"You said you've been nothing but trouble for your family, that maybe they'd be better off without you." His words were coming faster now, and he was more excited. "Well, me too. But maybe that's not our fault. Maybe we just weren't meant to be here like this. Maybe somewhere else, on our own, things would be better for everybody."
Everything Jessica had been raised to believe rebelled against what Nicky was telling her. She'd always thought people who ran away from home were losers, people who couldn't make it in the real world. Quitters. But in a way, she was drawn to Nicky's offer. She could see herself coming back to Sweet Valley a few years in the future. She would be independent, sure of herself, someone who had made it on her own without anybody's help. Then her family would see. Then they'd be sorry they had liked Elizabeth.
But even the thought of her twin's name woke something inside Jessica. She and Elizabeth had a bond no one else could understand. They had shared so much. Elizabeth would be hurt if she left, and so would Steven and her parents. Deep inside, in spite of how her family treated her, Jessica was sure they loved her, and she loved them, too.
"Nicky," she began, "I'm very flattered that you'd ask me, and it doesn't have anything to do with how I feel about you. But—"
Nicky broke away from her. "I knew that 'but' was coming."
"I just couldn't, Nicky." Jessica kissed him softly on the lips. "You understand?"
"Look," Nicky said, "will you just think about it?"
"Nicky . . . "
"Just think about it. That's all."
Jessica looked into his pale-blue eyes. At that moment she thought she really loved him. "OK."
Nicky smiled broadly. "OK. Now I'd better get you home."
Jessica noticed that he was still a little unsteady as he walked to the car. "Are you sure you feel well enough to drive?"
"Of course I do." He seemed a little hurt that she had asked.
Immediately Jessica felt sorry for doubting him. She didn't want Nicky to feel she didn't trust him, but she wasn't sure he should drive in his condition.
Jessica walked to the passenger side and got in. She reached behind her and buckled her seat belt, hoping Nicky wouldn't notice.
Nicky started the car and drove down the driveway, spraying gravel and sand behind him.
Jessica stared ahead in terror. The headlights flashed through the woods as Nicky gunned the car around curves at breakneck speed.
Although Jessica usually liked riding in a fast car, she asked him to slow down twice. But her requests were met with stony silence. It was as if he didn't even hear her. He just stared straight ahead at the road, breaking his concentration only to flick the ash from his cigarette out the window.
They came to a hill, and in spite of the solid yellow line on the road, Nicky pulled out to pass a slow-moving car. Jessica clenched the edge of the seat in horror as they approached the top of the hill. She couldn't tell whether the glow she saw up ahead was produced by their own headlights or by those of an oncoming car in the same lane.
The Mustang bounced over the top of the incline and was met by two bright headlights and a blaring horn. Jessica screamed as Nicky swerved onto the gravel shoulder. The car swung from left to right, hitting several bumps before flying back onto the road. Nicky said nothing, but the close call must have frightened him. Jessica breathed a sigh of relief as he eased off the gas pedal and slowed to a more reasonable speed.
They were entering the outskirts of Sweet Valley now, and the road was more familiar. Nicky leaned over the wheel to light another cigarette. He didn't even notice the stop sign that became a blur as they sped into the intersection. Just then Jessica saw a blue convertible coming at them from her side. She braced herself for the crash. Instinctively, Nicky slammed on the brakes and cut the wheel hard to the left. The Mustang spun a full one hundred and eighty degrees, missing the blue car by inches. Nicky fought to stay on the road, but it was too much for him. The car spun off the shoulder and the rear slammed into a telephone pole before it shuddered to a stop.
Jessica opened her eyes. She realized slowly that she was unhurt. The crash hadn't been that bad. She turned to Nicky, who seemed a little shaken. Without saying a word, he jumped out of the car and walked around to check the damage.
Jessica unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car. Nicky was kneeling by the crushed rear fender.
"How bad is it?" she called to him.
"Only the fender's bent," he answered, "but I can't pull it away from the tire."
