by Lacey Legend
“What do you think, Tabitha?” asked Lily, the more reserved and thoughtful of the twins.
Tabitha shot a glance around the table at the adults for a little advice as to their preference as to what the twins believed, but couldn’t effectively gauge the correct reaction. She thought the twins’ innocence appealing and rare.
“Well I’m thirty and I believe in the spirit of Father Christmas and he came to me till I was twenty-one.”
It was true. She hadn’t lied. With a younger brother and sister, Tabitha’s mother had insisted the charade be kept going until her siblings were grown up enough to dismiss the idea of Father Christmas.
“I was always told by my mother that those who don’t believe, don’t get. If Izzy’s right about Santa only coming until you’re thirteen, it’d be silly to miss out on presents by not leaving him milk and cookies and a carrot for Rudolph tonight.”
The twins beamed at one another, looking suitably satisfied by the grown-up explanation.
“I guess the kids at school saying Santa isn’t real is the reason why they don’t get presents from him.”
“I guess not,” agreed Carmella with a smile. “Does anyone fancy a few board games before we have dessert?”
“Something simple. Not monopoly,” moaned Freddie. “I don’t want to be up all night.”
He threw a sideways grin at Tabitha.
“Well I do, but not playing charades with the family. I’ve other ideas you’ve given me from earlier on.”
Entering the lounge they split into teams pairing Izzy, Carmella and the twins against Freddie, Roger and Tabitha. It could’ve been a runaway win to the girls, but the twins were happy to help their new friend Tabitha and Carmella and Izzy were too merry to put any effort into winning. The three employees of Hastings-Bass took the contest more seriously and held onto the advantages offered to them by their less than competitive adversaries.
Midway through a charade the doorbell went. The entire group looked surprised.
“Carolers?” guessed Carmella.
“Santa?” Roger taunted his twin girls.
The second the door was opened by one of the hired help for Christmas; Freddie knew exactly who it was – Samantha.
She swept into the room with glazed eyes and a drunken stumble.
“Sorry old chap,” apologized Cooper, Samantha’s father, to Roger. “We weren’t due till tomorrow I know, but she insisted we come over now. I hope it’s not too much of an imposition.”
With a friendly expression, Roger assured his old friend it was a welcome surprise.
The two men departed the room with Carmella hurrying behind to check with the temporary staff that nothing major had to be implemented to accommodate the premature guests.
The twins went quiet and rejected Samantha’s over the top Christmas greetings. Freddie sat on the sofa, stunned and clueless as to how to deal with the situation.
“Are you pleased to see me?” Samantha goaded Tabitha.
“We’re pleased to see you not spending Christmas on your own,” answered Freddie for her.
“I came at your invitation, Freddie.”
“It’s a standing invitation, Samantha. You’ve been coming here for Christmas since before the twins were born,” said Freddie sharply.
“And I really wish she didn’t” muttered Lily loyally as she knelt next to Tabitha and placed a hand on her arm.
“Yes, but I know you went out of your way to ensure I got my invite this year when everything was up in the air.”
Freddie studied Tabitha’s face. She was poised and composed and civilized – he knew the coolness at Samantha’s appearance was a well-rehearsed front she put up in intolerable social situations. He was furious his father led him to believe Samantha wasn’t coming that night. All the hard work and tenderness he and Tabitha had invested in one another over the course of the day had been flushed away in an instant.
“Why don’t I take you to your room?” Izzy offered Samantha.
“I’m fine having a drink and chatting.”
“You’re drunk,” declared Poppy. “You sound weird and are being very loud. Izzy’s right, you need to go to sleep.”
“That’s not very kind. I don’t think your mother or father would like to hear you speaking to a guest in such a fashion. It’s ill-mannered, talking like that,” chastised Samantha.
“You’re one to talk about manners,” scowled Izzy. “If you’d had any grace or manners, you would’ve skipped our family Christmas entirely. You certainly wouldn’t show up at this late hour absolutely drunk with the purpose of creating a scene.”
Tabitha watched as Izzy manhandled Samantha out of the room. The twins were uncomfortable.
“We never liked her,” said Poppy boldly.
“We’re glad Freddie’s with you,” said Lily. “We think you’re lovely.”
Tabitha had to stop herself from crying. As sweet as the two girls were, it wasn’t enough to save her from the catastrophe that had unfolded in front of her. Not wanting to upset the family, she ate dessert with them and Cooper. There was a distinct change in mood. Cooper was clearly embarrassed by his daughter’s insistence that they arrive early and although no one said it, everyone correctly suspected Freddie hadn’t informed Tabitha that Samantha would be a guest over the Christmas break.
Tabitha had a sweet tooth, but even for her tastes she devoured the chocolate and clementine baked cheesecake in record time.
“That was divine, Carmella.”
“Sadly, I only organize the Christmas menu; for the cooking, I hire in help. Next time you come though, I promise you’ll taste my cooking skills. I do love the kitchen.”
“I might go to bed actually, if no one minds. I’m not feeling myself today.”
No one minded. Everyone knew why she was no longer feeling like herself. Tabitha was aware of their pity and it made her hate the situation even more.
