by Robert Bevan
“And how do you propose to do that?” the captain argued. “Bandits have made off with the hors-” He stopped, and then spoke up again. “Oh, right.”
Now that the trees had thinned out, Cooper was making much better time. The ants were still a healthy distance away, but they were gaining ground just the same.
Tim heard his sister’s voice. “Where’s Tim?”
“He’s with Cooper,” Julian shouted back at her. “They ought to be coming out any time now.”
And then Tim felt the light of the sun on his face. He looked up and saw that they had cleared the last remaining trees of the forest. He saw his friends up ahead. He saw his sister. He saw Shorty and Greely scrambling into the back of the horseless wagon.
Then he turned his head to look back in the direction they had come from. He saw ants. Dozens of them, maybe hundreds. They crawled out from between the trees all along the perimeter of the forest.
“Dave!” Cooper shouted.
“What?” Dave called back. Tim looked ahead. Dave’s face was as gray as ash.
“Get over here! Tim’s hurt! He’s hurt bad!”
“Tim!” Katherine shouted, running towards Cooper.
Julian ran after her, and Dave followed in behind him. They reached Cooper a few seconds later. The soldier ant in the lead was already tearing a hole in the sack.
“Take Tim,” Cooper shouted.
Before Tim had time to register what was happening, he was wrapped in one of Cooper’s enormous hands. A second later, he was sailing through the air.
He thought of his feet. Landing is going to hurt.
Landing did hurt, though not half as bad as Tim had expected. Julian caught him, and placed him gently on the ground in front of Dave.
Katherine gasped. “What happened to his feet?”
“He’ll be okay,” said Julian, without much conviction in his voice. “Dave. Can you fix him?”
“I’ll do what I can,” said Dave.
“What about Cooper?” Tim asked.
Cooper was facing the approaching ants. He drew his great axe. Without the trees to limit the ants into a single line, they began to spread out. A worker ant crawled up next to the soldier ant nearest Cooper. The soldier ant climbed up onto the sack and looked down at him.
“I’m really angry!” Cooper declared, and swung his axe down at the soldier ant’s head. The blade cleaved straight through the head and lodged into the head of the worker ant, killing the former, and severely wounding the latter.
The worker ant made a half-hearted attempt to bite Cooper, but failed. Katherine’s wolf rushed up and finished the job by tearing a leg off.
“I heal thee!” Tim heard Dave shout above him, and felt the palm of a hand touch his forehead.
Tim opened his eyes wide, sucking in so much air that it seemed he should have expanded to twice his size. He looked down at his feet. They had stopped bleeding, but were still torn and misshapen. Tim moaned, half in ecstasy, and half still in pain.
“Are you okay?” asked Katherine.
“No,” Tim groaned.
“Let me try again,” said Dave.
“Hurry it up, guys,” Cooper shouted, bringing his axe down on another ant. Tim looked back. The workers were starting to surround Cooper, and there looked to be no end of them coming out from the trees. He even spotted a few more soldiers, hurriedly making their way through the workers toward him.
“I heal thee!” Dave shouted, laying his hand on Tim’s forehead again. Relief hit Tim like a wave smashing against a rocky shore.
“Ohmyfuckinggodthatfeelsgood!” Tim shouted. He jumped to his feet and stomped on the ground. “You know, it’s worth having your feet gnawed off by ants just to be healed like that.”
“You’re about to get another chance!” said Cooper, backing up. “Is everyone okay now?”
“I’m good,” said Tim.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” said Cooper, holding two ants at bay with his axe.
Julian, Dave, Katherine and her wolf started running toward the wagon.
“Come on!” Tim shouted at Cooper.
Cooper swatted an ant off the top of the sack with the flat of his axe, grabbed the corners of the canvas, and shouted at Tim. “Run!”
Tim and Cooper raced toward the wagon with a swarm of giant ants in tow. Cooper soon overtook Tim and plucked him up off the ground with his legs still flailing in the air and slung him over one shoulder. Tim could hear the half-orc grunt as he ran. He wasn’t dragging the sack behind him anymore. He was carrying it up off the ground in his right hand.
