by Ana E Ross
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to have somebody you love lie to you like that,” Michelle said in an attempt to comfort him. “My little fib about my father was eating me up inside. I’m so grateful you forgave me for lying to you.”
Thinking about the irony of the matter, Erik shook his head. The thing is, if Cassie hadn’t deceived him, there would’ve been no secret, no conversation between her and Clayton for him to overhear, no suspicions, no fight in the car, no hopping out into the road at the very moment that drunk came along. And there would have been no Michelle.
“I don’t know if I would have forgiven Cassie if she’d told me the truth that night,” he said, stroking his hand up and down Michelle’s arm. “I don’t know if I could have stayed with her, even if I’d forgiven her. Maybe our love would have survived it. I don’t know. One thing I do know for certain is that I loved her and I did not want her dead.” His voice shook with sorrow. “Precious should not have had to suffer the loss of her mother. She should not have to grow up without her. That’s my biggest regret in all of this.”
Michelle stretched out beside him and laid her head on his chest. His heart beat heavily beneath her ears. His pain became hers. He’d been deceived by the woman he’d shared his life with. It would be hard for him to trust another woman again. Even her, who brought him so much pleasure.
So what if he didn’t remember yelling out his love in the heat of passion last night? The knowledge was alive in her heart. And just a minute ago, if she dared be presumptuous, he’d spoken of his love for Cassie in the past tense.
Erik eased Michelle gently against the mattress, leaned over, and gazed intently into her beautiful, compelling eyes. Eyes through which he could see his future. Children. Grandchildren. The cautious side of him wanted to wait until he got to know her better before telling her how he felt. After all, he’d known her for only three months. He’d known Cassie since high school, and look how she’d deceived him. He still hadn’t really known her. But his mother’s words, when he told her what Cassie had done came back at him.
“Erik, if it’s one thing Cassie’s sudden death should have taught you, it’s that life is short. You must make every second count, dear. If you love Michelle, and I know you do, you should tell her, and start a future with her right away. What’s the point in waiting when your heart knows what it wants?”
His mother was practicing what she preached. She and his father were already engaged.
Erik smiled down at the lovely naked vixen in his bed. His heart knew what it knew. Michelle was the only woman for him. “Michelle,” he said softly. “I remember yelling out that I love you last night while we were making love. The fact that I can’t get enough of you should tell you how I feel. But to clear up any doubts in your beautiful mind,” he continued, threading his fingers through the short silky stresses of her hair, “I’m helplessly, hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with you. I think of you all the time when we’re apart. When I’m with you, the world and all its pressures just melt away. Your smile gives me hope, courage, and strength. You make me feel like a man who can do anything.
“And this, right here—” He traced a finger down her throat, to her heaving chest, circled her breasts, then down her belly to the soft flesh of her Venus mound, “is the best this side of heaven. I do love you, with all my heart, soul, mind, and body, Michelle Juliet LaCrosse.”
“Oh, Erik.” Tears seeped from the corners of Michelle’s eyes. He’d finally said exactly what she’d been longing to hear for three months now. And she was too choked to respond to his poetic, romantic, heart-rending declaration of love.
Her heart beat heavily with requited love for him, but at the same time she feared what being in love meant. Especially since she hadn’t been completely honest with him about her father. Yeah, she’d fessed up and told him that he wasn’t dead, but she hadn’t told him that he was a drunk, that he was no different from the man who’d killed Cassie. “Erik, I—”
Erik bent his head and kissed the tears from her eyes. “I know you love me. You’ve said it often enough.”
Michelle cupped his chin and gazed into his soft grey eyes. Why spoil the mood with unpleasant talk of her father tonight? This was the moment for her to revel in the aftermath of Erik’s declaration of love. There would be time to talk later.
“I know you want to tell everyone that we’re married,” he said, circling her mouth with his finger, “but I just want to keep you to myself a little while longer. The local press will have a field day with it. I don’t want to share you, yet. Not even with my daughter. We’ll make the announcements shortly after we get home.”
