Emily spoke with her face on a yellow pillow. “We probably shouldn’t have done this. But I’m glad we did. You were great.”
Mike picked up his T-shirt and put it back on. “Me too. We can have fun and make some money, too.”
Emily took Mike back to his house and he wondered if Alayna would be there.
Chapter 13
MIKE BACKED INTO HIS apartment and shut the door quietly. He turned around.
“Get that smile off your face.”
He jumped back. Though not unexpected, Alayna’s voice had startled him.
“How do you know that I’m smiling?” he asked, turning on the light.
She yawned and got down from a chair in the kitchen. “Are you jealous of my night vision? Don’t worry, you can have the same. Speaking of which, it’s time to get some knowledge crammed into that pretty little noggin of yours.”
Mike audibly yawned and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”
Alayna looked him up and down several times. “Why don’t you get some rest, and we’ll do this later. You need to be more alert, and you haven’t slept much lately.”
Mike stripped down to his boxers, crashed face down into his smelly mattress and quickly fell into a slumber. Alayna walked into his room, gently shoved a pillow under his head and covered him with a light sheet. She went back out to the kitchen and pulled out a small silver square touchscreen that fit in the palm of her hand.
She tapped her finger against the screen a couple of times, and the strumming sounds of an acoustic guitar filled the air. Alayna swayed her head back and forth to the beginning of Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles.
MIKE WOKE UP AND WENT into his kitchen, forgetting about his perennial guest.
Alayna’s cackling laugh provided a quick reminder. “Watch it with that morning wood you’re sporting there. You’re still at full mast, sailor.”
Mike shifted himself around and held his palms to the air. “Better?”
She shook her head, still giggling. “Now the old, purple mushroom mountain top is poking out of your boxers. It’s alright though. I’ve seen plenty of them in my day.”
Mike tried to tuck his manhood into the band of his boxers. He glanced around for his weed.
Alayna stretched her arms out. “Alright. Time to get you smart. Are you ready?”
Mike kept searching. “I’ll be ready just as soon as I find my medicine.”
“That’s taken care of. The stuff you are about to smoke is much stronger than that schwag you keep buying. All you must do is come with me. I’ll wait while you put on some clothes.”
“Speakin’ of clothes, is that the only dress you got?” Mike chuckled.
Alayna smirked. “At least my dress is clean, which is much more than I can say for your ratty wardrobe. Now get dressed so we can do this.”
Mike slouched his shoulders and stomped into his room. He grabbed some dirty clothes off the ground and put them on his dirty body. A dark green pair of shorts and a banana yellow T-shirt made for a decent pairing despite the heavy wrinkling and fungoid stench.
A few minutes later, Mike trailed Alayna through the densely wooded area behind his apartment as she led him toward his favorite fishing hole. They walked about one hundred yards past the slow spot in the river where Mike spent most of his afternoons.
Alayna sidestepped down a steep, grassy incline to get to the dark, muddy riverbank. Mike charged down the hill after her, churning up chunky divots like a terrible golfer as he went.
“You ready to get wet?” Alayna asked, shielding the sun from her eyes as she looked up at Mike.
He shook his head. “No. I don’t smoke PCP. I didn’t know that was part of the deal.”
Alayna squinted her eyes in thought. “What are you talking about? I mean we have to dive into the river to get to this particular place.”
A smile of relief came over Mike’s face. “Round here we call getting wet smoking PCP.”
Alayna said. “All right. Duly noted. I’m going to leave my high heels here, and I suggest you do the same with your footwear.”
Mike never wore socks so he kicked off his falling apart black Nike Air Force shoes. Alayna dropped her purple dress, and Mike caught himself staring at her perfect miniature figure. The homunculus looked thick in her dress but it was all an illusion, as Mike’s eye’s keyed in on the truth.
“Hey.” She clapped her hands. “Eyes up here, buddy.” Alayna pointed at her chin.
