by Lisa Cardiff
“Cam and I broke up last night,” Bre whispered, avoiding Sara’s eyes.
“What? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Sara said, reaching out to squeeze Bre’s hand.
“I’m not ready to talk about it, so don’t tell anyone. I need time to let it sink in.”
“I would never tell anyone. It’s your business.” Sara sighed. “What are you going to do about the ticket to LA?”
“I know I should go to figure out where the relationship stands. We broke up, but Cam doesn’t believe it’s over. Going to visit would give us both some closure.”
“Or you could work things out.”
“Maybe,” Bre said skeptically. “I was so mad at Cam last night, and I said and did some really mean things.”
“You shouldn’t have been nice. If Jax could stop in town for a night, Cam certainly could have done so, too. Besides, I don’t get why he’s always sending Jax in his place. Jax is just as busy as Cam, and you would think he would want to be the one to surprise you rather than having Jax do it. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t know why Jax always agrees to do it.”
“Cam works a lot and manages the business side of the band. Jax doesn’t need to work and we’re friends.” Bre shrugged, hoping Sara would stop questioning her about Jax.
“Seems as though there’s more to it than that.”
“I can’t think about it right now,” Bre said curtly. “I have to finish this sale.”
Sara hesitated, a suspicious look on her face. “Maybe Jax has a thing for you.”
“What?” Bre replied, horrified by the direction of the conversation. “Jax and I are friends. That’s it. Why would he be interested in me when he has hundreds of girls waiting in line for a chance with him?”
“Because you’re smart, successful, funny, and beautiful. Why wouldn’t he be interested in you? After all, the simplest explanation is always the best explanation.”
“Mmm… maybe he couldn’t possibly be interested because I’m dating his best friend. Did you think about that?”
“You aren’t anymore. Besides, there are no rules in love and war,” Sara said with a carefree flip of her hair.
“Sara, don’t be ridiculous. Jax is the classic alpha male. He doesn’t do love. He charms, seduces, and discards women without blinking an eye and even a giant flashing neon sign warning women wouldn’t keep them away. Women gather around him like moths to flames,” Bre replied, rolling her eyes. Instead of sounding indifferent, her voice came out sounding jealous and uncertain. Feeling color starting to flood her cheeks, she stood up and walked out of her office without turning to look at Sara. She couldn’t help wondering how many lies she would have to tell about Jax before this whole thing became a distant memory.
“Bre,” Ellen called as she walked out of her office. “Todd and I are going to leave.”
Bre hugged Ellen. “Thanks for coming. I know art isn’t your thing, but I appreciate your support.”
“We wouldn’t have missed it. Everything was wonderful. We’re so proud of you. You may not be our daughter by blood, but we’ve always considered you the daughter of our heart.”
Bre swallowed hard. She prayed Todd and Ellen wouldn’t turn their back on her if they knew she and Cam were no longer together or if they found out about her and Jax. They were the parents she’d never had. She didn’t want to lose them. “Thanks. Your family means the world to me.”
When the gallery was finally returned to its pre-event state, it was past midnight. Bre had sent Michael and Sara home an hour ago in a thinly veiled attempt to dodge their questions about Cam and the plane ticket that Jax delivered on his behalf. Grabbing her purse and the flowers from her desk, she took one last look around the gallery that had become such an important part of her life and then she left.
Before crawling into her unmade bed, she noticed a couple more texts from Cam saying he was sorry, and he couldn’t wait to see her next weekend. Not ready to talk to him yet, she sent him a one-word response.
Forgiven.
Rolling to her side in the bed, she wrapped the pillow around her head in an unsuccessful attempt to block out her thoughts. She nearly jumped out of her bed when she smelled Jax’s spicy scent on her sheets. Guilt coiled around her like a snake, imploring her to rip off her sheets and wash them. Fleetingly, she thought it would be wonderful if washing them would remove the stain of guilt on her conscience. If it weren’t so late, she would have done exactly that. Realizing she was being ludicrous, she forced herself to close her eyes and stay where she was.
