Allie’s eyes were sparkling again. “Pick out some clothes and stuff them in a suitcase.You can’t get into your house, so Jack sent some loaners.”
He picked up a pair of jeans. “Nice duds. Bet he paid more for them than I do.” He folded up two pairs of jeans, then grabbed several T-shirts. He stuffed a package of new briefs into the top.
Gracie moved to the sofa.This couldn’t be happening. How could he cave so easily? And what on earth were they going to talk about for two days? The memory of last night seared her cheeks, and she bent her head so her hair would hide her blush. She didn’t know if she was ready to move this relationship to a different level quite so fast.
Without looking, she grabbed some jeans and shirts and stuffed them in the suitcase. Her hand touched a filmy negligee Shannon had bought, and she gulped. This was all wrong. She couldn’t go through with it. Once they were in the truck, she’d talk Michael into getting separate rooms or something. He would see the wisdom of moving slower.
“Where are the kids?” Michael asked.
“At Shannon and Jack’s.They claimed the rascals for the first night.”
Michael frowned. “Does he know what happened at our place?”
Allie held up her hand. “Don’t worry, Michael. Jack has a dozen hands, and he’ll watch your babies like a hawk. But we both know Vargas is after you, not them.”
“He might use them to get to me, though.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’m not so sure about this, Allie.”
“I am, ”Allie said, shutting the suitcase and zipping it.“Now, get out of here. Both of you. Put all this out of your mind. Let go of the stress for a few days. Hike in the ponderosa pines. Go rock climbing. Or rafting on the river. Laugh; cry; let the wind run through your hair.”
“Stop! You’re making it sound too fun,” Gracie said, half laughing. “I’m not sure about this either.”
“You have no choice. It’s all arranged. Call your commanding officer on your way.”
Michael grinned. “I hear it’s a terrific place.”
Allie nodded. “You’ll never want to leave the mountains. The restaurant at the lodge has the most amazing view of the sunset. If you hurry, you can get there in time to see it.”
“Wait—the livestock,” Gracie said.
Allie shoved a suitcase at each of them. “We’ll care for your horses. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“I can see that,” Michael said slowly, glancing at Gracie. He grabbed her suitcase. “I’ll put these in the truck.You have everything you need for tonight?”
She could say no. She could sit on the sofa and refuse to budge. But in the end she just nodded and followed him out the door, with her heart about to jump from her throat.
20
SUNSET HIGHLIGHTED THE MOUNTAINS WITH RED AND GOLD. THE CHISOS Mountains Lodge Restaurant had a panorama of windows that looked out over the best view in Texas. Delicious Tex-Mex aromas hung in the air—peppers, chili, onion. Gracie sneaked another glimpse of the mountains, then went back to studying her menu.There was a large variety of food, so it was hard to choose from so many dishes she loved. Settling on chicken enchiladas, she closed her menu and studied Michael’s bent head.
They’d barely talked on the way here. She hadn’t known what to say and suspected he felt the same. “Did you find out anything today?” she asked after the server took their order.
He lifted a blank expression. “Find out anything?”
“At Border Patrol. About your brother’s death.”
“Oh. Nothing concrete. Pickens said he had some leads, but if he did, they’re not in the file.”
“That doesn’t make sense.Wouldn’t he have to put them in the file?”
He sipped his coffee. “That’s standard protocol. Estevez was openly hostile to me looking over the file too. I’m wondering if someone in Border Patrol had a hand in Phil’s murder.”
“How can you find out?”
“By talking to people. Digging. Pickens isn’t going to like it.”
The server interrupted with their salads. Gracie waited until she left. The sound of Michael’s voice was a blue wave cresting on the beach. She liked listening to it, seeing it. Someday she wanted to close her eyes and let it carry her away. She didn’t realize she was staring until he laughed uncomfortably.
“Do I have something on my nose?” he asked.
She glanced down at her salad. “Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Care to share it? Tell me more about yourself, Gracie. I still don’t know whether you have siblings, or anything about your life before you showed up here. Other than your mother’s death.”
With his blue eyes boring into her, she couldn’t think. “There’s nothing much to tell. I’m an only child.” She toyed with her napkin. “Did you know I left Allie’s ranch today?”
“Where’d you go?”
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”
He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m listening.”
But she had ceased to think, with his thumb rubbing across the skin on top of her hand. “I went to Pecos,” she said. “To the place where I grew up.”
His thumb stopped its movement, then resumed. “Pecos? You got there and back and still made it to the courthouse?”
She smiled. “I didn’t let the grass grow under my tires.The house looks the same.”
“Did you stop?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it again.“No, I chickened out. Maybe next time.”
“I could go with you.”
Her pulse stuttered, then resumed its rhythm.When she tried to withdraw her hand, he maintained possession. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it,” she said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I think you do.You brought it up.”
All she had to do was open her mouth. Bare her soul. How hard could it be? But the weight of years of silence pressed hard.
“I bet your dad wants to see you as much as you want to see him.”
