by Morgan Henry
Derek still hadn’t said a word, and that silence wrapped itself around Mary’s heart and twisted it.
“I understand. Please call me and let me know what you decide.” Mary’s voice cracked, and she had to take a few breaths. “I really hope you can forgive me.”
“We’ll give you a lift home,” Logan offered.
“I can’t,” said Mary brokenly. “I really can’t, and it’s not far. Please, just go.”
They left, and Mary put her head down on the table.
“I heard the truck leave.” Karen’s voice startled Mary.
“Yeah,” Mary said, her voice hoarse.
“Want to talk?”
Mary shrugged. “I don’t think there’s anything to say. They’re going to have to decide whether to forgive me or not. It’s out of my hands.”
“Don’t give up hope. It looked pretty bleak for me for a while until my tough sister intervened and set us all straight.”
“Your sister’s not feeling so tough right now.”
“I hate to ask, but have you given the cops your statement about Bob?”
“Yes, at Derek’s office. I would guess that Bob is in for a tough road ahead.”
“He smelled like booze. Do you think he might have an alcohol problem?”
Mary thought about it for a minute. “Yeah, maybe. He always was a heavy drinker, and it got worse over the last year or so. He really changed when he was drinking, and not for the better.”
“It doesn’t excuse his actions, though.”
“No, but maybe he can be a better person if he wants to and gets help.”
“I’m pretty mad at him about my store,” Karen confessed. “But not at you. Don’t ever think that.”
“I’ll try not to. But the good girl’s fiancé wouldn’t have done anything bad.” She gave her sister a sad smile, knowing that she had to let go of trying to be the perfect everywoman—daughter, sister, fiancée, and person.
“Let it go. Want to stay here?”
“No. I want to go home and see how Sammy is.”
“Want company?”
Mary thought about it. She wasn’t sure how she would feel about being in the apartment alone after Bob had been there. Internally, she warred with the idea that Karen would be happier at home versus her need for company. Perfect sister Mary would let Karen stay.
Mary let go of perfect sister and reached for the help that was offered. “Please?”
“I’ll grab a change of clothes and tell the boys.”
Chapter 26
Logan looked at his brother the next morning.
Derek’s red eyes and rumpled hair said he hadn’t slept.
Logan was willing to forgive Mary and pack her up and move her and Sammy back in. He would bet that Derek wasn’t.
Mary had unwittingly committed the worst sin in Derek’s eyes. Their parents had always instilled the virtue of honesty in their boys, along with their other qualities. When they got into trouble, the boys quickly learned not to compound their transgression by lying.
When Derek had graduated, he had planned to open his practice in Hardwick Bay with a friend of theirs. Ben had been like a brother to Logan and Derek through their childhood and high school years in Hardwick Bay. He and Derek were in the same age, and Ben’s indifferent parents hadn’t cared that Ben spent more time with the Murrays than at home.
Both Ben and Derek went on to become optometrists, though at different schools. The three had remained close, however, spending school vacations together and keeping in touch via computer. Logan had wondered if they would end up in a ménage with a woman to share between the three of them. He knew Derek thought about it too.
Derek had made all the arrangements for their practice since Ben was out of the province. He leased their space, set up and purchased the office furniture, and arranged financing on the specialized equipment for the office. It was his name on everything since Ben couldn’t be there to sign.
Ben had approved all of it via computer, Skype, and photos. He made suggestions, laughingly decided on colour schemes with Derek and Logan’s mom, and even helped design their logo.
Then he Skyped Derek, and Logan happened to be at the computer with his brother.
“Hey, Derek,” Ben greeted his oldest friend. “I’ve got a bit of bad news.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Derek leaned forward a little, concern all over his face. “No one’s been hurt, have they?”
“No, no.” There was a long pause. Ben took a deep breath and spoke quickly. It was as though he was ripping off a Band-Aid. “I won’t be joining you to practice in Hardwick Bay. I’m joining my girlfriend in Montreal. She won’t leave her family, so I’m joining her.”
Derek blinked. Logan gaped. He couldn’t help but speak. “What the hell, Ben? Derek’s got all the equipment ordered, signed the leases. When did you figure this plan out?”
Ben looked away from the camera, and Logan knew then that this wasn’t a new plan of Ben’s.
“Tell me the truth, Ben.” Derek’s voice was hard.
“I’ve been debating for months, but I just can’t let her go. I accepted the job offer in Montreal four months ago at the job fair.”
“Four months!” Derek shouted. “We signed the lease and placed the final order for the equipment two months ago. You were planning to leave me on the hook for all this money all along? Setting up a practice doesn’t come cheap, Ben.”
“I’m sure you can get out of it. And you’re going to be there anyway. You can hire someone. I…I’ve got to go. Sorry,” he finished lamely and broke the connection.
Derek sat back, stunned. “What am I going to do?” he whispered.
