Lock and Load

by Desiree Holt

  Oh, wait. Who was he kidding? He wanted to be where he could rip off her clothes.

  Behave!

  Kari moved slowly past them in time to the rhythm of the music. The smile on her face as she looked at Slade bright enough to compete with the sun. Then she was standing next to him and the pastor began the ceremony.

  Beau barely heard a word spoken by anyone. All he could focus on was the woman sitting next to him. The more time he spent with her, the more she was in his blood. Last night at The Edge had been even more unbelievable than the night before. He was torn between getting in too deep and reaching out for what he was beginning to believe the two of them could have together.

  Before he realized it, the ceremony was over and Slade and Kari were smiling their way down the runner and into the building. People began to rise from their chairs and make their way inside. Beau made sure to keep his arm around Megan as they moved with the crowd.

  Megan leaned against Beau as they moved slowly to the music on the dance floor. His body warmth seeped into her, his breath a soft almost non-existent breeze on her hair. He was incredibly handsome in his uniform. Ruggedly masculine. She was sure the single women in attendance were salivating over him, but he’d paid no attention to anyone but her. Except for when he joined his teammates in toasting the bridal couple, he’d focused on no one but her.

  Although the gathering was fairly small—about fifty people, Megan figured—Slade and Kari had wanted a memorable event. The deejay Kari had hired to play after dinner was served knew exactly what music to select and how to mix the slow and the fast. She was surprised at what a fluid dancer Beau was, regardless of the tempo. It wasn’t a talent she’d expected him to have, but he had moves that amazed even her.

  The slow dances were what she liked best, though. He had no qualms about wrapping both arms around her and molding her to his body as they swayed in time to the songs. Megan had danced with a lot of men, but none of them had ever affected her this way. For those moments on the dance floor, she almost felt as if they were one person.

  Don’t get too carried away, missy. His life is with Delta Force.

  But Slade and Kari managed to cross that bridge.

  Oh, so you’re thinking of marrying him? Where did that come from?

  She had to stop having the conversation with herself and just enjoy the moment. Only there was something different about him today. Something not so—remote. Not that he wasn’t totally involved in their sessions at The Edge. The last two nights had been beyond anything she could have imagined. Each time she’d thought he’d taken her to a new level of sensation, a new edge of pleasure/pain, he pushed her just a little higher. And while he demanded everything from her she had to give, he returned it tenfold. She’d never been with a Dom like him.

  Yet from the beginning she’d sensed a certain remoteness, a distance, despite his enthusiasm for their sexual activities. When she’d learned he was a sniper, she’d done some online research and discovered that it was a part of what made them good, that ability to be detached. Ordinarily she’d be good with that, but Beau Williams had inched his way beneath her skin to a place she wasn’t sure she wanted him to be. She’d worked too hard for years at not letting down her guard.

  She sighed, confused and not happy about it.

  His arm tightened around her. “Sounds like some heavy thoughts you’re carrying around.”

  She leaned into him, his body warmth seeping into her. The beat of his heart thumped rhythmically against her ear. How could she tell him what was on her mind? He’d probably run screaming into the night.

  “Just enjoying the music and the event. Kari is a beautiful bride.”

  “That she is.” He kissed the top of her head.

  She felt the imprint of his lips on her scalp. “And the wedding was just right for them. I don’t know her very well, but they look like they’re so much in love.”

  Keep babbling, Megan. That’s just what he wants for a topic of conversation.

  He chuckled softly, his body vibrating against hers. “I have to say, none of us ever thought he’d actually do it. He’s always been such a loner, focused only on the team.”

  “Sort of like you, right?”

  Why on earth did I say that? I should learn to keep my mouth shut.

  “Snipers are loners by design. Remember I told you that?” He tightened his arm around her. “But that doesn’t mean we want to be lonely.”

  Now what did that mean?

  “I enjoyed meeting the other guys on the team. I don’t remember seeing them at The Edge, but I’m guessing they were there, too?”

  A long moment passed before he answered her. “We’re all Doms, Megan. Have been for years. It’s one of the things that binds us together, makes us such a tight unit. We understand each other so well.” The music stopped and he slid two fingers beneath her chin to tilt her face up to him. “And I’m just as happy if you never notice them. Or anyone else.”

  “I, um—Oh, look! Kari’s getting ready to throw her bouquet. It must be almost time for them to leave.”

  “I can’t believe they stayed around this long. Come on.” He folded her hand in his and tugged her over to where the small crowd was gathering.”

  Slade brought a chair into the center of the floor and helped Kari to stand on it.

  “We want to thank all of you for coming here today and sharing this wonderful moment with us.” Her eyes were shining as she gazed over everyone standing in front of her. “I wish for all of you the same happiness Slade and I have found with each other. Ladies, this is a good luck bouquet so get ready to catch it and follow in my footsteps.”

