by Hughes, Maya
“I’m sorry. I wanted Mom to get to enjoy things after all she sacrificed for us.”
“For you—what she sacrificed for you. I didn’t have to be shuttled to the rink at five a.m. with eighty pounds of equipment every day. I didn’t make her go without anything for Christmas so she could buy new pads and gear when you outgrew your old stuff.”
Guilt gnawed at the edges of my mind. “And I was doing my best to make sure those sacrifices paid off.”
“Maybe I’m just sick of everything always being about Ford. You’re all over the freaking news with your ‘astounding goals,’ then pictures show up online with you and Liv.”
“How many times do I have to say this? It was just dinner. There’s nothing going on between us.” I sure as hell wanted to change that soon, though.
“But you’d like there to be. I’ve seen the way you look at her.”
I hung my head. “That’s the real reason she’s always on your mind, isn’t it?” Glaring up at him, I dropped my fork. “That’s why you’re texting her and calling her.”
“Maybe just once I’d like there to be something I can have that you can’t, unlike every other girl I’ve dated. More than a few made it real clear to me why they started talking to me in the first place.”
As annoyed as I was with him, that was truly shitty. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I didn’t know.” Why was I always getting the blame for things I didn’t know about? Although I did know I wanted Liv. I wanted my name on her lips when she came. I wanted to feel her in my arms, and I wrestled with that knowledge while staring into Grant’s eyes as I swore up and down I didn’t.
He shrugged one shoulder. “But now you do, so no more late-night taco dinners and other run-ins.”
“What I do and who I do it with is none of your business.”
“And I could say the same. Do you know why I asked her out that first time?”
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. My jaw popped, and I stared at him.
“Because I saw how hurt she was when you were making out with that Angelica chick at Declan’s wedding. I figured, damn, maybe now she’ll see that you’re always going to be toying with her, never serious, just loving that attention. You love to play the shy card, love everyone always asking you to come along, trying to draw you out of your shell. It’s the world’s longest con—why else would you play a position where the spotlight’s always on you?”
“I’m sitting in a net behind a mask covered in equipment. I’m not there for attention.” I got up from the booth and threw down some bills on the table. “Who I am isn’t an act.”
He stared back at me with a look I’d never seen before.
I left the bar and burst out the door into the crisp night air. It felt like I’d gotten a puck straight to the chest. To find out the little brother I’d thought looked up to me actually resented me was a tough pill to swallow.
Steam seemed to rise off my body. I only had the Henley on, not having grabbed my coat before I left my apartment, but I didn’t want to go back there right then. My hands opened and closed as I walked, the blood pounding in my veins so hard my body pulsed to the racing rhythm of my heart.
Mom had sacrificed a shit ton for me. That was why I did everything I could to thank her, but it had hurt him. I’d never thought about how the spotlight being on me might mess with his head. None of the other guys had brothers. I was the only one, and how shitty of a brother did this make me?
I made it three blocks before the first double take from someone walking by turned into an ask for a picture. There was no blending in. I internally winced as I put my arms around the shoulders of the fans but kept my face neutral. Anonymity wasn’t in the cards for me anymore. After signing a few autographs and posing for a picture, I went back to my apartment.
Kicking the door closed behind me, I could breathe again. I fell onto the couch. A text came in. If it was from Grant, there was nothing to keep me from launching my phone out the window. When I unlocked it, the tension melted away.
Liv: Do you think I’m too old to run away with the circus?
Me: You’d make a hell of a lion tamer
I tapped on her name. She picked up on the first ring. “I was thinking more of the person who cleans up after the animals.”
“That bad, huh? How’s studying going?”
She groaned. “I’ve taken every practice exam I could get my hands on, and I’ve been scoring in the 97 percent range. There’s one more section I need to review before I go to dance tonight.”
“I’m glad you didn’t drop those dance classes.” They seemed to be the only thing keeping her going on those hard study days.
“Me too. You were right. Sometimes it feels like school and dance are the only times I leave my apartment.”
“And for late-night tacos.”
“And for late-night tacos with world-famous hockey players who are constantly surrounded by their adoring fans.”
“World-famous is a stretch. Temporarily, locally famous would be more like it.”
“Not with the way you’ve been playing.” She paused. “I missed you this morning.” I could hear her nibbling her lip.
“I missed you all day. When can I see you?” Playing it cool had never been my strong suit.
“This weekend?”
“I fly out on Friday morning.”
“Shit, I forgot. Thursday night?”
“What about right now?”
Voices grew louder in the background. “Liv, come on, let’s go.”
“I can’t.” Regret laced her voice. “I told Marisa I’d help her with study prep for her midterm. We’ve got spectacular timing, as usual.”
“Tell me about it.” I dropped my head onto the back of the couch. “I’m on the road for five days this time.”
“I’ll clear the entire day you’re back.” The silence hung between us. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
“Liv, we’ve got to get to the lab.”
“Coming,” she called out to her roommate. “I’ll talk to you later. Night, Ford.”
