Austin’s ear. “I have to walk into my house in twenty minutes or I’m dead.”

  “Okay, no problem. I’ll go get my car while you go get Farrah. I’ll meet you out front.”

  “Okay.” He lets go of my hand and walks away. I immediately begin to miss him. I really need to snap out of this.

  I find Farrah outside in a corner making out with—Jesse. Wait, what happened to Josh? I thought Jesse left with Logan. I’m confused.

  “Hmm, Farrah.” I hate interrupting people when they are kissing. Farrah and Jesse both stop and look at me with guilty smiles. “I’m sorry to interrupt you guys, but Farrah I have to go. It’s almost one.”

  “What happens at one? Does your car turn back into a pumpkin?” Jesse asks laughing. Great he’s drunk. I can’t believe Logan would leave Jesse alone at this party. I still don’t understand how Farrah and he ended up together.

  “No. My dad goes crazy. Come on we have to go. Austin is waiting for us out front. He’ll drive us to your car.”

  “I don’t wanna go yet,” Farrah says getting closer to Jesse again. Oh great she’s been drinking too. There’s no way she can drive home. I can’t believe she’s doing this to me.

  “Come on you two, we have to go now,” I order. I don’t know what they see in my eyes, but they both get up without saying a word.

  I rush them outside and get them both into Austin’s car. I can see he’s surprised to see Jesse is with us.

  “I’m sorry. Do you mind driving them home too?” I ask.

  “Not at all. So who’s first?”

  “Jesse. He lives down the street.” I look at the clock and begin to think I’m not going to make it.

  I think he can sense my worry, because he says, “How ‘bout I drop you off first? Just tell me where they live so I can drop them off after you.”

  My shoulders slump and lips begin to pout. I really wanted some time alone with him. I look at the clock on his dashboard and realize I have no choice. “Okay. Thank you.”

  Weird noises come from the back seat. I turn my head around and once again find Farah and Jesse making out. Wait until I remind her tomorrow. She’s going to freak.

  Austin starts laughing.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say, feeling embarrassed for my friend’s behavior.

  “It’s cool. So did you have fun tonight?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is the beer still in your system?”

  “Just a little. The water helped out a lot.”

  “I have gum in the glove compartment.” Ohmigod, does my breath smell? “If you’re worried about your dad smelling the beer on you,” he quickly adds.

  “Thanks.”

  “Well, you’ve made it with five minutes to spare,” Austin says, pulling up in front of my dad’s house.

  “Thank you so much.” I stare at him waiting for him to say something but he doesn’t.

  “Where are we?” Farrah asks.

  “My dad’s house.”

  “Cool. Bye Jade. I love youuuu,” she slurs.

  “Bye Jade,” Jesse adds. “I’ll see you in November. “

  I can’t help but laugh. “Bye guys. Jesse, have a good trip back.”

  I go to open my door feeling let down.

  “Wait.” I stop with the door slightly opened. “I’ll walk you to your door.” Austin hops out of the car. Right before he closes his door he ducks his head back in and says, “Now you two behave in here.”

  He reaches my side and begins to walk me down my walkway. I wish he would touch me again. I haven’t held his hand since he left me to get the car. Should I reach out and try to grab his hand? This has officially become difficult.

  I try to come up with something to say but all that comes out is, “Umm...I...”

  “You better get inside. I don’t want you to get grounded,” he says when I reach my door. “I need you to be able to go out.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I wanna spend time with you. If you’re grounded I won’t be able to see you.”

  The corners of my mouth shoot up. This is exactly what I wanted to hear. The warm wind blows a couple of strands of hair unto my face. Austin takes his soft fingertips and brushes them off.

  He stares into my eyes and begins to lean in. I don’t wait for his lips to reach mine. Instead I lean forward to meet his. I’m ready for his kiss to send me into a blissful ride. But right before our lips touch Austin quickly steps back when the front porch light comes on blinding us both. Damn my father.

  “I better go inside before he comes out here.”

  “Okay, I see you later.” He turns around and heads back to his car. I can’t believe this all happening. I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared.

  15

  The Day After

  Neither my dad nor Trisha brings up yesterday’s fiasco at breakfast. I’m glad because I really don’t want to talk about any of it. I’ll just pack it up with every thing else I hate to think about. Besides I’m no longer upset. I actually woke up with a smile this morning. Tonight I
finally get to go back home and maybe get to see Austin.