The rage, Tim thought. He’s even stronger now. He looked up. Giant ants were still pouring out of the woods.
“Everybody in the wagon!” shouted Cooper when he got within thirty yards of the wagon. His raging sprint had put some distance between them and the ants, but it wouldn’t be long before the ants closed the gap.
“Can we all even fit in there?” asked Dave.
Cooper had reached the rest of the party by that point, and answered Dave’s question by picking him up and throwing him into the wagon. He tossed the sack unceremoniously on top of Dave, and then set Tim gently down.
“I don’t get it,” Katherine said to Julian at the front of the wagon. “Where are we supposed to get horses?”
“Let me take care of that,” said Julian. “Can you ride?”
“How the fuck would I know how to ride a… oh wait. Come to think of it, yes I can.”
“Cool,” said Julian. “Then you ride up front with me.”
“Ride what?” asked Katherine.
“Horse!” Julian shouted at the empty air. A brown horse appeared in front of him, complete with bit, bridle, and saddle.
“Nice,” said Katherine. “But won’t it disappear after a few seconds? I mean, that’s what happens when I magic up a wolf.”
“Nah,” said Julian. “This spell lasts a good two hours.” He turned away from her. “Horse!” he said again.
A second horse appeared. This one was black, with patches of white spots here and there, but similarly equipped. The horses remained perfectly still while Julian hitched them to the wagon.
Tim stared in fascination. Horses, saddled and bridled, just appearing out of thin air like that. For such a mundane, often overlooked spell in the game, it was really something to witness firsthand. He watched Julian and Katherine mount their mounts, and then his enchantment was interrupted. Someone lifted him off of the floor.
“Sorry, little dude,” said Chaz. “We’re going to have to sit on each others’ laps until we get clear of those ants.”
Tim looked around. Shorty sat on Greely’s lap across from him and Chaz. Dave sat alone next to Chaz, being too heavy to sit on anyone else’s lap, and not having much in the way of a lap himself. Across from Dave sat Captain Righteous. Cooper stood behind the wagon, brandishing his axe at the first line of ants who were now only yards away. Tim wondered what was going to happen if he attempted to sit on the captain’s lap.
“Julian!” Cooper shouted. “Please tell me you’re ready to go!”
“We’re all set,” Julian shouted back. “Hop in.”
Cooper swung his axe down and caught a soldier ant in the head with the flat of his axe on the upswing. Six feet of ant backflipped into the air, leaving the workers under its command without instruction.
Tim’s worries about the captain’s lap proved to be unfounded. Cooper chose to sit on the floor of the wagon, with his feet hanging off the back. “Go!” he shouted.
“Go, horse!” Julian commanded, and the wagon lurched forward.
Cooper turned his head toward Dave. He didn’t even need to look up. He raised an empty clawed hand. “Crossbow.”
Dave kicked around some of the spilled equipment from the canvas sack until he found two crossbows. He handed one to Cooper, and loaded a bolt into the one he kept for himself. No one objected when Captain Righteous grabbed a bow for himself, but Cooper paused long enough to give him a look w
ith his enraged, swollen red eyes that expressed in no uncertain terms what the penalty would be for turning said bow on anyone inside the wagon. The three of them fended off the ants until the wagon got up to a speed that the ants were unable to keep up with.
“I’ll be having that back now,” said Cooper when they were safely far away enough from the ants. His rage had subsided, but Captain Righteous was still in no position to argue. He handed Cooper the crossbow. Cooper tossed it over his shoulder into the pile of miscellaneous equipment. It landed on something with a clank that made the captain turn his head. From beneath the canvas shone the corner of something large and flat.
“Is that my shield?” asked Captain Righteous.
“Huh?” said Cooper. He craned his neck around to look behind him. “Oh, yeah. I picked it up when you fell asleep.”
The captain’s face brightened for the first time since any of the party had met the man. “Thank the gods!”