Early in the morning, she heard her phone vibrating on her nightstand. When she saw Cam’s picture on the screen, she wanted to ignore the call, but she knew ignoring Cam wouldn’t make the situation go away, it would only make him suspicious, and that was something she couldn’t handle right now. At the slightest inquiry, she knew she would crumble into a million pieces and confess. She had never told Cam a single lie, not when they were kids and not since they started dating. Whether by omission now and perhaps denial at some later date, she hated that she had decided to lie to him.
She constantly told people that she completely trusted Cam despite the groupies swarming around their band like a bunch of circling sharks waiting for a moment of weakness. It amazed her that even local bands had groupies, but she held to her belief that their lifelong friendship meant too much to Cam to jeopardize it with meaningless hookups. She couldn’t wrap her arms around the fact that she was the unfaithful one, the one to risk their friendship for a one-night fling with his friend.
“Cam,” she said, after pressing talk on the screen of her phone.
“Bre, I’m glad you finally decided to answer my call. I was starting to wonder if you were avoiding me.”
Bre cleared her throat, still thick from sleep. “Of course not. The gallery opening monopolized my day.”
“Oh, right. I forgot. How did your little party go?”
Gritting her teeth, Bre responded. “Great. We exceeded our sales goal.”
“Nice. Hold on a second.”
Hearing muffled voices in the background, Bre was curious who was in his apartment so early in the morning. “Cam, who’s there?”
“Nobody… just the cleaning lady.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Look, I don’t have time to talk, I just wanted to make sure Jax gave you the plane ticket.”
“Yes, thanks. That was really thoughtful,” Bre said, throwing the sheets off her body.
“Right,” he cleared his throat. “So I’ll see you Thursday.”
“I’m really busy at the gallery. Maybe we can push it off another week.”
He groaned. “You’re still mad at me.”
“No, what do you mean?”
“Bre, I hear it in your voice. Something’s wrong. You can pretend like you’re fine, but we’ve known each other a long time. I can tell you’re still pouting that I cancelled my visit.”
“No. Really Cam, I’m over it. Sure, you shocked me when you cancelled the same day you planned to visit. I wish I had more notice, but I’m over it. I understand.”
“So this means we’re back together, right? I can’t believe you tried to dump me over the phone. Not cool, Bre.”
“Look, I’ll come visit you, and we’ll figure out what to do about us. I think we need to work through some things, so it’s probably a good idea for us to see each other, but I’m not promising anything.”
“Great,” Cam said, clearly preoccupied. “I’ll see you Thursday, and Bre, everything is fine between us. Don’t try to psychoanalyze everything.”
“We’ll see,” Bre responded noncommittally. She didn’t feel right making any decisions about her relationship with Cam right now.
“Listen, I have to work late on Thursday, so I’ll get Jax to pick you up at the airport.”
“No,” she protested a little to fiercely. “I mean, please don’t bother Jax. I’ll take a cab, or better yet, I’ll rent a car so I can do my own thing when you’re busy.”
&n
bsp; “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she replied, relief pouring out of her one word answer. Maybe she had to see Cam in a couple days, but she would do everything in her power to avoid Jax while she was in LA. She wasn’t ready for that encounter yet, if ever. Every thought or mention of Jax made her feel raw and exposed.
Hearing the muffled voices in the background again, she seized the opportunity to end the conversation before Cam further inquired about her mood. “It sounds like you’re busy, so… I’ll see you soon.”
“Right. Bye, Bre. Love you.”
Cam hung up the phone before she could say anything. He’d been so preoccupied lately, causing her to feel neglected and unwanted. She couldn’t remember the last time they had a conversation of substance. He shared some highlights of his life, and she tried to share some information with him. While she always made sure to ask about every little event in his life, Cam seemed to have less and less interest in anything happening in her life. He hadn’t asked about the gallery in months. In fact, she wasn’t sure he could even tell her the name of her gallery if she questioned him.
