by Asher, Adele
“All the time,” I said knocking back the Coke. “I don’t know. On the wierd-o-meter you’re about a 2 by L.A’s standards,” I said with a smile. “Unless you want to run around in a nappy and shit like that.”
“No…not really,” he said.
I gazed at him, trying to work him out, but then the answer seemed simple enough. For all his money and lifestyle he suffered the same basic problem most young people suffered in L.A.
He was lonely.
In a city of fleeting attachments everyone craved companionship. Some people just wanted pervy no-strings sex. But then some just wanted to cuddle up in front of their designer Scandinavian feature fire-place and watch an old film. He seemed from first impressions like the latter.
“So you’re lonely? That’s it?” I asked. He nodded. Slightly embarrassed. “It’s okay. I get it. That’s reason enough. Everyone needs a friend right?”
“Yeah. I guess they do.”
“Well, Mister Ryan Butler. I’m happy to be your friend,” I said clinking my Coca Cola glass to his. “But, I still need a job,” I said with a shrug. “And being your friend, I’d say this whole scheme you’ve cooked up with Marco is a pretty dumb way to solve your loneliness problem when all you had to do was take this little Chi down to Venice Beach boardwalk and you would have had me at hello,” I said with a grin.
“Yeah…Marco is…”
“Oh don’t worry, you don’t need to explain Marco to me. I know only too well. Come on then. Show me your beach.”
Chapter Three
We walked down the private staircase to the beach, a beautiful long strip of perfect golden sand with the azure blue waters of the Pacific softly breaking against the shore. The warm light breeze blowing against my face. I stared out at the ocean then closed my eyes and soaked in the slice of West-Coast heaven for a few minutes, instantly absolved of all my stress and worries, Ryan stood quietly, tactful enough to let me have my moment undisturbed.
I turned to face him. “So come on then. Where’s the catch?”
“What catch?”
“There simply has to be a catch.”
“Why should there be a catch?”
“You want to pay me to live here. In possibly the most beautiful house on the West Coast. Amidst your luxury bachelor pad and do nothing more than, I don’t know. Do your laundry and pick up some fresh muffins from the Seven-Eleven in the morning? There has to be a catch. I mean. Why me?”
“I like you,” he replied slightly bashfully.
“Why? All these gorgeous honey-skinned Victoria’s Secret bikini models on your doorstep and you choose little me, a British import from St Johns Wood.”
“Maybe that’s why I like you,” he grinned.
“Come on Ryan,” I frowned with a curious smile. “There has to be something more than a teenage crush to it. I mean seriously, you could have just rung Marco up and asked me for a date.”
“I guessed you’d be dating someone. Probably some actor or what have you.”
“No, well I wasn’t. And I’m not. Single for years. I’m your typical independent Leo girl. Nobody quite measures up to my exacting standards, and I won’t settle for second best. Being a good Catholic girl I won’t put out on a first date and I’m not easily impressed by fancy cars and expensive Italian suits.”
“So what do you like?”
“A man’s man. Someone who is passionate about something. Doesn’t spend all his time preening in the mirror. I like a boy who can make me cry and feel like a woman.”
“Not much then… so you’re a dedicated bachelorette?”
“No not really. I have the same dream most girls have. A big kitchen table, baking with the kids. Dogs. Just never seemed to happen for me, and besides, I wanted my career. I wanted to make it on my own two feet. That’s the thing about us Leos. We have a lion’s pride. We need to feel equal.”
“I understand that.”
“So, you didn’t answer my question. Why me?”
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. Honestly. I just don’t. You just have something, different.”
“Is it a sexual thing? I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m unattractive. I did make the FHM sexiest women list a few years ago, not that I’m bragging. Just saying…”
“You don’t need to be modest. As you say, you’re a Leo. Modestly doesn’t fit a lioness that well.”
“Touche,” I grinned. “So is it?”
“What?”
“A sexual thing?”
“Do I have to answer it?”
“Well no, you don’t have to answer it, but I’d like to know. I mean, for my own sense of curiosity. Don’t be shy about it. You’re a guy, you can’t help thinking with your penis. I’ve got four brothers, it’s what guys do. I didn’t spend 3 grand on having my tits done just so I could wear a bigger bra size. I would like to think I’m at lease marginally sexually alluring to the opposite sex. I’d be affronted if you were indifferent to my feminine charms.”
“Of course…of course I find you sexually attractive. Who wouldn’t?”
“Plenty of guys.”
“Well, they lack taste and discernment then don’t they?”
“I just want to make it clear. If it’s a sexual thing, then you should just come out and say it. Be honest about it. You don’t have to go round the houses with some elaborate scheme plotted with Marco to get me into your bed, because then I would be insulted, I’m not stupid enough to be fooled into bed. And I can’t be bought. At any price.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“So why then? Go to all this trouble?”
