Bittersweet Symphony

by J. L. Beck

  Shock, and then anger morphed onto Chelsea’s face.

  “He will never date you… Look at you.” She all but spat the words on Kennedy. It is as if she is referring to her as below her, and I am about to lose it. My protective instincts gearing up. Mimi must have been able to tell because she stepped in silencing everyone.

  “Well he is. Now, I can draw you a map showing you where the local trash is, or you can take yourself there.” From Mimi’s stance alone I know she will open a can of whoop ass on her.

  Chelsea looks as if she is going to say something that slammed her mouth shut. Her eyes turning to slits as she eyed us all.

  “Whatever…” and just like that she is off walking among the crowds again.

  “Good thing you got Kennedy now, if I have to sit through one more group day where you brought her along or any other one of your sluts I probably will have started ripping my hair out.” Mimi said dramatically.

  Kennedy’s eyes grew big. We haven’t really talked about how much sleeping around I have done. Even though every time is protected it doesn’t really soften the blow when it came to the fact that my dick has probably been in at least half the girls mouths on campus and inside at least one fourth of them.

  “Oh you didn’t know Ryder puts the “whore” in “manwhore”” Mimi is kind of starting to piss me off.

  “I knew he was a whore… Didn’t really change my opinion on him. We all have ways of coping.” She sent me a smile. One that is fanning at the flames deep within me. If I can just get her alone…

  Then all those nice feeling flew out the window. I heard his voice before I seen his smug ass. The crowd parted for him as if he is the king. The need to beat his ass is so strong I have to actually breathe through the anger. Kennedy stood in front of me looking as if she is going to try and protect me. But from what?

  “Nice to see you here.” His words came out like a slithering snakes tongue. I wanted to lunge at him, and have my girl not been in front of me I would’ve. The way he looks at her, have me wanting to take a shower. It is dirty and possessive. Just from the way his eyes roved over every inch of her I can tell he thought he owned her. It made me sick.

  Then he noticed me. The look on his face fell but a spark of something else showed. He doesn’t seem disappointed at all. If anything he seemed happy to see me. Which pissed me off more. I am seriously considering going to jail, just to give him a piece of my mind.

  “Sam.” From the way K said his name I can tell she is uncomfortable. Her shoulders were tense, her breathing off the charts. She isn’t only uncomfortable in the assholes presence she is scared.

  “Asshole.” Mimi said under her breathe. I wanted to laugh at her bitchiness. At least she got it right. He is an asshole, of epic proportions.

  Sam’s eyes turned to slits as he takes in the three of us. It is as if he is eyeing us up, seeing who is the weakest, the one that can be taken out first.

  “Who invited you to this party? If I recall parties aren’t really your thing Kennedy? Or have you decided to take some of my advice?” His voice made my blood boil. I so badly wanted to turn Kennedy around and shake her begging her to tell me what it is he is talking about.

  His lips turned up in a smug smile. His eyes shining with an evilness like I’ve never seen before. He knows what he is doing. That simply his voice made me want to cause damage to his ugly fucking face.

  “She’s not here because she wants to be dumbass, she’s here because I asked her to come with me.” Mimi stepped in. I am not sure if Mimi is a girl or guy. She has more balls than half the guys I know.

  “I wasn’t talking to you… But now that I see you begging for my attention what’s your name sweetheart?”

  Mimi cleared her throat, hitting Kennedy on the arm.

  “Is this the asshole who fucked with you?” Confusion, started to overtake the anger. What is she talking about? Unless Mimi knows about Sam too…

  Kennedy stayed quiet and under the radar. I can’t see her face, but I am certain it is voided of any and all emotions.

  Sam takes a step forward, and if in fear Kennedy takes one back. Her back colliding with my chest. I have enough, I know what Kennedy meant now when she says he won’t stop. I know we put an X on our backs and I don’t care.

  Placing my hands on Kennedy’s shoulder’s I pushed her to the side softly, ushering her behind me.

