by Dijorn Moss
“I just don’t know if I want to be a slave to a company. I mean, my purpose in life is not simply to work and cash a check.”
“You have got to be the dumbest person I know. You’re tripping over a kid who ain’t yours and now you about to let that mess with your money.” His father set the coffee down on the counter next to the radio. He then reopened the hood. “You can do what you want, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Those was usually his father’s last words after every visit. Of course, this Friday was different. Jamal was getting ready to head out of town and he was still no closer to an answer than before.
The sound of Jamal’s phone signaled that he had a new text message. Jamal checked his phone, and he was elated that the message was from Quincy:
Going to the Retreat. I’ll pick you up in an hour.
—Q
Chapter Twelve
Jamal was excited about being able to ride up to the Retreat with Quincy. Last night’s dinner had not left Jamal with an optimistic view of Quincy and his relationship with God. In fact, Jamal really admired Quincy for wanting to go to the Retreat despite all that was going on at home. Jamal didn’t know if he could attend a church event with his marriage being on the rocks. He had a lot of things to talk about, and did not necessarily want to sit in the car quietly and wait until they arrived at the Retreat.
“I’m sorry I cut out early the other night. I was finishing up some important business,” Quincy said.
“Don’t trip! Trust me, I know how it is. I’m just glad that you changed your mind about coming to the Retreat. Last I heard there was plenty of space available for last-minute registration,” Jamal replied.
“Yeah, I haven’t been to church in a minute, and I actually like the Men’s Retreat. The church does a good job of picking out nice locations. I brought my golf clubs, so I can hit a few balls while I’m out there.”
“I’m sorry to hear about you and Karen,” Jamal said in a soft tone.
“What can you do? I mean, sometimes it’s just not meant to work out. You have to move on. I still got a whole lot of living to do. So I’ll just pick myself up and keep going.”
“I know that things are rough for you, and I admire that you’re still pressing forward. That’s why I like to stay close to you. I figured, since you’re in a place where I am trying to go, you could give me some great advice about my situation regarding my career and my son.”
“So you’re wondering which path to choose, career or fatherhood?”
Jamal did not see his situation as black or white. Yes, he was making a decision whether to advance his career or maintain the relationship he currently had with Jamir. The DNA test results made his situation even more difficult. However, Jamal considered whether the advancement of his career would provide a better situation. He no longer had any obligations to Jamir or Chantel. But the genetic separation and the emotional separation were of two different playing fields.
“I admire you,” Quincy said.
“Why?” Jamal asked, taken aback.
“For most men it’s not a choice. They would buy a Range Rover and wave to their kids in the distance. But you’re a man of honor and integrity.”
“So what do you think I should do?”
Quincy shrugged. “I think you should start your own business. I tell young guys like you all the time that now is the time, when you’re young, to go into business for yourself. Don’t depend on another man for your paycheck. As far as my situation goes, maybe I wouldn’t be having the problems I am having now if I’d spent more time with my family, so go for it. Let your employer know that you cannot accept a promotion that would take time away from you and your son.”
Jamal felt the need for full disclosure, but the mere thought cautioned him to fall back. He and Quincy had a decent relationship as prayer partners, but to disclose the truth about Jamir not being his real son would leave Jamal wide open.
At the same time, if Jamal expected to get sound advice from his prayer partner, then he would have to be honest.
“There is something that has come up that has complicated things a little bit,” Jamal said.
Quincy motioned for Jamal to continue.
“Jamir is not my son.”
The statement caused a minor swerve of Quincy’s car as he looked at Jamal as if the Loch Ness Monster stood behind him.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You mean to tell me you’re in limbo over a child who’s not yours? How can that be?”
“It’s a long story and it’s not the point. For two years I have loved this boy like he’s my own; I can’t just up and disappear.”
It was an understatement to say that Jamal regretted making his secret known to Quincy. His stomach turned into a pretzel as he zeroed in on the pine air freshener in Quincy’s car. His skin rejected the nutmeg leather interior and started to itch.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re taking care of another man’s kid?” Quincy said.
“It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Obviously!” Quincy put both hands on the steering wheel and leaned forward as he shook his head. “J, you’re too young to be worried about someone else’s kid, especially since you’re not with the mother.”
“I’ve been around the kid his whole life. Like I said, I can’t up and disappear.”
“I ain’t trying to be funny or nothing, but to commit career suicide is foolish. Now is not the time to be noble, now is the time to be practical. You’re young, give yourself time to develop your career, then start a family. Take it from me with a daughter in college; it ain’t easy being a family man.”
Quincy had a tendency to be adamant, but Jamal was not use to seeing Quincy this adamant. He knew he meant the best, but he expected more optimism from someone who had been married for twenty years and had a daughter in college.
“I mean, you’re young. You don’t need to be weighed down with those types of responsibilities. If you learn nothing else from me, then at least learn that marriages don’t last. Can you imagine where I would’ve been if I hadn’t invested so much in my career? I would have really been messed up.”
“I know, I know, but in my heart something is telling me to not abandon him. What if he turns out to be a menace to society?”