Jessica noticed for the first time the cut above Nicky's eye. "Are you OK?" she said as she approached him.
Nicky got to his feet and touched the cut. "Yeah. It's just a scratch. I must've hit the steering wheel when we caught that pole."
"The other car didn't even stop."
"Lucky for us." Nicky kicked the dented fender. "All we need now is cops."
Jessica looked around. They were still some distance from town, but there was a gas station just ahead of them.
"What do we do now?" she asked.
Nicky kicked the car again and sighed. "Call my folks, I guess."
Nicky went back to the car and pulled out his jacket. He walked around to Jessica and threw it over her shoulders.
"You OK?" he asked her.
Jessica couldn't look at him. "Yeah. I'm fine," she muttered.
He put his arm around her, and they walked to the gas station.
Jessica sat in the backseat of the Shepards' car and waited for Nicky to open the door. The ride back to her house had been absolutely silent, which Jessica welcomed after all the yelling that had gone on at the crash site.
Nicky's father bore a strong resemblance to his son and seemed to be just as stubborn and quick-tempered. He never even gave Nicky a chance to say anything before he launched into a tirade. Most of it concerned the car and how much it was going to cost to get it fixed. Mr. Shepard never asked once if Jessica and Nicky were hurt. Nicky's mother said almost nothing. She just looked at her son, thin lines of disappointment edging her mouth.
Just before the tow truck arrived, Nicky's father turned to his son, his face white with anger. "This is the last straw, Nicky," he said harshly. "I don't know what you're trying to prove with this lifestyle you lead, but I know what you're accomplishing. You're ruining us financially and causing your mother and me nothing but pain."
Nicky looked at his father. His voice had the same loveless tone. "Don't worry. I'll be out of your hair soon enough. I'm taking off."
"Good," his father snapped back. "Maybe living on your own will teach you some responsibility. God knows we haven't been able to!"
That was the last thing they had said to each other, and now, as Jessica was waiting to get out of the car, she had no idea what she was going to say to the Shepards.
Nicky opened the door, got out, then helped Jessica out. She took one last look at Nicky's parents, decided against saying it had been nice meeting them, and walked away without a word.
Nicky went with her up to the door. "I'm sorry about all that. I should've let you drive. We wouldn't have been in a mess like this."
"Oh, I don't know," Jessica said, trying to lighten the moment. "You've never seen me drive."
Her joke got a smile out of Nicky. He leaned over and kissed her lightly. "Thanks. Promise you'll think about my offer?"
Jessica had already put the idea of going to San Francisco out of her mind, but she didn't want to tell Nicky just then. "OK, I promise," she said.
He smiled at her and walked back to his parents' car.
Inside, Jessica was relieved to find that everyone had gone to bed. She didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment.
She turned off the hall light and walked upstairs to her room. She got ready for bed, but it was a long time before she could get to sleep. The events of the day kept going through her mind in a mad whirl.
As she was lying in bed, the thought suddenly came to her of how close she had been to a disaster. Not just the car accide
nt. What would have happened if Nicky's parents had decided to tell her parents about the crash? She could just imagine her father and mother being dragged from their sleep to be told that Jessica had been in a car accident because her date was drunk.
They would have forbidden her to see Nicky. They couldn't understand him, not the way she did. Jessica could see so much of herself in Nicky, and in many ways, she really felt she loved him.
Suddenly her mind was filled with a romantic notion of the two of them in San Francisco. They would have a beautiful little apartment that overlooked the bay. They would have interesting friends, and Nicky would be a successful businessman, and after a while . . .
Whoa, girl, Jessica thought, pulling herself back to reality. No matter how you feel about Nicky, you can't run out on your family. How would they feel if you ran away? And all of your friends. Lila, Cara . . . how would it be never to be able to see them again?
Of course, Jessica couldn't resist thinking, they could come to visit on weekends. . . .
Jessica shook her head and rolled over. She had to stop thinking like this.
