“Why are you angry with me?”
He drew a deep breath, his shoulders rising. “Sophie, just go back inside.”
She didn’t like being dismissed. And she didn’t like being blamed for something she wasn’t even sure she’d done. With a muttered curse, she hurried down the porch steps and crossed the short distance to Trey, then grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her.
“You can’t just ignore me,” she said. “We’re stuck on this island together.”
“I’m not trying to ignore you. I-I just need some space right now.”
“If you didn’t want to have sex, you could have just said so.”
His sharp laugh split the damp night air. “That’s not the problem. All I want to do is make love to you. It’s all I think about. I can’t get enough of you. The moment I touch you, I lose all capacity to resist.” He stopped himself, drawing a deep breath. “I don’t like that feeling. It scares me.”
“It’s just sex,” Sophie said.
“No, it isn’t. And I’m not sure it ever was.”
She took a step back. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Trey shrugged. “It means I’m not sure we can just walk away from this when it comes time to leave this island. I’m not sure I want to. And I don’t think you do, either.”
Sophie shook her head. “I’m not going to talk about this,” she muttered. “We were just having some fun. There’s no need to make a big deal out of it.”
“Come on,” Trey countered. “It’s more than fun. I feel it. You feel it. I know you do.”
Sophie avoided his gaze, as if one look would reveal the truth. Of course she felt it. But that didn’t mean it was anything more than just infatuation.
He grabbed her chin and turned her face up to his. “Go ahead. Admit it.”
“What? You want me to say I love you? No, I’m not in love with you, Trey. We’ve spent a day together. No one falls in love in a day.”
“I didn’t say love.” He paused. “You did.”
Thunder rumbled in the sky and she felt her temper rise. Was this all a game to him? “What were you going to say?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again as he measured his words. “I’ve never felt this way about any woman,” he replied. “There’s something there. It’s…different.”
“Right. Different. Oh, that tells me a lot.” She spun on her heel and stalked back to the porch, cursing to herself in French. “That something is lust, pure and simple,” she said, shouting through the rain.
She stepped through the door and slammed it behind her, but the moisture had made the wood swell and it refused to close. With a frustrated growl, Sophie shut it, then leaned back against it, her breath coming in tiny gasps, her heart slamming in her chest.
She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. All along, from the moment they’d first kissed, Sophie had warned herself against just this moment. She’d been a fool to believe either one of them could keep emotion from creeping into their relationship. And now that it had, everything was ruined.
She wanted to run away, to hide until all these feelings evaporated. But she was trapped here with him, at least until morning…and maybe even longer.
A knock sounded on the door. “Sophie?” He tried the doorknob, then gave the door a push, but she braced her shoulder against it.
“Go away,” she called.
“Let me in.”
“I just want to be alone for a while.” She closed her eyes, trying to stem a flood of tears. Great. Now she was crying over him. What was wrong with her? “I need some space.”
“All right,” he finally said. “But we are going to talk about this again.”
Sophie slid down along the rough wood door until she was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked under her chin. It had been so simple to avoid attachments. Trey had been right, she could have left her father and found a place for herself in the world. But instead, she’d hidden from her future, from love, in one of the remotest places she could find. Was it any wonder she had no one to love?
In her mind, she rewound the memories of her previous relationships and Sophie recognized a disturbing pattern. Whenever her feelings became too intense, she’d walk away. Her motives weren’t difficult to interpret. Her father had been a notorious philanderer and though she loved him, she’d never really trusted him. But all men weren’t like her father, were they?
There were people in the world who had wonderful marriages, people who loved the same person for their whole life without infidelity ever entering the picture. Had she already found a love like that and carelessly tossed it aside because of her fears? Or was that man here, on this island, with her?
Sophie covered her face with her hands, trying to restore a sense of order to her crazy thoughts. Someday, she’d have to face all her doubts and insecurities about love. But now wasn’t that time. How could she afford to risk her heart with a man she didn’t even know? Though they’d shared the most incredible intimacy, Trey was a complete stranger. She knew nothing of him beyond what she’d learned on this island.
Sophie silently cataloged the things that she did know. He cared about her and in more than just a sexual way. He wanted to protect her. He found her interesting and amusing and attractive. And when he touched her, he made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world he could ever want.
Inside the cottage, it was now dark and she could barely see any light coming through the windows. It would be a long, lonely night with Trey outside and her alone inside. But right now, facing Trey meant facing her feelings. And she just wasn’t ready to deal with that. Not yet.
T REY HEARD THE HINGES SQUEAK and the soft footsteps on the porch floor. He lay in the hammock, his arm thrown over his eyes, blocking his view. He slowed his breathing, wondering if she intended to speak first or reach out and touch him.
He felt her fingertips brush his shoulder and he pulled his arm back. He could just barely see her as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Trey held out his hand and she wove her fingers through his, repairing the break between them in that single instant.