She stopped by the lounge. Tabitha hadn’t left anything in there. She was merely searching for a quiet place to gather her thoughts before having to face Freddie in the bedroom.
“Tabitha?”
She turned round. The voice was too low to be Freddie’s. Instead her boss, Roger Hastings was there. He was dressed formally in a grey suit which made his blue eyes look icy and yet there was real warmth in his voice.
“I feel I should apologize.”
“Mr. Hastings, you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Tabitha, it’s Roger – here and at work. Cooper’s an old friend of mine. We grew up together and served in the air force as well for a time. That kind of history bonds you. His wife died many years ago and we embraced Cooper and his daughter, Samantha, into our home at Christmas so they wouldn’t be without a family. I’m afraid, I didn’t clearly think about the ramifications of my doing so this year.”
“Mr. Hast – Roger, I don’t expect you to change your family traditions on account of me.”
“No. You don’t, which is understanding and compassionate of you. I’m not stupid, though. I know Samantha is incredibly jealous of you in the office, I know she’s envious of the closeness...the connection you and Freddie have. I should’ve had the foresight to know she wouldn’t have been able to conduct herself as graciously as you. She came early to stir up trouble. I’d hate to think my clumsiness and thoughtlessness would affect your relationship with Freddie in any way. I should’ve told you both when she was due.”
“Stop.”
Roger and Tabitha rotated to see Freddie framing the doorway.
“You don’t have to lie to cover for me, Dad.”
A silence stretched between the three of them.
“It’s about time I took responsibility for what happened tonight, however much I appreciate your efforts to be the fall guy.”
Nodding his head respectfully, Roger quickly walked out of the room, giving his son’s hand a squeeze.
“I understand if you feel teary,” said Freddie, awkwardly placing an arm around Tabitha’s shoulders.
Her maroon, thick knit turtleneck maxi dress with a twisted waist and split running to mid-thigh at the back, oozed comfortable chic, but she felt frumpy and under-dressed in comparison to Samantha who’d appeared in a glittery, slinky party dress. The comfort of being pulled into him was welcome, but at the same time she knew Freddie had betrayed her. He knew Samantha was coming and hadn’t bothered to let her know.
“I was out of order for not telling you. There’s a lot to do with Sam that I haven’t told you,” he mumbled.
She remained a statue, but didn’t struggle away from his affection.
“We grew up together. We went to the same school, took a lot of the same classes. She was always around. It seemed like she was always there for me. I’d go off and do the things young rich boys do, make a million foolish mistakes and she’d always be waiting for me. I mistook her permanent presence as love. I didn’t love her, but in fairness prior to you I’d never loved any woman. I figured it was better to have someone secure around that I didn’t love, but cared about, than choose someone else unreliable who I couldn’t love. She’s never said it, but I think she felt the same. It was easy for us both. We got engaged after she started work at Hastings-Bass because it seemed the natural thing to do. We were both bored. The only difference was I was bored and faithful.
We split last Christmas after she went partying with an ex -, an ex-friend of mine and an ex-boyfriend of hers. She went out, bedded him and came home to me. I realized the only thing she loved about me was my family. That’s why she wanted to be with me -- to be a part of my family. She didn’t want to be with me because she loved me.”
“Now I know why you call her Sam and why you were taking business lunches with her when we first got together.”
“When we first hooked up she was begging me to get back together. I took her to lunch to say it wasn’t happening. I may have my faults, Tabitha, but I’ve never cheated on you.”
“Not in the physical sense you haven’t, Freddie.”
“Not even in my mind.”
“You still betrayed me, Freddie.”
“How?”
“This story. This explanation. It comes too late. I love you, but I don’t trust you. Clichéd as it is, there is no relationship without trust. You made me feel awful when I accused you of siding with Samantha in the office to protect her. You said I should’ve trusted you and taken you at your word. By keeping all this from me you’ve demonstrated that you never trusted me. Why should I react differently?”
“Because I realized a life without you was nothing and I hadn’t considered things from your point of view. I’d judged you harshly and cutting you out of my life for one tiny mistake would’ve been ruinous to my happiness – to our happiness.”
“This isn’t a tiny mistake in my view, Freddie. I gave you every opportunity to tell me. Even before we came to dinner tonight.”
“We’d just made love,” he hissed. “How inconsiderate would it have been to say ‘by the way your nemesis is sharing Christmas with us’?”
“How inconsiderate was it to have her burst in and see the shock on my face and mock me?”
“I didn’t want it to be like that,” he blustered.
“I know, but you didn’t want to step up, either. If you’d told me this earlier, we could’ve discussed it and I might’ve understood why. Right now I can’t justify your actions with anything other than cruelty or cowardice.”
“I’m not cruel and I’m not a coward.”
“No, you aren’t a coward. You proved that with your Dad. That leaves me with the fact that the only reason behind you doing this is cruelty.”
“You know that’s not true, Tabitha.”
“I don’t know you at all, Freddie.”
Freddie left her side to sit by the fire.
“Where do we go from here?” he inquired numbly.
“I’ll go home.”
Freddie stared at the ceiling, letting the words reverberate around the room.