“Hey, you know I’ll do whatever I can to help. Let’s talk to the leasing companies. And I bet Dad will have some ideas on how to restructure some of the debt. We’ll figure it out. And Ben can go to hell.”
Logan couldn’t fault Ben for choosing to be with what turned out to be his future wife, but he had lied about it and put Derek in a tenuous financial situation. Both Derek and Logan had a hard time forgiving that.
And now Mary had done something similar. She had lied about her job and condo the whole time they were together. And up until yesterday, it had seemed as though she had been planning all along to go back. Derek would feel that he couldn’t trust her not to leave them high and dry like Ben had.
Logan slid a coffee over to Derek.
He sipped his own and watched his brother.
“I know what you want,” Derek finally said.
“What’s that?”
“You want me to forgive her and go back like nothing happened. Like she never lied.”
“I want you to look at this whole thing from Mary’s point of view. Not just what you would have done if you were in Mary’s situation, but as if you were Mary. As if you had spent your whole life pleasing your parents and burying your own wants because you were afraid to lose your family. As if displeasing family and those around you was more of a crime than letting them think something that wasn’t true yet.” Logan wanted Derek to think about how Mary felt and how that influenced her actions.
Derek drank some of his coffee. “Why do you want her back? You weren’t that entranced by this whole thing to begin with.”
“I love her. She’s smart and funny and sexy. She’s brave. Brave enough to recognize that she needed to change her whole life and go out and do it. Sure, she had a fallback plan, but that just proves she’s smart. She’s able to recognize those things about her personality that aren’t working for her and try to change them. That shows a level of insight that not everyone is capable of. I think those are damn good qualities in a wife. She’s tough enough to stay here in this town not knowing if you or I will take her back. If she’s going to be in a ménage, she’ll need that toughness.” Logan had realized last night that Mary could handle what this world could dish out.
He also realized that he needed to get over feeling guilty for a few minutes of his past. He wasn
’t defined by a few moments of stupidity but by the whole of his words and actions. He knew he wasn’t about to make a splash on the Internet with their life choices, but they could be discreet and live their lives, hopefully with a minimum of prejudice from others.
Derek didn’t respond.
Logan knew that Derek was making lists in his mind. A list of Mary’s good qualities and her not-so-good ones. A list of reasons to forgive her and reasons not to.
Logan wanted to tell him to tear up the list and follow his heart, but he knew that Derek needed to have a rational base to set his heart upon. If he couldn’t articulate the reasons for a decision, he couldn’t live with it. And this choice would have consequences forever.
* * * *
Derek went and hid in his office in the loft.
Not that a person could really hide in the loft—after all it was open to the main living area in the house—but it was a safe place for him to think.
Derek was thinking of the reasons to keep Mary and the reasons to let her go. He felt like writing down the list, but he had watched enough sitcoms in his life to know that would backfire.
He had a hard time trying to do what Logan had asked and see it from Mary’s view. He couldn’t imagine having parents who wanted so much control over their children’s lives. Make that their adult lives.
Aside from ensuring their sons had access to education and encouraging them to pursue careers that would make them happy, his own parents had left them to make their own mistakes.
Sure, they had doubts about Logan’s vocation as a master craftsman, but they eventually realized he had the talent to make it in a niche market. And Logan loved his work. It didn’t hurt that their mom loved his creations and had him build a number of pieces for her.
And though they were disappointed in Ben and his deceit, they hadn’t swooped in and rescued Derek. They did help him strategize on how to meet with the leasing company and make the best of his situation. He got out of it on his own and was damn proud that he had. And it turned out to be a bit of a blessing because there was really only enough work for one in Hardwick Bay at the beginning. It was only over the last year or so he was contemplating hiring another optometrist.
What would life have been like if their parents had constantly been pushing him and Logan into what they wanted? Would he and Logan have tried to please them at the expense of their own lives? How would their personalities have been different?
He wondered what life in the Winsor house had been like when Mary and Karen were young. He should be asking Mary or Karen.
Well, Mary most of all. But that would mean going and talking to her, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to do that just yet. He wanted to know whether he wanted to try again with her before he went and talked to her.
He worked on some bookkeeping for a while, though his mind wasn’t completely on it. He hated it anyway and wished Mary was here to do it like she had suggested one day, long ago it seemed now. This was a poor way to distract him from thinking of her. They had even discussed where her desk could go in the loft so she had a place for her business.
He went and started to clean the bathrooms, but when he got to the master suite, all he could think about was the fantastic sex he and Mary had shared in the shower.
Snow was falling outside. He could see the slate-gray waters of the bay absorb the flakes since it was too early for ice. He had imagined how nice it would be to have Mary here with them in the winter.
When the snow was thick outside and the wind was raging, they could be warm in front of the fire, watching it storm or making love basking in the glow of the flames. Or they could be downstairs ignoring the world with a movie. Just having Mary’s presence in the house over the past week or so had livened the place up.
God, he did want her back.
But was it the right thing to do?
* * * *
Mary had given Karen the boot.