He gently pulled her to the hammock and she crawled in beside him, stretching her body along his. They lay together silently, the hammock swinging back and forth, the warmth of her body seeping into his skin. Sophie nestled beneath his arm, then threw her leg across his, wriggling until she was comfortable.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his lips brushing her forehead as he stroked her hair. “I didn’t mean to snap.”
Sophie nodded. “And I’m sorry for getting angry.”
“I shouldn’t have walked out.”
“It wasn’t you,” she continued, a trace of hesitation in her voice.
“What was it?”
“Past mistakes,” she said. “What do you call it? Luggage?”
“Baggage,” Trey corrected.
“Yes. Baggage. I have a lot of baggage.”
“You and me both.” He kissed her again, but this time it wasn’t out of desire, but pure affection. She hadn’t really opened up to him, keeping details of her personal life to herself. But now, he felt desperate to know what had formed this extraordinarily fascinating female. “Sometimes, it’s better to just open it up and examine it.”
A long silence grew between them and Trey wasn’t sure she was willing to enlighten him. But then, she drew a ragged breath and began to speak.
“When I was young, we lived in Pape‘ete, in a little house near the water. My mother worked as a pastry chef in one of the big hotels and my father ran the air-charter business. I was pretty much in charge of myself and I’d come and go as I wanted. We had a wonderful life and I was happy. And my parents were like this…golden couple. Everyone loved them. My father was handsome and dashing and my mother was sophisticated and beautiful. They were proof that opposites could attract.”
She paused and for a moment, Trey wondered if she intended to stop there. But then, the next words came out in a rush. “After school, I’d usually g
o to the airport and work at the hangar with my father, helping to keep the books or clean the planes.” Her fingers traced lines over his bare chest, as if the distraction helped her to explain. “I’m not sure when it first happened. But one day, I walked into his office and there was a woman there, sitting on his lap, kissing him. I didn’t know what they were doing at the time, but when I got older, I understood.”
Trey could hear the pain in her voice and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“My father told me I couldn’t say anything to my mother or she would be so upset she might leave us both and never come back.”
“He made you keep his secret?”
Sophie nodded. “I was so confused. I mean, I assumed he was telling the truth-that if my mother walked out on their marriage, she’d leave me behind. So I didn’t say anything. But it kept happening, with that woman, and with others. Sometimes he’d use me to make excuses to my mother. And I kept my mouth shut. Even after my mother suspected, when I could see it in her eyes, I still didn’t say anything. Then one day, she was gone.”
“That’s it? She just walked out?”
“She went back to Paris, to her family. It was a separation at first. And I thought, it’s right she leaves me, because it was my fault, too. The funny thing was, from the moment she left, my father just fell apart. He didn’t know what to do without her. And when she finally sent for me, he begged me to stay with him and I did. I thought my mother would never be able to forgive me and I just couldn’t face her.”
“Why?” Trey asked. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.”
“It was me who’d done it, too,” Sophie said. “I could have asked him to stop. I could have made him stop. I could have told her when it first happened. But I didn’t.”
Trey reached down and cupped her cheek in his palm, feeling the tears that dampened her cheeks. “Oh, sweetheart, you can’t blame yourself for any of that. You were just a kid. Your father was wrong to make you keep that secret. And your mother was wrong to leave you behind.”
She drew a ragged breath and then let it out. After another, he did the same along with her, until her breathing had slowed and the tears had stopped. “Better?” he asked.
Sophie nodded. “You’re right. Now that I’ve said it out loud, it feels like I can leave it behind.” She placed her palm on his cheek and kissed him. “Is that how you deal with your luggage?”
“Baggage,” he said. “I’ve got a lot of it. Steamer trunks full. But I usually pack it all up and leave it behind. I’ve got trunks all over the world-Paris, Tokyo, London, New York. I usually just abandon my baggage.”
“Is that a good idea?”
“It’s worked for me in the past,” Trey admitted. But now that he thought about it, walking away from his problems had never really solved them. He’d never taken responsibility for his life, for the mess he’d made of it. Maybe it was time for him to open some of those trunks, too, and look at what was inside.
“I didn’t have the most perfect parents in the world,” he said, deciding to open up, too. “My mother and father are still married, after thirty-five years. But they barely speak to each other. Most times, they’re living in separate houses. My mother lives for her charity work and my father concentrates on business. They go out in public all dressed up and looking happy for the cameras, but they don’t have a marriage, either.”
“Do you know anyone who is married and happy?” Sophie asked.
“My grandparents. My grandfather was the one who bought the first hotel, and he and my grandmother built the business together. They were always so content, so solid. They never spent a night apart throughout their whole marriage. When he was sick at the end, she slept at the hospital with him. They were devoted to each other.” Trey smiled. “That’s what I’d like. But maybe that’s just asking for too much.”
“So, I guess we’re both pretty screwed up,” Sophie finally said with a soft laugh.
“Maybe. Or maybe we know just enough not to make the same mistakes our parents did.”
Sophie pushed up, bracing her hand on his chest, and looked into his eyes. “Do you really think so?”
