by Sable Hunter
Big reveal. Rising from the couch, he put distance between them. “I know this is going to sound craziest of all, but you have been my most frequent visitor.”
This did shock her. “I wonder why?”
“Probably because I needed you the most.”
He stood across the room, as solid and stalwart as one of those oaks who gifted him with song. To Pepper, he was all in the world that she wanted to cling to. With a cry of total surrender and yearning, she ran to him, throwing herself in his arms.
Amazed, Judah caught her to him as she wrapped herself around him, burrowing her face into his chest. “I’m so glad I could bring you comfort.” She gazed up at him and he was enchanted when her eyes caught the moonlight from the night sky as the full golden orb hung heavy in the heavens. “Just don’t let the memory of me become dearer to you than…” She took her hand and placed it over her heart. “…than this me, the real me.”
“Pepper, I’m telling you that I see hallucinations. I get visited by doppelgangers of people I know, images of folks I’ve never met before. I’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia.”
“I understand what you’re telling me. I don’t know very much about schizophrenia.” But, she could learn. Her mother’s words came back to her. Some will see the world differently than you do. That doesn’t make either one of you wrong. Until we’ve walked in someone else’s shoes, or seen the world through their eyes, we can’t judge how they divine it. The good Lord didn’t make us all the same, thank goodness. The world would be a boring place if He did. If you push everyone away who might be a little different than you, there’s no telling what blessings you might miss. “Does what they tell you help you?”
Judah thought about his answer. “Sometimes. Sometimes their words are harsh, but it’s something I need to hear. Sometimes, they tell me things I know, but haven’t considered in a while. And sometimes, they bring me new information that proves to be right and useful.” He frowned. “And sometimes, they’re just mean.”
Pepper melded herself to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, as if she had no intention of being apart from him again. “Please don’t push me away again and don’t be afraid to tell me anything. I want to know it all.”
A warm happiness flowed through him at her admission. He’d be a fool to push her away. Pepper trusted him. Even in his broken condition, she trusted him. “I want you to read my journal, I want you to know everything.”
“I will.” She intended to find out all she could, do research. “If you don’t want to answer questions I ask, don’t.”
“Ask me anything.” Judah had never felt freer.
“When the doctor diagnosed you, did he prescribe anything for you to take?”
“Yes, I have gone through several medications, trying to find the best combination. As there are downsides to the illness, there are downsides to the cure.” He cleared his throat. “Well, not a cure. There is no cure. This is something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.” Something anyone who cares about him would have to live with for the rest of his life.
She understood. “Chemo and radiation are almost as bad as the cancer…but, sometimes they allow you to live.”
Judah tugged her to him, holding her as tight as he could without hurting her. “You’ll never know what a relief it is to tell you this. I wanted to, but I dreaded it. I imagined all sorts of ways that you might react.” He kissed her on her cheek. “This is not what I expected.”
“You should have. There are millions of people out there who think they know you. You don’t know them, but they follow every scrap of news about you there is available. They have an opinion about your personality and your character. They like you. If they were to hear that you had a…condition, I don’t think their opinion of you would be changed, I think their opinion of the condition would be altered.”
Judah chuckled. “Who are you, Pepper McCoy? To have so much insight. So much compassion.” For the first time, he found himself considering going public with his diagnosis. He knew everyone wouldn’t react the way Pepper had, she was amazing, but more people might be sympathetic or empathetic than he’d ever dreamed. Yes, some would be judgmental assholes. His thought made him smile. But…Pepper gave him hope.
“I’ll tell you who I am.” She placed a small, soft hand on his face. “I’m the woman who thinks you’re the grandest thing in the world.”
Judah couldn’t ignore the heat he saw in her eyes, not without reaching for her. He couldn’t witness those beautiful lips championing his case without wanting to kiss them. “Come here, angel. Will you let me make love to you?”
