She was clutching his hand and couldn’t stop grinning. “This afternoon. I’ve been feeling lousy for a while. I assumed it was because of everything down there—” she gestured vaguely “—but when I missed my second period I knew. I flew in this morning to see my doctor here, and he confirmed it. I’m so excited! You have no idea!”
“I think I do. You’d be bouncing off the walls if I hadn’t pushed you into this chair. Hell, I’d be bouncing off them myself if I didn’t have to hold you here!”
She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. “I love you so much, Michael. Our baby is going to be so precious and bright and fantastic.”
He closed his eyes and wondered if he was dreaming. “I know it will. Oh, Dani, I’ve missed you so much!” His voice cracked and he pressed his forehead to hers. “This means you’ll come back to me.”
“I’d have come back to you, baby or no baby.”
He looked at her and his expression was urgent. “But you can do it now. Blake can’t expect you to suffer down there when you’re carrying another man’s child.”
“But I’m going to,” she said with no less urgency. “Don’t you see, Michael? The fact that I’m pregnant will help his case all the more.”
“You want to help him?”
“I want to be free of him! That’s what this whole farce is about. By sticking with him through the trial, I’ll be discharging the last of my responsibilities as his wife.”
“You don’t owe him anything.”
“But you know me, Michael. You know how I feel and what I’ve been raised to believe. This is the perfect solution for me. When the trial’s over and I leave Blake, no one can say that I didn’t do right by him.”
“Your father will.”
“Not when he hears what I have to say. And if he still insists that my place is with Blake, well, that’s his problem. I won’t feel any guilt.”
Michael sat back on his heels. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Guilt.”
She reached out to touch his cheek. “I don’t want anything to mar our marriage or the happiness we’ll have together and with our baby. If we do it my way, nothing will.”
He stood then and walked slowly across the room. “I still don’t like it. Maybe I don’t trust Blake. Who knows how he’ll react when you tell him about the baby.”
“He’ll be thrilled, particularly knowing that he is the way he is. He’ll love the idea of my sitting in the courtroom wearing maternity clothes. His lawyers will love it, too. The jury will be sympathetic. So will the press.”
“Hell, I don’t want you going through all that! The strain could do any number of things to you…or to our child.”
Danica wasn’t about to be deterred from her goal. “You’re thinking about my miscarriage, but I asked the doctor about that and he doesn’t see any problem. In the first place, I’ll be sitting at home doing practically nothing for the next two months, and by the time the trial comes, I’ll be past the critical stage. In the second place, the doctor saw nothing to suggest that there was anything wrong.”
“He didn’t foresee any problems last time.”
Danica left her chair and went to him. “Last time it wasn’t meant to be. Look at what’s happened since, and you’ll know I’m right.” Taking his hand, she placed it on her stomach. “This time’s different. I know it. I can feel it. And the fact that I’ve been feeling so awful is a good sign.”
“It is?”
She nodded. “The doctor said so. It’s when a baby takes well that a woman more often has things like morning sickness.”
“You’ve had that?”
“It was what tipped me off. But it’s nothing, not when I know its cause.” Her heart overflowed with love for both the man before her and the baby inside her. “I feel so good now. I feel so happy. You can’t be with me through that trial, but at least I’ll have your baby. Do you know what that means to me?”
He looked from one to another of her features, then traced each with fingers that trembled. “I know that you have to be the most wonderful woman in the world,” he murmured hoarsely. “I also know that the next few months are going to be absolute torment for me. Now I have two of you to worry about.”
Wide-eyed, she grinned. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
He held his breath for a minute, then chuckled and shook his head. “You’re amazing.”
“Another variation on ‘the most wonderful woman in the world.’ Kiss me, bud. I have to get back to the airport.”
He kissed her then, and again more than once as he drove her to Logan. She was high on happiness, and it pleased him to see her that way. The knowledge that he was both biologically and emotionally responsible for that happiness was some comfort, given the many misgivings he had about allowing her to return to Washington.
After landing at National, she drove directly to see her mother. She was still bubbling and knew she would have to settle down before she faced Blake.
The housekeeper answered the door. “Ruth, where’s my mother?” she asked, sweeping past.
“Upstairs, Mrs. Lindsay. She and Senator Marshall were about to sit down for dinner.”
Just then Eleanor appeared at the top of the stairs. “Darling! I didn’t expect you!”
“And I didn’t realize how late it was. But I had to see you.” Danica paused, and for the first time in hours her smile wavered. “Where’s Daddy?”
Eleanor started down the stairs. “On the phone in the den. What’s happened? You look…” She gestured eloquently with her hands.
“I am.” Taking her arm, Danica led her into the living room. “I’m pregnant, Mom. It was confirmed today.”
Eleanor turned to face her, her eyes wide with the very excitement Danica needed. “Pregnant? Darling, that’s wonderful!” She hugged her, then set her back. “What does Blake say?”
