“Dear God.” Cain pressed his fingers in his eyes. “Dear God. Dear God!” His hands were shaking. “Where did this darkness come from? How could so much change in so little time? This is not what I chose.”
But it is.
“What should I do? How can something so all-consuming be stopped?”
Was it not you who chose to introduce murder into the world? Is anything else more urgent? Swim on. Swim on!
Cain dove upstream as he fought the terrible sensation of duality. Part of him was repulsed, though the rest lusted for what he saw, and that sickened him all the more. He shivered and suppressed the frightening sensations the Abomination had awoken in him through the unholy coupling.
The chaos grew, and he came to a fork in the river. On the path bending right lay details of the future, but on the path bending left lay shards of the past in a great glassy bay. He realized that this was the point the Abomination had kept him from, and he plunged down the path bending left. In the storm’s place came a distant rumbling. He turned and saw the stream devoured by black clouds.
Does my presence affect the stream?
Cain blinked as new knowledge resonated through him like a clear note piercing flesh and soul. The knowledge I gather here informs my decisions, and I am the tipping point, the crux upon which the world has been balanced, so tenuously that one decision might shatter it.
The new river was so clear that he could see his toes, and the visions that presented themselves were familiar. After he traveled a distance, they were all either of him leading his family through the wilderness, or of Calebna and …
He paused, confused. There, with Calebna, were two whom he recognized.
Seth and Ayla?
They were talking with Calebna. And he saw them walking the City of the Almighty while Calebna, drenched in oil, stacked endless items on the altar in the Temple, next to which still lay the shriveled remnants of his rejected offering to the Almighty.
The vision altered again, and he realized he was watching Time unfold in reverse. He shifted to compensate and made his way forward until an image caught his eye. He backtracked until the vision unfolded itself. He saw a closed tomb, but the top shifted, then flew off, and Seth crawled out.
“Impossible …” Cain watched the vision as Seth opened the Almighty’s casket, which was empty, and helped Ayla out of hers. They embraced each other and Ayla wept.
Cain shook his head. “It cannot be.”
But it was motionless Truth. He stopped the vision on the Almighty’s empty tomb and swallowed to banish the fear from his throat.
They’re alive. How are they alive? And what about the Man?
The Man is alive.
“But I killed him.”
Did you? What of the empty tomb?
“The Light Bringer even claimed I killed him, and why would my family bury the Man if they didn’t have proof he was dead?”
Fool! Does a truth disappear because you close your eyes? You thought yourself God, and so you thought yourself unmatchable, but if you had opened your eyes, you would have struggled. And it could not chance you doing that. What explanation do you have for an empty sealed tomb? None!
“But how could I ever rid myself of the Abomination? I don’t even know what it is or how it came to be.”
There was a bend farther down the river that led to the great bay. The distant rumblings of the storm lay so far behind that he could barely make them out amidst the deafening silence. His mouth hung as thoughts fell into place. “How the Abomination came to be …”
51
Cain rewatched the vision of himself play in sputtering clips. He was standing on the top of a hill, overlooking the fields where Abel stood silhouetted against the twilight of storm. He still tasted the emotions and thoughts that peppered his brain as he walked into the valley and argued with Abel. As they fought, he felt the rock and smelled the bitter thickness of Abel’s crushed head as if it were truly happening that very moment.
He rushed the vision ahead and watched as he bent and lurched under nausea. But as he stared at his mouth, waiting for vomit to spew, his jaw stretched and instead of vomit, a pale child gushed onto the ground, webbed with womb netting. The child tore and bit at the goo until it could take in a few gasping breaths. It latched onto him and whispered in his ear.
Cain’s mind claimed that it could not be, but here he saw that it was.
Abomination. Silver boy. Son of Satan and … of Cain. Now he knew the reason for the unmistakable familiarity between himself and the Light Bringer. He understood everything.
“I birthed that monster.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I birthed it, and now—through me, curse it all!—it will pervert my unborn child into something else. Something evil. Something deserving only death and damnation.” Something like me, his mind finished. I could justify damnation for the sake of my progeny’s salvation, but to curse my lineage for such a fate … Cain knelt. “Almighty God, if you exist, if you truly live, then help me. Free me from this Abomination.”
The tears on his cheeks were not of sorrow, but of fear. He feared himself. He feared what he had become, as Adam had rightfully feared him. He feared the pale thirst, and what he knew he could do, even without the child of Sin inside him.
Capable of every abomination I saw in those visions.
He stood as a sudden thought struck him like nails in the wrists. Begun through death and ended through death. Blood for blood and fruit for fruit. It truly did seem fitting.
Law 1: Humans are incapable of owning satisfaction. Law 2: Indulgence only feeds the mortal desires it claims to quench. Law 3: A spirit possessing a human body cannot escape Laws 1 and 2.
The Abomination had listened to the Light Bringer’s words in the underground City, but only now realized their full weight. The first several weeks of possession had been exhilarating. To feel the physical world in so many dimensions—to taste the blood, feel the consummation, and revel in the pleasure—the Abomination had been drunk. Even now, still shy of the true depth of the fall, it could hardly hold itself back from killing again. Animals just didn’t offer the satisfaction.
