“Kaniyah, baby. Are you okay?” He asked as he ran over to me and wrapped me in his arms.
I broke down in his arms and cried out all of my pain as he told me it would be alright.
“Shhh baby, it’s okay. I’m here now. Come on baby. I will take care of you.” Anthony said as he took my bag off my arm and continued to hold me with the other arm.
I let him hold me up at that moment when I really felt like I would fall apart. I felt his love as he walked me up to the edge of the curb and opened the door. I continued to weep and cling to him as he threw my bag inside his car then turned back to help me in. Just as I was about to get in I heard some commotion down the street in the direction I had come from and KJ yelled my name from behind me.
“Na Na!! KANIYAH! DON’T GET IN THAT FUCKING CAR!” KJ yelled as he came running towards us so fast he looked like one of the monsters on 30 Days of Night.
“What’s going on?” Anthony asked as I pushed past him and jumped into the car and told him we had to go.
I watched him look back at the big dread headed nigga coming towards us cursing and crying before he quickly closed the door, ran around and jumped in. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I looked out the window right into KJ’s face and Anthony pulled off.
“NA NAAAAAA!” KJ yelled as we sped down the street and out of sight.
As soon as we were gone I sat back in my seat and breathed a sigh of relief as I cried. I cried for the brother I had to walk away from and the innocence I left behind. I didn’t even feel like myself as I rode and cried and Anthony tried to console me. I just felt numb from my head to my toes, numb and deeply hurt. I hoped that someday soon that feeling would end as I looked over at Anthony.
“Baby, are you okay? You look pale. Have you eaten Kaniyah?” Anthony asked me in this fatherly tone that made me laugh a little through my tears.
Seeing him all concerned and protective like he was my father was both hilarious and heartwarming. It took him off guard though because he looked over at me like I was crazy.
“What? What’s so funny Kaniyah? Don’t tell me you going Gothika on me.” Anthony said and I laughed a little harder while I wiped away my tears.
“No, I’m not crazy. I was just laughing because you sounded like my daddy. Asking me have I eaten and shit, next you gonna try to cover me up or something.” I said as I laughed and Anthony joined in with nervous laughter of his own.
Anthony avoided eye contact for a minute after that statement, but I continued to stare at the side of his face anyway. As I sat there and looked at him I couldn’t help but to wonder why my saying that had made him so nervous. I was just about to ask that too when my phone rang and I pulled it out to see that it was Rah. I started not to answer for her because I knew KJ had called her, but I didn’t want to have everybody worried. It was bad enough my brother was out running, crying, and searching for me, I didn’t want to bring my best friend the same stress and run the risk of her calling my uncles. That was the last thing I needed so I cleared my throat and smiled at Anthony before I answered the phone.
“Wasup Rah?” Was all I had a chance to say before my best friend went in.
Rah’s voice was so high and shrill at that moment I had to hold the phone back so that she wouldn’t burst my fucking eardrums.
“NA NA what the fuck going on? Where the hell are you? KJ just called me and he freaking the fuck out. He said something bad happened and you left. Are you okay sis and who are you with?” Rah asked me quickly without even taking a breath between questions.
I had to sit there for a second and remember everything she asked before I came up with an answer.
“I’m good Rah. I just had to get the fuck out of there. Me and her just can’t get along, probably never will, but tonight took the cake. I can’t talk about it right now, but just know I’m okay. I’m not going back there tonight because if I do I might hurt Spicy.” I said as Anthony made a low grunting noise and I glanced over at him.
I wondered what that sound was about but I didn’t dwell on it as I turned my attention back to Rah.
“Maine, Spicy need to stop her shit. Every day she hurts you more. It’s okay though sis because yo future gonna be so bright you gonna blind her ass with success. Just wait until you are published and the bucks coming rolling in. Spicy gonna be licking yo ass sis, just watch. Anyway though, I just had to make sure you were okay because KJ act like you ran away with a pimp or sex trafficker how he was going crazy.” Rah said as she laughed but I didn’t laugh at all.
It hurt me even more to know what I was doing to my brother, but I had to do what was best for me for once. I told Rah that too and asked her to call KJ back and tell him I was good.
“Just ease his fears for me sis and tell him I might come back after school tomorrow if she not there.” I said to Rah as she said she would and then asked me again who I was with.
“You already know sis. Who else? He seems to be all I have right now.” I said to Rah as she said Anthony’s name and I looked over at him.
He smiled at me with those seductive eyes and then reached over to squeeze my hand. I really felt he was the only person I had at that moment but Rah didn’t agree.