“Yes, I do,” he said. Trey smoothed her hair out of her eyes, trying to read her expression through the darkness. “Whatever happens with us begins here, Sophie. It doesn’t start back when we were kids. It begins now.”
She snuggled against him again and sighed. “Merry Christmas,” she murmured.
“Merry Christmas,” Trey said. He chuckled softly. “Speaking of Christmas, I have presents for you.”
This brought her upright again and Trey could detect a smile on her face. “You do?”
“Of course I do. Since it’s Christmas, I thought we ought to have gifts.”
“But I didn’t get you-”
Trey reached out and touched his finger to her lips. “No need. You kind of saved my life this morning, so I’ll count that as a very big gift.”
“I saved my life, too,” she said. “You just happened to be along for the ride.”
Trey chuckled. “You also gave me a story I can tell for years to come. About how I was marooned on a deserted tropical island with a beautiful woman.”
“Can we open them now?” she asked.
“Oh, you’re one of those.” Trey shook his head. “Nope. Can’t do it. Presents are for Christmas morning. This whole idea of opening them on Christmas Eve is just wrong.”
Sophie curled up beside him again. “You’re probably right,” she said. “Besides, I wouldn’t be able to see anything, anyway. It’s very dark.”
“Oh, well. I can take care of that.”
“Now you command the sun and the moon?”
Trey rolled out of the hammock, then walked across the porch. He’d found a lantern earlier that day, hung above the porch rail, but hidden by the twisted vines. It was full of kerosene, probably replenished by a passing boater. He retrieved the matches from his pocket and lit one, touching it to the wick.
Holding it aloft, Trey turned to see Sophie standing beside the hammock, a surprised expression on her face. “Just what I wanted for Christmas,” she teased. “Light.”
“This isn’t one of my presents. Although, it is nice to see you again, Miss Madigan.”
“Where did you find it?”
“Hanging from that hook behind you. I figure it will last us a good part of the night.”
“So, we can have a celebration,” she said.
Trey nodded. “Why not? We don’t have any other pressing engagements, do we? No parties, no caroling. Church is pretty much out of the question. A celebration would be nice.”
“Then, I need some time,” Sophie said. She hurried up to him and took the lantern from his fingers, then walked back to the door of the cottage. “You wait out here and I’ll get things ready.”
“What am I supposed to do in the dark?”
“You could work on your fire,” Sophie suggested.
“I think that fire is a lost cause,” he said. Trey smiled as he watched her slip inside the cottage. How quickly the mood had changed. Hell, he’d been with plenty of women who could hold a grudge for weeks. But all he’d had to do was find out what was on Sophie’s mind and allow her to talk. Once she’d unloaded her worries, things went right back to the way they’d once been with them-easy.
Was it really that simple? He’d been prepared to play the typical games, the abject apologies followed by the standard groveling. But this time, he listened and things were set right.
Trey walked down the steps to the fire. He grabbed a stick and stirred the embers, surprised to see an orange glow beneath the ashes. Like the fire between him and Sophie, this one refused to die, even in the pouring rain. He tossed a few more branches into the center of the flames and watched as sparks rose into the air and were quickly snuffed out.
Trey turned his face up to the sky and let the soft drizzle fall on his sunburned face. Raking his hand
s through his hair, he drew a deep breath. What happened between them tonight would probably set the course for the rest of their relationship, he mused. Either he’d be able to convince Sophie what they had was real, or he’d fail to prove his case and they’d go their separate ways in the morning.
Trey wasn’t even sure how this would all work out, even if they decided they wanted it to. He lived in Los Angeles now and she lived in the South Pacific. And then there was her father, although perhaps he could be convinced to move back to the States given proper incentive.
Still, there was always the resort. If he could find a way to build it, then he’d be here with Sophie for at least a year or two. Living on an island in the middle of the South Pacific certainly wouldn’t seem so bad if Sophie was with him. Maybe they could build something together, like his grandparents had.
But he was getting ahead of himself. Trey wasn’t about to put all his hopes out there and risk Sophie rejecting him out of hand. No, he had to at least be certain she’d consider the possibility of a future together, permanent or otherwise, before he made any plans.
He’d come to this island unsure of his future. Now, if things went well, he’d be leaving with a purpose. That was a lot more than he’d been able to achieve in the first twenty-nine years of his life.
Sure, the thought of allowing himself to fall in love was a little scary. And he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t want to take off after just a few months. But the possibility of finding a woman to spend his life with was intriguing, especially if that woman was Sophie.
S OPHIE SMOOTHED HER HANDS through her damp hair and tugged on her T-shirt. It was Christmas and she and Trey were going to have a date-of sorts. It was only proper that she dressed for the occasion. And though she might have preferred a sparkling party dress with a low-cut back and a high-cut hem, this outfit was what she had available.
She glanced at the preparations she’d made for a light meal, laid out on the cabinets at the back of the cottage. They had wine, the rest of the crackers, another tin of oysters and a can of what seemed to be ham salad. Though they weren’t the most sophisticated hors d’oeuvres, they’d do in a pinch.
Who Needs Mistletoe? Page 11
