Her brother pulled her into his arms. “Boys, I think it’s time to find some places to dispose of the bodies.”
“Caress.” Myanna approached. Ravage released Caress, allowing her friend to hug her tight. “It’s going to be okay.”
The other dominants turned to the mutilated bodies and whispered among themselves.
“Your face.” She stared at the long gash on her friend’s cheek, her mind already mixing herbs together to lessen the scar—if there was one.
Tears brimmed in Myanna’s eyes. “Thank you for saving me.”
Caress’s heart ached. “You’re my best friend. No way I’d let some assholes harm you.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “I can’t believe I murdered them and…and…enjoyed their screams. It’s insane how much I liked their deaths.” She shivered, and her brother gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I-I can’t get the images out of my head, the taste of their blood from my mouth.” She opened her eyes, meeting her friend’s gaze as a horrible realization hit home. “I’m a cold-blooded killer now. No amount of healing will ever counter the lives I took. I-I should’ve just incapacitated them, tied them up until Drew got here.”
“Shh. Don’t talk that way. You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. I love you. Drew will understand. You couldn’t wait for them to get here.”
Ravage pulled her around, tucking her to his chest like he used to when she was scared as a child. She sighed. Ravage had killed before. How did he handle it? Sure, she’d broken bones, cracked heads. But that had happened in the ring, where a TKO or opponent’s submission won the fight. On occasion, someone died. But that had been rare—and not by her hand. Tonight was different.
Conflicting emotions between her human and Wolf swirled through her. She clung to her brother. “I’m so sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. Let’s get you home. You need rest,” he told her, carrying her away from his truck.
Caress’s ears rang. She craned her head at the scent of Ford passing by. She stared through the dark to where he kept watch over her, his brows drawn low, his mouth a grim slash. His animal rode high, even though he’d shifted. The intensity of anger surging through him startled her. The Alpha must have let her soon-to-be mate dispose of the bodies.
“Why is he here?” Her voice cracked as he strode off the side of the road and down into the woods. “You could’ve brought Raze. Left me with some dignity instead of having my future mate show up to see me like this.”
“It’s Ford’s night on patrol.”
“I don’t want to see that pity in his eyes.”
Ravage chuckled. “You won’t.”
“What kind of dominant wants a damaged mate who broke an oath to protect life, all life? I should’ve just beaten them senseless. But, I didn’t.”
He shook his head, his strides lengthening. “Those men were not honorable. You are not damaged. Just a bit wounded right now. Ford won’t blame you for protecting pack.”
“What about your car?”
“Ford will take care of it. Right now, you need to be out here in the forest.”
Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe, and she struggled against him. “I can walk.”
“Fine, but you’ll take my shirt.” He set her on her feet, peeled his tee over his head, and dressed her. Like a dutiful child, she shrugged her arms through the holes.
“Thank you.” She took off ahead of him, wrapping her arms around her middle to ward off the cold threatening to freeze her from the inside out.
Ravage matched her stride. “I know this is hard for you.”
“Shut up,” she barked. “You have no idea how I feel.”
He grabbed her arm, jerking her up short and causing a twinge of pain in her injured side. “Our people come first. We wouldn’t have let them live after what they did to Myanna. Those men, who knows how many they’ve raped and killed before? Their intent was clear. I doubt you were their first victim, but you were damn sure their last attempt. You had no choice—”
“There’s always a choice!” She blinked back tears.
“We are Wolf,” he growled. “We protect the pack. You need to reconcile with your Wolf before this eats you up.”
She’d never been at odds with her beast before. But then, she’d never been in a situation like this before. Never killed. She’d lived in the city, so there’d been no need. And the underground fight club had let her Wolf work out its need to test itself in combat.
“No one will find what’s left of the bodies. No one will find the truck.” He pushed past her. “This is over.” In a blink, he shifted and ran off, disappearing into the woods.
Emotions swelled, tightening her throat. Inside her mind, her Wolf howled.
“I’ll get you home.”