Mike shook away the daze and took his shirt off. He threw the stinky piece of cotton onto his shoes and set his phone on top. Alayna waded into the water, and Mike jumped in after her. She swam out about twenty feet and turned to Mike as she continued to paddle with her cupped hands.
Mike had been swimming in this river since he was a kid so he kicked and breast stroked, which he called the Frog Stroke, out to Alayna. He waded in the water as she played with one of her dark braids.
She told him, “Get ready to hold your breath and go to the bottom.”
Alayna sucked in some precious air and plunged under the still water. Mike tilted his torso at a forty-five-degree angle and used his hands to paddle after Alayna. She sped through the water like a shark with prey in its sights. Mike noticed she had a nasty scar on her back.
Alayna hit the muddy bottom and used her right hand to scratch at the dirt. She swept aside some of the thick brown mud and exposed a golden patch that kept getting bigger as she used both hands to clean it. As she worked, a rectangular door with a small inverted handle on one of the long sides appeared out of the mud.
Alayna gestured with her hand for Mike to come closer. He swam down farther, about to run out of breath. She opened the golden door and pointed for Mike to go through it. He did as he was told and dove into the open door.
He expected all the water to rush in and suffocate him but he fell into darkness. He wheezed to catch his breath and made it to his knees. When he held his arm out, he didn’t feel anything. He stood up and spun around in a complete circle twice before getting dizzy, but still didn’t feel anything.
Mike went to take an unsure step forward when he heard Alayna’s voice. “Mike, where are you?”
He stopped. “Here.”
Faint firelight crept around a corner, and the small woman emerged with her finger aflame. The bright fire purred as Mike took in his surroundings and wondered where Alayna got the purple dress she was wearing.
He noticed an entanglement of tree roots surrounding him and stood on a dirt path that seemed to run through this track of arborous veins. In the distance, Mike could hear a waterfall, but couldn’t detect which direction it was coming from.
Alayna moved around Mike and led him down the narrow path that kept getting narrower. A rounded room with white brick walls, black curtains and two leather recliners sat at the end of the path. Alayna invited Mike to sit down, and he sank into the ultra-comfortable chair.
The ceiling was missing, and the tree roots were exposed. Alayna hopped up onto the other chair and riffled through the cushions. She pulled out an orange pack of rolling papers and kept digging.
“Ah-ha. There you are.” In her hand, she clutched a small plastic baggie with a sparkling object about the size of a normal man’s thumb. She awkwardly tried to hold the bag steady with her flaming hand, and used her other hand to pinch the mesmerizing object with her thumb and forefinger. She held it up for Mike to see.
“What in the sweet world is that?”
She giggled. “This is the bud from the Plant of Knowledge. Pretty, huh?”
Pretty was the understatement of the year. Mike had seen weed that had been smothered in crystals but nothing compared to this. Shades of emerald, ruby, sapphire and amethyst emitted a radiant glow from the bud, and Mike caught himself almost drooling.
Alayna brushed off her the purple material covering her right thigh, set the conical bud down on her leg and started to break it up into smaller pieces. When she’d pulverized about half of the bud, she pulled out a paper f
rom the orange pack. She used her hand like a crane to scoop up the sparkling pile and place it into the long paper.
Alayna used her tiny fingers to roll a perfect joint while still having one of her fingers on fire. Impressive, Mike thought. She put one end of the joint in her mouth, held her flaming finger up to the other end and inhaled. Rainbow-colored smoked shot out of her nose as an enormous smile appeared over her face.
“Oh yeah. That’s the stuff right there.”
She threw the joint onto Mike’s lap and laughed as he squirmed to get it before it burnt him. He secured the joint between his thumb and the middle finger of his right hand. The aromatic hints of cherry blossoms, orange and vanilla filled the domed underground room.
Mike put the joint up to his lips and took two big puffs. The smooth smoke traveled down to his lungs and danced around, waiting for him to release it. He exhaled, and a huge prism-colored cloud shot out of his mouth. Mike took a few breaths and hit the joint again.
