Theo nodded. “I'm not into edge play at all. I've never done the electricity stuff, but I'll look into it if we decide we want to go there at some point in the future. I'm an exacting Dom. Many subs find me frustrating because I have such specific and inflexible rules. However I like nothing better than being able to reward my sub for her successes.”
A small amount of moisture flowed to her pussy. Darcy liked rules, and she loved challenges. She wasn't a passive submissive who wanted to sit back and let her Dom do all the mental work. “And punish her for failure?”
He glanced over at her and then put his attention back on the road as he maneuvered around slower traffic. “Punishments are delivered when necessary. With you, I'll have to be a little more creative. A spanking or a flogging will only turn you on.”
Darcy grinned. “I would consider those rewards.”
He squeezed her leg and let go, returning his hand to the steering wheel. The move ensured that his physicality wouldn't influence the discussion. Darcy's heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness, and he cleared his throat. “While punishment can be fun for me, I prefer to deliver rewards. I like when you're successful because it means I'm successful. However I don't like hollow successes. I'll never give you a task that's beneath you, and I'll always take your honest effort into account.”
A man who respected her intellect and her strength. That fluttery feeling bloomed and spread. “Thank you.”
He flashed another smile in her direction. “Hard limits. You aren't allowed to hit me, either playfully or in anger. Breaking that rule will generally result in a punishment neither of us will enjoy.”
A shiver of apprehension ran through her. The even tone he used didn't communicate any kind of emotion. He simply stated a fact. Darcy didn't plan to challenge that rule.
She strove for a bit of humor. “No hitting. I remember that from last weekend. Got it.”
“Good.” He drummed his fingers against his thigh, and she wondered if he was as nervous about this discussion as she was. “No anal sex. I have no problem with using plugs or beads or vibrators on you if that's what you enjoy, but that's the extent of it. And under no circumstances are you to venture there with a wandering finger while you're sucking my cock. I know some guys like it when you play around with the prostate, but I'm not one of those guys.”
Scott had been one of those guys. Maybe it wasn't fair to keep comparing Theo to Scott, but she had no other point of reference. She nodded, but his eyes were on the road. “Is it just penetration you don't like, or does the whole idea of someone touching your anus turn you off?”
“The whole idea turns me off. It's an instant hard-on killer.”
“But you like to have your balls played with, right?” Darcy liked to give head. She liked to use her hands to caress all over while she did it.
He tilted his head to the side and rolled his lips in. “I don't know. I had one really bad experience, and I've bound the hands of all my subs since then.”
Darcy patted his knee. “Theo, I'm here to help you find out. Maybe I can even turn you on to the prostate thing.”
The car swerved, and horns sounded. Theo accelerated and left the angry drivers behind. “Let's talk about that when I'm not driving.”
She let him move the discussion because she realized she'd forgotten one of her hard limits. “No bondage. I hate being bound.”
He lifted a brow and glanced her way. “Darcy, we talked about this. I'm going to push you on this.”
Holding her hand down while he kissed and fingered her hadn't really seemed like bondage. Stretching her arms over her head and immobilizing her wrists had sent her into a panic. Using any kind of straps or ties would likely give her a stroke.
“Theo, it's going to backfire, and it's not going to be pretty when it does.” She voiced the warning quietly, her tone subdued with the weight of worry. What if he insisted on tying her up and she panicked so badly it destroyed any trust she had in him? Without trust, their relationship was doomed to a quick demise. Relationships didn't work without trust. Not ever.
He closed his hand around hers. “I'm asking you to trust me. I won't push you faster than you can handle. You used yellow very well two days ago. You have safe words, Darcy, and I promise I won't get pissed if you need to use one.”
She thought back to the orgasm he'd given her on the sofa. Yes, her hand had been held down, but he had done it in a way that made it seem like they were holding hands, joining together in an outward display of affection. Part of her longed to have her boundaries pushed. Exploring her sexuality had always brought such great rewards, and Theo had never once abused her trust.
“Okay. But go slow. Baby steps.”
He squeezed her hand and released it. “I'm so proud of you, Darcy.”
His pride gave her more courage.
“Open the glove box and take out the handcuffs.”
That courage ran for the hills. The desolation and helplessness that had suffused her being that last time the police came to her house to question her about Scott's disappearance washed over her. They had handcuffed her, pushed her around, bullied her, and taken her down to the station for an interrogation. Only the intervention of Victor's lawyer had saved her from further humiliation.
But Theo wasn't the police, and he only wanted to push her boundaries, help her to understand the bondage side of submission. She grabbed her courage by the scruff of the neck, forced her attention to the present, and stared at the place where he'd pointed. A handle was embedded in the contoured gray of the molded car interior. Never had a glove box looked so ominous.
“I didn't ask you to put them on.”
Theo's stern voice rumbled through the tiny car, a precursor to thunder. He doesn't know, she reminded herself. She squeaked and lifted the latch. It was larger on the inside than the dimensions of the car seemed to indicate, and it contained two items. The booklet that described the features and maintenance of the car had a clear plastic cover. The silver handcuffs weren't lined with anything to make them more comfortable.