It hadn’t occurred to Danica that her mother wouldn’t immediately sense the truth. “Blake doesn’t know yet. I’m going to tell him in a little while.” The chill in her tone was a hint.
Eleanor stared at her daughter for a long minute, then let out a soft breath. “It’s Michael’s, isn’t it?”
Danica nodded, smiling again. “You have no idea how happy he’s made me. First loving me, then giving me his child. It’s exactly what I need to see me through everything here.”
“Have you told him?”
Again Danica nodded. “I flew to Boston this morning to see my doctor there.”
“You said you were driving to Virginia for the day.”
“I didn’t want to say anything. Not until I knew for sure. And Michael teaches in Cambridge on Wednesdays, so I took a cab over after my appointment. We didn’t have long to spend together, but I wanted him to be the first to know.”
“How did he take the news?”
“He was thrilled but worried. He’s concerned that the trial will be too much of a strain. He wanted me to go back to Maine with him, but I told him I wouldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“No. I owe Blake this much, Mom. You and Daddy didn’t raise me to be a stoic for nothing.” She squeezed Eleanor’s hand. “I’m so excited. Be happy for me.”
Eleanor hugged her. “I am, darling. Truly.”
“Is that Danica?” William’s roar came from the upper floor. Moments later, he was trotting down the stairs and joining them in the living room.
“William, Danica has the best news we’ve heard in months. She’s pregnant!”
“Well, it’s about time…again.” He leaned forward to kiss Danica’s cheek. “Congratulations, honey. At least Blake will have something to keep him going now.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” Danica said quietly, sending her mother a warning glance. “I have to run.”
“Blake doesn’t know yet, William,” Eleanor explained, realizing that her husband might well pick up the phone and unwittingly spill the beans. “Danica’s going to tell him tonight.”
“Special dinner, eh? Well, the
n, run along. He’ll be waiting.”
Danica kissed her mother, waved to her father, then was out the door feeling like a little girl going off to school. Of course, there had been only a handful of days when her parents had seen her off as a child. For the first time she realized that her resentment had passed, and she guessed that it had something to do with her improved relationship with her mother and the understanding that had come forthwith. At least Eleanor now saw her as an adult. She wondered when her father would, if he would.
But that, too, didn’t seem to matter anymore. Her father would always be her father, but, come trial’s end, she intended to live her own life.
Blake was at the door when she arrived home. “Where have you been? I was worried.”
She stepped past him and set her purse on the table in the hall. “I told you I’d be gone for the day.”
“You could have seen a doctor here. There was no need for you to traipse all the way to Boston.”
“I wanted to see the doctor I know. This town is strange enough for me as it is.” Looking in the mirror, she removed her hat and smoothed her hair.
“Well, what’s the verdict? Will you be well enough to stand by me through the trial as you promised?”
“I don’t see why not.” She turned to face him. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?”
She laughed aloud, partly because his expression held such disbelief, partly because she was feeling so very, very good. “I’m pregnant, Blake. The baby’s due in May.” When he continued to stare, she couldn’t resist a barb. “Aren’t you pleased? If I’m lucky, I’ll be into maternity clothes by the time of the trial. Think of how good that’ll look on your behalf.”
“I don’t need your sarcasm, Danica.”
She felt duly chastised. Regardless of the disdain she felt for Blake, he was going through a difficult time. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just that this is the best thing that’s happened to me in the last seven weeks and I’m very happy about it.”
He was scowling. “Is it Buchanan’s?”
She tempered a sudden burst of anger. “I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“And you didn’t bother to think about birth control?”
“Honestly? No. You and I were married for eight years before I conceived. I’ve never had to think about birth control.”
“Maybe you wanted it. Maybe you wanted his baby.”
“Subconsciously I assume I did. I certainly do now.”
“Does he know about it?”
“Yes.” She was prepared to tell him how delighted Michael was, but he didn’t ask.
“Who else knows?”
“That I’m pregnant? Just my parents.”
“That it’s Buchanan’s child,” Blake specified.
“Only my mother.”
“Are you planning to keep it that way?”
She couldn’t believe what he was asking. “Do you mean, am I planning on telling the world that this child isn’t yours? What kind of fool do you take me for, Blake? Why in the hell do you think I’m doing all this?”
He looked at her strangely. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.”
“There are lots of things you’ve never heard me say or seen me do, because I spent the first twenty-eight years of my life in a padded cell and the past two working my way out of it. I’m growing up, Blake. You—and my father—had better realize that. I have thoughts and feelings. I get angry when someone insults my intelligence, which is what you did a second ago. The fact is that I’d never be here with you if it weren’t for the trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“I didn’t get myself into trouble.”
“All right. The trouble Harlan got you into.…Did you think I came down here for the sake of some great love we share?”
His surprisingly meek “no” was more powerful than the most loudly shouted curse, because it reminded her once again that he was facing hard times, and she felt instantly contrite.