  I spent almost all night thinking about him. I keep touching my lips every time I think about the kiss we almost shared twice. I wish I could relive it over and over again, but this time actually get to kiss him. Damn Logan and my dad for interrupting.

  Speaking of Logan, I can’t believe he disappeared last night. He can be such a baby sometimes. I texted him this morning, Wat happened 2 u last nite? I’ve been waiting for him to text or call me back but he hasn’t yet. I’m really starting to get pissed at him.

  My phone buzzes but it’s not Logan, instead it’s Farrah. OMG did I make out with Jesse last nite?

  I start laughing out loud remembering how they were all over each other in Austin’s backseat. Yes u did

  Y didn’t u stop me?

  U looked like u were having fun LOL

  I swear I’m never drinking again!!!!!!

  I have to ask, Wat happened 2 Josh last nite???

  I’ll explain later. Parental units r calling. I’ll talk 2 u later

  K, I text her back and continue to think about Austin".

  I wish he would text me. Maybe I should text him first. No! I can’t make the first move. What if he regrets everything we did? I have to try to slow my heart down and not jump into anything with him with blinders on. I have to be smart about this.

  I spend the rest of the day in my room doing my homework, while my dad and Trisha began to paint the nursery. I don’t know why they’re doing it now they have more than six months until that thing is born. They don’t even know if it’s a boy or girl yet.

  I glance at all my books spread on my bed, but I can’t focus on any of them. The only thing I can concentrate on is my phone. I keep checking to see if Austin sent me a message. I wish I had some mind control that could make him text or call me. AGGGGGHHHH!

  That’s it. I open my laptop and use Farrah’s Facebook account to look at his wall. Maybe it will tell me what’s he doing today. Damn, the last thing he wrote on was on Friday right before the game.

  The word “pictures" begin to flash in my head. Should I look at them? I mean it’s not like its private or anything. I mean it is on his Facebook page. That’s it I’m looking.

  I begin to click on different albums. Looking at each picture wondering what he was thinking in them. Most of the pictures are from parties he went to. There seems to be a different girl in each one with him. I wonder which ones were his girlfriends and which ones were just hook ups.

  I never really kept tabs on his love life, but by the look of these pictures he’s been a busy boy. I close my laptop rethinking everything. This is stupid. Why am I thinking about him so much? Last night did not mean anything. I was drunk, okay maybe not drunk, but I was not in the right set of mind.

  I try calling Logan hoping I can get my mind off Austin while I yell at my friend, who also is choosing to ignore me. The phone rings until Logan’s voicemail message comes on. Really? This sucks!

  “I don’t know why you are ignoring me. What you did last night was really shitty. How could you leave without letting me know? We need to talk so you better call me back,” I sharply say to his voicemail. There I feel better.

  By the time I head back to my mom’s I’m frustrated and filled with hate again. Austin is an ass. I’m just going to stay away from again. Logan is also an ass. He’s yet to call me. Wait until I see him at school tomorrow.

  “So did you have a good time?” My dad asks pulling up in front of my house.

  I nod.

  “Maybe on your next visit we can spend more time together.”

  Do I really have to go back? “Yeah, I guess.”

  My dad keeps talking about our next visit, but I don’t listen to one word he says. I’m too busy looking at Austin’s house. I can see his bedroom window glowing with lights. He must be watching TV. I wonder if he’s alone. I hate feeling like this. I hate that I care about what he’s doing. But most of all I hate that I let him back into my life. I’m so stupid.

  “Okay honey?” My father asks interrupting my thoughts.

  “Huh?”

  “You’re going to try harder to be nicer to Trisha?” Of course he was talking about her.

  “Yeah, sure, whatever. I have to go inside now. I’ll see you in two weeks. Bye.” I jump out of his car and shut the door before he can say anything else.

  I don’t care if we connected for a moment this weekend, I still hate him. I don’t care how much time I spend with him, as long as he’s with Trisha. I will never love him the way I used to. I have to find a way to end these stupid visitations.

  It feels so good to be home again. It’s like my life was on hold for the last two days and now it continues.

  “Mom, I’m home,” I announce, but no one answers. I don’t know why I thought the minute I walked in my mother would come running and take me into her arms. She would tell me how much she missed me. But she doesn’t seem to be home.