Using one finger, she lifted them out of the compartment and closed the latch. They weren't as cold as she thought they'd be, but the chills running up and down her spine made arctic blasts seem balmy.
Her throat constricted, and she managed short, panting breaths as she faced down this reminder of hell.
MALCOM WATCHED FROM the corner of his eye as Darcy dangled the pair of stainless steel cuffs between two fingers. She watched them as if they could suddenly grow teeth and bite her. A quick glance showed that color had completely drained from her face. This wasn't the reaction he'd expected.
Last time she had been nervous and uncomfortable, skittish but not afraid.
“Darcy? Talk to me, honey. Tell me what you're thinking.”
Long moments passed. When she finally answered, he had to mute the radio in order to hear. “I'm thinking of the time they took me in for questioning because they thought I killed Scott. The week he disappeared, I thought that was the worst week of my life. But it was nothing compared to that day. I sat in that little room for hours, my hands cuffed behind me the whole time. They took turns yelling at me, saying horrible things, and then pretending they were doing me a favor. Thank goodness Victor sent a lawyer. They hadn't formally arrested me, and I didn't think to ask for one.”
Shock coursed through his system at the raw pain of her whispered explanation. The officers had definitely pushed the boundaries of legal treatment of a suspect, but they had felt justified. They had honestly believed in her guilt.
An exit ramp loomed ahead, and farm fields flanked the interstate. Malcolm pulled to the ramp's shoulder and put the car in park. He faced Darcy, unsure whether or not he should offer physical comfort. The tension radiating from her body smacked into him with palpable waves.
“Do you want to talk about it? I'm a really good listener.”
She stared at the cuffs. “No, I don't want to talk about it. I wish I could just erase it from my memory. I h
ate cops. They're completely useless and so full of themselves. Maybe that's why Vic's security guy creeped me out so much. Same species.”
Malcolm struggled to keep his expression from showing the dismay he felt. He couldn't pass negative judgment on his brethren because he probably would have done something similar. They had needed to knock her off balance in order to crack the case. They'd succeeded in ruining her balance, but the case had stalled. That was when they had kicked it to him. When he had approached her, he had done so with the knowledge that she might be guilty. The more he knew her, the more he believed she was a pawn in Snyder's scheme, and that made her a victim.
As he reevaluated his strategy to encourage her to enjoy bondage, she changed before his eyes. Her spine straightened, color returned to her face, and determination darkened her eyes to cerulean.
“I'm not going to let those bastards win.”
“Darcy?” He had leather cuffs in the trunk. They could go around her wrists, get her used to the feel without actually restraining her movement. Perhaps that would ease her into this a little less traumatically. He hadn't planned for this to be unpleasant.
She pushed a cuff through the latches in a series of clicks, and then she closed it around her wrist. “I trust you, Theo. I'm going to use this to take back control. I can't let their taint ruin every aspect of my life. They took enough from me. They can't have anything more.”
The pride he felt in her show of strength warred with his instinct to defend his fellow law enforcement brothers and his instinct to take her into his arms and smooth away the hurt. She closed the remaining cuff over her other wrist.
He pointed to a button at the base of each cuff. “Press this.”
She obeyed instantly. Her eyes widened as the cuff popped open. “A quick release that I can reach.” She looked over at him, the soft blue of her eyes laden with affection. “You really thought about this, didn't you?”
“Bondage is important to me, Darcy. I want you to learn to enjoy it. I want to train you so that your pussy weeps when you see that I'm going to bind you.”
Taking her face between his hands, he lowered his lips to brush against her soft eyelids. He skimmed kisses across her cheeks, and her mouth opened under his gentle pressure. He swept his tongue inside and tasted her sweetness and strength. A small moan purred from her throat as she gave herself over to him. Tender emotion gripped his insides. He ended the kiss and returned to his side of the car. His hands trembled as he put the car in gear and gripped the steering wheel.
Never had kissing a woman left him feeling so vulnerable or so honored.
“Put the cuffs back on.” Even his voice sounded strange to his own ears.
She fumbled with them long enough for him to see that the kiss had affected her just as much. “Yes, Sir.”
Malcolm shook his head. He wanted her first experience with her hands bound to be completely benign. “No ‘Sir,’ Darcy. Not yet. I don't plan to top you until we're headed back to your place.”
Her lips parted ever so slightly, and her brows drew together as she shot him a disbelieving look. “If you're not topping me, then why am I sitting here wearing a pair of handcuffs?”
He couldn't stop the grin from manifesting. “Because you want to.” Reaching over, he threaded his fingers through hers and held her hand. “Have I told you how much it turns me on to see how well you've embraced this challenge?”
“You're pushing it, Theo.” She didn't remove her hand. Instead she placed her other hand on top of his, sandwiching his palm between hers.
Everything about her body language reinforced the correctness of his decision to have her wear the cuffs. “You like being challenged. I think you'd lose respect for any Dom who couldn't keep you challenged. You're too intelligent to find fulfillment with someone who doesn't push your boundaries.”
The silence coming from the passenger side of the car had him glancing over to make sure she was handling it okay. Her gaze fastened on the silver cuffs. Sunlight glittered from them every now and again. He needed to get her mind away from the fact that she was wearing them.
