by Ana E Ross
“Well, that’s good to know since one of the requirements of this job is that you sign a five-year contract.”
Michelle balked. “A five-year contract?”
“If that’s a problem let me know now. As I said earlier, I can’t take the chance of another nanny walking out on my daughter. In five years, she’ll be twelve and probably won’t need a nanny anymore.”
Michelle stared into her coffee mug again. She really had nothing else planned for the next five years. So what the heck? “Okay, I’m yours for five years.” By that time, she should have her own life back on track and ready to move on. It was a win-win situation.
Erik surveyed her quietly for a moment. The fact that she was unattached and available didn’t make him feel any better. It just sealed his fate. He could have her if he wanted her. And he did want her, more than he cared to admit. He pushed back his chair and stood up. “Very well, then, if you’ll come with me to the study, I’ll give you Precious’ itinerary. She’s a busy little girl. I hope you can keep up with her.”
“I better.”
A slow smile crawled across his face. “You won your bet. The Jaguar is yours. Just be gentle with it, and make sure Precious is buckled up in the back seat at all times.”
“Yes, sir,” she said with a big grin and a soldier’s salute.
Erik’s heart did a somersault in his chest. That smile, those dark magnetic eyes, and those luscious lips were going to do him in.
***
“Can I have some Gummy Bears, Michelle?” Precious asked as the two walked down an aisle in the grocery store where Michelle had stopped to pick up her favorite treats.
“And some Oreos. They are my favorite.”
“Anything you want.” Michelle smiled down at the little girl’s wind-blown hair and soiled clothes, evidence that she’d enjoyed her day.
Precious’ schedule was filled with activities—ballet, music, swimming, theater, and horseback riding, not to mention two hours of reading every day. They were all noteworthy activities, mind you, but it was summertime, and a child ought to be able to relax and enjoy life for a couple months out of the year. And beside, Precious was scared of horses. But her father was too wrapped up in himself to notice.
Michelle believed Erik loved his daughter and wanted the best for her, but knowing that some of the best things in life were free and spontaneous, she’d ignored the itinerary. Since she had to go to Manchester to get the rest of her stuff from Yasmine’s apartment, she saw no harm in canceling Precious’ classes and taking the little girl to her old neighborhood playground where she spent a couple hours playing with Yasmine’s nephew, Peter, and some other kids.
Michelle knew she might catch hell from Erik for her impetuous behavior, but what was done was done. The important thing was that Precious had a great time, and she’d found a new friend in Peter.
“Grandma! Grandma!”
“Wait, Precious!” Michelle raced after the vanishing figure and turned a corner to see Precious enveloped in the arms of a woman who looked young enough to be her mother.
“How’s my favorite granddaughter?” she said, grinning at Precious.
So this was Erik’s mother?
“I’m your only granddaughter, Grandma.” Precious giggled.
“Yes, you are. But you’d still be my favorite even if I had a hundred.”
“Oh, Grandma.”
The woman stared at Michelle. “Is this your new nanny?”
“Uh-huh. Her name is Michelle.”
A subtle smile lit her face as she lowered Precious to the floor. She held a hand out to Michelle. “I’m Felicia, Erik’s mother.”
“Hello, Mrs. LaCrosse.”
She chuckled. “No dear, I’m not Mrs. LaCrosse. It’s Felicia Ryce, but you can call me Felicia.”
Erik’s mother was tall, with bouncy, black shoulder-length hair. She didn’t look anything like a grandmother at all. She was classy and beautiful with a face that reminded Michelle of Diahann Carroll. Her smile was warm and genuine, as was her handshake. But why was her name Ryce and not LaCrosse like Erik’s? Precious had told her about her two grandmas, Felicia and Danielle. She knew Erik’s father was married to Danielle and living in the resort mountain town of Granite Falls. She’d assumed that Felicia had kept her married name after divorcing Erik’s father—lots of women did that. Perhaps she’d remarried to somebody named Ryce… No, there was no ring on her finger, so…
“How do you like the job so far?” Felicia asked.