A hummingbird darted from blossom to blossom outside the window. The bird’s wings moved so fast they could hardly be seen. Her life had been like that. She moved from place to place quickly so she could come and go without being noticed. If she was noticed, she might have to give a part of herself to someone. Michael was pushing her to do what she’d avoided for six years.
Something squeezed her chest. Maybe a cry that wanted to escape. She managed to hold it at bay behind the lump in her throat. She shook her head.
“He hates me,” she choked out. “When he found her in the stall, I saw his stricken expression, the hatred in his eyes. I didn’t have to tell him—he knew what I’d done.”
Michael smiled tenderly. “No one could hate you, Gracie.”
“I killed my mother and broke his heart. Then I took the money my grandmother left me and sneaked off in the night so I wouldn’t have to see the condemnation in his face over breakfast every morning. That money is gone, all of it. I used it trying to forget, but it didn’t work. Nothing works.” She was crying now, barely aware of the curious stares around her.
“Hang on a minute, love.” He rose and went to speak to the server. When he returned, he took her hand. “Let’s finish this in our room. Our server says our food is up, and she’s going to put it in boxes.We can eat in our cabin.”
“I’m sorry I ruined our dinner,” she said, the tears still running down her cheeks.
Where had this fountain sprung from? She couldn’t turn off the tap of tears. Sobs welled in her chest as well, and only a monumental effort kept them back.
“It’s not ruined at all.We’ll just have some privacy.”
With his fingers on her elbow, she followed his lead through the restaurant toward the door.Their server met them with boxes of food. She flicked a curious glance in Gracie’s direction, then wished them a good night. Michael quickly paid for their meal, left a generous tip, then took her to the truck, which was parked on the s
teep hillside. He drove up the even steeper incline to their cabin, a low-slung log structure hidden by ponderosa pines. It had a great view of the Casa Grande Peak.
Gracie sniffled her way up the walk to the front door. Her tears flowed until she stepped inside. Seeing the big king-size bed in the cabin dried them right up.
THE ROOM WAS A LITTLE SHABBY, BUT CLEAN. THE BED HAD A PILLOW-TOP mattress. Don’t look at the bed. Michael deliberately turned his back and pulled out a chair at the small dining table. “Here. Sit. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”
She smiled at him. “Are you always so perceptive?’
“Me, perceptive? Like a tank. No one has ever accused me of that before.”
She scooted up to the table and opened the Styrofoam boxes.The aroma of roasted peppers vied with the desert scents wafting in through the open window. A gecko ran from the window ledge onto the table, then back again.
Gracie watched it until it disappeared. “When I was a little girl, I could watch them by the hour.Their red squeaky noises.”
“Red?”
“I. . . I told you I see color and shape in sounds.The synesthesia? It’s lots of sounds I see, not just music.”
“You’re kidding.” But he could see from her expression that she was serious. “In every sound?”
“Not always. Music, yes.Voices too. But not every sound I hear.”
“Do you see color in my voice?”
She nodded. “It’s like a deep blue wave.” Color ran up her face and settled in her cheeks. “It surrounds me and lifts me up like I’m body-surfing.”
“What about your own voice?”
She shook her head. “Nothing there.” She picked up her plastic fork. “I shouldn’t have said anything. People look at me differently when they know.”
“Sure, they do! You’re even more amazing.” He watched her eat, then wolfed down his food. “What about your dad, Gracie? Have you talked to him since you left?”
She put down her fork and carefully closed her box over the half- eaten enchiladas. The dying light shone in her face, and she shielded her eyes. She shook her head, and her hair fell forward to obscure her cheeks. “I’ve picked up the phone several times, but I never dial.”
“He may long to see you as much as you want to see him.”
“I don’t think so. I was a huge disappointment to him.”
“Because of getting pregnant? Or because of your mother?”
She tore her paper napkin into strips. “I didn’t tell him I was pregnant. But he shouted at me when he found her. He kept saying, ‘You knew Diablo was a killer.’ And I did.” She ended on a whisper.
“He probably doesn’t blame you.”
She shook her head. “He does. He must.”
“What if you went back and confessed it all to him? Confront it head-on?” He nodded toward her purse. “That Bible of his fell open to the story of the prodigal. Maybe he’s waiting to welcome you home.”
Her head came up. “That’s always your answer. I’m not good at confrontation. If he wanted to see me, he has the money to track me down.”
“I thought you said you’d moved around a lot.”
“A good PI could find me. I’ve always kept the same cell phone number, even when I moved.”
“So he could call you,”Michael said. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and protect her. All these years she’d hoped to hear from the man, and her father couldn’t pick up the phone and call her.
She nodded. “But he never has. So I know he hates me still.”
“Like I said, I’d go with you.” He took her hand.
She squeezed his fingers. “You always know how to say the right thing.”
“Let’s go for a walk along the trail and watch the last of the sunset.”
She nodded after a surreptitious glance toward the bed. He held out his hand, and she took it. Her head barely came to his chest. He liked her smallness, compact but perfectly proportioned. Being around her made him feel he could climb mountains and conquer the world. Her hand nestled in his, and he led her along the stony path up to the top of the hill. It was deserted up here. A flat rock jutted out over the canyon and was the perfect spot for viewing the last glimpses of the sun.