“So tell me how you discovered you were a painslut.”
She laughed softly and lifted her gaze. Now she watched the passing scenery. “That realization came pretty fast. At that party Scott and I attended where we discovered the D/s lifestyle, I couldn't tear my eyes from anyone being whipped. I watched subs with tears streaking down their faces, lost in bliss, and I envied them. I'm not a person who is normally jealous, and I don't begrudge anyone anything. That's when I first knew what I needed.”
She stroked the back of his hand, the gentle touch so at odds with the violence she craved. She looked at his hand, but he knew he had to get her attention away from anything close to the cuffs. “Not everyone who enjoys being whipped wants it on the level you want it. True painsluts are remarkably rare.”
This earned a short, ironic laugh. “People who are mentally balanced who want to dominate a painslut are remarkably rare. Few men can keep up with someone who needs what I need. They think they can, but they can't. Even Scott limited the amount of time he would spend on impact play. Most of the time when I asked, he said no.”
Malcolm squeezed her hand. “It's not safe to whip a sub every day, no matter how much you want it. I'd say he was living up to his responsibility to see to your physical health when he limited your whippings.”
She looked at him for so long he had to return her stare. Layers of pain and longing that had nothing to do with him glittered from her cloudy blue eyes. “He practiced on me a lot at first, as he learned what each whip did. Very few floggers leave marks that last for more than a few hours. The sensitivity and the sting subside pretty quickly. Even those that raised welts didn't leave anything that lingered longer than a day or two. I found it easier to achieve subspace when a second flogging followed the first in a short amount of time.”
Subspace, a pain-induced state of euphoria, acted as a double-edged sword. It could take someone to a peaceful place, but it also provided an escape when a problem should be faced. “And you loved subspace. You found it addictive?”
“I'm not explaining this right.” She lifted her hand and looked down when it didn't go far. Bemused surprise crossed her features. She set it back down. “Yes, I like subspace. It's a place where my brain finally stops thinking about a million other things and I can just exist. But it doesn't turn me on. A whipping can make me horny, but you can also turn me on just by going all Dom on me. Or kissing. You kiss really well.”
“Thanks.” Her kisses definitely turned him on. Watching her come the other night had been so hot that if he'd had a condom in his pocket, he wouldn't have been able to maintain his self-control.
“I like vanilla sex too, though I'm not sure you can ever really have vanilla sex with a Dom.”
He caught the teasing in her tone. “You'll still have to ask to come.”
“I thought so.” She massaged his hand a little, but he didn't miss the sadness she tried to mask. “A spanking or a whipping keeps me calm and focused. It's not just a momentary physical euphoria. It lets me know without a hint of a doubt that I can handle anything that comes my way, and it reminds me that I have someone strong standing behind me, ready to catch me if I fall.”
He maneuvered his small car into the only empty space in the small lot. Turning to face Darcy, he extricated his hand and cupped the side of her face. “You are a strong woman.”
“I know.” No smile touched her lips, but she didn't try to break eye contact. “But it's a lot easier to be strong when you know someone's in your corner. Theo, I don't want you to think that I expect you to replace Scott or that I'm with you because you're a Dom who came along when I really needed somebody.”
Malcolm leaped on her pause. “Darcy, I won't pretend this situation isn't complicated.” He had more to say, but she held a silencing finger to his lips.
“I like you. I like talking on the phone with you and going out to dinner. I like that you
came over today and took me out when any other man would have tossed me over his shoulder and ran up the stairs. Last weekend I could barely remember the last time my smile was real. In one week, you've made me remember what it's like to feel joy. Thank you.”
Oh, he was totally fucked. The bald honesty of her admission hit him like a ton of bricks. She was falling in love with him. Real love, not the rebound kind that burned hot and fast. He had no doubt she would hate him when she found out the truth, and it would take an extraordinary man to heal the emotional scars Malcolm would leave etched on her soul. He had to lay the groundwork right so the foundation of what they were building could withstand the coming storm.
For now he couldn't say anything to warn her away. He needed her for his case. Victor had gone through a lot to make sure the two of them worked together. The man had gone out of his way to point out that he knew Malcolm was a Dom and that he had dominated Darcy.
Words failed him, so he just kissed her with all the passion and tenderness in his heart. He tasted her tongue and nipped at her lips. When at last he pulled away, he clicked the button to release her cuffs.
DARCY WATCHED THE cuffs disappear into the glove box. Wearing them hadn't been at all traumatic. Even discussing such personal things as why she liked being whipped and her relationship with Scott didn't send her into any kind of panic. In the past eight months, she hadn't discussed Scott with anyone except Layla. Even with Layla, she kept her statements general.
She reflected on Theo's vastly different approach to introducing her to bondage. By starting small, he made it seem almost innocuous. He'd said it was important to him. For that reason alone, she wanted to beat the irrational panic that gripped her whenever she was restrained.
But if he thought she wouldn't push his boundaries too and explore his aversion to anything touching his anus, he was living in a fantasy world.
Re/Bound Page 12