“Okay, when we get home, we’ll announce our marriage.” And I’ll tell you the rest of the story about my father. She had to since they were going public with their marriage. She just wished Robert would hurry up and find something on Dwight Carter.
Erik fell back against the pillow, pulling her on top of him. “No more talking. I need some loving. Can you handle that?”
“I can handle that.” Michelle kissed him deeply and intimately, then feeling empowered by his love, she began kissing her way down his body. His fingers curled in her hair as she circled his nipples one by one with her tongue before tracing slowly down his chest to his belly. His stomach heaved on a groan when she dipped the tip of her tongue into his navel. His sex slapped against her thigh with anticipation, as she kissed the area around his groin.
Smiling seductively, Michelle kissed her way lower. She smelled his heat, his desire. It was poignant and it made her drool with the thought of taking him into her mouth. Just as her lips grazed the base of his turgid penis, he clasped the sides of her head and pulled her up.
Confusion swirled in her mind. Why wouldn’t he let her go down on him?
Gazing at her intently, he positioned her knees so she flanked him at the sides like a stallion. His eyes blazed with passion as his shaft throbbed against the crease of her buttocks like an agitated snake. He took hold of her hips and raised her slightly upward.
“Erik. Why… Ahh...”
She curled her back as he began to penetrate her. God, he was so hot. She braced her hands against his chest, closed her eyes, threw her head back, and trembled with pleasure as he forced more of himself inside her.
He tightened his hold on her hips, pulling her down as he swerved upward, time and time again, forcing her to take him completely. And when she did, he held her by her buttocks, locked around him like hot, wet silk. He rocked slightly from side to side, hardly moving within her now.
Michelle loved this technique that he told her was a favorite of the Tantric and Taoists. This glorious feeling of naked pulsing flesh meshed in mating euphoria was an infallible way to engender love.
“You feel so good.” He groaned.
Michelle’s eyes flew open. She stared at the box of condoms on the nightstand. “Protection, Erik.”
He pulled himself to a sitting position and wrapped her legs around his waist like a pretzel. “I’ll pull out.”
Michelle moaned as pleasure pulsed through her. “You won’t be able to, and as much as I want to start a family with you, I want to wait until I’m finished with the center, and my book. Get one chapter of my life completed before starting another. Then I’ll give you all the babies you can handle. Is that okay?”
Erik groaned again. “Fine. I get it. Just hurry.”
Michelle reluctantly disengaged her body from his and reached for the box of condoms. She pulled one out, ripped it open and rolled the thin sheet of rubber over him. Task completed, she settled her hands on his shoulders and positioned herself over him again. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.
“Oh, you’re so dirty, Dr. LaCrosse,” she said on a shudder and a blush. “I didn’t know the upper-class talked like that.”
“Neither did I, until I met you.” He laughed and guided himself back inside her. As she settled down on him, he sucked on her breasts, one at a time, making loud sucklin
g sounds like a hungry infant. Michelle clenched her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to contain the quakes threatening to erupt inside her.
They remained in this position for an eternity, kissing, caressing, pleasuring each other with their hands and lips then Michelle decided it was time to grant the request he’d whispered in her ear. She pushed Erik back against the pillows then passing her hands behind his head she grabbed on to the iron headboard. Lifting her knees and placing her weight on her feet, she threw her head back, and began to ride her man, slowly at first, then harder and faster, moving up and down on his turgid shaft like a rodeo cowgirl on a bucking bronco.
“Yes, baby, yes... Work me...” Erik wrapped his hands around her waist, buried his head in the sweet valley between her bouncing breasts, and growled his sweet appreciation as his brain exploded.