“I don’t want to embarrass you or make you feel bad. But Marco said you were having problems. I felt bad because you know, I didn’t want you to be having a tough time of it. To be put in a tight spot for some reason. And in all honestly I have too much money for one person and it just felt wrong. Knowing I was sat here with all this, and you were struggling to pay your rent. Because Ridley Scott hasn’t quite figured out your clearly amazing talents as an actress.”
“You flatterer. But I don’t want charity.”
“I figured that. So that’s why I thought, maybe you wanted a job.”
“So you invented a job.”
“Yeah, Okay. I invented a job. For you.”
“Why?”
“So you could keep that lioness pride intact and not feel like you were being paid off by someone who expected something in return, when it wasn’t. In retrospect, given the cynical world we live in. Especially this town where everything is supposed to have a price, I feel kind of stupid about it. You are right. I should have just hung about on the beach on the off chance you liked my dog. But then that’d make me feel like a creepy stalker.”
“As opposed to a creepy rich dude inventing jobs so I’d move in with you? Yeah, that’s so much better,” I said with an amused sarcasm.
“I see what you mean.”
“Sorry. I wish I could un-say that. I have a habit of that. That’s probably why I’m single and mostly get type-cast as the sexual-bitch predator. When I’m a little pussycat really.”
Ryan shrugged his head and sighed. “What a fucking mess.”
“What is?”
“This whole situation. This is not really how I would have wanted this to go.”
“Time for a rewrite then. How would you have wanted it to go?”
“Okay….Hi. I’m Ryan.”
“Hi Ryan. I’m Natasha. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. How are you?”
“I”m fine. Apart from not having worked in six months, being completely broke, facing eviction and possibly having to go home to live with my Mum in London. And having a nut job agent who wants me to go and work for some rich guy at his beach house. Nice weather isn’t it?”
“It’s lovely. Do you want to have dinner sometime?”
“I’d love to have dinner with you. Mainly because I’ve been broke for weeks and on a financially-induced diet. So I’m quite hungry and take a
ny offers of food I can get.”
Ryan laughed. “That’s brutally honest. You must be a Leo.”
I shrugged. “Very perceptive of you.”
Ryan smiled at me. “You know, I’m not sure that went any better.”
“Not really,” I said and grinned. “But it is the truth, and we don’t have time to go round the houses or I might not be here next week. What a mess we are in Ryan. Why the hell didn’t you ring up my agent all those years ago and just ask me out for a drink? Think of the life we would have had.”
“Missed opportunity.”
“Better late that never.”
“I guess,” Ryan said with a shrug.
“So we haven’t gotten to the bottom of this yet, now have we?”
“Of what?”
“The whole, friendship, employee, sexual-attraction thing. I don’t want to push it, but I’m at that age, and as we’ve already covered I don’t have a lot of time to waste right now on ambiguous situations.”
“I tell you what, instead of me making a right horse’s arse out of this. Why don’t you just tell me what you need? What do you want?” he asked me.
“Well, right now as it happens I do need a good friend. Things aren’t going well, since we’re being honest, and I’ve kind of lost hope of whatever dreams I came out here with. The lights of tinsel town aren’t shining so bright. I need time. How long…I don’t know, but longer than I have. As for everything else? I’m single and amenable, but you have to work for that, but you’ve made a pretty good start with the cute dog rescue story and the trying to do the right thing and not offend my pride with charity. So you’ve got ten points on the board towards getting in my knickers,” I said with a demure smile.
“How many points do I need?” he asked.
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“So are you going to take the job?”
“No. Yes. Maybe. I haven’t figured that out yet. At least I haven’t figured out under what terms we can make this work without making me feel sleazy about it, or making you feel like you didn’t earn my heart the old-fashioned way. That’s assuming you do earn my heart. Do want to earn my heart.”
“And how I do that?”
“Give all your money to the pet rescue charity. Every last penny. We’ll live in a box.”
“Okay.”
“I’m joking. I don’t care about money, I’d think exactly the same about you if you were a starving poet or a beach house owning gazillionaire. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like having the rent paid and food on the table. But it’s nice that you would. If you would.”
“Some things are worth more than money.”
“Like what?”
“Like the one girl you want but can’t have at any price. That’s worth more than anything I guess.”
“The sentiment of someone who doesn’t worry about money. If you were broke I suspect you’d be more worried about paying your rent than filling your heart with love.”
“Maybe,” he nodded and gazed at me.
I smiled a little. “You have gorgeous eyelashes. They don’t deserve to be given to a man. How did you get those? No fair.”
“They drive me crazy. Make it harder to put my contacts in.”
“You see well without them?”
“Not really.”
“Beautiful but a little broke then. Nothing is perfect in this life.”
“I guess not.”
“So about that dinner?”
“Sure. How about that dinner. Where do you want to eat?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I guess you must have some really cool deli where all the big Malibu hitters go and eat Pastrami and Swiss on Rye to feel normal.”
“We can go somewhere better.”
“No, I like little Mom and Pop places. It’s not how much you spend, it’s the experience….and the company.”
“Well we can walk from here?”
I nodded. “Sound’s good. I’m famished.”