She was glad of her sister’s presence overnight—there was no doubt about that—but she was okay being by herself again. They both had to work in Karen’s store, and then Karen could go home to her husbands.
Mary realized that Bob’s actions were more absolute stupidity than truly a threat to her life and limb. She believed that he didn’t run over the cat, just found the poor thing. He was a jerk and kind of pathetic but he was squeamish enough that he wouldn’t have done it deliberately.
He should not have hit her. She wasn’t excusing that for one second, but she did recognize that it stemmed more from a moment of truly bad judgment than absolute evil. Besides, he was currently in jail for the weekend at least. He would be prohibited from coming to Hardwick Bay in the future.
She would bet he knew he’d screwed up big time and would be a good boy until his trial. Or he would take a plea more likely. His career as a lawyer was over, though.
She worked on getting Cailynn’s and Hanna’s wedding favours ready.
The two women were marrying their men the next week. They had decided to have their celebrations together since they were inviting more or less the same people anyway. That way they could spend a little more on the celebration since there were two bridal parties paying the bill.
She happily spent the afternoon putting together the little boxes of candies. Each person had picked out their favourites to give away so there were six confections in a little box for each guest. There were pink jellybeans, a peanut butter cup, a spicy chili chocolate, a chocolate espresso caramel ball, a dark chocolate block, and chocolate-covered blueberries. The boxes were white and tied with dark green or red bows.
Apparently the women had gone with a Christmas colour theme since it was late in November. It made it much easier to decorate, and they were happy to get everyone in the mood for the holidays.
Mary looked at her work with satisfaction. There were little boxes over just about every surface in the workroom. They looked so pretty it lifted her spirits for a few minutes.
Then she thought about going to the wedding. Logan and Derek would be there, of course. They were all invited, and Mary had planned on going with the men. Guess she would be stag now.
She tried not to let that thought drag her down. It would be hard for a while, seeing them, but she would have to get over it eventually.
Mary stacked the boxes carefully in a bigger box for the women to pick up later and put it in one of the large coolers. Then she set about filling the large boxes of chocolates and wrapping them in Christmas paper to sell out front. Once that task was done, she filled the cooler out front with individual chocolates so Karen wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow morning. She also stocked a few shelves while she was at it. Then she dusted everything, mopped the floors, and scrubbed all the surfaces in the workroom.
She realized she was stalling.
She didn’t want to go upstairs and be by herself. Not that she was scared to be in the apartment, but she had just grown used to having Logan and Derek around.
No, she had to stop lying to herself. She hadn’t enjoyed having Logan and Derek around. She had loved having them around.
Mary checked her watch. Though it was dark out, it wasn’t that late. The Cottage would still be open. She decided to have dinner there amidst people rather than be by herself.
Ditching her apron, she went upstairs, changed, and set off for The Cottage.
It was snowing fairly heavily out, and Mary was happy to see it. She liked winter, though she had a feeling she might get a little tired of the amount of snow Hardwick Bay got in comparison to Toronto. She huddled herself into her winter coat and pulled up the hood.
The snow wasn’t deep enough to really impede her, and she enjoyed the short walk to the diner, occasionally kicking the fluffy white stuff with her boot and watching it swirl.
As she approached, she looked at the parking lot. It would appear the diner wasn’t terribly busy for a Saturday night. Mary suspected the weather was keeping a lot of people at home. The first real storm of the year always did that. When it wa
s the fiftieth storm, staying home got boring.
Two men hopped out of their truck and headed to the front door.
Aw, crap.
Mary would have known that truck and those hot man-butts anywhere. It was Derek and Logan.
Yeah, of course they would have to come here. But why tonight?
She stopped walking.
It was tempting to turn around and head back to the apartment. Anxiety at seeing them in public for the first time gripped her chest, making it hard to breathe in the cold air.
She turned around, then stopped, and turned back to the diner.
She was going to have to deal with them. It was a small town. She could choose to show some grace and manners or spend an awful lot of time and energy avoiding them, looking like a complete idiot while she did so.
Mary opted to at least try for grace and manners.
You can do this. You will be calm, polite, and friendly. There will not be a big scene. Mary kept repeating this to herself as she approached the front door.
The sign at the front proclaimed the special to be chicken Parmesan or homemade chili with garlic bread and dessert. Knowing Gina, the bowl of chili would be the size of a horse trough.
Mary entered the diner, the cowbell on the door clanging to announce her, and the smell of spices and meat filled her hungry nostrils.
She swept her gaze over to the tables for two, hoping to find an empty one.
Of course, the first people she saw were Derek and Logan.
Chapter 27
Mary looked quickly away and rushed awkwardly toward the opposite side of the restaurant. So much for grace and polite friendliness.
She took a deep breath and slowed down, just a little, finding a small table for her.
“Just you tonight?” Gina asked as she brought over a menu.
Mary looked up to see both concern and surprise in Gina’s eyes. The older woman opened her mouth as if to say more and then shut it.