While none of that was unanticipated, given the realities of a long-distance relationship, it did concern her that nothing improved when they spent time together. Even in person, Cam seemed preoccupied; almost as if there were a million things he would prefer to be doing rather than spending time with her. Their conversation was stilted, and Cam rarely detached from his phone for more than ten minutes at a time.
Quite frankly, it surprised her that Cam didn’t notice or care how much time she spent with Jax. He even encouraged her to do things with Jax. Though she hadn’t shared her fears with any of her friends, in her mind, regularly putting Jax in her path was just one more piece of evidence that he took her for granted, that he didn’t love her like he used to. The sad part of that statement was that she didn’t know if she cared, and that scared her even more than the depressing state of her relationship with Cam.
Chapter Twenty
Three days and seven hours after he walked out of Bre’s house, not that he had been counting, Jax sat at a dark, overly loud bar after Chasing Ruin’s latest performance, holding a glass of whiskey in his hand. His dark sunglasses allowed him to ignore the women waiting for him to signal his interest. It wouldn’t happen tonight or anytime soon.
Admittedly, it felt good to perform. It was just him, his band, the music, and a sea of adoring women. Regrettably¸ none of it gave him more than a two-hour distraction from thinking about Bre.
He spent the last three days practicing with the band and avoiding Katie, but he still hadn’t been able to erase Bre from his mind. He’d be playing his guitar, writing music, going on his evening run, or laying in bed, and suddenly he’d find himself reliving every moment of his night with Bre.
In fact, he found himself thinking about Bre a lot when he was alone in his bed—alone being the key word. The images of her pushing him down on the bed, crawling on top of him while biting on that plump lower lip of hers would be etched in his mind eternally. Right next to the memory of her kicking him out in the morning telling him she loved Cam.
Based on his history, the night with Bre should have been ideal. One night of mind-blowing sex with an incredibly sexy woman who wanted absolutely nothing in return. It was everything he’d wanted from a woman for as long as he could remember. In theory, he could now close the book on his attraction to Bre that had been eating him up since he first laid his eyes on her. Too bad he refused to listen to his own logic.
“You’re a little off your game tonight,” Cam said, slapping him across his shoulders and interrupting his thoughts.
“Whatever.” Jax eyed Cam with barely concealed distaste. Cam smirked at him with a beer bottle in one hand and the other wrapped possessively around Anna, who sat on his lap. Jax felt some satisfaction when he slammed his empty glass on the counter, making her flinch.
Cam laughed. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on? You haven’t said more than a couple words to me since you came home early from Aspen.”
“Nothing to tell,” Jax said, signaling the bartender to refill of his drink. Anymore, he hated hanging out in the bars after a performance. He felt as if he were watching a movie stuck on repeat. Why hadn’t the stale smell of spilled alcohol and mindless people grinding on the dance floor bothered him before?
Cam shrugged. “Fine. I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
Ignoring Cam, Jax looked around the bar. He and Bre agreed not to tell Cam what happened, but Jax still had a hard time talking to Cam. He couldn’t decide if he felt guilty or angry when he thought about Cam. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Katie said you’ve been ignoring her, too.”
“Screw Katie,” Jax snapped. That girl would never quit bothering him. Thanks to his dad, she got it in her head that he was going to marry her and she wouldn’t let it go. If she assumed he would succumb to family pressure to marry her at some point, she was dead wrong. If he didn’t cave when his dad cut him off for refusing to work for the family business, he certainly wouldn’t cave and marry Katie.
“I think you already did,” Cam responded, laughing at his juvenile comment.
“Yeah. Whatever. Is Bre still coming tomorrow?” The moment he said her name, Jax wanted to throw his drink. His thoughts kept circling back to her. It was as if she had imprinted herself on his soul.
“Is it Wednesday already?” Cam grumbled.