She whirled to find Ford standing near a tree, his brows draw down, his lips pressed tight. Mate. She longed to go to him, to let him hold her, but forced her feet to stay still. “W-what about Myanna…the-the rest…?”
“A couple other protectors showed up. They can handle it.” He stepped toward her, and she stepped back. “Drew took the SUV and drove Myanna home. He told me to check on you.”
She hugged herself. Rubbed her arms, but couldn’t get warm. “I-I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” He moved toward her.
“Don’t.” She shuffled away. He can’t want to be near me. Not after I…I….
Turning, she shifted and took off through the woods.
“Caress!” His voice chased her.
She ran, sprinting through the forest, not giving a care about the underbrush slapping her face, her fur. She needed a place to come to terms with what she’d done, to deal. Home.
Chapter Two
“Caress, it’s been seven days, five hours, and thirty seconds. Get up and in the shower.” Myanna stood in her bedroom doorway, refusing to leave her to wallow in peace. “You can’t lie in bed forever. Your garden needs you. The guys de-weeding and picking veggies is a sight to behold.” She flipped on the light switch. “Look at this pigsty. Pizza boxes, cereal bowls with congealed sour milk, water bottles, chocolate wrappers, empty juice containers, and popcorn pieces. Girl, you have to snap out of this.”
Her gritty eyes hurt from the light. All she wanted was to forget what happened on the darkened stretch of road. But who could sleep after becoming a cold-blooded murderess? Not her. The sandman didn’t come, and whenever she did nod off, the attack played out all over again behind her eyelids. She sucked in a breath and pulled the covers over her head. “Go away, Anna. I’m too tired to get up.”
Her bed dipped with the weight of Myanna sitting next to her. “I can’t begin to know how hard this is for you. You are my best friend. I never believed I’d have one, and then your crazy ass moved here.” She shoved Caress’s shoulder. “I need my cray-cray friend back. Besides, you need a shower. You really stink. Just sayin’.”
If only shit were that easy. “I’m not ready. I just want to sit in here where no one can bother me. I can’t face everyone. Can’t face Ford.” Can’t face my Wolf.
Caress sniffed herself under the sheets and grimaced. When did she sweat enough to ooze foul body odor? She popped the cover from over her head and looked at the one person she’d allowed inside her room, aside from Luck in Wolf form. Ford had tried, but, after a while, he’d gotten the hint and stopped, leaving her in peace.
“Well, hello there, friend,” Myanna crooned.
A new scent hit Caress’s nostrils, and she turned toward the door.
Luck padded toward her in Wolf form, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. She scooted over for him to jump on the bed with her then buried her face in his pelt. Pack. Somehow, his Wolf comforted her.
Luck had come, so where was Ford? Yes, she’d sent him away, but if he cared a speck, he would be present, too, fighting tooth and nail to force his way in. Why hadn’t he smashed through her protests and cared for her anyway? Did his absence mean he didn’t want
her anymore? Her Wolf whimpered.
Emotions all over the place, she brushed away a tear. Her lupine half urged her to get up and move forward. The human side of her couldn’t. She found herself unable to merge the two together. Her Wolf nudged her to get cleaned up.
“I’ll take a shower because I can’t stand the smell of me. I’m not leaving this room, though.” A growl rumbled in her mind. She wasn’t in the mood to go outside or to run, no matter what the other part of her demanded, needed.
“Perfect. I will get you clean sheets, a new blanket, and toss all the trash.” Myanna snapped her fingers. “Down, boy.”
Luck chuffed through his muzzle then hopped off the bed to lie in the corner—the only clean spot on the floor.
Caress made her way to the bathroom then twisted the knob to let the water warm. The generator outside kicked on, giving the water heater a boost. Solar cells would be so much quieter. Maybe a windmill on the roof to supplement. She’d mention it to Ravage again. Then she’d tell Raze to go buy what she wanted. He never told her no. Oh God, Raze. What does he think?
