by Jo McNally
“I flipped over a restaurant table, and the rest is history. I quit the show and hired a divorce lawyer. All I wanted was the beach house, and the judge gave it to me. Poor Damian’s still trying to get it back. First he appealed the judgment, and now he wants to buy it from me.” She looked up and found Cole gazing at her. He seemed deep in thought. “And then the stalker showed up, and that safe life I’d wanted so much started to feel really scary.”
“Do you think the stalker could be Damian?”
“No. His career is finally heating up again, so what’s the point? The movie he’s filming is supposed to be a hit, and I’m glad for him. Our marriage was a farce and he was a train wreck, but I never hated the guy.”
The horizon turned orange and pink and silver. Birds were beginning to sing a lovely morning chorus in the trees around them.
“It’s so beautiful here.”
* * *
COLE LOOKED DOWN at Bree gazing out over the Carolina farmland he loved so much, and shook his head in wonder. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail, and her freckled skin reflected the colors of the sunrise, all pink and peach.
“It is beautiful,” he agreed.
He wasn’t prepared for what he felt when they were together. It was more than the terrific sex. Everything was just so damned easy with her. Sure, they liked to bait each other verbally, but that was just their way of handling the passion that was always bubbling beneath the surface.
She was still staring at the horizon when she spoke again.
“Where do we go from here?”
“Well, I’m thinking breakfast sounds like a good idea. If Nell heard us drive by earlier, she’s probably got something ready for us.”
“You know I’m not talking about that, Cole. What are we going to do about...us?”
His heart drummed solidly against his ribs. It was a fair question, but he had no idea what the answer was. He couldn’t expect her to walk away from her West Coast life and stay here. And he had no interest in joining her in Holly-weird. Sure, this felt perfect, wrapped around each other and sated from a night of great sex, but that could only carry them so far. His life was here, and hers was there.
“Nothing’s changed, Bree.” He forced the words out. “We’re still a bad idea. We only work after dark and between the sheets.” She stiffened in his arms, but he didn’t stop. “Plus, I’m dealing with a lot of crap right now and it’s not fair to drag you into that.”
“You mean the way you dragged me up here so we could watch the sun come up together? Yeah, that’s really twisted, Plowboy.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her ever-present sass, but he didn’t let her distract him. “Look, I may not want therapy, but I know I have stuff to work through. I need to figure out how to get back to living a normal life again, and I don’t think you and I are anywhere near ‘normal,’ sweetheart.”
“There may not be a way to go back to the normal you knew before. But you can create a new normal, Cole. You can move forward by inventing a new path.”
A new path. Could that path possibly include a pretty redhead with a sharp tongue and a sharper mind? He quickly dismissed the thought as setting himself up for heartache. She was going to be heading back to Hollywood soon. But she was here now. Before he could talk himself out of it, he heard himself speaking.
“Why don’t you stay at my place for a few days? It’s farther from the road, and you can sit on the back porch and be out of sight of anyone driving by. You’ll be safer there.”
“And I assume you think your big bed would be perfect for those after-dark activities we’re so good at?”
“I don’t assume anything. If you want to use a guest room...”
She tipped her head back and met his eyes.
“I want to be with you, Cole.”
Damn, if those words didn’t make his heart flutter like a girlie little butterfly. This woman was so bad for him in so many ways. He forced his voice not to waver.
“Look, whatever this is that’s going on between us, let’s keep it real. We know it’s temporary, so let’s not pretend it’s more than it is. Let’s promise to be honest with each other about how we feel and what we want. Okay?”
She stared at him for a beat then nodded. “Okay. And as part of that promise to be perfectly honest?” She waited until he shifted behind her in impatience. “The sun is up and it’s time for breakfast, Plowboy.”
He looked up and blinked at the bright sun now more than halfway above the horizon. A new day had begun. And tonight he’d be going to bed with this woman in his arms. They’d agreed that whatever this was between them was for after dark, and they knew it was short-term. What could be more perfect?
So why did something feel just a bit off?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE NEXT FEW days passed for Bree in a quiet, happy haze of work and sex, with a little sleep here and there as needed. Cole worked the farm every day. Bree would have a hearty dinner prepared when he got back to the house, and they’d talk as they ate, laughing and arguing. Cole would help with dishes, then they’d curl up together on the sofa, on the back porch swing, or, more often than not, head straight to his bed.
It felt comfortable and natural. She tried hard not to question that. She was living in the moment and refusing to think about the future. To do so was to allow shadows into their happy, if temporary, partnership.
With every day that went by, though, that sense of satisfaction was growing into something stronger and deeper, and she was pretty sure Cole felt it, too. She sat on the back porch one particularly steamy afternoon and watched him driving the tractor through the fields, towing some contraption that had long arms spread out on either side, spraying something on the fast-growing soybean plants. A pitcher of sweet tea was on the table next to her, and she held it up the next time he glanced her way. He nodded and pulled the towering tractor behind the house, unhitching the sprayer at the edge of the field.
