The
List
by
Chantal Fernando
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CHANTAL FERNANDO
Published May 2017
Cover design © Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs
Edited by Hot Tree Editing
Proof read by Susan Child
THE LIST is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offense to the content, as it is FICTION.
Trademarks: This book identifies product names and services known to be trademarks, registered trademarks, or service marks of their respective holders, The authors acknowledges the trademarked status in this work of fiction. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Copyright © 2017 Chantal Fernando
All rights reserved.
Table of Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Playlist
Reader’s Note
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Epilogue
Dedication
I don’t know how you got to me,
But you did.
My heart is not one easily pierced.
It’s strong, rough, and covered in barbed wire.
But for you,
Oh for you,
It turned into something else entirely.
You have me,
If you want me.
And even if you don’t.
“I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference.”
― Ernest Hemingway
Acknowledgements
A big thank you to Arijana Karcic at Cover It! Designs for your amazing talent and friendship. I love you.
To Rose Tawil—Thank you so much for everything. I wouldn’t be able to function without you! You are one of the best souls I’ve ever come across.
My beta readers Leeann Wright and Eileen Robinson--thank you so much for your help. I appreciate you both!
Hot Tree Editing—Thank you for being so wonderful to work with.
To my bestie Natalie Ram—Thank you for being the ultimate beta reader, proof reader, and helping me whenever I need it, even though you’re super busy being your own girl boss. I love you so very much.
To my sons—Thank you for being so wonderful and understanding when Mama has to work. I hope that I’m showing you through my actions that dreams can come true, and if you work hard enough, anything is possible. I love you three more than anything and anyone.
Playlist:
Issues - Julia Michaels
Mercy - Shawn Mendes
Talking Body - Tove Lo
Final Song - MO
Don’t Leave - Snakehips
Bad Things - Camila Cabello, Machine Gun Kelly
Don’t Let Me Be Yours - Zara Larsson
I Can’t Fall in Love Without You - Zara Larrson
Can I Be Him - James Arthur
Liability - Lorde
We Don’t Talk Anymore - Charlie Puth, Selena Gomez
Now or Never – Halsey
Reader’s Note:
Although some events in this book are fictional, it is loosely based on a true story. We enjoy writing and reading stories about perfect people who do perfect things, but the reality can be the opposite. Human beings are not perfect and changing these characters would result in a completely fictional story. I tried to find a balance between staying true to the story, and giving readers something they can connect with.
I hope you love it.
Chapter One
Taye
Bringing the straw to my sultry pink lips, I glance over the dance floor as the cool liquid hits my tongue. I swallow and smile, closing my eyes as the alcohol hits me, feeling the perfect amount of tipsy. Right now, in this moment, I have nothing to worry about.
I love these moments.
They are few and far between.
Tomorrow, that’s when I’ll worry about everything else, but tonight?
Tonight is for me.
“I love this song,” my friend Keisha says next to me, swaying from side to side in rhythm with the music. She grabs my arm and nods towards the dance floor. “Let’s go dance, Taye.”
I love to dance.
As long as they play good music, I could dance here all night, not leaving the dance floor for anything except maybe a drink. I’m an introvert, and generally shy, but when I dance, I don’t care who watches. Perhaps I’m an outgoing introvert? Keisha once said that I’m shy until you get to know me, but once you do, you’ll find out that I can be a little wild. I think she’s right. I do have a hidden wild side, but I don’t share it with just anyone. There’s a part of me that wants to be wild, to be free, and recently, I’ve been trying to let that part out a little more. I don’t know why I buried it in the first place.
I finish the last of my drink, place it on the bar, and then let her lead me to the floor, swaying my hips with each step. When she pulls me up on the podium with her, I don’t think anything of it. It’s not a place I haven’t been a hundred times before; in fact, I feel comfortable up here. Is that the true nature of a dancer? I might be shy in every other aspect of my life, but when I dance, I feel a confidence that makes me powerful, and add in alcohol and it creates a delicious mix. Everyone watches us dance, and I don’t mind. I don’t pay anyone any attention; I’m kind of in my own world right now. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I dance with Keisha with a synchrony that only people who dance with each other often can have. I know the way she moves and she knows how I move in return.