Tomorrow, I am going to fix up this whole thing, she resolved. I'll talk to Mom and Dad and Liz and Steve. We'll get everything out in the open, and soon, after they realize how wrong they've been about me, everything will be different. Tomorrow, she added as she drifted off to sleep, everything changes.
Nine
"Mom, Dad, I want you to know I'm tired of the way things have been around here. I know I've been the cause of a lot of trouble, and I'm willing to try hard to be a better person. But you've got to help me. You have to stop thinking of me as the old Jessica and give me a chance to change."
Jessica looked into the mirror as if she expected a response. She had gotten up early to work on the speech, and this was the best version by far. She took a deep breath, then headed toward the door. Her parents were downstairs having breakfast, and she wanted to get this whole thing over with as soon as possible.
Maybe I should run it by Liz, she thought to herself as she passed her sister's room. She tightened her robe slightly and opened Elizabeth's door a crack.
It was still very early, and her twin was in bed, sound asleep. Jessica stepped in and stared at her. Many things ran through her mind.
She thought about all the things she and Elizabeth had been through—all the history they had shared. She remembered how she felt the time when Elizabeth lay in a coma and none of them knew if she was going to be all right. And how awful it had been when Elizabeth had been kidnapped.
Jessica had to fight to hold back her tears as she realized that she had been responsible for both of those near tragedies. In fact, she had been responsible for almost every bad situation her twin had gotten into. Yet, somehow, Elizabeth had always managed to make it right.
Jessica closed the door silently. She couldn't bring herself to talk to Elizabeth about all this. Not yet. Maybe after she had smoothed everything over with her mother and father—maybe then. Right now, it was just too painful.
Downstairs, Ned and Alice Wakefield sat across from each other at the breakfast table. They were sipping coffee and talking as Jessica entered the room.
"Well," her father said, "you're up early."
Jessica smiled. "Good morning," she said brightly.
Her mother got up and put her coffee cup in the sink. Jessica smiled at how pretty she looked in the tailored gray suit she wore. "Just in time to see me off," Mrs. Wakefield said.
"You have to leave so early?" Jessica couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice. She'd really wanted to talk to both her parents.
"Yes," her mother said. "I've got an early meeting, and I can't be late."
Jessica forced a smile. "Sure," she said. She returned her mother's hug and watched as Mrs. Wakefield kissed her husband and breezed out of the room.
Well, Jessica thought to herself, I'll just have to start with Dad. I'll talk to Mom later.
Jessica put a tea bag in a mug and filled it with hot water. She sat down where her mother had been sitting, opposite her father. "How's the hearing going?"
Her father was reading a section of the newspaper and didn't look up from it. "Oh. Not too well. I'm afraid that in a case like this, there isn't much we can do. The law keeps visitation rights and alimony payments separate, so we haven't got much to stand on."
"Dad," Jessica began, "I want you to know—"
Mr. Wakefield continued. "The funny part about that is that the law tries to protect the kids, but it isn't working in this case. It's just giving the mother the right to decide who the kids see and who they don't."
Jessica began again. "I want you to know I'm tired—"
"You know, your sister is right. I think if we could just get the court to see that the kids are losing out, that they need their grandparents' love, we could win."
Ned Wakefield was so wrapped up in his court case that he didn't see the disappointed look on Jessica's face.
"What were you saying, honey?" he said distractedly.
"Liz is doing a pretty good job on the article?"
Again he didn't notice the flat tone of her voice. "She sure is. I'm really glad she had the courage of her convictions and decided to go ahead with the story. She's going to make a great reporter someday."
But what about me, Dad? Jessica thought to herself. What about me?
Her father checked his watch and swallowed the last of his coffee. "Speaking of running off . . . I've got to go." He jumped up and gave Jessica a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you later, honey."
Then, for the first time that morning, he noticed the look on his daughter's face. The conversation concerning Jessica came back to him.