“I just started yesterday and I’m tired already,” Michelle said, giving the woman a wide smile. “Your granddaughter has more energy that a fully grown thoroughbred.”
Felicia grinned. “I know what you mean. You definitely have to take your vitamins to keep up with Precious.” She frowned as she inspected her granddaughter. “Why is she so dirty? She looks like she needs a good scrubbing.”
“I went to the park, Grandma. And it was so much fun, and I met Yasmine and Peter. He taught me how to spit, real far. You want me to show you?”
“Not in the store, baby. You only spit outdoors. Aren’t you supposed to be at piano right now?” She directed her question to Precious, but her eyes were centered on Michelle.
“I canceled her lessons,” Michelle said with quiet emphasis. “She was out late last night and I thought she needed a day off from her rigid schedule. Erik said they stopped by to visit you.”
Felicia started laughing, almost doubling over with the humor.
Michelle frowned, wondering what on earth could be amusing the woman so.
“They did, and now I understand why he didn’t want to go home,” she said, sobering up a little. “Precious, baby, why don’t you go to the end of this aisle and get your grandma two cans of tomato soup, and a can of lentils? Take your time.”
She gave Michelle a whimsical grin when Precious was out of earshot. “I like you already. It’s about time a woman stood up to that boy of mine. My son is a wonderful man; he was a great husband, but Lord he could be so bloody demanding, has been since the day he was born.”
Michelle recalled the feel of Erik’s firm lips on hers last night, and his strong arms pinning her to his hard lean body as he kissed her into submission. He was indeed demanding. A shiver ran up her spine as she pictured herself lying beneath him, naked and submissive, as he took her, hard and fast. God, she didn’t even know she liked it that…
“When Cassie died, Erik didn’t have a clue what to do with Precious.”
She startled as Felicia’s voice pulled her out of her licentious daydream.
“So he signed her up for every extracurricular activity that came across his path. I’ve spoken to him, but he thinks because he’s her father, he knows what’s best for Precious. He couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I know,” Michelle agreed, wondering what the woman would think of her if she knew what she’d been thinking about her son a moment ago. “Precious doesn’t even like horses.”
“Cassie loved them. She rode almost every day until she got pregnant with Precious, and never after she was born. She had a new second love.”
Michelle guessed Erik must have been her first.
“I loved Cassie. She was a sweet soul, but too submissive. She never stood up to Erik. She wouldn’t even give him a good argument.”
Michelle’s mind wandered back to the previous night and the story Erik had told her about the night his wife died. If Felicia was right, then the late Mrs. LaCrosse must have felt awfully trapped in that car with her husband pelting her with questions. No wonder she wanted to escape. Michelle felt a bit of sympathy for the dead woman.
“I’m afraid Precious is very much like Cassie,” Felicia said. “She loves her daddy, and would do anything he asks. Holly used to complain about his high demands and expectations from her, but she was too scared to say anything to Erik, or do anything this drastic.”
Michelle stiffened her back as the enormity of her actions finally hit her. “You thin
k he’ll fire me?”
Felicia gave her that once over again. “Fire you? I don’t think so. Precious is the most important thing in the world to my son. He would cut off his right arm to see her smile. She’s smiling again, thanks to you. He wouldn’t mess with that.”
“It’s good to know I have an ace up my sleeve then.”
Felicia patted her arm as Precious headed back down the aisle toward them. “He isn’t going to like it, not one bit. He’ll holler and beat his chest like the dominant male in an ape colony, but you stand up to him, you hear?” She smiled lovingly at her granddaughter then crouched down to kiss her forehead. “Grandma has to go, baby. But I’ll be seeing you when I get back from my trip.” She turned to Michelle. “Remember what I told you,” she said and took off.
“Your soup, Grandma,” Precious called, running after her.