“Let’s sit here,” he said, leading her to the rock. He glanced over the edge. “There’s another ledge just under this one, so it’s safe to dangle your feet if you want.”
She knelt and scooted forward. He settled beside her with his arm around her waist. “Cold?”The wind had a bite to it.
“Not with you here.” She leaned against him and rested her head against his shoulder, then lifted her head and stared into his face.
When their gazes locked, something expanded in his chest, right around the region of his heart.The warmth spread as he sank into the depth of her eyes. He read the loneliness there, the tentative hope that this relationship might be something more.
It already was to him.
The realization made him dizzy, and he clutched her a little tighter. “I don’t want to scare you,” he muttered, pressing his lips to her hair. “If I’m moving too fast, tell me.”
Lifting his head, he smoothed her hair, silken and sweet scented. He lifted his right hand up to cup her cheek and tilt her lips to meet his. Their breath mingled as he bent his head. Kissing her was like bungee jumping off the cliff. He was in freefall and wasn’t sure when he would reach the end of the cord. Her lips were soft and pliant, with the faint taste of her mint lip gloss.
She pulled away with a question in her eyes. He realized she wasn’t going to let him that close unless he spilled the truth. “I love you, Gracie.” His thumb traced her jawline. “I love your heart and the way you love other people. I love the way you blush so easily and pay such close attention to the kids.”The strand of hair that tangled in his fingers was fine and silky, and he couldn’t resist raising it to his lips. “I love your hair and the way you smile.”
Tears were welling in her eyes, and he wasn’t sure what that meant, so he rushed on before he lost his courage. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, and if it’s too soon for you, that’s okay. I’m a patient man.”
Her tremulous smile finally came. “I love you, too, Michael. How could I not fall in love with a man who is so quick to accept me and overlook circumstances that would make most people walk right on by?”
“Anyone would have helped you.”
She shook her head. “You’re a knight on a white horse to me.” Her hand came up and caressed his face. “I’m so afraid of disappointing you, that you’ll find out I’m not who you think I am.”
“We’ll discover each other’s layers together,” he said. “I look forward to years of finding out more about you every day.”
“You’re too good to be true.” She kissed him, a lingering caress full of promise. “Let’s go back to our room.”
His pulse galloped at the passion in her eyes as he rose and took her hand.
21
GRACIE FLOATED IN A WARM, SAFE PLACE WITH THE FRESHNESS OF A NEW morning enveloping her. From a distance, she heard someone calling her name, but she didn’t want to leave this haven. She drifted in and out of sleep for a few moments before her eyes flew open and she remembered where she was.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Michael said. He leaned on one elbow and looked down at her where she rested in the crook of his other arm.
She smiled up at him. If her heart swelled any more, it would burst from her chest. Her fingers traced the cleft in his chin. “Good morning.What time is it?”
He kissed her fingertips. “Late. Nearly nine. But we have the whole day to do whatever we want.” He wound a lock of her hair around one finger. “We don’t have to get up.”
She snuggled against him. “My stomach is growling loud enough to be mistaken for a mountain lion.”
“I’m ignoring it.” He nuzzled her neck until her stomach complained again. “Fine. I’m getting up.” He threw back the covers and sat up.
“I ne
ed coffee too,” she announced, watching him rise and grab his jeans. “I thought I smelled it.”
He opened the curtains and light streamed into the room. “You did. I got up and made it a few minutes ago when you refused to open your eyes. It’s all ready.” He stepped to the table and poured her a cup.
“A man after my heart. My creamer is in my purse.” She crawled from the covers and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Only a woman would bring her own creamer.” He grabbed her handbag from under the table and handed it to her.
She dug out her plastic sack of hazelnut creamer and handed two packettes to him. She watched him dump them into the cup, then stir the coffee. “I rather like having a maid in the morning.”
Grinning, he handed her the cup. “If that’s what it takes to keep a smile like that on your face, it’s a small price to pay.”
She carried it to the window and looked out. Sunlight dappled the desert plants and rocks, inviting her to come out and play. “I’d like to go rafting on the Rio Grande.”
His arms came around her and he rested his chin on her head. “As long as you promise not to fall overboard.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m so happy, Michael, but what about the future? You’re in danger every day. How am I supposed to live with kissing you good-bye in the mornings and never being sure if you’ll come home?”
He stiffened in her arms. “Gracie, it’s my job.”
“And I’m your wife.You have three kids to raise.What’s more important? The job or your family?”
“Not fair, Gracie, and you know it.”
When he pulled away, she knew she’d gone too far too fast. Men always compartmentalized their lives. Jobs in this box, friends in this one, family in this one.To a woman it was all interconnected. She didn’t know about the men being from Mars thing, but they were sure from some other planet.
“I’m going to take a shower.” He grabbed his clean clothes and walked off to the bathroom.
She sank onto the chair. Now she’d spoiled their perfect day. Michael knew his responsibilities. It wasn’t her job to change his mind about what he thought was important.Would she never learn to keep her mouth shut? She leaned her head into her hands.
Lonestar Homecoming Page 18
