Lock and Load

by Desiree Holt

  Megan stopped what she was doing and gave him a studied look, one that sent a thread of unease through him.

  “I guess everyone is different, but I’d like to have a permanent address that my guy came home to. One that he felt was home. Maybe Slade doesn’t care.”

  Beau shoved himself up in bed and stared at her. “Right. Maybe all he needs is to know that Kari loves him. The rest is just details.” He pushed himself up from the bed, ignoring his nudity. “But you don’t have that problem, right?”

  “I don’t know. Don’t you have a home somewhere that you keep going back to?”

  He shrugged. “Not for a long time.” More than ten years had passed since he’d called the place his parents lived his home. He wasn’t any more anxious to go back there than they were to have him. “So nothing to worry about there, right?” He framed her face in his hands and brushed his mouth over hers. “Let’s not make a problem where there isn’t one, okay?”

  She grinned, and the tension inside him eased.

  “Okay.” She teased his lips with the tip of her tongue. “I’ll be working on Spurs stories today, what with the playoffs looming, so I don’t know exactly when I’ll be home. We can worry about dinner when I get here.”

  “Let’s worry about something else right now.”

  Taking her briefcase from her hand, he set it on the chair then wrapped the fingers of one hand around both of her wrists. With his other hand, he undid the snap and zipper of her slacks and slid his hand inside the soft fabric until he found her clit. She gasped as he rubbed the tip of one finger over it again and again.

  “Beau!” She bit her lip. “I have to go to work.”

  “I just want to make sure you don’t forget me while you’re gone.” He nipped her lower lip then soothed it with his tongue, all the while working her sensitive bundle of nerves.

  “No chance of that.” Her breathing hitched. “Quit it. I need to get out of here.”

  He slid two fingers inside her, smiling when he found her soaked with her juices. Thrusting two or three times he finally withdrew from the clench of her muscles, raising his hand to slowly lick his fingers. All the while his gaze was locked with hers. Finally he fastened her slacks again and handed her the briefcase.

  “Just something to keep me on your mind today.” He winked.

  “As if I could forget.” She was still trying to catch her breath.

  “Don’t touch yourself,” he warned. “When you get home tonight I want you just as wet as you are now. And just as hot.”

  Her lips twitched as she tried to repress a smile. “Yes, Sir.”

  Jesus, when she used the honorific like that it made him harder than a spike. Oh, wait. Everything she did made him that hard. And ready.

  “Call me,” he hollered after her as she hurried out of the door.

  When she was gone, he sat back down on the bed, wondering why he felt so uneasy again. Was it because Megan would be spending the day surrounded by macho athletes oozing testosterone?

  It’s her job, asshole.

  And of course there were the jerks she worked with. He’d love to storm into the newsroom and smash every one of them. Only that would make things even worse for her. And what was with his sudden white knight complex, wanting to save her from everyone and everything?

  Face it. She’s got you tied up in more knots than a Shibari master.

  What would happen when he was gone? He was afraid to make promises or ask for them. Not because he didn’t want them, but because they still had so many trust issues between them that couldn’t be settled in a week.

  And he had no idea what he was going to do about it.

  Beau couldn’t ever remember feeling so conflicted about a woman. After convincing himself for all these years that what he had was what he’d always get, it stunned him to realize that all this was possible for him. A real relationship. He wanted the week to go on forever. Give both of them time not just to enjoy each other but to work through their individual trust issues. See if they had something solid to build on.

  But Saturday morning Slade called telling him to get his ass back to the ranch. They had to leave for Fort Sam at oh dark thirty the next morning where they’d be wheels up an hour after they got there. The only consolation was that Slade didn’t sound any happier about it than Beau was.

  “Damn.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Okay, but it will be late tonight when I get there.”

  Slade chuckled. “Just as long as it’s before the helo lifts off. Leaving you behind isn’t an option.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

  Slade was silent for a moment before he said, “So the date for the wedding was more than just that? More than something casual?”

  “Uh, yeah. You could say so.”

  Slade laughed. “It’s okay to admit it, Beau. No one fell harder than me and I was the last of the old line holdouts.”

  “We just have a lot of issues to work out,” Beau said. “More than just the separations and the danger of my job.”

  “I figured. Well, I’m here if you need to talk. Just as long as you don’t miss our ride tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Beau sat for a long time holding his cell phone after he disconnected the call. A week was barely enough time to scratch the surface here. He and Megan had so many obstacles, so many challenges, not the least of which was their own internal problems. He couldn’t believe how badly he wanted this to work out.

  Okay, not gonna solve anything sitting around. Get your ass in gear and make tonight special. Then worry about the rest of it.

  “Problem?” Megan stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She’d tactfully left him alone to take Slade’s call.

  “Didn’t use to be.” He shoved his cell in his pocket. “I need to be back at the ranch by midnight. We’re wheels up very early and Teo still has to ferry us to Fort Sam.”

  Disappointment flashed across her face but was replaced at once by a smile. “Then we don’t want to waste one minute of the rest of the day, right?”

  “Right.” He pushed himself to his feet. “I have some ideas about how to celebrate our last night together, but first we need to go shopping.”