“Yes, please. Let’s put all our misunderstandings behind us and start the new year right. My mother used to say that whatever you do on the first day of the year, you’ll do all year.”
“I love that idea.” Catching her up in his arms, Judah marched through the loft and down the hall to his bedroom. When he went to place Pepper on his bed, she clung to him so fiercely that he had no option but to sink down with her. It pleased him no end that she refused to turn him loose.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” she told him. “I’ve ached for you.” Thrusting her fingers into his hair, Pepper lifted her face to layer her mouth to his. Her kiss was urgent, urging him closer, tearing at his clothes in a desperate bid to touch him all over.
Judah helped her, removing his clothes and helping her strip off her own. “We don’t want to tear this pretty dress.”
“Don’t care,” she muttered, rolling to one side so he could undo her bra. “Help me.”
Her frustrated little cry made him smile, Judah couldn’t have resisted her for the world. “Hold still.” He skimmed off her panties as she lifted her hips. Once they were unclothed, he took a moment to reacquaint himself with her beautiful body. Without a doubt, Penelope McCoy had the most magnificent body he had ever seen. “I want to look at you forever.” Long, perfectly sculpted, golden legs curved up to a sweetly rounded bottom that angled perfectly to a waist he could span with his hands. Her back was smooth, the ridge of her spine clearly defined. Her breasts were full, high, and firm, tipped with succulent cherry nipples. “God Almighty, you are fine.” Gently he traced the curve of her hip to her waist, then to her shoulder, his fingertips dancing delicately on her skin. Folding her close, he covered her face, eyelids, and temples with kisses.
Pepper felt the heat rise inside her, her pulse beating so hard, it echoed in her ears. “Kiss me, Judah, I’ve missed you so.”
“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” he whispered as he stroked her trembling body, his lips joining hers in a searing kiss. His tongue laved her, exploring her mouth, while his hands moved over her back, soothing her, warming her, kneading her muscles and caressing her skin. His erection throbbed between them, thick and hot against her hip.
Their kisses grew wild and passionate, Judah’s blood ran hot, his head dizzy, his pulse off the charts. Pepper molded her body to his, fitting her petite, soft shape against his big, hard one. He knew in his heart that she’d been perfectly created just for him.
His hands slid up from her waist to cup her breasts, teasing the swollen nipples until she whimpered her arousal. She loved this, she’d missed this wild, restless wanting. Moaning and writhing, she arched to him, relieved when his mouth closed over one nipple and he began to suck, swirling his tongue across the hard nubbin until it swelled hard and throbbing. “Oh, my God, Judah.” She twisted her fingers into his long hair. “I want you so much,” she told him as he worshiped her breasts.
The trust she manifested as she allowed him access to her body made him weak with relief. His hand slid between her legs and cupped her, as his lips refused to leave the full, lush banquet of her tits. He ravished the mounds with slow, sensuous strokes of his tongue and every doubt and fear he’d harbored faded away.
She moaned her need as he rubbed her softness, her hips arching, pressing up against the strength of his hand. She melted into him, tracing her fingertips in wo
nder along the strong cord of his neck.
Everywhere she touched him, her fingers trailed fire. Judah was the one shivering now. His hands knew exactly what they wanted as his fingers traced lacy patterns along the inside of her thighs.
“You’re burning me alive,” she whispered.
“Give me time, baby,” he smiled against her breast, “give me time.”
Rising above her, Judah blanketed her body, reclaiming her mouth, then he sat back just to look at her. Shameless and unafraid, she lay there supine, moonlight pouring over her skin and starlight in her hair. Her eyes were bright with promise and her smile assured him that there was nowhere she’d rather be than with him. Need for her slammed into him like a runaway freight train. She lifted her hand to touch his face. “I think you’re wonderful, Judah.” She encircled his wrist, her fingers not quite reaching around it, tugging him down until she could embrace him fully, her small palms moving softly up his back and over the strength of his shoulders. She kissed him along the line of his jaw, then down the side of his throat.