  “Oh really?” Sam said his eyebrow rising, a look of shock showed. He is shocked. Shocked that I will protect her from his disgusting hands? I don’t think so.

  “Yeah really…” I growled. I am about three seconds from laying him out. The room is growing quieter and quieter as all attention is focused on us.

  “You think she wants you? That she won’t exploit your secrets?” The smile on his face is raising the hairs on the back of my neck. He talked like he has something he can hold over my head.

  I leaned into his face, our noses almost touched and I take a deep breathe.

  “I don’t think anything… Simply because I don’t have too. Kennedy wants me, and it’s not because I forced her to be with me.” I don’t think the fucker realized who he is dealing with.

  “She wants everyone, don’t think you’re special.”

  “Funny… If I don’t recall she never wanted you, and that’s why you’re the hateful bastard you’re. Maybe if you fixed your attitude and stopped being a dick 100% of the time then maybe you can land a girl worth keeping.”

  I am about ready to walk away, completely satisfied with everything that I have said. It doesn’t matter where someone like him went in life, he will never amount to anything treating people the way he does.

  “She may not have ever wanted me, but it isn’t my father who beat me.”

  The second the words were out of his mouth the beast is let lose. A curtain of rage blinded me as I tackled him to the ground. He doesn’t even try and resist against me. His head smacked off the wooden floor.

  How does he know? Who told him? I am not seeing things for what they were, and a deep darkness is threating to take over me. My fingers gripped around his neck as I squeezed. I squeezed him as if I am trying to keep my secrets quiet. He can’t tell them if he can’t talk right?

  I can hear people screaming, and yelling. Someone pulling on my shoulders but all I saw is the lifelessness seeping out of him. His ugly fucking eyes closing and rolling back in his head. I know I have to stop. I know I have to loosen my hold but I can’t. How does he know? Who told him?

  My grip loosened at the last moment as a group of guys pulls me off of him. I don’t dare look around the room to see the disgusted looks that these people will give me. They thought I am a monster and maybe I am. All I know is that if my secret came out there will be nothing holding me back from hurting him.

  “Lay off the roids Hulk…” Mimi said as she pulls me and Kennedy out of the house before the ambulance got there. I don’t dare look at Kennedy. I don’t want to see the look of hate she will have on her face. I am evil, a bastard no better for her then Sam. The way I seen it I am no good for anyone.

  “I’m fine.” I say roughly pulling from her. Mimi gave me the direst look known to mankind.

  “Fine? Hulk slamming asshole through the concrete doesn’t consulate to “fine.” I needed to cool off, take some deep breaths drink a beer I don’t know.

  I laid my head against a nearby tree, taking deep breaths. My nostril were flaring like a bulls and I am ready to blow at any minute. A pair of small hands landed on my back and I swirled around so fast she never has a chance of escaping me. A gasp left her lips, as I pushed her against the tree harshly.

  “I’m sorry…” I mumble, my head immediately finding that spot on her neck that do all kinds of things for both of us. Two things were true about me, when once the blood started flowing I have two options I can fuck the anger out, or fight it out.

  Looking at Kennedy right now, I desperately wanted to fuck her. Turn her insides to mush over and over again. Her mind, body,
and soul will be filled with nothing but my name as she whispered it from her luscious lips.

  “Don’t be sorry Ryder…” Her voice is low, and humming with a primal need. Something that I understood very well. I pushed myself into her body, so she can feel what she is doing to me. Through all the bullshit that just occurred I know there is one thing that the fucker can never take from me. Kennedy Chaps. No matter what way you look at it. She will always be mine.

  “Can we go? I kind of don’t want to stand here and watch porn, not when I can do that at home.” I turned around and saw Mimi standing there causally staring at us.

  “If you think this is porn you don’t want to hear about…”

  “Stop. Just don’t. If I have to hear about anything else… I might puke.” Mimi protested throwing her hands up. I turned my attention back to Kennedy. Her eyes were glowing with desire. A pink tint mirrored her cheeks.