“Take them home to your daddy. He might need something warm to settle his stomach tonight.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Michelle’s heart jolted when she heard the front door open and close.
“Daddy’s home.” Precious jumped off her lap and bolted out of the family room. She hadn’t seen her father all day, and even though she was worn out from her day at the park and shopping with Michelle, she’d been fighting sleep until he came home.
Michelle remained where she was, huddled in the corner of the sofa, too scared that her legs would refuse to bear her weight. Stand your ground, she told herself, remembering what Felicia had said. Ever since she’d met Erik’s mother, she’d been rehearsing her explanation speech. Like Felicia and Yasmine had warned, it wasn’t the fact that she’d canceled Precious’ lessons that would upset him, but that she’d done it without consulting him.
She imagined he’d been too upset with her to even come home for dinner. Mrs. Hayes had been in the middle of setting the table when he’d called. He’d asked to speak with Precious, and judging from her responses, Michelle guessed he was asking her about her day’s activities. What was to be a scrumptious meal of stuffed roast chicken and artichokes dipped in butter had felt like wood and sand in Michelle’s mouth.
That was three hours ago. It was now past Precious’ bedtime.
Michelle looked up as father and daughter walked into the room. Erik’s eyes impaled her from about twelve feet away. Michelle stared back with uncertainty, but innate tenacity as she closed the book she’d been reading to Precious and set it on the lamp table.
Dr. Erik LaCrosse was about to find out that she was nothing like his late wife. Cassie LaCrosse may have been afraid of confrontations. Michelle, on the other hand, had been tackling them all her life. She’d never backed down from a fight. You do that in her neighborhood, and people would be standing in line to stomp on you.
She watched as Erik crouched down to his daughter’s eye level and brushed back some unruly curls from her face. “It’s past your bedtime,” he said. “Go to your room. I’ll be up soon to tuck you in.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She yawned and turned to Michelle. “Good night, Michelle. I had a lot of fun today. Can we go to the park again, tomorrow?”
“We’ll see. Sleep tight, honey. See you in the morning.” Michelle prayed she wouldn’t have to break that promise as she watched Precious leave. She pushed to her feet as Erik strode toward her.
“Do you have any idea how worried I was when I couldn’t get a hold of you today? I called home several times and all Mrs. Hayes knew was that you’d taken my daughter to Manchester. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
Michelle swallowed. “I’m sorry you were worried, Erik, but I called the hospital and they told me you were in surgery. I left a message. As to my phone, I forgot to charge it last night and it died. I’m sorry,” she reiterated.
“You’re sorry. You’re sorry.” The muscles in his neck pulsed with barely contained anger. “Who do you think you are to be changing Precious’ schedule on your first day here? You are her nanny, not her mother.”
“Erik, I know I’m not Precious’ mother and I’m not trying to replace her, either. But come on, you really think one missed piano lesson and two hours of reading for one day is going to have a lasting negative effect on her?”
“That’s beside the point, Michelle. You don’t make decisions for my daughter. You follow the ones I give you, not defy them. She’s my child! Not yours!”
“It doesn’t matter whose child she is, Erik. The important thing is that she is a child. One from whom you expect too much. You’ve overloaded her with swimming, dance, equestrian, and music lessons. The child doesn’t even have a day off to relax and be a kid. And now you went and signed her up for the summer theater—acting lessons. She doesn’t want to be an actress. She just wants to be a kid.”
His hands balled into fists and his jaw muscles twitched. “Precious enjoys all those activities.”
“She hates them. The only thing she likes is ballet, and maybe music. She’s afraid of horses. Did you know that?”
He stiffened as though she’d struck him.
Michelle wanted to point out that Precious was not Cassie, but thought the sound of his beloved wife’s name falling from her lips at a time like this would be a grave mistake. “You made up this itinerary to keep Precious out of your hair,” she said. “She goes along to keep you happy.”
“I don’t want my daughter growing up without focus and discipline like you. And how dare you take her to that neighborhood of yours? You know what kind of...” His voice trailed off.