  I begin to walk up the stairs, when laughter from the kitchen startles me. I guess she is home. “Mom?” I walk into the kitchen and am shocked to see my mother sitting at the island with a man I have never met before. Who is he and why is he here with my mother laughing in our kitchen?

  “Oh Jade, is it six o’clock already? I’m sorry we were so busy talking I didn’t even realize the time.”

  “I can see that,” I say taking deep angry breaths.

  “Jade this is Tony.”

  “Nice to meet you Jade. I’ve heard a lot about you and your sister Carrie.” He flashes his overly whitened teeth. His sweaty hand tightly shakes my hand. “You’re mom is a great wedding planner.”

  “Oh? Is she planning your wedding?” I ask hoping that’s why he’s here on a Sunday evening.

  A strange sound comes out of his throat, which is his way of laughing as he runs his finger through his oily black hair. “No. I met your mother at my sister’s wedding last week. She took my breath away when I saw her.” His blue eyes glisten as he stares at my mom.

  Why is he looking at her like that? This guy is gross. Why would she even talk to him? He’s nothing like my father.

  “Oh stop.” My mother blushes giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. I can’t believe this, first that skank Trisha and now this idiot. This is too much. I need to get out of here.

  “Can I go to Logan’s house?”

  “Did you eat yet?”

  “No. I’ll get something to eat with Logan. So can I go?”

  “I can’t believe your father did not feed you before he dropped you off,” my mother says shaking her head. “I swear he’s the most...”

  “Mom! Can I go or not?” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice. I don’t want to hear her speak badly about my father in front of this man.

  “Yes. But I want you home by nine. You have school tomorrow.”

  “Fine.”

  “Jade!” My mom calls out as I begin to walk out of the kitchen.

  “What?”

  “Say goodbye to Tony.”

  “Bye Tony,” I say, not looking his way.

  “Bye. It was nice meeting you. I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” he says making my skin crawl. I hope I never have to see him again.

  I pull open the front door and step out as my mother’s laughter fills the house again. This weekend officially sucks. I’m not ready for my mom to date.

  “So you’re back,” I hear someone say as I step outside. I look up with my heart racing while my nerves begin to attack my stomach. Austin is standing across the street. His white V-neck t-shirt clings perfectly against his chest. No Jade stay strong. He’s bad news and you don’t need him. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing.” I say starting to walk up the street at a fast pace. I need to get away from him.

  “Where are you going?” He catches up. Damn his long legs.

  “None of your business.”

  He grabs my arm and stops me from walking any further. “Wait, did I do something wrong? I don’t ge
t it.” His eyes look so confused.

  “No. Its just...I can’t be your friend right now.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just can’t.” I try to walk away, but he stops me again.

  “Please let me go.”

  “No. Not until you tell me why we can’t be friends. Is it because of Logan?”

  “Huh?”

  “He really looked mad last night when he almost caught us...you know.” I dart my eyes towards the ground. “I mean I know the guy doesn’t like me. I don’t know why. I never did anything to him.”

  “You never did anything to him?” I spit out building my anger towards him again. “You slept with his girlfriend.”

  He pops open his dark eyes wide. “What?! When?”

  “Last year. Olivia Bush. You hooked up with her at some party.”

  He begins to search his brain to remember who she is. I can’t believe him. “Wait. Is she that short girl, who has really curly brown hair?”

  “Yeah. You slept with her while she was dating Logan. I can’t believe you don’t even remember her.”

  “First of all, I do remember her. And second of all, I didn’t sleep with her. All we did was kiss at a party. It was a big mistake because after that she thought we were in a relationship. I had to tell her to leave me alone.”

  “No it was a mistake because she was Logan’s girlfriend. You’re such a pig.” I walk away. I need to get far away from him.

  He follows behind me. “I didn’t know they were dating. I swear. I would’ve never hooked up with her if I knew.”

  “Everyone knew.”

  He grabs my arm and spins me around. “Well I didn’t, I swear. I thought Logan hated me because he was your friend and he knew what I did to you years ago. That’s why I never confronted him when he would go off on me. I’m really sorry I didn’t know. Do you think I should try to explain it to him?” His shoulders curve over his chest while his eyes look ashamed.

  I don’t know why but I believe him. “No. I’ll talk to him. I have to go.” I begin to walk away again feeling perplexed.

  “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he calls out.

  “What?” I turn back to face him again.

 

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