“You can owe me one,” said Cooper.
“What is that sticking out from under it? What sort of provisions do you people travel with?” asked Captain Righteous. He reached down, but Dave kicked at his hand.
“Hey,” said Dave. “Mind your hands. No one gave you permission to root around in our shit.”
“What is that?”
“Ant leg,” said Cooper, grabbing it for himself. “God, I’m starving.” He took a bite. “Oh my god, it’s fucking heavenly.”
“Really?” asked Tim.
“Try it,” said Cooper. He passed the leg back to Tim.
It was still warm. Tim took a bite from the fleshy end at the top, where the leg had once connected to the ant’s body. The taste wasn’t entirely unlike that of boiled crawfish, but the texture was off. Ant meat was a lot chewier. Though they hadn’t prepared it with any seasoning, it had a natural spiciness to it. “Shit, he’s right! Who knew ant tasted this good?”
Cooper grabbed a second ant leg, stood up and bit off another chunk of meat. He shouted out to the few remaining ants he could still see. “Thanks for the meal, fuckers!”
The rest of the group devoured the ant meat, and passed some of it along to Katherine and Julian. Tim wondered, if he ever got home and was able to bring some giant ants with him, if they could be farmed. This meat would bring in a whole lot more customers than the Chicken Hut was bringing in.
The only person who didn’t seem to be enjoying the feast was Captain Righteous.
“You know, of course,” said the captain, “that the ants who just attacked us were following the scent of their fallen comrade.”
“No shit?” said Dave through a mouthful of ant. “That’s good information to know for the future.”
“Still,” said Tim. “I think it was worth it for this meat.”
Cooper let out a huge belch, directed at Captain Righteous.
“You, sir, are a truly disgusting creat-” The captain paused. His face became pale and gravely serious. Those of the group who had been laughing now stopped and followed his gaze down to the floor of the wagon, where a severed head looked back up at them.
“You are all animals,” said the captain. “And when I take back my sword that you have stolen from me, I will slaughter you all like the rabid beasts that you are.”
“Yes,” said Tim in his most businesslike tone of voice. “But until then, do you think you’d be open to at least listening to an explanation?”
“Plead for your lives if you like, cowering worms. It will make no difference. I will personally make sure that each of your heads rolls around on the floor of some cart.”
“Okay, good,” said Tim. “Hey Chaz. You’re a bard. You’ve probably got the highest Charisma score of any of us. Maybe you should take this one.”
Chaz started. “Me? Take what?”
“Just explain about the head.”
“That shit all happened before I got here,” said Chaz. “I’ve got no more idea than him why you guys are traveling around with a dude’s head in your bag.”
“Oh yeah.” Tim thought for a moment. He wasn’t going to be able to sell this story. Not on this guy. Not unless Mordred started talking through the head in his presence, and there didn’t seem much chance of Mordred being cooperative. He decided to go with an entirely different approach.
“We outnumber you eight to one,” he continued. “We are armed. You are not. We’ve had many opportunities to kill you, and yet here you sit among us. We could kill you right now, but we don’t. We aren’t murderers.”
“And yet my comrade’s head rolls around on the floor of your stolen wagon.”
“There’s an explanation for that.”
“Oh I’m sure it’s a good one.”
“It’s a long story.”
“It’s a long ride to Cardinia,” said the captain. “Please, feel free to pass the time entertaining me with your lies.”
“Cardinia?” asked Tim. “Is that where we’re going?”
The captain eyed Tim suspiciously. “Unless you know of a different city that this road leads to.”
Dave spoke up. “What kind of place is Cardinia?”
“What?” asked the captain. He looked around as if waiting for a punchline, but everyone continued to stare back at him expectantly. “How is it that you don’t know of Cardinia?”
“We’re not from around here,” said Tim.
“I was informed that you were traveling from that direction when you attacked-” he looked down at the head on the floor.”
“Put that in a bag, would you Cooper?” said Tim.