Michelle winced at the implications in the unspoken yet hurtful words, but decided to let it go. It was time for the doctor to face himself, deal with the real issue that was eating him up. She really didn’t want to cause him more pain or guilt. God knows he had enough to last him a lifetime, but Precious was a powerless child and somebody had to fight for her. Holly, according to Felicia, was too chicken to do it.
Michelle realized that he might fire her when he heard what she had to say. If that was the case, then so be it, because she knew in her heart she could not do a good job at taking care of Precious if things remained the way they were.
Michelle wrapped her arms about her stomach to stop the panic rioting inside her. Her voice shook as she spoke. “Erik, I know you think that what you’re doing is best for your daughter, but apart from last night, have you really spent any quality time with Precious since her mother died?”
“I have a demanding career. I don’t have much time to spend with her. That’s why I hired a nanny. I was just lucky my phone didn’t ring during the play last night.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Precious lost her mother and she’s scared she’s losing you, too.” Michelle knew exactly how Precious felt. She and Robert had done everything to win their father’s attention after their mother died. But it was never enough. If it weren’t for good neighbors like Mrs. Hayes and Yasmine’s parents, she probably wouldn’t have even survived infancy.
“You don’t understand.” He grated out between clenched teeth. “Cassie was my life, and some drunk came along and took her away from me. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Why don’t you stop feeling sorry for yourself, Erik, and concentrate on your daughter? Yes, your wife is gone, but your daughter is alive, and she needs you. Stop wallowing in self-pity and guilt and show her how much you love her.”
His chest rose and fell and his eyes glowed like a furnace. “Don’t you dare tell me how to deal with my grief. You have no idea what I’m going through. This pain, this guilt are eating me up inside and there’s no one I can talk to.”
Michelle knew she’d struck a raw nerve—probably one that hadn’t been touched for two years. She longed to tell him that he had her, that he could talk to her, but Precious was her primary concern. If she could just get Precious’ life straightened out, she would make time for Erik, she swore in her heart.
“Did you know?” she said in a strangled voice, “that the day your wife died, she was upset with Precious because she’d lost s
omething dear to her.”
His eyes clouded. “What are you talking about?”
Michelle paused, not wanting to go on, but knowing she had to. He needed to know how his daughter felt about him. It was the only way to bridge the distance between them. The truth hurt, but she knew it could also heal the pain inside them both. She shoved her hand in the pocket of her shorts. “Here,” she said pulling it out, and opening her palm.
He snatched the pink diamond bracelet from her hand. “Where did you get this?”
“From Precious. She has this little box where she keeps—things. I saw the bracelet when she opened the box to store my lucky penny.”
He spread the bracelet in his palm and held it under the light of the table lamp. It shimmered, shooting rays of pink across the room. “I’ve been looking for this. It’s the last Mother’s Day gift I gave to Cassie.” His eyes came back to her face. “Precious had it all this time?”
Michelle nodded. “That day, Precious took some of her mother’s jewelry from her closet to play dress up with her dolls. Apparently, your wife wanted to wear the bracelet to the party that night, and when she realized that Precious had lost it, she told her she was grounded until she found it.”
Michelle swallowed back a choke as he fisted his hand around the piece of jewelry and brought it against his chest. “Your wife left home that night very upset with your daughter, which is quite understandable under normal circumstances,” Michelle continued in as tranquil a voice as possible. “But, Precious never saw her again, Erik. She thinks it’s her fault that her mother left. She thinks she was a bad girl. That’s why she does everything you ask. She thinks if she makes you angry, you’ll leave, too. She tries so hard to please you, but you make it so difficult for her. She’s just a little girl who needs her daddy’s attention!”
The last statement was hurled from a place deep inside Michelle’s heart. A place where she’d lived as a child, constantly trying to please her father, but getting nowhere. Tears pooled in her eyes for the desperate child upstairs and the half-broken man standing in front of her.
