by Imogen Sera
"Ayelet could use help out here," says Az, "and you were talking about wishing you were outside more, so if you're interested in helping, you could--"
"I'd love to!" And I really would. Something to work on that makes me feel like I'm doing more than just existing? It's perfect. "But I do feel like I should warn you that I've killed every houseplant I've ever had. Not intentionally, of course..."
Az laughs and kisses the top of my head, and Ayelet just grins. "I'm not very good at this, either," she says, gesturing to the perfectly shaped, perfectly vibrant flowers. "We'll learn together!"
"Ayelet," says Az, his voice low and serious suddenly, "you know what we discussed."
She rolls her eyes and pulls at my hand until I'm next to her. "Relax, Az, I know."
He gives me one last look that makes me want to climb on him, and then spreads his wings and heads back toward the castle.
"Can I ask what you discussed?" I ask, later, after I have gloves on and am wrist deep in soil.
"Oh, you know," says Ayelet with her easy smile, "I just have to murder anyone who comes near you."
I frown at that.
"Don't worry about it," she says. "I'm really good at killing. I just like planting things more."
Ayelet talks easily and listens well, which makes the morning pass quickly. She's really easy to like, and she seems eager to like me, which surprises me. I have Az here, of course, but aside from Nox who is uncomfortably flirtatious and Ronan who always seems vaguely annoyed by my presence, there's no one that I've actually met.
Chapter 19
Eve
I see Ayelet almost every day now, and it's something I begin to look forward to quickly. It's nice to see the progress we've made in planting, and it's nice to have someone that's actually a friend. I can tell her anything, and she's great at making me laugh at myself.
I'm vaguely intimidated by how ridiculously gorgeous she is at first, but that fades quickly. It's just that she's so pretty, and most of the women here are, and sometimes it's hard to understand why Az desires me so much. My mom used to tell me that my face was interesting, and when that's the nicest thing that your own mother can say about your face, you know that there's nothing good happening there.
But if I'm honest with myself, this is the first time I've felt self-conscious the entire time I've been here. I don't know what Az sees when he looks at me, but it doesn't feel like he sees someone who should really probably lose about thirty pounds and is bad at taking care of herself. He just really likes me, and it feels really good, and I feel the same way about him.
I just still don't understand why.
It's so easy between us that I'm kind of suspicious of it. First of all, there's the obvious being wildly attracted to each other to the point that it's clearly unnatural. Second, nothing good ever lasts. It just doesn't. Maybe in other people's lives, but not mine.
So I kind of spend my days waiting for Az to wake up and wonder what the hell he's doing with me. Magic or hormones or whatever the fuck pushed us together can't last forever. And it sucks, because he's wonderful and he's kind of a dick to other people but he's insanely sweet and gentle with me. I could really get used to this. No, I am getting used to this, and the thought of it ending is beginning to scare me.
Which is why my heart sinks when he comes out to the garden much earlier than usual one day, and he announces that they've potentially figured out how to get me home. He doesn't look happy about it, at least.
"Hi," I say, pulling his face down to mine and kissing his chin and his cheeks and his forehead. I just want to touch him everywhere, all the time.
He wraps his arms around me, but I can feel the tension in him, so I say goodbye to Ayelet and lean my head against his arm as we walk back to the castle together. I feel a little guilty for enjoying his misery right now, but it's nice to have confirmation that he wants me here.
I coax him into bed with me when we get back to the room, and he rolls onto his back and pulls me onto his chest.
"I should tell you what Nox learned," he says.
I press my cheek against his chest. "You shouldn't."
"No?"
"I was thinking," I say, folding my hands under my chin and looking up at him. "What would you say if I didn't want to go? I want to stay with you."
He looks at me for a minute while he presses me more tightly into his chest. "Finally," he says, moving his hands to cup my face. "I've told you all along that you're mine."
"I know. I just feel weird about things. This attraction between us isn't natural, and I'm afraid it's going to disappear suddenly and you'll wonder what it was all about in the first place and in the end I won't have you anymore." It all comes out in a rush, a jumbled confession of everything I've been worried about since I got here.
He sits up all at once, holding me to him and repositioning until he's sitting and I'm on his lap. It's the best position for talking to him, because he's so tall that sometimes it's hard to see his face, but when we're like this, we're almost face to face.
"First of all," he says, meeting my gaze and looking so devastatingly perfect that I want to cry, "You will never not have me. I'm yours, Eve. I thought you knew that."
I nod once but my chin quivers. He's so perfect, which just makes it harder that of course this won't go on forever. "But you even said you don't know why you wanted me so much, and it could just end at any time, and--"
"Want," he interrupts me. "I want you. Nothing is past tense. And I think you're confused on a few points. That initial attraction--whatever it was--is already over."
"No it's not," I say. "I want to be near you all the time. I want to climb inside your skin and live there." I pause. "Which I mean in a less gross way than how it came out."
"I'm glad to hear it," he says. "But you're wrong."
I frown at him. "You said you couldn't concentrate today because of me."