Erik never knew love or passion of this kind existed.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Having seen his last patient and having made his last round of the day, Erik gathered some pamphlets from his desk and dropped them into his briefcase. A smile curled his lips as he shrugged out of his lab coat and hung it on a rack. He was anxious to get home. He’d booked a hotel room for the night where he planned to propose to Michelle—bended knees and all. Then tomorrow he was sharing their good news with his parents and Robert and Yasmine during a family dinner.
He could just imagine the awe on their faces when he announced that he and Michelle had been married for almost a month. Precious would be happiest of all, he thought, his smile breaking into a grin. She deserved to have a normal life. She needed to know that Michelle was there for her, not as a nanny who could someday leave her, but as a mother who loved her and would be there for her, always.
He and Precious had been to hell and back, and finally he could see the light at the end of their long dark tunnel of despair. Their lives were changing once again. This time for the better. And speaking of change, he’d contacted the Chief of Staff at Granite Falls Memorial Hospital about rejoining the staff there.
His heart was longing for home. He wanted his children to be born and raised in Granite Falls. He understood that Michelle had ties in Manchester—the youth center especially, but he hoped she loved him enough to follow him to the ends of the earth. He couldn’t imagine moving without her, living without her in his life. But if she said no, he loved her enough to stay, with one slight change—they would have to buy a home right away. He wasn’t spending any more time than he had to in a house in which he was psychologically incapable of making love with his wife.
When he’d called Michelle earlier to finalize their plans for tonight and tomorrow, she’d sounded a bit worried he thought. She’d said that she wanted to talk with him about something important before they left for the hotel. He’d wondered if it were possible that she was pregnant. Even though they’d used condoms in Cape Cod, he knew those things were wont to break at times. He’d delivered many condom-breaking babies. That would be the happiest news she could give him.
Turning from the window, Erik walked back to his desk. He was reaching for his briefcase when the intercom on his desk buzzed. He stared at the blinking button, hoping it was not a patient. There was only one woman he wished to see tonight, and he didn’t want anything keeping him from her. He pressed the answer button. “Yes.”
“There’s a detective here to see you, Dr. LaCrosse,” the receptionist said.
“A detective?” His first thought was that something had happened to his daughter, his mother, or... “Did he say what it’s about?”
“Erik, it’s Garret,” a masculine voice said. “It’s old business.”
Garret. A cold hand twisted inside Erik’s gut. He really didn’t want to deal with old news tonight. But he’d asked the detective to reopen the case, so it was only fair he heard him out. He would either tell him he’d found Cassie’s killer or that he hadn’t, and was closing the case permanently. He was moving on either way.
He met the medium-built man at the door. “I didn’t know you made house calls, Detective.”
“Only for special friends on very special occasions.” Garret threw him a wan smile as he stepped into the office.
Erik closed the door. On any other day, he would have loved to stay and chat with the man he’d come to know quite well two years ago, but not tonight. “So what’s the news? Good or bad?” he asked with a bit of impatience.
“I’m afraid I have both.”
That cold hand tightened around his gut again. “Good news would be that you found the bastard who killed my wife. Bad news would be that you’re closing the case permanently because all leads have gone cold and since it can’t be both—”
“Erik, I found him.”
Erik took a deep ragged breath to combat the shaking in his bones. “What’s bad about that? We’ve all been waiting for this day for a long time.”
“It’s the who that makes it bad.”
Erik stared at the man, not understanding why he should care who the drunk was that killed his wife. “Just give it to me.”
“As you wish, but I think you should sit down,” Garret warned.
“I don’t want to sit.”
“Okay then. A few days ago, some new prints showed up in the database. They were from a recent DUI in Trenton.”
“New Jersey?”
Garret nodded.
“Did he kill someone else?” He couldn’t imagine another family, a husband and child living through the same horror he had.
“Not this time,” Garret answered. “He ran off the road and into the side of a cafeteria. Thank God it was after hours.”
“And why wasn’t I informed before now?”