A few songs later, she goes to get a drink but I decline, staying behind to continue dancing. A random girl I’ve seen around comes and dances with me, not as close as Keisha does, and I like that she keeps her space. Hands in the air, I do a body roll, then swivel my hips in a delicious grind. Turning to face the dance floor whilst still moving, I’m scanning the crowd when I lock eyes with a man standing in front of the stage. He looks up at me, his lips kicking up at the corners. He’s good-looking. My type, even so, I smile back shyly, ducking my head, and looking away. When I meet the gaze of the girl I’m dancing with, she smiles and tells me, with a nod towards him, “He’s a good guy.”
How does she know that, I wonder? If they’re friends, they’re not acting like it. Or is she trying to be a wing woman? I guess drunk people say all
kinds of shit, right?
I decide to ignore her comment.
When Keisha still doesn’t return, I step down off the stage and go in search of her. I don’t see her at the bar, so I assume she went out for a smoke.
“Hey, Taye,” Jacob says to me, smiling. I smile and nod at him, and then give his brother Matt a quick hug, because I know him more. These boys are younger than me, and I wouldn’t exactly call them friends; maybe acquaintances. The only reason I know them is because they are friends with my younger brother, and while they are good for a laugh, they will also hit on anything that walks.
Me included.
“Hey, long time no see,” I say, grinning. “How have you been?”
“Not bad,” Matt replies, as Jacob gives me a once-over that I don’t miss, but choose to ignore. They are harmless, and I think they know they have no chance, which is probably why they like to try. I tend to stick to myself, and they know this. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think I’m better than anyone, it’s just that I know what I like, and they aren’t it.
“This is Eli,” he says, as the man I was checking out on the dance floor comes up next to him.
“Hello, miss,” he says, and flashes me a full-fledged, panty-dropping smile.
That smile.
It’s devastating.
No, really.
It hits me right in the stomach.
It’s cocky, it’s knowing, but it’s also genuine. I don’t know how it can be all of these things, but it is. Instantly, I’m intrigued. Who is this guy? I’ve never seen him before. If I had, I would have remembered.
I take him in again.
He’s tall, perfectly so, with a nice build. Dressed in jeans, and a long-sleeved black T-shirt. Muscled and toned, but not too bulky, more in an athletic way. With his thick head of short, dark, curly-ish hair, and a beard that I want to run my fingers through—I don’t think my mind could come up with a sexier man if I tried. Where the hell did he come from?
I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about him. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at me, those blue eyes working, kind of like he’s planning exactly what he wants to do to me.
Like he knows exactly what to do with me.
Fuck.
My body wants him, that’s for sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to her. She doesn’t always get what she wants. I’ve never had a one-night stand before, not in all of my twenty-nine years. I’ve always struggled with instant attraction, and I think that’s why online dating is sometimes easier for me, because I can get to know them a little better, get a taste of their mind before I meet them.
“Hello,” I say, smiling back at him.
I hold his eyes for a few moments, then return them to Matt while Eli heads to the bar to get a drink.
“How do you know him?” I ask Matt, so only he can hear.
“Why? Interested?” he asks, arching a brow. “He’s a good friend of mine.”
Does that mean he’s from here?
I live in a small town, and I’m a private person. Generally, the two don’t mix, but I try and keep my business to myself and stay away from the local men. Most of them don’t know how to keep their mouths shut.
“Just curious,” I mutter, smiling as Eli returns..
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, his voice as delicious as the rest of him. My gaze drops to his lips.
I clear my throat and shake my head. “No, thank you.”
I don’t think I need any more alcohol. Keisha and I probably shouldn’t have had so much before we left the house. Whenever we’re together though, shots always seem like a good idea.
They never are.
However, I like that he asked. He goes to the bar, and I can’t help but watch his movements.
“He wants you,” Matt says, studying me, a smirk playing on his lips. “He’s a good guy.”
Why does everyone keep saying that to me? What makes him so good, exactly?
I ignore his comment, rolling my eyes. Eli, drink in hand, comes back to stand next to me.
“Having a good night?” he asks, studying me.
“Not bad. You?” I ask in return.
“Pretty good,” he says, scanning the club. “I’ve been in town for a few weeks but this is my first night coming out.”
“Where are you from?” I ask, happy to finally be getting some answers.
“Over east,” he replies, and if he’s not from here, I have to wonder how the hell he knows everyone.
Did he just move here? If so, the women are going to be lining up to get him.
“Are you just here for work?” I probe further, wanting to know every detail I can about this man.
He nods. “Yeah.”
I see. Well, actually, no, I don’t. Maybe he just made friends with everyone while he was here and that’s how they all know him? I don’t know. Maybe he’s stationed here for work for a long period of time.