  She turned around carefully on the chair, counted to three and tossed the bouquet over her shoulder. Megan had taken a step back, but the flowers headed in their direction and bounced off Beau’s chest. Without thinking she reached out to keep them from falling to the floor. With her fingers closed around them she stared up at Beau, not sure how he would react. There was a look in his eyes that she wasn’t sure how to interpret. Heat and something else. For a long moment they stood there just looking at each other.

  Finally, Beau cleared his throat.

  “We should take those someplace and put them in water so they’ll last, don’t you think?”

  “Um, yes. Of course.” Still she just stood there like an idiot.

  He brushed his lips over her cheek. “Then let’s get you home and take care of it.”

  And then what? she wondered. She never, ever brought a man to her place. For one thing, she hadn’t met anyone she wanted to share that space—or her bed—with. For another, she got all the sex she wanted at The Edge. She was sure if she ever mentioned her real desires to the guys she dated they’d either consider her a weirdo, abuse the privilege of her body or spread the word with a lot of dirty jokes peppered into the telling.

  But she felt safe with Beau. She couldn’t even say why. It was all wrapped up in that invisible unexpected connection between them, one she wasn’t sure she knew how to handle.

  “I can hear you thinking again.”

  Beau’s deep raspy voice, this time tinged with a little humor, broke into her mental wanderings.

  “I’ve been known to do that a time or two,” she joked, trying for a light tone.

  The SUV came to a stop and she realized they were already in her driveway. She reached for the handle to open the door, but Beau stopped her.

  “Everything okay, Megan?” His face was deadly serious, a questioning look in his eyes.

  She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Despite her dithering, she’d made up her mind at the wedding to invite Beau inside. To see if he fit in her personal space. If he’d demand more of her outside The Edge, more than she wanted to give. There was that trust thing again, but she wanted so badly to take this chance with him. Her nerves tingled with a delicious mixture of trepidation and desire.

  And just in case things worked out, she’d managed to clear her schedule for Monday so she wa
sn’t expected at the newspaper.

  She smiled at him. “Everything’s fine. Would you like to come in for a while?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  She had to juggle her purse and the flowers while trying to unlock the door. Beau finally took the keys from her, fit the right one in the lock and pushed open the door. She flipped the light switch that turned on two lamps in the living room before heading for the kitchen. He was right behind her when she placed her purse and the flowers on the counter and opened cupboards looking for a vase. When she pulled one off a shelf and moved to fill it at the sink, he was right there, so close his body was touching hers.

  “I, uh, need to take care of this,” she stammered.

  “In a minute.”

  He took the vase from her and set it aside then cupped her face in both of his warm palms. The fire blazing in his eyes was so hot it stole her breath. Then his mouth came down on hers, soft at first, brushing against her like the kiss of a bird’s wing followed by a gentle swipe of his tongue over her bottom lip. When she parted her lips for him, his tongue danced inside, licking the inner surface before retreating. When he lifted his head, she was breathless and the kiss had hardly been anything at all.

  But he knew what he was doing. Oh, yes. He’d controlled it all, teasing her just enough so her nipples hardened beneath the silk of her dress and the crotch of her thong dampened with her juices. One touch and her liquid gushed, so much so she was sure he could smell her musk. The wicked smile that curved his lips was a good indication of that.

  “Let’s take care of those flowers now.”

  The low deep timbre of his voice resonated through her and his look immobilized her. Still grinning, he lifted the vase from the counter, filled it partway with water and carefully placed the bouquet in it. He was such a macho guy, no soft edges, that Megan was amazed he even knew how to do that. War and sex seemed to comprise his life.

  “I am a man of many talents,” he told her, and winked. “Where would you like this?”

  She gave herself a mental shake. “By the window in the living room. This way.”

  As he followed her out of the kitchen, she wondered what he thought of her townhouse. She’d taken a long time to find just the right place and to decorate it the way she wanted. She loved the ten-foot ceilings and the big picture windows, giving the place a clean airy feel. It was the one place she completely allowed her feminine side to emerge. Not that she didn’t remember at all times she was a woman. But at work she had to be careful to walk a fine line between seeming too masculine and too feminine. Men in the sports world didn’t take eye candy very seriously and she was dead serious about her job.

  She set the vase on a low table by the window and turned to see Beau taking in every detail of the room.

  “Nice,” he commented. “I can definitely see you here.”

  “You can?” That surprised her. “But you don’t really know me. Except at The Edge.”

  “That’s what you think, sugar.” He threaded his fingers through her hair, loose tonight as opposed to ruthlessly restrained in the clip she usually wore. “I’d say you’re a woman who enjoys being just that—a woman. But you don’t want to let too many people see inside you.” He brushed his mouth over hers. “That sassy attitude you wear covers up a lot, but you know what?”

  “What?” she whispered.

  “Two nights ago you let down all the restraints.” Another quick press of his lips. “Remember? You held nothing back.” The tip of his tongue licked over her bottom lip. “Last night the sassy sub was back, the one who doesn’t think I know she’s fighting complete submission at every turn.”