“I didn’t want to get your hopes up, unnecessarily. I wanted to talk to this man. Make sure he is our guy. Since he was still in the custody of the local police, I took a trip down to Trenton.”
“And...” Erik spread his hands in impatience. He couldn’t believe that after all this time, he could finally put this nightmare behind him. The timing was so perfect.
“That’s the bad news.”
Erik’s heart beat hard and fast within his chest. “What’s bad about that?”
Garret glanced away, his expression growing even more somber than when he walked into the office.
Erik felt the blood drain from his body. He didn’t know what to expect. But somehow he knew he would not like whatever it was the detective would tell him next. “Garret.”
“When I questioned him, he confessed everything. Erik, the man who killed your wife is—”
“Is what, Garret?” Erik took a step and towered over the detective. “Who killed my wife?”
“Dwight Carter. The father of your daughter’s nanny.”
Erik’s heart dropped to his belly. He staggered backward against his desk. He took quick shallow breaths as bile rose in his throat. “No. It can’t be. Not him,” he mumbled, shaking his head in rejection. “It can’t be him.”
“I’m sorry, Erik. I wish I didn’t have to give you this kind of news. He’s already in custody. I could swing by your house and pick up the nanny tonight.”
Erik raised his head. “Pick her up?”
“For questioning. She’s an accomplice if she knew what her old man did and kept quiet all this time. I’ve contacted the Boston PD to take the son in for questioning, too. Come on, do you really think it’s a big coincidence that she showed up at your house for a nanny position? I mean what are the odds? Nil to none, I’ll tell you. It must have been guilt that sent her to you.”
“Garret, I wish you’d never come here, today of all days. I wish you’d never told me who killed Cassie.”
Garret tilted his head to one side. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m in love with her. I married her!” He pounded his fist on the desk.
“Oh boy, I didn’t know.”
The last think Erik needed was the pity he heard in the detective’s voice. He turned his back to him, trying desperately to hold ba
ck his rage. “Thanks for stopping by,” he said as calmly as he could. “And please, leave his children alone. I know them, and I know they would never be mixed up in anything so horrible. If they’d know, they would have turned him in.”
He couldn’t even thank the man for cracking the two-year old case. This day that should have brought him joy beyond compare had brought him more turmoil than he’d had before.
“I’m sorry,” Garret said again. “I’ll keep you posted with the details.”
When the door closed, Erik cleared his desk with one swipe of his hand.
“No! No! No!” Harsh sobs tore from his throat as he fell to his knees. Misery, far worse than the night Cassie died in his arms, tore away at his guts.
How could he have been so blind, so stupid, so trusting? How could he have entrusted his happiness and that of his child’s—Cassie’s child—to the very woman whose father had caused them so much grief?
Ice spread through Erik’s stomach. Michelle had told him that her father was dead, then she told him she’d lied, and that she didn’t know where he was. Was she slowly reeling him in, giving him a little bit here and there until she had him in her clutches? She knew it was a possibility her drunken father could have killed Cassie. That’s why she never gave him the entire truth. When was she going to tell him? After the birth of their first child when it was too late to end their relationship?
His body trembled as nauseating despair buried itself in his chest. All the times she said she loved him, all the sweet words she’d poured like hot honey into his ears, now made him sick. He had believed her, trusted her with his love and his child.
That was the ultimate deception.
He closed his eyes as the harsh realities twisted inside him like a sharp knife. He’d given himself to her—heart, body, and soul. The passionate intimate memories that only minutes ago had brought him such joy, now tasted like bitter gall in his mouth. He’d loved her, enjoyed her much more than Cassie.
As night descended upon the town of Manchester, as the stars popped out, one by one, shining brilliantly across the dark canopy of open sky, Erik wept as the blackness that had cloaked his soul for two years returned, hardening his heart toward love and trust and forever. The swell of pain was so powerful, the anguish so acute, he could do nothing but surrender to the sorrow that shattered his soul, his hopes, his dreams.