“Alright. Let’s see where you are at right now. We won’t even start with real knowledge. How about obvious pop culture? Best band from England—Beatles or Stones?” Alayna asked, tapping the heel of her right foot into the chair.
Mike thought for a moment, and licked his dry lips. “Trick question. Everyone knows the best band from England is Oasis.” He shook his head slowly. “Thought you could get me, huh?”
She laughed. “We’re not quite there yet. Not even close, actually. There’s a certain level we must attain and not go past. Keep puffing, buddy.”
Mike hit the joint about ten more times, and a sudden pain slammed into his cranium like a sledgehammer. It started with his ringing eardrums. They felt like open doors. And somebody kept continuously stuffing rectangular objects into his head. The pain crippled him as he could feel a book pressing against his brain, the written words probing for a soft spot, before finally penetrating.
Mike fell to the ground. Gripped by a seizure, he convulsed uncontrollably for about thirty seconds as his skull bowed out, threatening to crack. More books penetrated his mind. A wave of infiltration started at his medulla oblongata and traveled to his cerebellum before going all the way to his frontal lobe and rounding back to the temporal lobe.
Mike’s brain was being smashed in every direction. His spine tensed, and his body locked in place. Everything went white, and Mike’s head felt heavy. Breathing became difficult, and then it stopped.
Chapter 14
A TINY CHALK-COLORED hand slapped Mike’s flush cheek. The young man slowly regained consciousness and sat up. He didn’t remember the convulsing fits from a few minutes before. His senses felt very awake and more acute.
“Whoa, thought I lost you there for a minute.” Alayna let out a huge exhale. “That would have been a lot of paperwork to fill out. All right, let’s see where you’re at now. How are you?”
Mike answered, “Quite fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Hmm. Sounds like you made some progress. You smoked a lot so you should know what titanium is.”
Mike shifted his eyes around. “Discovered in 1791 by William Gregor. Named after the sons of the Earth goddess of Greek mythology. Atomic number is 22. Has a relative atomic mass of 47.867 and its melting point is 1670 degrees Celsius. Or 1943 degrees Kelvin. Boiling point...”
Alayna shook her finger in the air. “Stop. Stop. That’s way too much knowledge for now. You can’t handle that many thoughts running around. Your head will explode. With the plant of knowledge, you can’t overdo it or it will drive you mad. Once you get to a certain level, then it’s on you to learn more. This won’t make you a genius, but it will bring you up to speed. Let’s get you fixed up.” She reached inside the neckline of her dress and pulled out a green pill. “Here, take this.”
Mike bit his tongue softly to create saliva, took the pill from her hand, and put it in his mouth. He leaned back and took a big gulp. The long, cylindrical pill took a rough ride down his throat, but he forced it into his belly.
Alayna looked over at him, wide eyed. “Wait, no, don’t take that. You didn’t take that, did you?”
An instant sheen of sweat developed on Mike’s forehead as his panic-stricken eyes stared at Alayna. Black blood blisters bubbled up on Mike’s forearm, and his heart skipped several beats. Alayna’s hands disappeared inside her purple dress. Her right hand burrowed down toward her belly button.
“There it is,” she announced and produced an orange pill with a little piece of lint stuck to the side. She flicked away the lavender fuzz and held the pill out in her open palm.
Mike’s hand wavered left and right before he reached out and snatched the pill. He attempted to throw it into his mouth but it hit his upper lip and fell to the dark dirt below. The black boils expanded and threatened to pop, and his breathing became labored.
Mike’s blood felt like it was coagulating and slowed to a crawl. Falling to his knees in a vain attempt to find the tiny object, the light faded and everything became dark. He felt like he was freefalling in the air, wind beating against his wrinkled, rippling face.
Then, all the pain started to flutter away.
Two small fingers and a thumb poked past his lips and teeth. The taste of dirt hit his tongue along with another unidentifiable flavor and woke him up.
He heard Alayna’s voice. “Swallow. Swallow it. Now.”