“Oh, right,” said Cooper. He put the head in his bag. “Sorry about that. Go on.”
Captain Righteous stared at the half-orc in confused disgust.
“So it’s a big city then, is it?” asked Tim, hoping to bring the captain’s attention back to him.
“Huh?” said the captain, turning back to Tim. “Oh, yes. Is it a big city? It’s only the second biggest city in the entire realm.” He looked around in astonishment at all of the faces looking back at him, obviously thirsty for information that should be common knowledge. “How is it that none of you have heard of Cardinia? Her port serves as a trading hub for ships from all over Dalgar.”
“And Dalgar,” Tim continued. “I’m sorry. This is going to sound like a stupid question, but since you already don’t have a very high opinion of us, what the hell. Is Dalgar the name of this realm? Or is it-”
“Dalgar is the name of the world!” exclaimed the captain. “Where are you people from?”
“Not from Dalgar,” said Cooper.
“Our planet is called Earth,” said Tim.
“Your planet?” said the captain. “There isn’t a planet in the heavens called Earth. Do you mean to say you descended here from the stars? You’re all mad!”
“Yeah,” said Tim. “I figured you’d think that. So anyway, if this Cardinia is a world-wide trading port, it should be pretty big. Maybe we can find some information there.”
“Information about what?” asked Chaz.
“About getting home.”
“Mordred was pretty clear about that not being a possibility,” said Dave. “But he said there are dozens of other people he sent here. We might run into some of them.”
“I’ll settle for finding some booze and smokes first,” said Cooper. “This town ought to have some decent taverns.”
“All you are going to find in Cardinia,” said the captain, “is a swift end to your worthless lives.”
There followed an uncomfortable silence.
Tim cleared his throat. “So, how long a ride is it to Cardinia?”
Captain Righteous sighed. “At this pace, we should be there before nightfall.”
Chapter 20
Every second of the next hour and a half passed by at a snail’s pace for Dave. The sun glared down on them, and without the protection of the canvas cover, most of the party succumbed to exhaustion. The relative safety of the moment made for a good time to take a nap. Even Katherine looked to be h
aving trouble keeping her eyes open atop her horse. Julian may or may not have been in one of his elf trances. It was hard to tell from behind him, and while he was wearing that ridiculous sombrero.
Tim was sprawled out on the floor of the wagon just below Dave’s feet. He looked peaceful. In fact, everyone seemed to either be dozing or well on their way to it. Everyone, that is, except for himself and Captain Righteous. Dave chanced a glance at him, and was met with the captain’s steely stare. Dave turned away.
Whatever sense of peace and security everyone else was feeling, Dave didn’t feel it at all. Sure, they were now well beyond the reach of the ants, and that was good. And yeah, Captain Righteous was unarmed and technically their prisoner, but that was of small comfort. Dave could see in the captain’s eyes that he was forming a plan, waiting for an opportunity to present itself. And even if no such opportunity arose, then what? What were they going to do with him? Just send him on his way in this new city? He’d be rearmed and up their asses again in no time.
Every now and again, they would pass a cart or wagon headed in the opposite direction, presumably on its way to Algor. Upon seeing the state of the party’s wagon, and the unlikely combination of races riding in it, most of them would give it a wide berth and hurry their horses along without so much as a friendly wave on the way past.
Dave leaned back and tried to formulate some sort of plan in his mind for what their next move should be. Most of all, he thought about how they were going to get back home. Mordred couldn’t really be planning to keep them here indefinitely. And what about the police? Six people just went missing. Surely there would be an investigation. They’d find Mordred’s tire tracks. DNA. Phone records. Dave slumped forward, cradling his bearded face in his meaty hands. No, they’ll probably just walk into the Chicken Hut, see the role-playing books and dice, and write us all off as having made a suicide pact or something.
“What the f-“ shouted Julian. Dave looked up, but saw only a sombrero floating down like a leaf where Julian should have been. “Gowrrgh- shit!” Julian continued, but his voice was coming from below the wagon this time.