“Can I help you pack or call a cab,” he asked, defeated.
“If you don’t have any objections I’ll stay out the Christmas period. I’ve no wish to throw Roger or Carmella’s hospitality in their faces and I don’t want to upset the twins. I won’t leave in circumstances that portray Samantha as a winner. You haven’t left me much, but I’d like to leave with what little dignity I have left remaining.”
“Whatever I can do,” said Freddie blankly.
Chapter 20
“Planning on sleeping in here,” asked Roger, entering the lounge room.
The lights were off, but the fire provided a dim light.
“No. Tabitha wants to keep things normal for appearances sake. I wanted to give her time to fall asleep before I came up.”
“Can I pour you a scotch, son?”
Freddie nodded. In a different mood, he’d have thought it amusing that he and his father were dressed in identical Hastings-Bass suits with differing shades of grey.
“Scary, isn’t it?” remarked Roger, passing a glass to Freddie and sitting opposite him.
“What?”
“Falling in love.”
The two men stayed silent.
“Did you love mother?”
“I did love her, but I wasn’t in love with her. When I met Carmella in the office. I wasn’t attracted to her because she was beautiful. I was drawn to her energy, her passion for the company, her admiration for what I’d achieved and her commitment to the future. It was the first time in my life that I found something outside of work that satisfied me.”
“Doesn’t say much about Izzy and I being sunbeams in your life.”
“What it says Freddie, is that I didn’t know how to love before Carmella. Once she taught me...”
“You started a family with her.”
“I didn’t want to, initially. I thought I could only love Carmella. Of course she took the time to let me learn that I could love more than one person, there were different types of love and that each special person in my life was rewarding to me on a different level.”
“Izzy doesn’t know that.”
“Isabella does know that. That’s why she’s unique and holds a piece of my heart no one else will ever claim. I messed up with you and Izzy. I regret it. I didn’t invest the time in the two of you when were young and after the divorce I refused to buy into Carmella’s vision of a blended family. Once the twins were born and their older brother and sister became so involved with them. It opened up the door for me to become part of your life again. You were so much more unforgiving than Izzy.”
“Izzy’s a soft touch.”
“Izzy’s a family girl. When I finally saw all the missed opportunities I’d had with my two older children, it was Izzy who left the past where it belonged. You didn’t. You treated me as if our relationship existed only because of blood ties. Izzy wanted me to be her father. It was all she wanted. I adore her for it and was thrilled to have a second chance to be the father she deserved.”
“It’s easy to adore someone who loves and asks for nothing back.”
“It certainly is, isn’t it Frederick? How often do you call your sister? How often do you initiate plans to see her?”
“I spend a hell of a lot of more time with her than you.”
“But you’re a man and you’re lazy and because Izzy is sociable, outgoing and bossy, we tend to let her take charge and go along with what she suggests – mainly because they’re great ideas. Ask Izzy if I’ve ever ignored her calls or name a time when I’ve failed to agree to meet her and I think the answer will surprise you. I can never come between the two of you. I know you acted as a parent to her when I should’ve been doing that role. You two are close as a result. Sometimes, Freddie, I think the only thing we have in common is a love of your sister and the fact that we work at the same company. I’d love it to be so much more than that.”
“Should’ve thought about that years ago when you insisted we go to boarding school and see our alcoholic moth
er in the holidays,” Freddie retorted childishly.
“I should’ve. I can’t turn back time. I accept that it has severely impacted on me developing a strong bond with you. Fortunately I’ve been luckier with Izzy.”
“What do you want, Father? Why did you tell Tabitha this situation was on you?”
“Because I don’t want you sitting here in fifteen years’ time, regretting an important decision that you could’ve easily changed. We can open a branch of Hastings-Bass in every country in the world, but it won’t give you a modicum of the happiness that I know Tabitha gives you. Don’t let work become your life. Open you heart up and take a chance.”
“I’ve done that, Dad. The end of our relationship is Tabitha’s call, not mine.”
“You opened your heart up, but you didn’t take a chance on her. If you did, you’d have told her about Christmas and Samantha. She strikes me as the kind of girl who would understand the history of the two families. The relationship will only end if you give up on it. Take a chance on Tabitha. Fight for her. Don’t walk out the instant she says it’s over. That demonstrates no qualities she’d want in a future partner.
Take a chance and show her the best side of you, Freddie. Don’t waste years like I did, when you can get it right first time. It would’ve been easy to keep Carmella as a mistress, stay in my safe marriage with two kids. I took a chance and separated from your mother. Now I’m as in love with Carmella as I was when we first met. I’ve got four great children and I love the work I do, but it took a long time for me to get there.”
“Why do you care? Why now are we having the father and son talk?”
“I care because I love you. We’re having the father and son talk because I believe you’ve found the right woman and you’re in love with her. I should’ve stepped in to help out years ago, but I didn’t because I was too closed up to appreciate the people who wanted to love me. This might be my only chance to ever interfere in your life again. Don’t just love Tabitha, let her love you back. Fight for her and be the man she knows you are.”
*
“Do you hate me?”
“No,” Tabitha replied to Izzy’s question. “I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me.”