  I know it won’t be long before I have her, but first I have to deal with all of this. With Sam, and my father.

  ***

  I knew what I needed to do but It didn’t mean I wanted to do it. There were so many times in my life I have been given the chance to stick up to a person like my father and didn’t I won’t allow Sam to grow up and turn into the same thing. I need to confront him to figure out how he knew what he knew.

  I needed to remind him that it is I that have Kennedy’s heart and that I always will. I have got the info from Landon on where he lived, and as I threw my Charger into park I am still overcome with anger and anxiety. I know one day my secrets will come out, that I won’t be able to keep them in forever.

  Ryder will know someday and I prayed his outlook on me will never change. I don’t want him to think less of me, or assume that it is his fault, because it never is.

  Getting out of the car I take a look at the assholes place. It is too nice for someone like him. Even if he does come from money.

  His car is parked in a spot that said my daddy-owns-this-fucking-place don’t start with me. I know he is the type who always got what he wanted when he wanted it.

  I pull my phone checking the text from Landon again. It said apartment number 201. I walked up the steps into the apartment complex. They were concrete and similar to those of the dorm rooms. I look at the only door into the building realizing I needed a card to get in.

  Fuck.

  I turned around ready to walk back down the steps and back to my car when a girl came out the door.

  “Thank you.” I murmured to her, taking the door from her hand and sliding into the building. There is nothing to the inside really. White walls, and brown cream colored carpeting. There is a directory on the wall showing what floor what apartment is on.

  Looks like my luck has turned around. Sam Wikes name is sitting nicely next to the number 201. I take the stairs two at a time not wanting to waste an ounce of time confronting him. I know Kennedy can’t have told him. The secrets were too close to me, and I know she can’t risk what we have.

  Once I found myself on the second floor, I take a right and there it is his apartment. There is no welcome sign not that I thought there will be one but still…

  Make a fist I pounded on the door absurdly loud. I don’t want to draw a ton of attention but I definitely wanted him to know whoever is on the other side of the door is very much able of taking the door down.

  I can hear the locks on the door clicking out of place as he unlocked them. He pulls the door open, his dumbass face looking straight at mine.

  A smile that caused even the evilest person to want to vomit marred his face.

  “Hi Ryder, how can I help you?” The way he says it made it seem like I owed him something. As if he can hold everything above my head and blackmail me into something.

  “You can just explain to me how in the fuck it is you think you can blackmail me. You don’t know anything. I bet you don’t even have any proof.” Hate is found in every word that left my mouth. I hated him, if it isn’t obvious enough.

  He laughed. Directly in my face. Saliva clung to my skin, and a dark rage is ready to explode from within me.

  “Proof? Who do you take me more? Someone who has no means to anything? My father is a very well established man. If I needed to I can find out whatever I wanted too. Is that way you’re here? To find out what it is that I know about? Are you worried your little secret, or rather big for that matter will be spilled?” He is standing against the door jam. It takes everything in me to not knock him the fuck out.

  I take a step forward not afraid to get in his face one bit.

  “I’m not scared of whatever it is you think you know, because I can guarantee whatever it is you “know” isn’t something you really know anything about.”

  His eyes narrowed as he peeked out into the hall his gaze swinging both ways. Whatever he is looking for he doesn’t find.

  “Where’s Kennedy?” He asked curiously. The lust in his eyes is disgusting.

  “Kennedy has nothing to do with this, therefore she isn’t here. Not that I will allow her to be within ten feet of you.” I sneered. I won’t. I will never let him get within touching distance of her again.

  He takes a step towards me, so I stepped back knowing if I got into a brawl with him here I will end up in jail. I wanted badly to beat him into oblivion but the last thing I needed is a record.