"Is something wrong, Jess?" he asked.
Jessica fought hard to keep back the tears. "No, nothing's wrong."
"Look." He set down his briefcase and sat on the chair next to her. "If you want to, you know you're welcome to come along on Friday and watch the hearing too. I don't know how interesting it would be for you, though."
"Does Liz find it interesting?"
"Well, yes, but you and your sister are different."
Jessica didn't reply.
"Well, I just wanted you to know you're welcome to tag along," Mr. Wakefield finished.
Jessica didn't look up at him as he kissed her again. "Thanks," she muttered.
He smiled at her and walked out of the kitchen.
Jessica sat at the table and swirled the tea bag around in the cup until the tea was too cold to drink. She tried to tell herself that both her parents had very busy schedules and if she had let them know how serious all of this was, they would have stayed. She said it to herself a million times, but it didn't make her feel any better. She still had this gnawing feeling that if she had been Elizabeth, they would have had more time to listen.
She thought about the last-minute offer her father had made to let her "tag along" at the hearing. Jessica was willing to bet money that Elizabeth had put him up to that. Who were they trying to kid? she thought. If he had wanted her to go, he would have asked her in the first place. And he wouldn't have called it "tagging along," as if her going to the trial was just an afterthought.
Jessica was jerked from her thoughts by Steven's entering the kitchen. He was wearing an old warm-up suit and had a towel wrapped around his neck. He was obviously planning to go running.
"Good morning," he said to Jessica as he poured himself some orange juice.
Well, Jessica thought, I may as well try talking to Steve. After all, he and I haven't been on perfect terms lately. Maybe it's time for us to make up.
"Steve," Jessica began, "can I talk to you?"
Steven downed the orange juice in one gulp and checked his watch. "Look, Jess, can it wait? I want to get in some jogging right now. I'm playing tennis later with some guys, and I need to loosen up."
"You have to go this second?" Jessica asked, disappointed.
"Sorry," Steven called from the door. "We'll talk when I g
et back. Promise."
Jessica's heart sank. Steven was too busy jogging to talk to her. Didn't he realize how serious all of this was?
Jessica's thoughts were interrupted by the telephone ringing. She stomped over and picked up the kitchen extension.
"Hello," she said listlessly.
"Well, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed."
Jessica recognized Lila Fowler's voice. "Oh, hi, Lila."
"Is this really Jessica Wakefield?" Lila spoke in a mocking tone. "I thought maybe you had died or left town or something."
If you only knew, Jessica thought. "No, I'm sorry I haven't called. I've just been—busy."
"I talked to Cara, and she said she hadn't heard from you in a while either. What's up? You getting a new circle of friends?"
Jessica knew that last comment was a stab at Nicky, but she let it go. "No. Like I told you, Lila, I've been busy."
"Oh, well, excuse me," Lila said indignantly. "I just called to see if you wanted to go shopping today."
"Today—uh—" About the last thing Jessica wanted to do was spend the whole day shopping with Lila. "No, Lila, I can't today. I'm spending some time with my father," she lied.
"Oh, OK." There was a slight pause. "Jess, are you OK?" Lila asked.
"Sure. Why?"
"I don't know. You sound funny."
"Well, you know me, Lila. I'm a funny girl." Jessica tried to be cheerful, but her heart wasn't in it.
"Yeah. Well, give me a call later if you want to."
"Sure," replied Jessica. "I will."
They said goodbye, and Jessica hung up the phone. Jessica knew that for some reason she was pulling away from her friends. She couldn't figure it out, but now they all seemed childish. Maybe Nicky really was having an effect on her.
And maybe it isn't half bad, she added to herself.
Just then Jessica heard Elizabeth bustling around. Well, she would give it one last try. If anybody was willing to listen to her, Elizabeth was. Her twin had always been the closest person to her, and she seemed to know just what Jessica was thinking. Somehow, the two of them would be able to work this whole thing out.
Runaway Page 7