“Are you serious? You’re such an ass. Why did you bothering buying her the ticket? I don’t get why you didn’t leave things alone.”
“What’s you problem?” Cam questioned, totally baffled by Jax’s attitude.
Jax couldn’t listen to one more word. He pointed his finger at Cam. “I’ll tell you what my problem is.”
Cam lightly pushed Anna off his lap, effectively dismissing her from his presence. “I sense I should make myself comfortable.”
Ignoring Cam’s sarcasm, Jax turned to face Cam. “Bre is my problem. Maybe you’re comfortable ditching her at the last minute and playing the field while she’s completely oblivious to it all, but I can’t watch it anymore.”
“I don’t see how any of that’s your business,” Cam said, peeling the damp label off his beer bottle.
“You made it my business when you asked me to cover for you. You know as well as I do that it’s only a matter of time before Bre catches on and figures out what you’re doing.”
Cam eyed him hesitantly. “Do you really believe that she’ll find out? It’s not like anyone knows her except for you and the other guys.”
“I think what you’re doing is obvious to everyone except Bre. The only reason she isn’t suspicious is because the two of you have been friends since you were kids and she trusts you.”
“What are you saying?”
Jax opened his mouth and then he changed his mind. He really didn’t know what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t watch Cam mistreat Bre any longer. She deserved so much more. “You have to decide what you want.”
“I know what I want. It’s Bre. She’s the girl I’m going to marry.”
“If you know you want to marry her, why are you wasting your time with other women? It’s not fair to Bre. Do you really expect her to sit around waiting for you until you decide it’s the right time to marry her?”
“She’s not sitting around waiting for me. She’s doing her own thing, and I’m doing mine. We both have our own goals. Eventually, it will all come together, and we’ll get married. Sounds fair to me.”
“Get real. She doesn’t have any idea what you mean by doing your own thing. I’m positive that she doesn’t think that includes doing groupies or going on trips with Anna.”
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. I’m following my dream and everything that entails, and she’s exploring her art hobby. Once we’re done doing those things, we’ll have each other, and we’ll both be happy and satisfied, not bitter because we sacrificed opportunities to be with each o
ther.”
“Wow. I don’t want to touch that comment. That’s some seriously fucked up logic.”
“Whatever,” Cam shrugged. “Why do you care? You’re not a saint. It’s not like you haven’t indulged in your share of groupies.”
“Right, but I don’t pretend to be in a committed monogamous relationship with someone.”
“Tell that to Katie. I think she’d disagree,” Cam snapped.
“Katie is delusional. What happened between Katie and me doesn’t compare to your relationship with Bre. I never lied to Katie about what I wanted from her. She chooses to believe she can change my mind.”
“I’m not lying to Bre, either. She knows I’m going to marry her. Hooking up with other women is just a phase. It’s not going to last forever. All this could be gone tomorrow, and I don’t want to have any regrets or resentment toward Bre for holding me back.”
“Then let her go. You can be friends, and when you’re ready to be committed to her, you get her back.”
“I can’t do that. What if she found someone else?” Cam ran his hand through his hair. “Shit, I can’t even imagine what I would do if she were ever with anyone else. It’s not an option. She’s mine.”
“You talk about her as if she’s some sort of possession,” Jax said.
“You don’t understand. Bre needs me. I’ve been taking care of her since we were kids, so she’s mine. I’ve earned her.”
“What if she found out about the other women? What would she do?” Jax asked, his anger escalating with every minute the conversation continued. He used to consider Cam a friend, but he didn’t respect him anymore. Cam lost more of himself with every incremental success of Chasing Ruin. He didn’t even know if he would recognize Cam if they actually signed a record deal.
“She won’t find out, so there’s no point talking about what Bre would do. Like you said, she trusts me and no one’s going to tell her otherwise.”
Jax ran his finger along the rim of his drink and took a long swallow. “What about that crazy chick from home that always comes to our shows? Isn’t she the reason you keep cancelling on Bre?”