* * *
The nightly phone calls from Liv had stretched well into the morning while I was on the road. I might have been a pro athlete, but she pushed herself to the limit between school and dancing.
Most nights had ended with the gentle rhythm of her breathing on the other end of the line, breathing I listened to for an embarrassingly long time. It became the steady soundtrack of my sleep, her little noises invading my dreams as I envisioned my arms around her, tangled up in the sheets on my bed.
On nights I played, the energy made it hard to concentrate on anything other than her once I got off the ice. She cleared her schedule to watch and wasn’t on the verge of passing out the second the call connected. Those were the nights her moans and cries were the sweetest sounds of the evening. It wasn’t the game-winning buzzer or the roar of the crowd; it was my name on her lips.
The wet sound of her fingers pumping into herself for me and the painful, driving need to bury myself in her were equal parts frustrating and satisfying. Each time I swore I’d hold off until I could see her in person, not torture myself like that, but after every game I bolted into my hotel room for the call.
Sweaty all over again, I’d lie there with my dick in my hand, cum on my stomach and her dirty, sweet words ringing in my ear.
“When you’re back tomorrow night, I need to feel you inside me.”
“Short of an extinction-level event, there’s nothing on this Earth that will stop me.” I grabbed a towel and cleaned myself up. Every reservation I’d had, every hesitation was eroded with each call.
She yawned. “I don’t know why I’m so tired. I’ve just been sitting all day.”
“You’re pushing yourself too hard.” Night after night, the weary tone in her voice got worse. Between our calls and her schedule, she couldn’t have been getting more than four hours of sleep at night. A chivalrous guy would have
put an end to the calls earlier and let her get some sleep. Apparently, chivalry was dead and buried.
“It’s only for a few more months and then it’s summer.” She yawned again.
“What about after the summer? It’s only going to get harder.”
It took me a while to realize she wasn’t mulling my words over.
“Liv?” The steady rhythm I knew so well came through the line. “Night, Liv.” Setting the phone on my pillow, I propped my hands behind my head and stared up at the hotel room ceiling. The following night was too far away. There was no game or practice, and I needed to see her right then, which was how I’d ended up crammed into a town car with most of the Kings.
Headphones were the perfect isolation signal, the perfect way to ward off unwanted conversation. No one talked to you with headphones on—as long as the people around you actually thought you were listening to something.
I cursed mentioning to Declan, Heath, and Emmett that I was thinking of coming back early. It seemed I wasn’t the only one eager to get back home after such a long stretch on the road, and they’d barged in on my solo return trip.
“He’s probably living in his car, taking showers at the practice rink or the stadium.” Heath leaned over, his blond hair dangling down between the seats. He stared at me and grinned.
“Maybe he’s living in a box behind the stadium. Driving off after games and practices is all a big ruse to throw us off the scent.” Emmett turned in his seat, giving me a look of pity.
“Maybe this is why he’s such a man whore. All he’s looking for is a warm place to sleep at night.” Declan leaned over Emmett’s seat and stared at me with puppy-dog sadness in his eyes.
Looked like the jig was up. I tore the headphones off my ears.
“Fine, everyone come over to my apartment. We can have a few drinks, I’ll make dinner, and you can finally see my place, my actual apartment with four walls, a roof, and furniture.” That shut them up for the rest of the trip.
Bleary-eyed, I finally made it home.
20
Liv
Sylvia’s monthly dance extravaganza became a permanent fixture in my calendar, the first Thursday of every month. It also helped distract me from the fact that I’d be seeing Ford the next day.
My phone rang the second I stepped inside Sylvia’s. “Hey, are you on your way to the airport?”
“Not exactly.”
My stomach dropped. Please not a delay.
“Are you going to my mom’s today?”
“I’m here already.” I peered through the window in the door, laughing as the kids jumped up and down on the other side. “They’re a ravenous pack. If I didn’t get here in the mornings, I’d probably pass out. There’s no way I can sustain this kind of energy in the afternoon.”
He chuckled. “I guess I’ll see you there.”
“You’re back?” My voice shot up three octaves. Hummingbird heartbeats took over.
“I skipped the team flight. I’m sure I’ll get my ass chewed out for that, but I had to get back earlier.”
“You did?” I cringed at the squeakiness in my voice.
“I did. I’ll see you soon.”
He ended the call, and I leaned against the wall with my phone clutched against my chest. He’d be there soon, and I’d finally be able to see him in the flesh, would finally be able to touch him, not just imagine him touching me.
“You ready, Liv?” Sylvia’s voice snapped me out of my daydream about all the dirty things I wanted to do to her son.
“Yes, ready.” I walked into the room of kids jumping up and down and screaming my name, thinking this must be what it felt like to skate out onto the ice before a big game.
Sweaty with cheeks hurting from laughing so much, I stepped out of the room an hour later. Ford had passed by while I was still inside, and it had taken everything in me to stay focused on the kids in front of me and not go rushing from the class.
Glancing up and down the hallway, I looked for him.
He stepped out of the kitchen and spotted me. I tamped down my urge to run to him.
