Ruthless (Dark MC Romance)

by Vanessa Waltz

One of the club whores beamed as Spike walked in and a surge of jealousy make me feel sick when he smiled and winked back. Her eyes slid to mine, narrowing. My eyes snapped away, but she had already turned her body towards me. I hugged myself as she walked forward, dressed in a bikini top and shorts. Tracy was a small thing. She’d always hungered after Cain’s cock.

  “Hi, Julia.”

  “Hey, Tracy.”

  “How are you holding up without Cain?”

  Remarkably well. “Fine.”

  My insides tensed as she gave me a knowing smile and a wink. “Spike and you’ve been together a lot lately.”

  The fear was sharp like a knife, but I let none of it show. “Yeah, Cain wanted him to shadow me while he was gone. He’s afraid I’ll run off, or something.”

  She let out a simpering giggle. “Oh, I see.”

  I wanted to slap the smile from her face, but instead I excused myself. I looked around the club; trying to decipher the looks they gave me. Was it me or were their eyes flicking back and forth from me to Spike?

  Everybody fucking knows already.

  Coke. I wanted a fucking gram of coke. I took my fear out on the billiard balls, waiting for Spike to send me to a bar.

  “Hey, you all right?”

  His gentle voice snapped me out of my concentration, and I scratched the ball, my cue stabbing the felt. Color bloomed in my cheeks as the whole bar laughed at me. I tried to join in half-heartedly. Spike looked alarmed that I would make such a rookie mistake. I looked at him and slammed the cue against the wall, storming out of the club.

  “She’s angry about Cain.” I heard his voice explain to the others as the doors swung shut. I dug a cigarette out of my jacket and lit it furiously.

  We’re fucked.

  The lungful of smoke did little to calm my nerves.

  Who cares? You’re going to tell him, anyway. My lungs froze as if they were petrified. I would tell him, but I wouldn’t expect to survive the day.

  The swell of joy bursting my chest when Spike emerged to look for me made me feel miserable. He looked at my trembling hand and his mouth hardened as if he knew what was wrong.

  “You’ve got to calm down.”

  “I can’t. Everyone already knows.” My lungs sucked down the smoke. I felt it swirling inside me.

  He laughed. “What? No, they don’t.”

  “He’ll kill us.”

  His hand fell around my shoulder and wrapped around the back of my neck. “That’s not going to happen. For one thing, not everyone’s thrilled with Cain as a leader.”

  The door swung open and two foul-faced men that I recognized as the men who kidnapped me and killed Bryan stepped outside. Pike’s shaved head gleamed in the sun. River’s dark eyes zeroed in on us and Spike’s hand fell from my neck.

  Oh, shit.

  “Spike!” River called out.

  “The fuck do they want?” he muttered under his breath. “Yeah?” he said in a louder voice.

  My stomach turned as they approached me.

  Each time I saw them it was like being transported back to that night. The night they took my entire world from me.

  I couldn’t forget the way Bryan’s eyes widened, glistening with tears right before his head whipped to the side. I pushed it from my mind for months, numbing my memories with coke, but now it returned in full force. He didn’t fucking deserve it. I may have never loved him, but he was still someone who I shared a home with. He protected me and tried to give me a better life, and he died for it.

  It festered in me.

  I owe him justice.

  Pike sneered at me, flashing his yellow teeth as if he remembered the same thing, but he couldn’t talk freely in front of Spike. He deliberately stepped in between us.

  “What?” he prompted.

  “We’ve been sitting on that intel about the shipment for days. Why haven’t we acted on it?”

  My heart flipped at the challenge in his voice, but Spike stared him down like the cockroach he was.

  “Crash wants nothing to do with Red, so I’m staying the fuck out of it. If he wants to fuck with the Tigers when he gets out, he can be my guest.”

  I dug my fingernails in my palms when he swept past the biker wordlessly. His rage at being brushed aside by the Vice-President trembled in his eyes. They narrowed at me.

  “Do you know that there’s a two hundred thousand dollar reward for information on your return?”