He returned the favor by trailing his lips from the silky line of her neck, down the valley of her breasts until he came to the heat of her pussy.
“Judah!”
Judah cupped her ass and held her still while he explored her pink center with his lips and tongue. She was so turned on, it didn’t take long before her world shattered and Pepper shuddered as wave after wave of ecstasy rocked through her body. She bucked, thrashed, kenning mindlessly as Judah pleasured her, stroking and teasing until she was begging him to take her. “Please, please, I can’t wait.”
“You don’t have to.” He moved up her quivering body, blazing a path with his kisses, gathering drops of dewy passion from her skin with his tongue. “God, I love you,” he whispered the magical words as he covered her lips and kissed her anew.
A thrill of unsurpassed joy swept over Pepper. “I love you too, so much.”
Judah folded her into his arms and lifted her, going to his back and bringing her on top of him to lie along his body. For a few breathless moments, his hands moved over her, his palm luxuriating across the silk of her back, caressing her small, rounded hips. With hands and mouth he paid homage to her breasts, then he eased her to a sitting position, slipping a hand between her thighs to caress her clit. “Take me inside you.”
“Okay.” Going to her knees, she eased back until she could see the proud, jutting length of his manhood. To Judah’s deep shock, she bent and kissed the tip, stroking him with her small hand from root to tip. He trembled in her grasp, bucking his hips up for more. She angled over him, spreading her thighs, and guided the head of his cock into her welcoming heat.
“Fuck, yea,” he growled at the miraculous pleasure of feeling her velvet softness close around him. She whimpered deep in her throat, digging her nails into his pecs as she worked herself down on his thick shaft. “Make yourself feel good, baby,” he encouraged as she lifted and fell, sinking down on him until he was buried to the hilt within her tight channel.
Pepper bent forward to kiss the hollow of his neck, feathering kisses up to his lips. She would have raised up, but he collared her neck, wanting to keep his mouth on hers and her hands on him for eternity. “Now move,” he whispered against her mouth.
With a smile of feminine mystique, she began to undulate over him. Up. Down. Around. Back and forth. Pepper made love to him. Shivers and sparks of desire danced all over his body. She was incredibly sexy as she moved over him and he showed his eternal appreciation by suckling at her breasts, trailing kisses between them all the way up to her sweet, plump lips. He reveled in her beauty as she rode him, her movements becoming more frantic and passionate with every rise and fall of her body. He cupped her tits, covering them with his palms and gloried in the pleasure he saw on her face. Moaning, he thrashed his head from side to side as she rocked over him. His hips lifted, his hands at her waist, thrusting up into her wet sheathe.
Pepper closed her eyes and relished every second until she felt the earth shift and with a cry of ecstasy, she flew into the night sky and soared among the bursting stars. Judah shouted her name, his shoulders jerked beneath her palms, and she felt him jet liquid heat deep inside her. Her head dropped to his chest and he held her until their breathing eased to normal.
“Are you okay, baby?” Judah asked as he soothed her hair across her shoulder.
Pepper rubbed her face against the furring on his chest and sighed with contentment. “I’m with you. I’m perfect.”
He tightened his hold on her and closed his eyes. “Me too.” He kissed her head. “Don’t leave me, okay?”
“Never,” she whispered. “Never.”
They drifted off to sleep.
When Pepper awoke, it was to Judah’s kisses. He was cuddly and playful. “You’re just a big Teddy bear, aren’t you?”
“I’m happy,” he said simply. “Happier than I’ve been since last I held you.” His teasing kisses escalated quickly to passionate ones. Their caresses heated and without being asked, Pepper widened her thighs and made a place for him. Desire rose between them, so strong it couldn’t be denied. “Mine, you’re mine, Pepper. Nobody else’s.” He ravished her mouth and joined himself to her with a whisper of relief as she accommodated him in the soft, hot haven of her body. The joy of their union swept over them and he plunged deep, touching her soul. She wrapped herself around him with abandon and Judah became intoxicated with love. He claimed her, possessed her, pleasured her, bringing them both close enough to the sun to touch the face of rapture.