“Blake,” she sighed, speaking softly, “I’m here because I felt that my presence would help your case. Call it ‘for old times’ sake’ or whatever else you will, but I wanted to do it. For you, and for my father.” She smiled sadly. “Old habits die hard, but they do eventually die. While this one still has a breath of life, I’m using it to help you. A public announcement that this child is Michael’s is not going to help you.” The discussion had drained her and she spoke slowly. “Please. Trust me to do what’s right.”
His words, too, came slowly and held an undercurrent of defeat. “I guess I have no other choice, do I?”
“No.” She straightened her shoulders and moved toward the stairs. “I feel tired. I think I’ll lie down for a while.”
She was halfway up the stairs when he called after her. “Is everything well…with the baby and all?”
She smiled then, offered a confident “Yes. Yes, I think everything’s just fine,” and continued up the stairs.
eighteen
“wHAT HAPPENED?”
“I told him last night.”
“Was he angry?”
“A little, at first. He came around though.”
“On his own?”
Danica sighed. “With a little help. I lost my temper. I reminded him in no uncertain terms exactly what I was doing in Washington. My bluntness helped. He couldn’t argue with anything I said, and my saying it got it out in the open. I also think that he’s finally accepted defeat where I’m concerned.”
“It’s about time.”
“He even asked me if everything was all right with the baby.”
Michael tightened his grip on the phone. “Is it? How are you feeling today?”
“Not bad. The nausea comes and goes. It’s always worse on an empty stomach, so I try to eat a little something as often as I can. I slept late this morning, too. That helped.”
“Good. How did Blake act today?”
“He’s been surprisingly cordial. He came in to me in the middle of the morning to ask if there was anything I needed.”
“What did you say to that?”
“I wanted to say that I needed you, but I restrained myself. No sense rubbing salt on the wound. Blake knows he’s lost.”
“Just make sure he remembers it,” Michael growled.
A similar theme emerged in their conversation several days later. “It’s like there’s a truce in effect, Michael. I think it’s much better for both of us. We talk more than we did before, and he’s been solicitous when I’ve been sick.”
“Not too solicitous, I hope.”
She chuckled. “It could never be that, not with Blake. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. They may fade in one season or another, but—”
“Is that true?”
“I don’t know, but it sounds good for the purposes of my analogy, don’t you think?”
“You’re impossible,” he said with affection.
“Well, I just don’t want you to worry, but you do, don’t you?”
“That Blake’s going to try to win you back? Of course I do. I’m only human, and I feel particularly so, sitting up here all alone.”
“You’re not alone. You have Rusty.”
“Umm, the Labrador philosopher. Let me tell you, he may be great for helping me run my aggression out on the beach, but as a confidant, he leaves something to be desired.”
Danica laughed, then paused. “You shouldn’t worry, at least not about that, Michael. There’s no way Blake could possibly win me back. I’m yours. The time I spend here is obligatory. Blake doesn’t do anything in the least suggestive. He certainly doesn’t touch me. I think that his verbal show of concern is as close as he can come to an apology for all he’s put me through.”
“There’s more to come. That’s what really worries me. Did his lawyers get the December date they wanted?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Does Blake talk about it?”
“He’s starting to, but I sometimes think that he’s ob
livious to my presence when he does. It’s almost as if he’s talking to himself, as if what’s going on in his mind simply needs airing. He could as well be in an empty room, though. He doesn’t expect any response from me. Maybe he’s too embarrassed to look me in the eye.”
“Has he told anyone of your pregnancy?”
“His lawyers. They were pleased.”
“Do they know the truth?”
“No. Blake and I agreed on that. For all practical purposes, at least until the trial’s over, this baby is his.”
“I don’t like that.”
“It’s part of the scheme. If I don’t follow my game plan, all of this will have been a waste.”
“I suppose. I still don’t like it.”
She smiled softly. “That’s because you love me.” “Smart lady.”
The following week Danica called Michael with an interesting piece of news. “You will never guess what happened this morning.”
“You felt the baby kick?”
She laughed. “Not yet. It’s much too soon. It’s still a teeny, teeny thing, Michael.”
“Oh…You caught Blake talking to the wall?”
“Maybe in time that, too, but not yet.”
“Okay. I give up. What happened this morning?”
“I got a call from Boston magazine. They want me to keep a journal of what I’m experiencing waiting for the trial, then of the trial itself. They think it would make a dynamite article.”
Michael stiffened. “Will you do it?”
“Certainly not! I told the fellow that it was too personal, that I couldn’t possibly think of writing my private feelings for a magazine. When he offered me good money, I told him that it would be immoral for me to even think of cashing in on my husband’s ordeal. That didn’t sink in; he had the gall to ask if he could send a reporter down at intervals to interview me. Can you believe that?”
“Oh, I can believe it all right. I know how reporters work.”
“Not all of them are like that. By the way, I had lunch with Cilla yesterday.”
“I know. She called me last night. She knew I was worried about you and wanted to tell me that you look wonderful.”
Within Reach Page 36