  “No, I didn’t.” Cain never let me read the news. I had no idea what happened in the aftermath of Bryan’s death. “Maybe you shouldn’t have killed him.”

  If I was expecting an admission of guilt, an apology, or something—I was delusional. His lips curled.

  “Your old man’s in jail. When he returns, he’ll expect things to be back to normal. Those who helped him will be rewarded and those who betray him just might end up dead.”

  Is that a threat? Against me or Spike?

  I was lucky it was so hot outside. “You think I’m stupid enough to betray my old man? You need to fuck off.”

  His face twisted like an ugly mask. My nerves blazed as if they sensed a fight.

  “I won’t stand here and watch while Cain loses what’s his.”

  “Fuck off, you piece of shit. If I could, I would gun both of you down—you and that creep standing behind you. You better watch what you say.”

  I knocked into his shoulder as I stormed away from him, glaring at Pike who gave me a slow smirk.

  “This ain’t over.”

  The sunlight squinted his eyes and whitened his head. The cruel smirk on his face was exactly identical to the one he wore when he kidnapped me. It promised pain and retribution.

  * * *

  I stayed away from the club after that and seriously thought about packing my shit and leaving town. There was one more visit left before Cain would be freed. What if Pike and River decided to go? What would they tell him?

  I told myself that it didn’t matter, that I was planning on leaving him anyway. I said it over and over again, but it didn’t make me feel better.

  The desire reared up inside me to regain control of my life. If I wanted Spike in my life, this was the only way. I’ve always done everything myself, and this was no different. I would not let him die.

  I drove all the way to jail, alone. I wouldn’t leave Cain, no matter how horrible he was to me. He was the only good thing in my life. Hell, he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wasn’t going to kill him.

  I sat in the leather seat of the car as the heat suffocated me, trying to gather the courage to leave the car and get inside. Two leather jacketed men left jail and a shrill gasp escaped my throat. They walked down the parking lot, closer and closer to me.

  Pike and River.

  No.

  Almost as if they smelled my presence, their faces turned towards the car I was huddled inside. They made a beeline for me and I locked the doors automatically. Pike’s torso stopped in front of my driver’s side and he bent at the waist to look inside.

  A leer spread across his face and he waved his hand merrily.

  “Julia! Come out,” he yelled through the glass.

  Were they really planning to abduct me here? Don’t be afraid. They can’t touch you here.

  I swung open the door widely, aiming for his head, but the bastard leapt out of the way.

  “What the fuck?”

  I whirled on him, my teeth grinding together. “Fuck, I missed.”

  He straightened himself, pulling on his ratty, filthy leather cut. “That’s right. Keep threatening us.”

  It’s a promise. I will kill you one day.

  Locking the car, I sped away from their derisive laughter. Tears filled my eyes as I imagined what they must have told Cain in my absence.

  Fuck. What could I say? Would he even believe me?

  Getting processed through jail took an agonizing half-hour. I tried to think of what Spike would do, but he didn’t want me to stay with Cain. He wanted me to be
happy.

  And that’s why I’m willing to do anything to keep him safe. The world would be worse off without him.

  I wiped my face as I was led through the building to the cavernous room full of prisoners milling around. I searched frantically, hoping that Cain was still there.

  “Julia.”

  There was no mistaking that rough voice. He sat on a table nearby with his hands clasped, looking at me with a sweet smile. I had never seen him look so innocent. That unnerved me. I walked around the table, ignoring the blood pounding in my ears. He looked healthier, but his eyes looked predatory. I sat down next to him and ignored my instincts, which screamed for me to flee.

  Then I kissed him. My skin crawled as his lips refused to respond. They were as hard as stone. I pulled away quickly.

  “What did they say about me?” I decided it was best not to feign stupidity. Cain’s coal-grey eyes revealed nothing.

  “Who?”

  “Pike and River. I saw them leaving.”

  “Oh, them. Why would that interest you?”

  Cut the crap.