  “Let me a deal with you Ryder.” His eyes squinted at me as if he is trying to read me. A smile pulls at his lips. “If you leave Kennedy alone, I just might be able to keep my mouth shut. You give her up, and I’ll take your secrets to the grave.”

  My fist clenched together as the blood left my brain, all rational thoughts going out the window. I reached out, grabbing him the front of the shirt holding him so our noses were touching.

  I am hoping it will cause him to piss his pants but it doesn’t. If anything it urged him on more. His smile grew larger, and larger and my rage grew hotter.

  “The only way you’ll ever get a shot with Kennedy is if you kill me, and I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon. Whatever you know isn’t worth giving her up to you. I would rather exploit my secrets then allow her to be hurt by you, so whatever it is you have to say, say it.”

  Then I released him, watching him stumbled back onto his feet. It doesn’t matter to me if he has something to hold over my head. I mean it made me angry, but I still have Kennedy and to me that is enough for me.

  “Oh I will… Believe me I will have your secret around campus in no time.” I matched his ugly smile with one of my own.

  Before I walked away though I have a few last words to say… “Go for it.”

  Kennedy

  One week later

  Worry ate at my insides. I’m scared. Terrified. Sam knows. He plainly knows, and told Ryder. I know Ryder is playing it off as nothing simply, looking at me as a way to rid the pain. I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me but I am not sure I can follow through with everything that was going on. I have to do something. Find a way to stop Sam before he ruined our lives, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.

  I can feel the tears slipping from my eyes at the very idea of never seeing Ryder’s face again. Of never being able to show him that life is worth more than what he has been given. That he isn’t anything like his father. He is amazing and someday he will realize that.

  Wiping away the tears I fixed my hair, and forced myself to calm down.

  Getting out of the car I walked up the front steps to the apartment complex. Once to his door, I have to pull my heart out of my stomach. I am not sure what horrible incident will happen first. Will my heart beat out of control sending me into cardiac rest or will I vomit all over his floor?

  Raising my fist to knock on the door, I stopped. A noise on the other side of the door startled me, freezing me into place. It sounded like things were being thrown throughout the house.

  My heart rate picked up, and my body went into overdrive fear finding its way into my mind. I can’t bury it if I tried. Withou
t hesitation, and knocking I grabbed the handle of the door. The coldness of the metal is the only thing, I can sense.

  Turning it I opened the door. What my eyes landed on shocked me. The apartment is trashed. It looks as if someone has went through the place looking for something but never finding it.

  I heard the slamming of doors down the hall… “Ryder?” I called out. Feelings were lodged in my throat. I don’t think I can do this. Taking one look at the apartment I can tell he is already spiraling out of control. He is losing himself.

  “What?” He says gruffly from down the hall. I can hear the pain laced in his voice. Anger vibrated off of him with every step he takes towards me. He looks nothing like the man I have fallen so helplessly for. Instead the shell of that person stood before me. He is shirtless, and sweaty. His face has a weeks’ worth of scruff, and his hair is all over the place. It has been a week since the incident with Sam and I haven’t heard from him. It is as if he fell off the radar.

  “Are you okay?” I asked about as innocently as I can. I have never been more afraid of Ryder than I am in this very moment. You can see the unstableness within him. He is like a teeter-totter. He needed something to balance him out, and nothing will, or can.

  He picked up a nearby bottle of what I assumed to be alcohol. He reeked of whiskey, and another sweet smell.

  “Do I look okay Kennedy?” The words were like a slap to my face. What happened to him? I take a soft step backwards not wanting to trap myself within his grasp.

  If I am being honest I will say no. His eyes were blood shot. His face a beautiful ragged mess. He is so damaged, and it hurt my heart. I thought I am suffering but I am not.

  “Not really… You look not-good. No one’s heard from you in like a week. You haven’t even called me.” I don’t want to sound needy, but I missed him. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I wanted to see him too. My eyes lingered over the muscles of his chest. The muscles that made up that delectable V of his.