And Sarah …
“The time is not yet right,” the Abomination said through Cain. “She still carries my future in her womb.”
The Abomination smiled, feeling the pleasure only the son of the Devil could by using another’s voice. It felt even more pleasure knowing the body it possessed belonged to the very soul who had birthed it.
My father, the Light Bringer, and Cain—that whore of whores—my mother.
A cruel chuckle escaped from Cain’s throat, broken at the end by violent rage. Momentary sanity came in waves, followed by the fiercest upsurges of ire.
I need a second host. Another body. Lukian. The Abomination laughed again, a long, cold cackling that echoed through the Garden. It was certain Cain had no inkling of what it planned with Lukian, and thought it a shame that it couldn’t rely on one host, though pitting the two against each other would reap even greater joy.
To drink another’s blood and simultaneously gain praise. What could be better?
It waved its hands and offered no more than a glance toward the receding thorns and bobbing globes. Their lids popped and glowed as the Abomination passed by in Cain’s skin. “Dim your lamps.”
The eyes obeyed and the vines slid into place behind it.
“This body is tired and fogs my mind.” The Abomination entered the chamber of the Tree of Life, pulled itself out of Cain’s body, and rode the wind through the leaves to find Lukian, son of Cain.
52
The vines opened and Sarah was already half turned when Cain slumped to the ground. She called his name, but he did not respond. “Are you all right?” She held her belly with a wary hand. Flowers buffeted her calves as she stepped near and caught a glimpse of his back as it rose and fell.
She knelt beside him. He lay facedown, his body crumpled awkwardly. She nudged him and whispered his name. She worked her fingers
under him and heaved him onto his back. His right arm remained twisted underneath, but after a few moments of struggle, she slipped that out as well.
Sarah sat beside Cain and hugged her knees. In the mixture of silver and green light his face looked sickly pale, but its shape held a regality that could not be missed. His dark lips, full enough to balance their length, looked strangely beautiful.
But what those lips have touched.
She looked at the fruit hanging around them and stifled repulsion. How could he enjoy the taste of blood? She had smelled it on his breath and saw the thick redness of it.
He has dipped into darkness so deep it stained his skin.
She nearly reached out to trace the marks lining his arms and neck.
Why am I attracted to what repulses me?
“I miss you,” she whispered, and nodded as if to convince herself that was the only reason. “If you truly can make everything how it was …”
His eyes fluttered open and searched hers, and though her first instinct was to flee, something froze her muscles. “Is it you?” Sarah said.
Cain’s eyes, devoid of silver, zeroed in on the swelling wounds on her face. He laid his head back and breathed through flared nostrils.
Her fear dissolved, and in its place came urgency. “What is it?”
He sat up and again she thought to flee, but she knew the monster was gone, and for the first time she could see the reason she followed him to this grove.
I stay to help the man I love rid himself of the monster I hate. The vows we made, the life we shared, the pain we felt—it was not all for naught.
He slid his warm hands over her shoulders. “Sarah, you must listen to me, and you must remember.”
Her eyes were sealed to savor his touch as she pressed a shaking hand against his cheek. “I know already.”
He squeezed her shoulders until she felt pain. “Tell me you’re listening. Promise to remember.”
“I promise you my life.”
“Do you love me?”
“How could you ask that?”
He shook her hard. “Do you love me?” His voice was edged with fear and passion, a quality altogether different from the sharpness of anger.
“Yes!” she said.
“Then kill me.”
Her face contorted. “How could I?”
“How could you not?”
“I’d rather die.”
“Stop trying to save me.”
“I can’t lose you. Not now. Not after you took so many away from me. What do I have left? Do not sentence me to such loneliness.”
He paused. “I was never yours.”
“Stop lying.” She wanted to embrace and be embraced by him. Amidst the hate, scars, and fresh wounds, she loved him now more than ever before. The desperation for his affection, for his mere countenance, had grown without her knowing like vines through her ruined soul, and it toppled her. “No,” she whispered, and then she shouted, “I won’t kill you.”
Cain slapped her, and she held her cheek, remembering moments not so long passed and feeling fresh bruises throb.
“If you knew what I know, you would break a thorn and thrust it into my chest.”
“Then tell me what you know.”
“The world will shatter if you fail. They are coming. The bane of our race—soulless half-breeds born from human wombs. The Jinn were a mere dabbling in the craft. But through me Death has been perfected. They found a way to touch the children, to pervert them into something else. There were barriers before that kept them away but—”
“Who? Kept who away?”
“Kill me. Before it returns!”
“There must be another way.”
He slapped her again, and the crack of it echoed. “There was never another way.”
She couldn’t make sense of his words, nor could she stifle her tears.
Cain looked at her and all the hardness melted. His fingers poised as if to take back the wounds. His mouth hung and his eyes shone in the light of the Garden, and her soul quickened. But as quickly as he turned, the transparency muddled.