He grins at me and leans down for a kiss. I kiss him, but I'm still frowning, because I'm confused. We're both obviously still being affected, because we can't stand not to touch for more than like five minutes and I can't think of anything but him and I don't understand why he thinks that's not the case.
"It's hard to concentrate on anything but you," he says. "You're on my mind constantly. But it's not like it was when you got here."
"What do you mean?"
He kisses the tip of my nose and traces a claw gently down the side of my neck. "I mean that for the first two days you were here, I couldn't do anything apart from imagine fucking you. I almost murdered Nox for even suggesting that you leave my side. I couldn't think rationally and the only thought I had for two entire days was that you were mine."
"But it's still like that. We have sex all the time and it sucks when we're apart and you literally just told me that I'm yours."
"Is it?" he asks. "I like fucking you because you're fun and you're gorgeous and I enjoy pleasing you. I don't like to leave you because I miss you, but I'm not in danger of accidentally killing my best friend because of it. And you are mine, but I don't feel like I need to possess you like I did then. I just need you to know it."
"But I'm so obsessed with you..." I trail off.
"Have you considered that maybe there's no magic necessary, and maybe you just like me?"
I feel kind of stupid but mostly really happy as I wrap my arms around his neck. "I like you so much," I say, and it's mostly muffled by his jaw.
"I like you so much," he says. "I'm in love with you, Eve."
For a normal girl, sobbing probably isn't the appropriate response. But I've been so worked up over this and I'm so freaking relieved to hear him say that he loves me that I just can't control myself, and I blubber into his chest while he runs his hands over my back and kisses my tears.
Chapter 20
Az'ralon
Everything is easy with Eve. She usually wakes late in the morning, and I'm almost always there for that. We eat our morning meal together in a private dining room, and then s
he practices tying different dress knots before I practice untying them and touching her everywhere. And then she goes out to the garden, where Ayelet waits for her. Eve likes digging in the dirt with Ayelet. It pleases me, because she's close enough that I can check in on her frequently but in an open enough space that she hasn't yet noticed the half dozen guards who are always watching her. At least, I think she hasn't noticed. I'm pretty sure she would yell at me if she had.
I eat in the council chambers or, more frequently, wherever Nox and I have traveled to for the day. Eve eats outside in the garden with the sun's rays on her, where she should always be.
Whenever I have a spare second, I find her and kiss her and lift her against me. When I have more than a second, I take her away to somewhere quiet, and I tell her how much I missed her with my fingers or my mouth or my body.
And then she's back on her own, either in the garden again or holed up in the castle's library. The evenings seem to drag on forever, and I know it's because I look forward to nights like I never have. But when the long afternoon is finally over, and I'm finally finished for the day with our endless search for information, I scoop Eve up and bring her to dinner.
Dinners are a public affair, designed so that any resident of Poremi can join us. It began as a way to feed the poor but has transformed into something much more than that. It's a time when requests are made and friendships are formed and I can be just a little less...formidable.
Eve sits on my lap for dinner. It's not unusual here, but maybe it is for her, because she protested several times before finally relenting. She said it was alright because most of the paired around the room do it, but I think it's because she likes touching me as much as I like touching her.
Fuck, do I like touching her. At dinner, I feed her morsels with my fingers, which she finally accepted after two weeks of attempts. But she does it in her own, stubborn way: with wide eyes and her lips closing over my fingers and a tiny moan of appreciation. I know she does it to torment me, but torment has never felt so sweet.
So dinner naturally flows into our bedroom, where I peel everything off of her and kiss her everywhere and hold her little hands above her head while she giggles in delight under me.
And she loves it. She holds me close to her afterward, with her hands in my hair and her legs wound through mine and her pulse thundering in her neck, begging for my fangs.
It's hard to resist marking her, and half the time I don't know why I haven't already. But I don't know the Council's end game, and they might try to take her still. If she's marked as mine, our separation would be as painful for her as it would for me. So I do nothing until I know more.
We know so very little already. The peace between our races is precarious, and the more time that passes without knowing anything new regarding the Council of Seven, the more I allow myself to imagine that Eve is just a gift. Given freely with no ulterior motives.
But then I remember what they did to Nox, and I know that that's not possible.
He met with the leader of the council--or rather, he was supposed to. He was ambushed and badly beaten before he could return, and I know the only reason that he wasn't killed is because he wasn't supposed to be. It was a warning.
Although it's almost better to know that they are our enemies and can be treated as such. There is no more pretending that we need to maintain good relations. It also means that there is little chance they can harm our world, or they would have done it already.
Which means that Eve can go home. I'm so relieved that she doesn't want to.
We're in a strange period of just existing. My bones ache to do something already, to tear heads off until the situation is resolved. But that so rarely resolves anything, and when it comes to my Eve's safety, it's impossible to be too restrained.
So I lay with her until she's asleep, and then I'm back to chasing leads and making plans with Nox. I return to Eve in the early morning, sometimes just watching her sleep and absorbing the feel of her skin against mine, but sometimes waking her frantically and watching her ride me with no inhibitions in her half-asleep state.