He pulled off his ever-present ball cap and tugged his shirt over his head, using it to wipe the sweat from his face. She really liked that move. His body was hard and his farmer’s tan, ending where his T-shirt sleeves began, just made him look sexier in her eyes.
“You gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna bring me some tea, Hollywood?”
She didn’t move, other than rolling her eyes sarcastically. Just because their relationship was feeling comfortable didn’t mean they’d ever be Ozzie and Harriet.
“Come get it yourself, Plowboy. You could use a moment out of the sun.”
He silenced the tractor and jumped to the ground, tossing his sweaty shirt over the porch railing. She squealed when he leaned over to kiss her, lifting her up and against his sticky skin, but she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Even his sweat smelled good. He set her back in the chair with a crooked grin then quickly drained a glass of tea, which she then refilled.
“You’re spoiling me, woman. You’d make one hell of a farmer’s wife.”
Her eyes went wide and his glass stopped halfway to his mouth, as if he’d just realized what he said. He frowned.
“Of course, there aren’t many farmers to marry in Malibu, are there?”
And there it was. The five hundred-pound gorilla they’d both been ignoring for days. They’d had a lot of fun playing house, but there was an end coming. She had a home in California, and she couldn’t stay here forever. Caroline had called just last night to say someone in Utah had been spotted on security cameras sneaking around the rehab center, but the police had missed him. Once he was caught, she could return to her oceanfront world. Her frown matched Cole’s.
The future was knocking on the door, trying to pull them out of the fantasy. Her fingers tightened on the glass of tea she held. She came here to hide from danger, but there was a very real possibil
ity she’d leaped from the frying pan directly into the flames. Because losing this...this...thing that was happening between her and Cole? That might just be the most dangerous threat of all.
She knew now that she was falling in love with him.
Had fallen.
She was in love. With a farmer from North Carolina.
Cole looked as troubled as she felt. He emptied the second glass of tea and set it down loudly on the table, muttering something about heading to the fields. The tractor rumbled back to life, and he was gone without another word.
* * *
SHE DIDN’T THINK Cole had been angry after that awkward moment on the back porch, but by dinnertime, she wondered if she’d missed something. He was never late for dinner, but she’d been keeping a casserole warm for an hour now and the sun was settling on the horizon. She walked outside to look for his tractor and was surprised to see it parked next to the barn. But his truck was gone. She’d been so lost in her own swirling thoughts that she hadn’t heard him leave. Or maybe he’d come back while she was upstairs showering. She frowned. He rarely passed up an opportunity to join her in there.
Maybe he drove off to get cattle feed. Except the feed mill shut down hours ago. She walked through the house and looked across the road to Nell’s. He wasn’t there. And Maggie was gone. Maybe Ty needed help with something. That must be it. Cole had gotten busy with some project at the bar and lost track of time.
She called The Hide-Away and Ty answered with an enthusiastic greeting. It sounded like there was a busy weekend crowd there.
“Ty? It’s Bree.” She spoke loudly so he’d hear her. Her voice bounced around the living room and she suddenly felt embarrassed. It really wasn’t her place to keep track of Cole’s whereabouts. But she’d felt a strange sense of foreboding from the moment she saw that his truck was gone. “Tell Cole his dinner’s getting cold. If he’s staying there for a while, I’ll eat alone.”
“I haven’t seen him, Bree. Is everything okay? You guys have a fight or something?”
She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see her over the phone. “No, nothing like that. I just didn’t realize he’d driven off right at dinnertime, and I assumed he was at the bar. He must have lost track of time. Have a good night, Ty.”
She sat at the table and stared at her still-empty plate. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Had his words about her being a farm wife scared him that badly? They’d promised to be open and honest with each other, but he’d clearly been spooked. But then again, she hadn’t told him she’d fallen in love, because she didn’t know what he’d do with that. She didn’t know what she was going to do with it, either.
She was so lost in thought that the ringing phone made her jump. She ran to grab it from the kitchen counter, hoping to see his name on the screen, but it was Nell.
“Bree, is Cole with you?”
“No. He took the truck and went somewhere. Maybe he went to look at some equipment or something. What’s wrong?”
“I just got a call from Chris.”
“Cole’s friend?” A chill settled into her chest.
“He’s worried about Cole. That friend of theirs, Travis, the boy who lives in the mountains?”
“What about him?”
She heard Nell’s voice crack. Bree closed her eyes and grabbed the edge of the counter to steady herself. She didn’t want to hear what was coming next, because she knew in her heart that it was bad. Really bad. “Nell, tell me.”
“The poor boy killed himself yesterday, honey. With a shotgun. His parents called Chris and asked him to be a pallbearer. They told him they’d already spoken to Cole. Now he’s not answering anyone’s calls. Not from Chris or Jerome or even from me. Chris is worried, Bree. He’s afraid that Cole might...”