  “Okay.” She walked over to where he was standing and stroked his cheeks with her fingers. “Beau?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I, uh… I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

  His pulse kicked up a notch because he’d been thinking the same thing. If they could get rid of all the baggage they carried.

  “Me, too,” he told her.

  * * * *

  Megan couldn’t decide if she was still annoyed with Beau or wanted to lock the door and keep him there forever. He had used his phone to Google shops that sold what he needed, insisting she wait in the car for him while he made his purchases. She’d done so but protesting, frowning when he wouldn’t even show her what was in the bags. He smiled now as he pushed the silken cord he’d bought to the side.

  “Now wasn’t this worth waiting for?” he asked.

  “I hate to give you the satisfaction of saying yes,” she pouted, “but okay. Yes.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Yes, what?”

  She swallowed a smile. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Better.”

  He guided her to the bed where he helped her to stretch out. Her limbs felt like wet noodles and her body hummed with sexual fulfillment. She’d had no idea he was so knowledgeable about Shibari until he’d told her he’d spent a week learning it on one of their down periods. He had taken great pains to tie her intricately, winding the cord around each of her breasts and her thighs, looping it from back to front so the knots were placed carefully on pressure points like her clit and her nipples. And finally he’d connected her wrists and ankles as he had the other night only with a little more play in the rope.

  Then he had proceeded to turn her upside down and inside out. He’d had his cock in her mouth, in her pussy, in her ass. He used the belt, which she was stunne
d to realize she was becoming addicted to, then inserted her vibrator and watched her, bound helplessly, as it drove her to yet another climax. He settled her on the edge of the bed where she perched helplessly while he used his mouth on her to drive her insane.

  And finally, when she was sure she could take no more, he had untied her, stretched her out on the bed and slid his cock into her for a last long, slow release.

  “I expect that to hold you until I get back.” He took the bottle of massage oil he’d bought, poured some into his hands and began working it into her sore muscles.

  “Are you kidding me?” She let out a slow breath. “It might hold me forever. After I get you to the ranch, I think I’ll come home and sleep for a week.”

  “Your boss might object to that,” he reminded her.

  His large, warm hands, which had been working such magic on her back, turned her over and began to do the same to her front.

  “Oh, right.” She sighed. “I forgot about him.” She grinned. “I guess I was otherwise occupied.”

  She waited for Beau to toss out another comeback, but his face was more serious than she’d seen it since last Friday night at The Edge.

  “What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?”

  He shook his head. “No. I just—” He stopped and shook his head.

  “Beau?” She pushed his hands away. “What is it? You’re scaring me.”

  “If I tell you I don’t want you with anyone else while I’m gone, I want you to know I’m not joking. Can you get with that program?”

  Her heart gave a funny little twitch. “Do you think any other man could even come close to giving me what we’ve shared this week? I’m disappointed you even have to ask.”

  “I’ve never done the exclusive thing before. And I’m not even sure where we’re going with this. I just know I don’t want another man’s hands on you. Maybe not ever.”

  She reached up and laid her palm against his cheek. “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

  “I don’t trust women, Megan. The Army’s been my lover for ten years, and it’s given back more to me than any woman could. But you’re—different.” He leaned down and brushed a light kiss over her cheek. “I—want this.”

  “I do, too, Beau. I want you to believe me. I want to think we could have something here.”

  He rested his hand on her shoulder for a moment. “Can you stay away from The Edge while I’m gone?”

  She smiled back at him. “I can when I know what’s waiting for me when you come back here again.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.”

  He was silent after he finished working the oil into her body, paying careful attention to the marks left by the rope and to her ankles and knees. When he was finished, he gave her a soft, soft kiss.

  “You really need a hot bath now, but we need to head to the ranch.”

  “Not a problem.” She sat up and swung her legs to the side. “I’m good to go.”

  “I was going say, but we could settle for a shower.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “We can be quick about it.”

  Only not as quick as he probably meant. With the water sluicing over them, he teased her with his mouth, his tongue, his lips, his teeth. His hands coasted over every inch of her body and while he slid two fingers into her hot channel, she wrapped her own around his throbbing cock and brought him to a climax. As his semen spilled over her hand, she pushed down on his hand and came apart, holding on with her arm for dear life.

  Beau held her in his arms and kissed her until her brain was mush before he turned off the water. They toweled off and dressed then climbed into her car.

  They were silent for most of the ride, Beau driving since he knew where they were going. When he passed through the gate and down the driveway to the parking area, Megan looked around at the activity going on. Off to one side, on a large fat concrete surface stood a helicopter with the ranch logo on it. Two men jogged from the house carrying duffels, which they tossed into the bird’s cabin.

  Off to one side stood Slade and Kari, locked in an embrace so intimate Megan was almost embarrassed to look. This had to be so hard for both of them. Megan vowed to give Kari a call over the next few days. They knew each other casually from The Edge, so maybe they could get a friendship going.

  “Move it out,” Teo called. He was standing next to the helicopter.

  “It’s time,” Beau said.

  “I know.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m a big girl, Beau. You go do your job and don’t worry about me.”

  “Keep your cell and iPad handy. I’ll call you when I can.”