And then the days repeat, over and over and over again. They're the best days I've ever had and they're the most anxious days I've ever had, and we're just waiting and waiting for anything to happen.
It's early morning, three weeks after Eve's arrival, when a sharp knock on the door rouses me from the relaxed state I constantly find myself in in Eve's presence. She's asleep with her head on my bicep, facing me, her little breaths blowing across my chest and her quiet little noises making me want to live in the moment forever. Her leg is sandwiched between mine, and her hand is closed softly around my tail.
When I was sure that I couldn't possibly like her more, she started reaching for my tail while she slept. She always has to prove me wrong.
I untangle her limbs from mine gently, and when her head's on the pillow and her hand is empty, I cover her to her chin with the blanket. I'd thought that fucking her was the best thing that I could ever do with her, but as it turns out, taking care of her is somehow more satisfying.
Ronan is glowering at me in his usual way, and I move into the hallway before he can wake Eve. She seems uncomfortable around him still, which is probably my fault for not preparing her for the sight of him.
"There's something you need to see," is all he says, before he turns and strides away from me.
I follow behind him, mildly curious but more bothered at leaving Eve. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but she'll probably wake before I'm back, and I like being the first thing she sees in the morning.
I follow Ronan outside and past the courtyard, then past the garden that looks empty without a strawberry colored head glinting in the sun. We get to the cliffs and he nods down to the beach wordlessly; I fly down before I can see his flesh burn into the ashes of the smoke that he'll become.
It's not as bad in reverse, I think, as his ribs form again, and his muscles and skin grow anew. It's the melting that's so strange, although it's never bothered me before.
Because of Eve. I know it instinctually before I even think about it. Because Ronan's human form is purely human, and seeing a human body consumed by embers is rattling when there's a warm little human body that's more precious to me than anything in the world back in my bed. My mind wanders back to our room, and the little noise of protest that she made when I moved her off of my arm, and I hardly even notice what Ronan brought me here to show me.
I should probably be paying attention, because there's a dozen guards along with Nox all surrounding and looking at...something. I step closer, my heart thundering in my chest. Whatever this is, it's sent by the Council, and if it's here for my Eve, I'll destroy it right now.
The men move out of my way, and I see a half drowned human woman sitting on the sand. Her dark hair is dripping around her shoulders, and she's glaring at Nox with more venom than I've ever seen.
"Where's my sister?" she hisses. "She was right next to me, and now she's gone. What did you fucking monsters do with her?"
She crossed here so easily, like it was nothing, and she's so sure of her power over us that she's making demands while she's surrounded by the most fearsome of my guards.
I turn to Orgren, who's served me for decades and able to travel short distances without moving. "Check on Eve. Now. Stay there until I'm back."
The girl's eyes widen. "Eve?" she says. "I'm looking for Eve. Please let me see Eve."
I'm going to tear this girl apart.
Chapter 21
Eve
I wake up and Az isn't there. He usually is, but it's not the first time he's been gone, so I don't think much of it. He finds me while I'm eating breakfast, sitting alone at the massive table that nearly fifty people sit around every evening. Az crushes me against him so hard that I can barely breathe. He won't tell me where he was or what he was doing, but he's beside me all day, even making me come into the council chambers with him while he and Nox talk in tones so low I can't hear what t
hey're saying.
And then Ronan comes in, and I move away from the group, down the long table until I'm a dozen feet away from them. I'm only slightly embarrassed that he terrifies me. I mean, the first time I saw him he was basically something out of a horror movie, and he hasn't even been polite since then.
So it's fine to move down the table and read my book there. I don't have to listen to Az's harsh tones or Nox's irritating laugh or smell the faint smell of smoked meat that clings to Ronan. I can even mostly ignore the fact that Ronan is ranting about some prisoner.
I'm kind of cranky. I don't like not knowing what's going on, and Az has never tried to hide anything from me before. I didn't really know what he was talking about most of the time when I first got here, but he's never been anything but honest.
It's cemented in my head later that night when I ask him about what he learned today and he just grunts a response.
He isn't telling me something. It's probably more obvious than he thinks it is, but he's really not a great liar. Probably because he never has a reason to lie; he just says what he thinks and everyone jumps to please him.
But he's lying to me, and it's bothering me. He keeps trailing off when he's telling me about what's being done, and distracting me from further questions by moving his mouth down my body. And yes, it's a very good distraction. But I can't help but be annoyed later, after he presses kisses against my quivering thighs and pulls me against his chest and runs his hands all over my back.
"I know you're not telling me something," I say, with my cheek pressed against his chest. "What are you not telling me?"
His hands stop moving on my back and he stiffens beneath me.
"Do you not trust me?" I ask. It's kind of a low blow, but something just isn't sitting right.
"You know I do," he says. "If I'm not telling you something, it's for your own safety."
I sigh. "I'm not stupid, Az."