  I let my hand fall to my side and casually placed it over Cain’s knee. His gaze flicked down. “They made threatening comments to me when they saw Spike and I come into the clubhouse.”

  “Why weren’t you here last week?” he suddenly snapped.

  I stiffened at his harsh tone. “I—Spike said he wanted to talk to you alone about club business.”

  For the first time, I wondered what they talked about during that visit. I never even thought about it. The next day, Spike was different. Stronger, perhaps. I never knew what it was. We also fucked in Cain’s apartment.

  My face burned and Cain’s eyes narrowed even further.

  “He said you wanted to leave me. Is that true?”

  Oh my God. “No!”

  “Just tell me the truth. If you want to leave me, I’ll let you leave.”

  It was impossible to tell whether he was lying. It had to be a bluff. He was testing the waters. I wouldn’t sign that death warrant on Spike.

  “No,” I said in a firm voice. “I don’t know why he would say that.”

  He leaned closer to me, so close that I could see the flecks of yellow in his eyes. They darted back and forth, searching. “He saw the marks on your body, didn’t he?”

  My mouth trembled. What should I say? “It was an accident. He was just at my house—your house and he saw it.”

  “How the fuck would he be able to see anything on your body? Why are you inviting members in my fucking apartment?”

  “Cain, you told him to protect me. He was just making good on his promise. Don’t let what other people say bother you.”

  He sneered then, and moved his legs so that my hand fell away. “You know what I think?”

  I’m fucked.

  His voice dipped down, sounding almost wolfish. “I think you’re a liar and you’re a whore, and the moment I get out I’m—”

  “Fine!” I screamed suddenly. “Believe your fucking dogs over me, I don’t give a shit. Maybe I will leave.”

  “Ma’am, there’s no yelling here.” The guard said in a stern voice.

  Irate, I turned towards the hulking interruption. “Fuck off!”

  His face hardened. “Ma’am, you need to leave.”

  Low laughter made my insides freeze. Cain looked at me, his face wide with mirth. He didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth.

  His eyes said: I’m coming for you when I leave this place.

  I stepped around the guard and shoved my middle finger in his face. He stared at it, still laughing. They grabbed my arms and hauled me out.

  What the fuck did I just do?

  * * *

  The game was up. Cain knew everything, or at least suspected, which was just as bad. Fuck it all. Fuck the club, fuck Crash, and FUCK Cain.

  I had nowhere to turn. Nowhere to hide. So, I did what I always do in these situations.

  I ran.

  The moment I left the jail, I fled to Spike’s apartment, nearly breaking down the door. I knocked for nearly five minutes. Then I banged on it until the hinges rattled.

  He wasn’t there. Either he was busy with the club, or he had errands to run. With Crash undermining the vote to distribute Red at every turn, and Cain’s threats, I just felt like saying: Fuck it all.

  In tears, I drove back to the club, hoping to get a fix to tide me over until Spike returned. I knew Pike and River wouldn’t be there. Spike spent a lot of time with them, not trusting them unsupervised.

  Keep your enemies close.

  Half of the bikes were gone from the clubhouse when I arrived. I stormed inside, my face a mask of tears as I sought out Ginger, one of the club whores who would have coke on her.

  “Honey, what’s going on?”

  Tank, Max, and a few other men I didn’t know sat around a table, playing poker. I recognized them as a group of the few decent members we had in the club. I wiped my face hurriedly and tried to smile.

  Maybe they can help me.

  “Nothing—it’s nothing.”

  Their pinched, worried faces refused to let me off the hook.

  Exactly what I wanted.

  “Go on, honey. Tell us.”

  I burst into tears as one of them took my hand and tried to lead me to a seat.

  Let them feel sorry for me. I need all the allies I can get.

  “Cain h—hates me. I visited him in jail, but he thinks that I haven’t been faithful.” I wailed into one of the tissues they gave me, mentally patting myself on the back. Even if they had any suspicions about me, I would win them on my side.

  Tank’s bushy eyes were sympathetic as he reached forward and patted my hand. “Why would he think that?”