“Hey.” My voice was all breathy, but it had nothing to do with the running around I’d just done.
“Seems like I’m not the only one those kids push to exhaustion.”
“Nope.” The laughter and clamor from the rooms around me faded away. After almost a week of near nightly conversation with his words drawing out every ounce of pleasure from my body, all I wanted to do was touch him, have him touch me and finally fulfill the promises he’d made as he cried out his own release. I wanted to live out the dreams I’d had from back before we’d even had our first kiss.
He crossed the hallway and lifted his hand to the side of my face.
“Would you kids like some lunch, Liv?” Sylvia called out from the kitchen.
He dropped his hand, and the corners of his eyes crinkled, the mischief shining bright and naughty. His shoulders shook, and he dropped his head, taking a step back.
I shook mine and pressed the tips of my fingers to my mouth to hold back the laughter. Every damn time. I swore we’d have to find a bunker somewhere and stay there until I couldn’t walk anymore. Was there a blue balls equivalent for women? Because I was sporting a pair, big time. It was either laugh at the game the universe was playing or cry in frustration.
“There you are.” Sylvia came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. “Anyone hungry?”
“BLTs?” My voice sounded way more hopeful than I’d intended. She probably thought I was hanging around just to score some food.
“Close. Double bacon club sandwiches.” The doors to all the rooms flew open, and the classes of kids filed out the door at the end of the hallway to the playground in the back.
“You’re speaking my language, Sylvia.” Letting my body brush against Ford’s as I passed, I followed her into the kitchen.
We sat at the counter, our stools far enough apart, but every so often I’d reach out with my leg and run it along his calf. He dropped his hand from the counter and reached under the ledge to squeeze my thigh. His fingers danced along the tights I wore, and my body heated under his touch. Payback was a bitch.
Five minutes, he mouthed when Sylvia’s back was turned.
“Ford, can you check out the planetarium room? I didn’t want to get the ladder, but a few of the stars have fallen down and it’s not feeling very celestial.”
He snatched his hand back when she turned around. “Sure, I’ll go do that now.” He spun in his seat, sliding off the chair. With a noticeable bulge in his jeans, he sidestepped out of the room.
“Thanks, honey.” She popped the dishes into the dishwasher.
“I’m going to change.” I slung my bag onto my shoulder and went out the door, keeping my steps slow and even. The second I was out of the line of sight of the doorway, Ford grabbed my arm and spun me around, running his hand over the small of my back.
“Teasing me like that’s going to get you into a world of trouble.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me along the hallway.
“Promises, promises,” I whispered after him.
The thrumming, hungry energy radiated off him. He reached out, turning the doorknob, and we tumbled into a pitch-black room. Glow-in-the-dark stars covered the ceiling and part of the walls.
He slipped his fingers along the base of my neck. “You’re driving me crazy, Liv.”
My eyes adjusted to the almost nonexistent light. The heat from his grip on me sent thundering pulses of pleasure rushing through my body.
“I could say the same thing about you.” I ran my hands along his broad, solid chest. His hard muscles bunched under my touch.
“I wasn’t the one playing footsie under the counter.” His head dipped, and his breath fanned across the curve of my jaw, just under my ear.
Goose bumps broke out all over my body. “We’re always getting interrupted. I thought we’d better take advantage of this while we can.” Wrapping my fingers in his shirt, I bridged the gap
between us.
The simmer shot off into a cascading fire that raced through my body. His lips crashed down on mine, and he tightened his grip on the hair at the base of my neck.
I yelped, and he used my slightly parted lips to take full control of my mouth. His tongue mimicked the dance his words had already done to bring that keen ache between my legs to the forefront of my mind.
There was nothing else but the flames he’d fanned in my body, and there was no one else who could put them out. There was only Ford.
He pushed me up against the wall. My body pinned under his, I hitched my leg up onto his hip and squeezed him closer, digging my heel into his denim-covered ass.
“We need to get to my place.” He sucked on the soft spot on my neck. “Now.” Giving my ass one firm squeeze, he let go and stepped back. I dropped my leg from his waist and nodded.
Working quickly, we picked up the stars from the floor and Ford stuck them to the wall, nearly pounding them into the drywall by hand. I slipped into the bathroom and changed my clothes, joining him and Sylvia back in the kitchen.
We wolfed down our food like it was our last meal on Earth.
Sylvia watched me with her mouth hanging open. “Do you have food at home? I can make you a plate to take with you.”
“It was just so good.” I tried to smile with my cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk.
She looked unconvinced.
“I’ve got to go, Mom. I’m beat from the trip. I couldn’t even drive over here.” He pecked her on the cheek.
“Okay, honey.”
“And Liv, we can split a taxi—how’s that sound?” His words were normal and even, but his eyes made promises my body hoped he’d keep.
21
Ford
“I should have called for one when we were still warm inside.” I speed walked down the front path. Liv laughed behind me, trying to keep up. Glancing down at my phone, I willed the taxi icon flashing on my screen to move a hell of a lot faster.