While Ravage had left her to deal with her Wolf, Raze had brought her food. Pizza, cookies, ice cream. Never demanded entrance. Never asked to talk. He’d given her space. Showing his support by knocking twice and leaving his gifts outside her door.
She stared at herself in the mirror. The bruises littering her had faded, but dark smudges beneath her eyes from lack of sleep remained. She looked a hot mess. Stripping off the soiled clothing, she stepped into the stall, piping hot water sluicing over her tired body.
Memories of how she’d stumbled onto the porch, exhausted after leaving Ford behind near the scene. Then Adrie had been at her side, helping her inside. She’d bathed her to remove glass and debris from her hair, the caked human blood, the stench of the evil that seemed to shroud her. She’d shivered, allowing the pack’s schoolteacher—and Ravage’s mate—to take care of her. With great gentleness, the woman had tended to her, murmuring words of reassurance as she’d tucked her into bed.
Swallowing a sob stuck in her throat, Caress grabbed her body wash and cloth then scrubbed herself until her skin pinked with a bite of raw. Her knees buckled, refusing to bear her weight, and she sank onto the tile floor. Huddled in the shower stall, she wrapped her arms around her bent knees and laid her head down on them to cry. Physically, she was fine. Yet her reflection in the bathroom mirror had shown evidence of her broken spirit. Angry, confused, her Wolf left her. It had no issue with what happened.
Her brothers hadn’t raised a weakling. They’d brought up a self-sufficient woman who could handle anything the world threw at her. One event had threatened her sanity, shattered her reality, the illusion of safety in numbers, and caused her to question the true value she placed on life.
Facing her pack meant confirming she’d turned murderess, something she couldn’t stomach doing. The skinny guy’s sick words, his threats, his huge friend slicing Myanna…. What had happened wouldn’t just go away.
Her Wolf told her to stop blaming herself. But how could she? Two lives had been ended.
All the times she’d gone to town with the girls, a few times with the guys, since arriving at Los Lobos, there’d never been an issue. But somehow, her need to let loose and have a fun day hanging with her BFF had landed her in the hands of crazies. The need to get off pack land had led her into the fray.
Buck up. Caress braced her palms on the wall as the warm spray turned frigid. Teeth chattering with the blast of cold, she slid up the wall and leaned forward to turn off the water. After wringing out her hair, she grabbed her fluffy towel from the hook and dried off. On the counter, a set of fresh jammies waited for her. Myanna. She pulled them on, brushed her teeth and hair then opened the door. Ford. Her Wolf shifted under her skin, finding comfort in his scent. Let him in.
Her mate stood in her room, his hands tucked in his pockets, but somehow his presence seemed to engulf the half dozen steps between them.
“Morning.” He drank in her appearance. “You look like you’re feeling better.”
“Why are you here?” She backed up as he pressed forward, caging her against the bathroom door.
“I needed to see you.” He enveloped her in his arms. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here this morning when you woke up. I’ve been around, waiting for you to let me in. Luck said you were doing better and ready for company.”
Caress shifted, awkward in his arms while his wonderful smell swirled around her—sharp pine, fresh breeze, mixed with the essence of pure animal. Of all the times she dreamed of hugging Ford, feeling his comforting strength, she’d never imagined this. She didn’t want his pity or his concern. She wanted his Wolf and the man who came with him. “If I’d have known murdering two guys would be the force to drive you to me….”
“You’re not funny.” He tightened his hold, inhaled her scent.
“Really? You’re sniffing me now?” She took offense at his sudden interest in her and shoved him away.
Ford ran a hand over his head and growled. “What do you want me to say? The truth? I hated seeing how scared you were, how nicked up your face was, their scents all over you, the blood…. I couldn’t take away your fear or make the situation better. No one could. We all had to wait. Your brothers are crazy worried.”
“They’ll survive,” she quipped, though her heart went to them.
Ford clenched his fists and slammed one into the wall, leaving a hole in the drywall.
“Ford!”