She thought about the website she’d looked at yesterday on Cole’s laptop about counseling for veterans. As many as twenty veterans committed suicide every day. Would Travis’s death be enough to push Cole to do the unthinkable? She started shaking so badly she could barely hold the phone.
“Nell, he’s not at the bar. I already called there. Where would he go? Is there someone around here he’d turn to?”
And why hadn’t that someone been her?
“If it wasn’t you, me or Ty, then I don’t know. I have to ask you a hard question, Bree. Is his shotgun still by the back door?”
Cole told her he kept it there for protection. She turned slowly, already knowing what she was going to see. The double-barreled shotgun was no longer leaning against the door jamb.
“It’s gone.”
The silence seemed to go on forever while Bree remained frozen in place, staring at the door, willing his truck to pull up outside. Willing him to walk in with a logical explanation.
“I’m going to drive into town and track down Ty and Tammy,” Nell said. “They might know some places to look. It’s getting dark, and we shouldn’t wait another minute.”
“I’ll come with you...”
“No. He might come home, and you should be there.” Nell noticed her lack of response. “Bree, honey? Are you hearing me?”
Her “yes” came out as a whisper. Night was falling outside, and in her heart, as well.
“Don’t panic, darlin’. He’s probably just sitting somewhere thinking. Or drinking. Or both. Maybe he’s driving around to blow off steam. There must be someplace he goes when he needs to think.”
Nell ended the call and Bree set her phone down with a shudder. Where the hell was he?
There’s a little swimming hole back behind my place...
Bree straightened, the sudden rush of adrenaline nearly knocking her off her feet. He was at the swimming hole! She knew it just as sure as she knew how to breathe.
She didn’t care that she was wearing a yellow cotton sundress. She didn’t care that she only had canvas skimmers on her feet. She ran out the back door and past the barns behind the house. She ran through the dark fields, thankful for all those days spent running on the beach back in California. She was also thankful to see the moon rising, giving her at least some light. Her strides were strong and sure, with the exception of a few missteps in the soft soil. She was halfway to the river before she realized her phone was still sitting back at the house. It didn’t matter. She just needed to find him.
Cole had a shotgun with him. The thought gave her a fresh surge of speed, and before long she was thrashing through the dark undergrowth, having no idea where the path was. She ignored the sting of branches whipping against her exposed arms and legs. For a moment she thought she might be lost, but she burst through the last of it, stumbling into a clearing and nearly colliding with the side of Cole’s black truck. Maggie was inside and looked relieved to see reinforcements arrive. She barked as Bree tried to open the door, but it was locked. The windows weren’t open far enough for her to reach inside. Cole’s cell phone sat on the dashboard. With a curse, Bree turned away. The moonlight cast a silvery glow on the ground.
He was sitting on a log, staring into the water. He did nothing to acknowledge her presence, even though he must have heard her thrashing through the bushes. The shotgun was resting in his lap, and one hand was loosely wrapped around the grip. He didn’t speak until she moved closer.
“Don’t.”
The single word was sharp and hard, like the expression on his face.
“Don’t what, Cole? Don’t try to help you? Don’t be here? Don’t care?” She stepped in front of him and dropped to her knees to meet his haunted eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t obey that order. I heard about Travis...” She flinched at the pain that shot across his face. “I’m so sorry, but you know it wasn’t your fault.”
“He told me he was walking away from the group sessions like I did.” He sounded defeated. “He thanked me and said it was the best thing he’d ever done
. He said he was fine. And now he’s gone. Just like the others...”
She rested her hands on his knees. He still wouldn’t look at her; instead, he stared out at the water. “Like what others, Cole?”
“All the ones who’ve died. Not just the ones who never came home, but the ones who came home as different people. The ones who got tired of the fight and found a way out of the pain.” He finally looked in her direction, but his eyes were dull and unfocused. “Sean Jenson. Marty Cortez. Vickie Walker. Tim...”
“Who are those people, Cole? Tell me about them.” She needed to keep him talking, to make him reengage with the world. To come back to her. His expression didn’t change.
“Comrades from Fort Bragg or ones I met at Walter Reed. Marty drank himself to death. Sean wrapped his car around a tree a mile from his house on a sunny day. Vickie swallowed a bottle of pills. Tim took a shotgun, just like Travis.”
Bree could hear her own heart pounding in her ears. The death and destruction he described was almost too much to bear, and she was just listening to words. Cole and his comrades had lived it. They’d all lost friends who’d seemed okay but weren’t.
She felt brutally inadequate. She had no idea what to do or say to make that kind of horror bearable. She only knew she had to snap him out of it, bring him back to the world where he and she had laughed and loved. Her smile trembled as much as her heart did.
“Come back to the house with me, Cole. Everyone’s worried. All the people who care about you. Those names you shared...”
His face contorted in anger. “They aren’t names, they’re people! People like Travis who aren’t here anymore. That’s the point of all this, Hollywood. They figured out how to get themselves to a better place. A place with no more pain...”