A good song comes on and I look around for Keisha. When I don’t see her I smile at Eli and tell him I’m going to dance.
“You should give him a chance, Taye,” Matt says so only I can hear.
I ignore Matt and make my way back to the dance floor, where I start to dance by myself. I just want to dance. I don’t want to deal with anything else right now. Eli approaches me. There’s an intensity and confidence about him I don’t know what to do with. It’s like I either need to embrace it or get away from it.
There’s no in-between.
“Hey,” I say, flashing him a grin. I can be standoffish at times, but I can also be a total flirt if I feel like it. I think a lot of how I react depends on the other person. I feed off their vibes.
He says something to me, and I’m sure the word was “Trouble.”
Trouble? Me?
If anyone is trouble here, it’s not me.
“What’s your name?” he asks me, stepping closer. Close up I can see that his beard has streaks of brown and blond going through it. I like it.
“Taye,” I reply, lip twitching as he offers me his hand. I take it, and he pulls me even closer, so close that our bodies are almost touching, but not quite. We start to dance. He keeps his eyes on mine the whole time, something passing between us, although I’m not sure what it is exactly. Lust? Attraction? I’ve never experienced instant chemistry and a connection before, but I think this must be it. I don’t get it. I’ve been around a lot of good-looking men before, but none that have drawn me so much. I just met him, and I want him.
Someone bumps into me from behind, and without looking, I kind of nudge them out of the way. Okay, I might have pushed them. Eli sees that, smirks, and then spins me around so it’s his back to the pushy guy, not mine, and then starts to dance again. I grin. He does a move that makes me laugh, and I can’t help but throw my head back. His playfulness is contagious, and I decide to teach him a lesson by pressing my breasts against his chest and doing a body roll against him. This has turned into our own little dance battle, and I sure as hell am not going to lose. I start to grind my hips in a circle, running my fingers through my hair seductively.
I don’t miss the widening of his blue eyes.
“That’s not fair,” he says to me, shaking his head.
“Never said I’d play nice,” I reply, flashing him an easy grin.
He smiles, and then lowers his mouth to kiss me, and I don’t stop him.
Why don’t I stop him?
I close my eyes and all but fall into him, surrendering myself instantly. His lips work against mine, tasting, testing, his hands now on my hips, his grip tight.
I’ve only ever kissed one other guy in this nightclub, and that ended up being one huge, embarrassing mistake.
But this kiss is not a mistake.
No, it’s everything a kiss should be.
His tongue touches mine, and I lift up on my tiptoes to get closer to him; I need to be closer. I need more. I’ve never felt more alive, I don’t know how else to explain it. My head is dizzy,
and not just from the alcohol, it’s something else.
It’s him.
I don’t know if this means I win or lose the battle, but right now I don’t give a fuck.
Chapter Two
Next thing I know, I’m at the bar again, Eli is getting another drink, which I decline again, and Keisha is wandering over to me, an amused look on her face. She tucks her blonde hair behind her ear before she starts in on me. “I leave you alone for ten minutes.”
“It was longer than that,” I point out, mainly because I have no other comeback. “Do you want a drink?”
I suddenly need another one, because it’s extremely hot in here. I shift on my feet, then glance to the bar where Eli is sipping on some sort of amber liquid. Keisha agrees to another drink, so I order us two tequila shots. I can only drink clear spirits. Vodka, tequila, hell, even gin if I’m desperate, but whiskey and scotch or anything like that is a big no for me. I once tried to down a shot of whiskey on a date, and spat it out all over myself. Wasn’t one of my finest moments. Eli’s eyes catch mine again, and it’s me who looks away. Why does he look at me like he can see through me? Like he knows my deepest, darkest secrets, like he wants them to come out and play. I’ve never had a stranger look at me in this way before, and it’s both enthralling and terrifying. I look back at him. God, why does the man have to be so fucking hot? And why do I want to go over there and stand with him? I want his hands on me again, his mouth. God, that mouth. He tasted so good, and his lips—they fit mine just a little too perfectly.
Matt comes and stands in front of me, blocking my view of Eli. How rude. I try and look over him, but Matt narrows his eyes on me, so I bring my shoes back to the ground and do my shot with Keisha instead, licking the salt off my hand, swallowing the tequila, then sucking on the lemon.
“You should come home with me tonight,” Matt says, making me almost choke on the slice of lemon. He just saw me checking out Eli, and now he’s asking me to go home with him? I will never understand men.
The List Page 1