Chapter Four
“So do you miss it? Life in the Army?” I asked Ryan to fill an awkward silence as we sat eating our late lunch in a small deli at the Malibu-Mart.
Ryan shrugged a little. “Yeah, I guess I do. They’re like your family. You live in each other’s pockets….go through so much, when it ends it’s like….I don’t know, life is never the same.”
“Action Junkie?” I asked.
“Not really, maybe when I was younger. Now I’m a peace and quiet junkie,” he said with a knowing wink.
I smiled a little. “Did you kill anyone.”
“It was a long war.”
I nodded, he didn’t need to say more than that.
“So what now? Where does Ryan Butler go from here?”
“I don’t know, I”m just trying to take it one day at a time and hope for the best.”
“You must have some dreams, ambitions, something you want to do?”
“I guess, take a rafting trip down the Grand Canyon maybe.”
“So you are still an Action Junkie,” I said with a grin.
“No, that’s more for the natural beauty of it. I’ve learned to appreciate nature having spent a lot of years sleeping under the stars.”
“Sounds romantic.”
“Not when you’ve got a dozen snoring, sweating, guys sleeping alongside you.”
“Well maybe not in that case,” I said and grinned.
“So what about you? Ambitions? Dreams?”
I shrugged. “Do well at my career. Win an Oscar maybe,” I said with a smile. “I’d settle for regular work though.”
“Must be a tough, not knowing one week to the next where your career is going.”
“Yeah it’s not easy, but then I was never cut out to be sit at a desk all day filling out forms.”
“Me neither,” Ryan replied.
“So I have to ask…”
“What?”
“How do you go from British Squaddie to billionaire. That’s a little more than a standard pension isn’t it?”
“Well I was an officer…”
“Even still…”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got all evening…”
“I don’t like to talk about money.”
“That must be difficult, when you have more of it than a small African state.”
“Maybe that’s where I got it,” Ryan said with a cheeky wink.
“Ooh, now you have to tell me. You can’t leave it at that.”
“Maybe when I know you better.”
“How well do you have to know me? You already asked me to move in with you.”
“Did I?”
“Yes. The job. Remember? The reason why I’m here….If you expect me to manage your affairs then it would be nice to know that I’m not doing the paperwork for an international cocaine baron.”
“No. I was one of the good guys.”
“I hope so. Well you don’t much look like a villain. No curly moustache and at least you aren’t hanging out in a converted volcano full of blokes in matching boiler suits.”
“That’s the holiday home.”
“Oh you rascal. You know, with the kind of money you’ve got. That would be quite believable.”
Ryan grinned.
We finished our light dinner and walked slowly down back towards his pad on the beach.
“So what do you want to do now?” I asked with a shrug.
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” he replied with a casual shrug.
“Your show Ryan. You’re paying the bills remember. I’m just your willing sidekick.”
“You don’t have any plans this evening?”
“Not really.”
“Well I guess we have to toast your new job then. I’ve got a bottle of something French in the fridge. Sun will be down soon.”
“Champagne on your balcony watching the sunset over Malibu Beach…now you are talking.”
We returned to the house, I took up residence on a sun lounger on the long
balcony as the sun began to set into an orange-hued sky over the ocean, a light warm breeze kicking up off the beach, perfect calm with only the sound of the ocean lapping gently at the shore. Ryan returned with a bottle of Bollinger in a sterling silver ice bucket and two champagne flutes. He popped the cork then poured two glasses.
“So what are we going to toast?” I asked.
“You choose.”
“New beginnings.”
“I like that. New Beginnings.”
We toasted, I sipped the delectable French liquid-velvet and felt the bubbles tickle down my throat, followed by the slightly-euphoric buzz that drinking really good quality French Champagne gives you.
“Mmmm. I could get used to that. How many bottles did you say you have?”
“Enough,” Ryan said with a grin, downing his glass then refilling it.
“So this is the life then is it? Sat on your balcony, drinking expensive French Champagne and watching the sunset.”
“There are worse ways to spend time.”
“True,” I said. I finished my Champagne and handed it back to him for a refill then smiled to myself.
“What’s amusing you?” he asked.
“I was just thinking how many girls in this town would be love to be sat here right now. And the fact you are actually coughing up hard cash for the privilege.”
“Maybe your time is worth more than theirs.”
I kicked off my flip-flops and sighed, sipped more of the Champagne. Seemed a delightful evening to get slowly trashed, so I relaxed in my comfortable lounger.
“This could be heaven.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“So what’s it like? Being stinking rich?” I asked.
“Stinking,” Ryan said and laughed. “I do shower.”
“You know what I mean,” I replied wrinkling my nose giving him a playful shove on his shoulder.
“I don’t know how to actually put it into words. I guess if you marry me you’ll find out won’t you?”
“Is that an offer?” I said with a demure smile.
“Take it as you wish…”
“Well where’s my ring then?”
“What ring?”
“If you are going to propose right off the bat you must have a rock the size of a small planet shoved in your pocket there somewhere.”