Mike tried to swallow the dirt mixture but his mouth was too dry. He coughed and gagged, and kept chewing the pill until he almost spat it out. Alayna dove into the tangled mess of roots and wormed her way toward the waterfall. A few seconds later, Mike felt moisture on his lips and opened his mouth wide.
Water rushed in. He closed his mouth, and the saturation helped the pill and soil slide down into his stomach. Immediately, Mike regained his vision, and the swells of black skin contracted and returned to a soft pink flesh color. His heart still raced from the strange experience.
Alayna gave him a few moments to gather his wits. “Tell me about the Emancipation Proclamation.”
Mike smirked, eyes glazed over with a red fire looming behind each glossy shell. “Executive order signed by Abraham Lincoln, who was apparently a Vampire Hunter in his spare time. January 1st, 1863.”
Alayna held her index finger up. “Ding. Ding. Ding. I think that’s right where we need to be for now. You even threw in a pop culture reference. Make’s you sound a bit like an idiot savant, but we can iron that out. How do you feel?”
Mike shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head to the side. “I feel all right now. What was that first pill you gave me?”
She grinned. “Sorry about that. I panicked. I think I might be starting to go color blind.”
“Orange and green aren’t even close. And those pills were different sizes.”
Her grin flipped. “Hey. I saved you, didn’t I? Let’s stop focusing on details. We’ve crossed the first finish line. The real fun starts with your next lesson. At least for me.” She giggled.
Mike’s neck cracked as he tilted it from side to side. “When is the next lesson?”
“Probably tomorrow. So don’t you go and get yourself killed by George. You aren’t ready, and we all need you to succeed. There are bigger problems afoot so we need to get you trained.”
“I can’t wait to learn.”
Alayna stood like an unblinking bronze statue and stared at him. Mike thought she wasn’t breathing until her long eyelashes finally flickered. She cast a gaze of affection on the young man. “You said you can’t wait to learn. Eeek. That is a huge first test to pass.”
Mike scrunched his cheeks up, showing his dimples, and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s no big deal. I think I was always scared that I would get made fun of if I was too smart. Then, after a while, it flipped around so I just gave up. Learning intimidated me. Still does. I don’t want anyone making fun of me.”
“That won’t happen. Let’s get you back home so you can tell that girl, Emily, that you are done with this ludicrous plan. It’s time to focus on you
r duty.” She left the room, and Mike followed her into the darkness.
Mike restarted the conversation as a few twigs crunched beneath his bare feet. “I think I could do both if I wanted. I need money pretty bad, too, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“If you could just make it another week or two and fulfil your training, money will never be an issue again. You just have to hang on a little longer.”
“I’ve been hanging on my whole life waiting for that next big thing. Problem is, it’s never come. I think I might need to take the sure thing.” Mike ducked to avoid an overpass of intertwined roots.
“Mike, an hour ago you were speaking English on a barely comprehensible level. Now you are using the proper tenses and sentence structure. Trust me again. You won’t need to worry about money. Here, right around here.” She used her flaming finger to point around a dark corner.
They came to the door to the river, and Mike got ready to get wet. “What if you can’t cure me? What about that, too? I’m going to need money at some point.”
“I’ve accounted for all of that. You worry too much. That’s a problem intelligent people have by the way. The saying ‘ignorance is bliss’ is a rather potent quotable.” She stopped as she was about to open the door. “I know what it is. It’s the girl.”
Mike blushed and looked the other way.
Alayna shook her head. “I’m right. I warned you about her. You’d better stop whatever is going on right now. She’s been afflicted by the dark spirit world. The best thing you could do is kill her.”
“Fuck you.”
“Ooohhh. We seem to have hit a nerve. Easy, big fella. I’m only a purveyor of the truth. The truth hurts pretty-bad sometimes. She’s been tasked to kill you, and she’s fighting it, Mike. She’s actually doing a rather admirable job, too. But it’s only a matter of time. A ticking time bomb, waiting to go boom.”
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