  “You got it, soldier.” She grinned. “Sir.”

  They climbed out of her car, Beau pulled his duffel from the back and dropped it at his feet. Then he reached for her. Their kiss was hot enough to scorch pavement, tongues tangling, breath mingling. Megan knew it for what it was, a brand of possession. He wanted her to remember that she belonged to him.

  “I’ll be back when I can. You stay away from those jocks in the meantime.”

  “I will.” She grinned. “Sir.”

  She watched him grab his duffel and jog to the helo, then climb into the cabin with the others. As it lifted off, rotors beating the air with the familiar thump! thump! thump! Kari walked over to her and reached for her hand. They stood there, silently, until every sign of the bird had disappeared.

  “He’ll be back,” Kari told Megan. “They all will.”

  “But will he be back to me? That’s the question.”

  “I say yes.” She squeezed Megan’s hand. “Are you unsure of him?”

  Megan shrugged. “We both have such bad trust issues, me from my job and Beau from whatever in his background created them. I’m worried about what the separation will do to us.”

  “If it helps, Slade says this is the first time Beau’s ever spent more than a couple of nights with a woman and never at her home.”

  Megan really wanted to believe her, that this was something special to Beau. “This may sound stupid to you,” she told the other woman, “but Beau’s the first man I’ve ever let into my actual bed. Ever actually slept with at my home.”

  Kari shook her head. “Doesn’t sound stupid at all. We don’t know each other very well, Megan, but just from what I’ve observed at The Edge you appear to be very particular about who you hook up with. A sub who makes careful choices.”

  “I have to be.” She sighed. “Being a female in my field, you need to grow a tough skin and a real go-to-hell attitude or the jackasses will eat you alive.”

  Kari laughed. “I’ll bet. But if I’m any judge of character, I’d say Beau is smitten, Maybe wrestling with it, but definitely hooked. Slade agrees with me.”

  Megan swallowed and forced a smile. “Then that’s what I have to hang onto.”

  “Meanwhile,” Kari said, “we can hang onto each other.”

  Chapter Five

  On the flight from Fort Sam, he’d managed to push all thoughts of Megan to the back of his mind, focusing on preparation for whatever their next assignment would be. Once they were back on base, he did his best to keep her out of his mind, his dreams, although it seemed the moment his head hit the pillow at night the first thing that came to him was Megan, naked and bound, on the edge of a climax. And his dick would spring to life, sometimes waking him in the middle of the night.

  Oh, sure, he could email. The base had wireless set up. But he wasn’t used to back and forth contact with a woman. Every connection he’d had for the past ten years had been casual, almost incidental. And he certainly hadn’t ever chatted online with any of the subs he met at places like The Edge when he was in between assignments. This was all so new to him. He wasn’t even sure he trusted it yet.

  There was that word again. Trust. Something they both seemed to have trouble with.

  Finally, sitting in the mess hall, he’d booted up his laptop and decided to check the site for the newspaper where Megan worked. Check on her articles. It was a way for h
im to stay connected with her without actually having contact.

  And the first thing he saw on the front page of the sports section was a shot at a local awards banquet of Megan and some guy with his arm around her in a very intimate pose. Jealousy burned through him, leaving his gut seared and a bitter taste in his mouth. He should have figured, right? So much for her agreeing to be exclusive while he was away. And all that stuff about the guys she worked with being assholes, about being cautious, seemed to be just so much lip service.

  She didn’t have to tell him she was good with exclusive if she hadn’t meant it. He’d been happier if she’d just told him the truth. No expectations there.

  He slammed the cover on the laptop just as Slade lowered himself onto the bench beside him.

  “You know that’s crap, right?” the team leader said.

  “Doesn’t matter.” Beau tried for a nonchalant attitude, even as disappointment gripped him.

  “Don’t give me that shit. I know you too well. Here. Kari sent this. I think this is for you.” He handed over his cell phone with a text showing in the screen.

  Beau took it reluctantly. He was tempted to just delete it, but he knew his team leader would give him all kinds of shit so he scrolled through it.

  Slade, I’m sending this for Megan because Beau, the idiot, didn’t give her his cell number and tell her she could contact him. I’m not telling tales out of school because she shared with me that she promised to be exclusive while he was gone. (Me: What about when he gets back?) If he happens to pull up the newspaper on his laptop tell him the picture of her is with the coach at her high school. She was the guest speaker at the awards banquet. The guy’s married and has four kids. She seems to think he’d be stupid enough to take it the wrong way.

  “So.” Slade took his phone back. “Are you? That stupid?”

  Beau scrubbed at his unshaven chin. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I am. I guess I have to believe her if she went to all the trouble of sending this, but hell. Both of us are so gun-shy it’s like we’ve got a minefield between us.”

  “Free advice is worth the price, but I’m going to give it anyway. Kari’s been spending time with her and says she’s the real deal. She has a lot of shit to deal with in her job, which I’m sure she told you. But she also told my wife she’d promised not to be with anyone else while you were gone and she said she meant it.” Slade rose and tapped the other man’s shoulder with his fist. “So take some advice. Something good’s come your way. Take care of it and don’t fuck it up.”