“I can’t stand this,” he growled. He rounded on her, his Wolf glowing in his eyes. “I wasn’t there to protect you.”
She frowned. “How the hell could you have known?”
He shook his head and stalked toward her, his canines extending. “I should’ve been there. Because I wasn’t, you were forced to kill. It should’ve been me ripping those bastards apart.”
“But it wasn’t.”
He cringed. The harsh truth of her words sent reality rattling through her yet again. She hugged herself.
He paced back and forth at the foot of her bed. Each time he turned toward her, anguish flashed in his eyes. On the fifth pass, he stopped. “Fuck, Caress. If I had claimed you months ago, our bond would’ve given me the urge to find you before anything happened. So, yeah, I’m sniffing you, getting a feel for your true emotions. You keep shit so locked up, I have to feel your Wolf to get a good read. She won’t lie or hide from me like you do.”
“I’ve been in my room for a week, Ford. I’ve barely slept.”
“I was near. Getting secondhand reports from Myanna. Checking on you through the window. Watching you sleep until I had to report to the Alpha. I left my trust in Luck to keep an eye on you in my absence.” He shrugged but not in apology. “You refused to let me be with you. I stayed close enough to appease my Wolf but a few steps away to avoid causing you distress. I should’ve been here more, enough so you’d see my face, feel my presence. I never wanted you to think I’d abandoned you.”
She threw her hands up. “Gah! It’s whatever. Unless you’re saying our age difference no longer matters, nothing has changed. You’ve made your stance on my immaturity crystal clear.”
Only twenty-nine, he’d managed to avoid settling down. He thought her too young. For Caress, however, their nine-year age difference was sexy as hell.
“I just want to climb into bed and sleep for a few more days until I forget what happened…or at least find a way to deal.” She brushed past him, ripped off the blanket, jumped under the sheets, and pulled the covering over her.
The door didn’t open and close. The man hadn’t moved an inch from his spot.
“Why are you still here?” She huffed in exasperation. “You can leave. I’m fine.” Lies tripped off her tongue with ease. The need to make him believe overshadowed her common sense.
The bed dipped, and, with it, the unwelcome male slid next to her. She planted her feet on his toned flesh and shoved hard, knocking
him off the firm mattress and onto the floor. He landed with a grunt—the first thing to bring a smile to her face.
“I’m staying. The rest of the security team will cover for me until I’m ready to return. I had other business matters to attend to off land that couldn’t be handed to anyone else or delayed.” Stubborn and a true dominant, he clambered onto the bed, this time using his body to block her arms and legs to avoid damage.
Caress ignored her smiling Wolf that longed to lean over and snuggle with him, to inhale his scent. With gritted teeth, she batted his strong arms off her. “Fine you can lie behind me, but no touching.” Liar. You’re dying for him to touch you. Just on your terms. Her Wolf smirked at her.
Ford grunted but halfway complied as he lifted his leg off hers and tucked his body against her. His arm remained wrapped right underneath her bosom, tucking her back flush to his chest.
“So, I guess you changed your mind, then.” Behind her, his heartbeat bounded against her.
Damn, his masculine scent enveloped her. Her Wolf wanted to roll with him.
“Still too young, but things are as they are.” He pressed a kiss to her head.
Her Wolf wanted to rub against him, cover herself in his scent. But Caress wasn’t ready yet. Well, she’d been ready since she first set eyes on him six months ago, but she couldn’t give herself over until she dealt with her emotions and came to terms with her Wolf. “Maybe you’re right. I should mate with Luck. I mean, he is closer to my age and a good friend who has been here since day one.”
“The fuck you say. The boy knows his place.”
She fought not to grin. “Jealousy becomes you.”
Ford snorted.
Chapter Three
Caress woke with a start, her body tangled within Ford’s lean limbs, her face glued to the curve of his neck, one hand trapped under his arm, the other planted against his washboard abs. Her Wolf sighed in contentment.
“Look who’s finally awake.”
Promiscuous Wolf Page 2