“I’m not saying not to help him, but how do you think you’re helping him by lying?”
“Because the truth is whack!” Jamal shrugged.
“What is the truth?” Quincy asked.
He had said too much. He was embarrassed at how the conversation had unfolded, so, instead, he reclined his seat and folded his arms.
“Nothing, man, it’s a long story.”
Quincy could not believe his ears. He always saw Jamal as a sharp young man, a good father, and a hard worker. In so many ways Quincy admired Jamal because he lacked the discipline and focus that Jamal demonstrated in every aspect of his life. Quincy would not even dare say he was half the Christian Jamal was, and that was okay with him. Quincy fell into Christianity as a way to appease his sanctified wife. He had trouble being fully committed to the Christian doctrine. He desired to stay relevant. Jamal, on the other hand, seemed like someone who was fully immersed in scripture, and was willing to carry out his life according to biblical principles.
In light of recent events, Quincy had decided to be like God, and love from a distance. After this weekend, he did not even plan to step foot into God’s house ever again. This Retreat would mark the end of Quincy’s journey as a Christian.
He had one last task to do, and that was expose this phony A-MOG for the fraud he was. Quincy traveled and took bites into a once juicy red apple that had started to turn mushy during the course of the journey. In his periphery he saw the jagged mountains turn into tall redwood trees. The wide fourlane road that his Range Rover cruised upon turned into a narrow two-lane road.
This would also be the last time he and Jamal would get to spend together. Quincy planned to cut off all lines of communication
from anyone who attended Greater Anointing. He never really saw himself as someone who needed to depend on another man anyway.
That was the great thing about being a man. Unlike women, men could stand alone if need be, and most obstacles in life required that a man do so.
Chapter Thirteen
Last night, Will had been a little spooked as his perilous little city evolved into a mountain range, and the mountain range evolved into a beach resort. Will had been to a beach before, but this beach was secluded, with no inner city nearby. When they arrived at a cabin that looked like something out of a Friday the 13th movie, now in the full radiance of the day, Will did feel more at ease.
The park just seemed to exist without any interruption from man. Even the buildings seemed to have evolved from nature itself. The main building was made out of stones that must’ve been collected from the beach.
Will started to consider that maybe he was attending some meeting by a cult, and really he was being led to a slaughter or a UFO probing. The birds chirped loudly and dominated the sound. Several men began on a slow ascent toward a solid oak building along a cobblestone road.
“This way.” Chauncey took the lead toward the building. Intrigue led Will’s steps along the path, as the auburn leaves cascaded down from the towering trees.
With each step, Will’s kneecaps felt like they were made of jelly. Pockets of tension were released throughout Will’s body.
They arrived at a double door entrance, where a man in a T-shirt two sizes too small stood guard. The guy had bugged eyes, and a receding hairline that withered into a widow’s peak. Will hoped to spark a strong enough connection with the guy to tell him that he should have some dignity and cut all of his hair off.
There was a wooden table where the words WELCOME TO THE MEN’S RETREAT MIGHTY MEN OF VALOR were plastered on a banner.
Will did not have a clue what the words “Mighty Men of Valor” meant, but he assumed that it meant something good.
“Welcome, Deacon McClendon,” one of the brothers said.
“Hey, Brother Richardson, how are you?” Chauncey asked.
Will realized that his companion carried a title with some influence. Will respected any man of power.
“Hey, young man. God bless you, and welcome to the Men’s Retreat.” The guy extended his hand.
Will shook his hand and surveyed the area. The room reminded him a lot of what he’d heard an AA meeting was: not a lot of decorations, just a bunch of chairs, and a podium toward the front that stood next to the chimney.
There was a small group of guys talking, but nothing was occurring that looked to be of any importance. Will wondered what had been so urgent about getting to this meeting that Chauncey would risk his life to attend.
“Is it too late to register?” Chauncey asked.
“Oh no, no, no, we still have room. We were prepared for last-minute registers,” Mr. Richardson said.
Will watched as Chauncey peeled off two one hundred dollar bills and handed them over to the man. The man put the two hundred dollars in a metal lockbox and handed Will a brochure.
“Thanks!” Chauncey looked at Will. “I am going to go say hello to a few people.”
Will followed suit and stood next to Chauncey.
“Hey, Deacon McClendon,” a muscular guy greeted Chauncey.
“Gentlemen, this is Will. I met him last night and I convinced him to come and join us.”
“Praise the Lord!” one man said.
“We were just talking about Michael Vick and his return to football,” the muscular guy said.
“Yeah, that man messed up by having a bunch of snitches in his camp,” Will said, taking comfort in the fact that their conversation revolved around something other than church.
“The lesson is to watch the company you keep. Because God blessed that boy with a gift worth millions of dollars and he threw it away betting on dogfights. Not everyone is meant to go with you to the top,” one guy said.
“He should be all right. He got Tony Dungy helping him get his life straight with the Lord,” the muscular guy commented.
That’s when the conversation derailed for Will. He did not think that Vick’s redemption lay in his spiritual relationship with an ex-football coach. Vick just needed to be more wise about who he kept in his camp.