  “Some members went to visit him and gave him all this bull about me and Spike. Pike? And that dark-haired guy who’s always with him.”

  I pretended not to notice their looks to one another. My hands trembled on the table. “He said he’s going to hurt me when he gets out.” My face crumpled again. “I’ve tried so hard to be good to him.”

  Some of them looked away from my face, as if my emotion affected them. They frowned at each other and one man even put his hand on my shoulder. I was the gem of the club. It killed them to see me so upset.

  “I told you guys. Cain is bad news,” one of them said in a low voice.

  “Shut the fuck up!” Max snapped.

  “What?” he said defensively. “Getting old ladies hooked on dope is okay, now? Not to mention this Red bullshit. I’m not risking my ass selling that shit for a eight year sentence.”

  Heat rushed into my face when I realized the whole club noticed my addiction. Speaking of. “I—I’m going to lie down.”

  Crumbling the ball of tissues in my fist, I stood up shakily and headed towards the back of the club, passing by the guest rooms to search for Ginger. I heard their voices arguing about Cain all the way there.

  “Julia?”

  Ginger was older than most of the whores in the club. She was rail-thin, her eyes almost sunken in. The guys didn’t really fuck her anymore, but she had been in the club so long she was like family.

  “You okay?”

  Her eyes creased when she saw my face.

  “No.” I stepped inside her messy room and lowered my voice. “I could really, really use a hit.”

  Ginger’s delicate head tilted down. “I don’t know.”

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I said feverishly. “Just a bump.”

  “Spike will kill me.”

  I saw it sitting there, right out in the open. It was on her dresser. I could lunge for it and she would never be able—

  “What the fuck is this?”

  I almost didn’t recognize Spike’s voice. He stood in the doorway, all six feet of him vibrating with rage. Dark eyes flashed from me to Ginger to the small bag of cocaine on her dresser.

  “Spike, please!”

  He lunged forward and grabbed my arm, his grip so tight that
it was almost painful. We left Ginger’s room into the dark hallway and then he threw me into a vacant one, closing the door behind him.

  “I ought to slap you. What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you do this to yourself?”

  I hated the fury in his voice, because it reminded me so much of the man I was trying to escape. The man who wanted to kill us both.

  I hate my life.

  “I’m sorry! I went to your apartment and you weren’t there, so I panicked.”

  Spike let out a grunt as I flew into his arms. He smelled amazing, like he’d just taken a shower. I wound my fingers through his damp hair and pulled his moist face towards mine. Still crying, I kissed him, tasting a hint of fresh toothpaste. He kissed me back urgently, his anger biting my lip. Suddenly, I realized I kissed Cain only an hour before and I broke apart, sobbing. He held me at arms length with an utterly confused expression on his face.

  “What the hell happened?”

  I shook my head. Even if I told him, there was no way out of it. “Just kiss me. Make me forget about everything.”

  His fingers stroked my neck. “Hey, look at me.”

  I did.

  Spike’s eyes, which were always so friendly, were full of concern for me. His hands cupped my face and I leaned into them, loving his warmth.

  “Tell me.”

  The rough pads from his thumbs wiped tears from my eyes. “Cain. I visited him. He knows. Pike and River visited him before me and I caught them leaving.”

  “Goddamn it Julia!”

  I winced.

  He shook his head as if he was actually disappointed in me. “You should have never gone there alone. Those two are not to be trusted. Why would you even visit him?”

  Spike face blurred and distorted until I blinked. Tears rolled down my face. “To save you. I wanted to convince him that they were wrong, but it didn’t work. He didn’t believe me.” More bitter tears slid down.

  “You don’t need to worry about me,” he said in a lighter voice. “Let me do the worrying for both of us.”

  “But I couldn’t stand it if you died.”

  He made a sound with his tongue and drew me into his chest. “No one’s dying.”

  Once again, joy and misery battled, making my heart feel so chronically ill that I just wanted to get it over with. Just let me die.

  “For once in my life, I’m trying to do the right thing,” I said miserably. “And I always end up fucking it up.”