He strode to the Tree of Life and grabbed hold of the hanging branches. They were strong, yet pliable. He pulled himself up one and, with legs crossed around the branch he hung on, twisted another branch around itself and knotted the loop. “Someday I hope you will understand. I pray to God that you do.” He swallowed. “Just remember …” He paused, closed his eyes, and pulled the knotted loop around his neck.
What? Sarah thought. Tell me, you fool!
He was suspended, hanging from the Tree of Life, and holding back words they both knew he should speak. He fell. His neck twisted, strained by the weight of his body. His feet swept through the flowers, but did not touch ground. His face reddened and his body convulsed.
She scrambled up, wrapped her arms around his waist, and lifted. She thought of Lilleth lying on the floor of her house, the maw in her throat gushing blood. Now Cain was killing himself too.
“Tell me,” she screamed as she tried to lift him out of the knot. “I know what you were going to say.”
He kicked her away and she fell. Everything was a distortion through rough waters. “I wish you never loved me.” She moaned. “I wish you never had.”
Lukian felt the tug at his hand and hardly began turning before he was jerked into the brush. He nearly yelled, but delicate fingers covered his mouth. He looked up at silver eyes surrounded by pale skin.
“I have had patience.”
Lukian frowned and, as the boy’s fingers slipped away from his mouth, he said, “What have I done?”
“You’ve listened poorly, brother.”
“I’ve done what you said.”
“Eat the fruit.”
The boy lifted the fruit and pressed it against his face, but he turned away. “Why?”
Its fist pounded Lukian’s head, and he saw stars and cried out, only to receive its cold fingers on his mouth again. “Eat it.”
“No.” Lukian made to sit up and leave, but those little hands held him down with unnatural strength. A strange stirring in his abdomen chilled his breath and spun his mind. “Why are you doing this?”
“Eat it!”
It stuck its fingers between his teeth and wrenched his jaw open, then jammed the fruit against his teeth until the juice leaked down his throat. Lukian coughed and spat, but it continued shoving the fruit down his throat, and he choked and convulsed.
“Eat!” Its voice was altogether too large, and it rumbled and shook the ground.
Lukian clawed at his throat and then its arm. His eyesight blackened and flashed at once, and he convulsed and vomited the fruit up. He coughed and held his throat, feeling as though it had kicked him there.
The boy twisted and stared into the thicket. Its eyes were strangely focused, as if it could see through the hedge. It screamed. The sound rose to a pitch higher than he thought possible, and he stopped his ears and closed his eyes until its voice sharpened to a point so high it disappeared.
When Lukian opened his eyes, it was nowhere … and blood was everywhere.
53
Cain felt his eyes would burst. His mind claimed that at this very moment he was hanging by his throat from the Tree of Life to die, but the irony was distant behind the blackness of closed eyes and pain. Pain that overwhelmed at first, and yet rapidly dulled.
Forgive me. Please, forgive me. I wish I would never have done what I did. I wish I could take back my actions. But these realizations have come far too late.
The washing heartbeat no longer sounded in his ears, and Sarah’s weeping had disappeared. There was no more pain, no more sensation except that of vague emptiness. He shifted, opened his mouth, and yelled. The sound echoed endlessly.
Is this what death feels like?
He felt his body with numb fingers and sensed himself floating, though upon straining his eyes found nothing to see.
“You think I would let you kill yourself?” The Abomination’s voice echoed thro
ugh the darkness and throbbed with fury.
So, he thought, and the action of thinking it was like salting a wound, the Abomination has pushed me back into the void.
Cain closed his eyes to test the fact, and the layers arose as he expected. He sifted through the sheets of reality slowly, methodically peeking through them to see what lay smashed between.
I don’t even have the power to kill myself. How great a failure can one be?
You should not be surprised.
But why should I not think on these facts? The Abomination will live on through me to pervert mankind, and violence and sin will spread until it overwhelms the world. Sarah will be crushed between the Abomination’s jaws while I float in embryonic darkness, only to be born again into a world unrecognizable. A world filled with demons in human skin. A world I no longer have the power to change.
There is still a way.
There was never a way. Never any chance of success. I knew it the moment I murdered my brother. My bones shook with that one truth, but with all of Time coursing through my veins, I blinded myself to the most basic of truths. For what is the future but a present to come? And I built my future on an Abomination. How could it become anything less? I should have listened to the Almighty.
What stays you from listening now? Do you not remember the Man’s promise?
He stared into the abyss at the bottom of the layers, and part of him wondered, Could the abyss be the escape my soul desires? Is this what the Man meant when he said there would always be a way?
What else could he have meant? The only other choice was between death and the Abomination.
I should have chosen death.
Perhaps. But you could choose this now.
What will happen to me upon jumping into the darkness?
What else might you lose but pain itself?
He paused at the brink, wondering if he could see Sarah again. More than anything, he wanted to hold her, to slip his fingers between hers, to kiss her, and to smell her hair.
Cain: The Story of the First Murder and the Birth of an Unstoppable Evil Page 24