Will zoned out of the conversation and wondered what he was doing at the church event. He was certain that he would die of boredom.
“How did you meet Deacon McClendon?” one man asked Will. The question snapped Will out of a daze.
“Oh, I had some car troubles last night and Will was kind enough to assist me,” Chauncey said.
The statement started a chain of curious looks from the brethren.
“I don’t understand how this could happen.” Will turned around to see a tall man with a gray beard. This guy looked like he could have started on the Lakers back when they had Jerry West and Wilt Chamberlain. The man was talking to a much smaller white man. He followed Chauncey, who obviously knew the man, as he headed toward him.
“Pastor Dawkins, what’s wrong?” Chauncey asked.
This guy had to be the biggest pastor Will had ever seen. He always saw pastors who were either fat and bald or skinny and bald. This pastor’s voracity was somewhat intimidating. For a moment, Will almost did not want Chauncey to bother him. The guy seemed visibly upset.
“The enemy seems to be up to his old tricks,” the pastor replied.
“Is there something wrong?” Chauncey asked again.
“I’m truly sorry, Pastor, for this mix-up,” an employee said.
“He doubled booked us with a woman’s book club,” Pastor Dawkins said to Chauncey.
“Lord Jesus, have mercy! The devil is a liar,” Chauncey shouted out.
Will could have sworn he missed something. He was in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strange men, the person who’d invited him being the strangest of them all. He could not understand why a group of women being at the same location was a problem; unless these men were gay. Will vowed that if he somehow stumbled upon a gay religious event, then he would never tell a soul.
“Listen, you still have all of your conference rooms available, but to be honest with you, we could use the extra guests,” the ground’s rep said.
“You don’t understand. The whole purpose of why these men travel all this way is to be free from the distractions of women and the things of the world,” Pastor Dawkins hammered.
At this point, Will had concluded to leave this place just as soon as he robbed Chauncey of all of his money. He hadn’t come all this way for nothing.
“We’ll try not to let our other guests be a distraction,” the employee replied.
This pastor sucked in so much air that Will thought he was about to sock this dude, which would have been pretty cool.
“Lord have mercy, I guess we are going to have to figure out a way to work things out,” Pastor Dawkins replied.
“Thank you, Pastor, for your understanding. We’ll make sure that you will still have a pleasant stay.”
The pastor shook the guy’s hand and rubbed his own head after the man left.
“Boy, the devil is working overtime, but he won’t get the glory. This weekend was ordained by God,” Chauncey declared.
“You’re right about that,” the pastor said, and then turned toward Will. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Pastor Dawkins.” The pastor held out his fist.
Will smiled and bumped the pastor’s fist back. “Will.”
“Welcome to the Men’s Retreat. How do you know Deacon McClendon?”
“He had a little car trouble last night. I had to help him out.”
Will chuckled at the inside joke, but Chauncey did not. Will found last night’s events both strange and hysterical.
“Well, I’ll see you at tonight’s events.” The pastor moved swiftly away, like he was in a hurry or something.
A few moments later, Chauncey turned to Will. “Let us go and get freshe
ned up for the afternoon sessions. This way, Will,” Chauncey said as Will followed him along the boardwalk back toward the cabins. Chauncey opened the door and Will immediately noticed something that was insignificant to him before. There were four beds, which meant that Will could expect to share this room with two more Jesus freaks.
Jamal felt like he had been to a party and finally got the joke being passed around. Sadly, the joke was about him. Jamal had been convinced that he was the father of Jamir.
He disregarded his father’s comments as the opinion of a player who refused to let people get caught up, but Quincy’s words penetrated Jamal’s security wall and brought everything crashing down.
Now in the midst of an already tough decision, Jamal had to come to grips with reality. The reality was that he was seriously considering putting his career on hold for a child who was not his own. Jamal feared that so much attention on what to do about Jamir could cause him to miss the real message God was trying to convey to him.
His train of thought led him on such a journey into self-reflection. He was only conscious of the fact that he and Quincy arrived at their destination when the car came to a stop and Quincy’s car door slammed.
Quincy ascended some cobblestone steps, and Jamal wrestled with the thought that he no longer wanted to be at the Men’s Retreat. He’d come to the Retreat with a sea of questions and he got his answer. He was a fool, now he had to figure out what to do, and the Men’s Retreat did not seem like the place. The door closed and snapped him out of his consciousness.
“I just registered and got our room keys,” Quincy said. Jamal did not even look at Quincy. “Listen, man, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s tough enough being a single parent, but I don’t understand you putting your life on hold for a kid who’s not even yours.”
Quincy’s words had done enough damage. Jamal barely paid attention to what Quincy said. Instead, he observed a tree a few yards ahead. The branch had money green leaves on it. The wind tossed the leaves to and fro as they cascaded down to the ground. Jamal felt very vulnerable at this point. However, he did not want Quincy to think that his words shattered Jamal’s confidence, so Jamal took in a fist full of air and exhaled a deep sigh as he leaned his head back against the headrest.