Sated, they lay together until the enticing smell of fried bacon caused them to lift their heads. “Is someone here?”
“No.” Judah chuckled. “On days that I’m scheduled to be here, I have someone deliver breakfast from the hotel down the street. “Come on, a feast awaits.”
They rose from the bed and readied themselves for the day. As they ate together, their mood was light and joyful. “I can’t believe we’re together again,” Pepper said with contentment. “I never dared hope. I thought you were forever out of my reach.”
He gave her a dazzling smile, which quickly faded. “Do you think you can handle this? My problem?”
“What I can’t handle is being without you.” She raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. “Let’s take this one day at a time, shall we?”
“Sounds good to me.” He wove his fingers with hers, unwilling to not be touching her. “Are we together now? As in public?” Judah waited for her answer.
“Yes, if that’s what you want.” Pepper quivered with anticipation, she felt as if she was hovering on the brink of something inexplicably wonderful. “How about Ivana?”
Judah frowned. “Let me handle her. How about your family? Are you going to tell them?”
A vibrating buzz from her purse caused Pepper to draw it from her bag. When she saw the notifications, she groaned, “Sooner rather than later. Heath’s calling and I have thirty-two messages.”
Needing to put her big brother out of his misery, she answered. “Good morning.”
Immediately, she held the phone about two feet from her ear. Judah laughed as he saw her face and overheard Heath McCoy ranting on the other end of the line.
With a reassuring wink, she brought the phone near and began to ease her brother’s mind. “I’m perfectly fine, Heath. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m with Judah.” As she spoke, she kept her eyes on the man she loved. “No, he’s not married.” Pause. “Or getting a divorce.” Another pause. “I’ll explain when I see you. Yes, I’ll be home soon. I love you. Everything’s perfect.”
Once she hung up, Judah gazed into her eyes. “Was that tough?”
She exhaled loudly. “Very. They’ll get used to the idea, it might take a little while. I’m the baby of the family, after all.”
“You’re my baby.” He kissed her again, more content than he’d ever been. “I have rehearsal today and a meeting with some suits from the NFL.”
“The NFL?
”
“Yea, I might be headlining the Super Bowl if I play my cards right.”
Her eyes lit up. “Wow.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “When we’re together, I forget how big you are.”
Judah palmed his crotch. “I don’t see how you could forget something like this.”
She swatted his thigh playfully. “Stop, you know what I mean.”
“I do and that’s what I adore about you. You see me. You care about me. Not some image or persona or bank account.”
Pepper slid off the stool and into his arms. “I’m so proud of you.” She cradled him close. He seemed perfect to her. She wanted to ask him how he felt, but she didn’t want to treat him any differently than she would’ve before. When she went home, Pepper planned on learning all she could about what he was going through. The more she knew, the better she’d know how to help him – if help was necessary. “I know you have a lot to do. If you’ll take me back to Jimmy’s to get my car, I’ll go home and pour oil on the waters. I don’t know what your schedule looks like tonight, but if you can make it, you’re invited to supper. The quicker my family comes to know you, the quicker they’ll love you as I do.”
“All right, I like those plans. Let me get through my day and when it’s over, I’ll come to you.” Judah enfolded her in his arms and closed his eyes, a prayer of thanksgiving lifting heavenward from his heart.
CHAPTER NINE
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m happy.” Pepper faced her four brothers across the kitchen bar. They looked like a quartet of sullen tomcats, wanting to snarl and show their claws to something, but lacking the proper prey to latch onto.
“I just don’t trust him, sweetie. He’s a musician.” Heath’s familiar complaint didn’t surprise Pepper.
“I know.” She covered his hand with hers. “He may be a musician, but he has a heart like you. Big. Protective.”