  Megan stared at him. How could he know that? Ever since discovering her submissive nature, since joining The Edge, she’d done her best to conceal that from everyone. She knew it was hard for her to let go of the woman in control she had to be in her professional life and give everything over to a Dom, a move that meant also giving complete trust. And she’d learned the hard way that trust could so easily be abused.

  “I won’t let you down, Megan. Believe me.”

  “H—How can I believe that? We don’t even know each other that well.”

  “We all have trust issues,” he told her. “But you were able to let down all the bars the other night. Let’s see if we can do it again.”

  Could she? Well, she’d brought him home with her, hadn’t she? A major step on her part.

  She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I feel you holding back, too,” she pointed out.

  “Hazards of the profession,” he told her. “Want to see if we can take the next step together?”

  She nodded then wet her lips. “You’re—I’ve never brought a man home with me,” she said in a soft voice.

  His eyes widened. “For real?”

  “Yes. I never wanted to share my space with anyone before.”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I don’t want to feel like I’m invading here.”

  Megan felt hysteria bubble up inside her. It seemed they both had issues that could only be pushed aside in the protected environment of a place like The Edge.

  “You’re not.” She rested her hands on his shoulders. “I invited you here. I just wanted you to know it’s…not something I usually do.”

  He studied her face for a long moment. “Why don’t we take this into a room where we’ll both feel more comfortable and see if, at least for tonight, we can leave the baggage at the front door.”

  She wet her lips again then dipped her head just once. “I’d like that.”

  God, I hope I’m not making a mistake.

  She was nervous. Beau sensed it the moment they’d walked into her place. He’d like to think the slight trembling of her hands had more to do with the desire building inside her. But her confession that she never brought men here had clued him in. He’d have to tread very carefully here, not make a mistake. She had no problems with letting him dominate her at The Edge, but somehow he’d have to let her know that his control was a two-way street. He’d been trained by some very good Doms, who constantly reminded him that any relationship was a continued negotiation, until both the Dom and the sub reached a level at which they both felt comfortable.

  The other night, for the first time, she’d fallen into complete subspace, a sign of trust. He would do nothing to injure her or abuse her. He didn’t want to lose that. Especially after learning that she hadn’t ever brought any other man here.

  Her bedroom was a complex mix of her equally complex personality. He studied it carefully, taking in all the details, looking for some clue to the woman beyond The Edge. The comforter and the pillows on the bed were very tailored, but the colors were soft pastels. The windows were dressed with utilitarian blinds, but wall shelves held colorful whimsical figurines.

  Beau turned to her, trying to figure out where to begin here. He was aware she had to have struggled with this decision. None of the sassy imp was present tonight, a realization that stirred feelings deep inside him. Even now he looked into her eyes and saw the remnants of the struggle she must have had with herself. But then her posture changed. She kicked off her shoes and stood with legs apart, head bowed, eyes downcast, hands clasped behind her back. Her signal that here, in her bedroom, in the environment of her private life, she was prepared to fully submit to him. His cock hardened with anticipation even as his heart stuttered at the honor she was bestowing on him.

  Okay, then.

  “Girl.” Using the word set the boundaries. “That dress makes my mouth water, but it’s time to take it off. Slowly.”

  His heart nearly stopped when he saw that beneath the blue confection she wore a matching thong, a lacy bra and thigh high stockings. Holy fucking shit. Standing there she was every man’s wet dream.

  With careful movement, still looking down at the floor, she removed the bra and tossed it onto a chair then shimmied very slowly out of the thong. But when she reached for the top of one stocking he shook his head.


  “Not yet. Wait.”

  He kicked off his own shoes and toed off his socks, then draped his uniform jacket and shirt over the back of the little chair that held her bra. Next came his uniform pants, the belt buckle making a loud snicking sound when he undid it. When he was down to his boxer briefs, he just stood where he was, taking in every inch of the woman standing before him, naked except for those damn sexy stockings.

  He’d have to improvise tonight. He was sure Megan didn’t keep dungeon toys and equipment in her drawers or her closet. But he could be inventive, especially when it came to her. Being a Dom was about much more than just restraints and punishment. It was about control. And tonight, without all the accessories, he’d find out if she could submit to that control. From him.

  He lifted her to the bed, her buttocks resting just at the edge of it.

  “Hands over your head,” he ordered. “Link your fingers.”

  Megan stretched her arms above her head, her breasts lifting to him with the movement. He noticed the trembling in her fingers as she locked them together and he hoped it was unfulfilled desire rather than nerves. Whatever happened tonight he would make it good for her. Better than good.

  “Don’t move,” he commanded, completely in his Dom mode now. “Not even a little. No matter what I do. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” She exhaled a tiny sigh. “Sir.”

  Kneeling between her legs, he took the band at the top of one thigh high stocking in his teeth and slowly tugged it the length of her leg. He had a hard time concentrating because the scent of her musk was so strong now he wanted to just bend her over his knees, paddle her ass until she shrieked with need and drive his cock into her. But he had the feeling that tonight was about a lot more than just D/s sex. And he didn’t want to make a mistake, or rush things.