“I knew you were with his ass, I’m kind of glad he could help you though. Just be careful Na Na and don’t give up no cookie and you’ll be straight. Text me as soon as you get where you are going and send me his fucking address. I know he cool and all but I need to know where you are in case I gotta fuck pops old ass up.” Rah said and I burst out laughing at her silly ass.
Rah told me she was dead serious though and that she loved me as I told her I loved her too.
“Aiight Rah, I will be sure to do that.” I said as I tried to rush her off the phone.
“Don’t be rushing me bitch. Yo ass better text me too or else. Oh, and don’t forget about in the morning, be here at around 7. We can go do that shit and still go to school if you want to.” Rah said as I hesitated for a minute, mad that she was still going through with it.
Deep down I knew that she would I just still held on to a little hope that she would have a change of heart. Rah wasn’t trying to hear shit though she just wanted to make her problem disappear. I couldn’t even blame her either, even though I was against abortions. Hell, I wanted to erase my pain too just as much as she did.
“Okay sis. You know how I feel, but I’ll be there anyway.” I told Rah as she thanked me then I got ready to hang up the phone.
Rah stopped me before I could hang up as she told me one of the reasons she was definitely going through with it.
“Look, I know how you feel Na Na, but how I live is no way to raise a baby. Tiff on the verge of putting my ass out and bitches been calling playing on my phone all night saying they gonna beat my ass. The killing part is I don’t even know who the bitches are because I fuck with so many dudes. I gotta change Na, for real and this is my first step.” Rah said with sincerity and I told her I understood.
I told my friend that I would be there and how much I loved her before we finally hung up the phone. As soon as I was off of the phone Anthony pulled up in front of Chilli’s then leaned over to kiss me.
“You are such a great person and a wonderful friend Kaniyah, I can’t see how anyone would hurt you. Just know that I’m here whenever you want to talk about it and I’ll never leave you.” Anthony said as he leaned over and kissed me again while he wrapped me in his arms.
His kiss was so passionate when our lips touched that he took my breath away. I just sat there frozen as his tongue darted in and out of my mouth and he ran his fingers through my hair. When he let, me go my numbness was gone and it was replaced with an intense tingling. I panted as I stared at Anthony’s loving eyes and thanked him for being there for me.
“Always baby, I’ll always be here for you as long as you want me to be. Now, you sit your beautiful ass here and relax while I go get our food. I ordered us something on my way because I knew you would need it.” Anthony said as he leaned
over and kissed me again, smiled, then hopped out.
I smiled from my heart as I watched his sexy, smooth ass walk into the restaurant then I got on my phone and texted my brother. I told KJ everything I had told Rah to tell him before he texted back and told me to come home. I replied and told him that I couldn’t right now and that I loved him before he sent back ok. Seeing just those two letters broke my heart again because I knew what they meant. I knew my brother was giving up and was mad I wouldn’t listen to him. I hated to think he was mad at me too but I felt like that was how it had to be.
“Damn!” I said to myself as I sat my phone down and turned on the radio.
I let the slow, 70’s song that was playing soothe my soul as my tears began to fall again. I closed my eyes and held myself tightly as I thought about my life. I searched my memory for happier times, back when my heart didn’t hurt so bad. I saw myself as a little girl about 7 and semi-happy out shopping with Spicy. In my mind, I saw her smiling down at me and I wished I could get that back. I must have drifted off while strolling my memory because the next thing I knew Anthony was lifting me up out of the car and carrying me into his house.
“Where are we?” I asked as I opened my eyes and he toted me into his garage door, through the kitchen and into the living room.
“You at my house baby, in Mississippi. Your new home if you want it to be. Now, sit your beautiful self-down here and let me go back out to get the food.” Anthony said as he sat me down on his black, plush sectional, kissed my forehead, then ran back outside.
When he was gone I sat there for a minute and looked around his nicely decorated living room. He had a big 72-inch plasma, a huge stereo, and a mantle full of trophies on the opposite wall from the couch. His walls were lined with black artwork and some old pictures of him. I spotted a picture of him at Liberty Land from my seat and I had to get up to go look at it. When I got closer to the picture I saw that it was really old and that Anthony looked really young. He had to be no more than 17 in the picture, but he was just as sexy as the older him. I felt a bit confused as I looked at that picture and remembered Anthony had said he moved to Memphis when he was 25.
I knew that was a lie because the picture showed him in Memphis before I was even born. That made me think and grow a bit suspicious of him as I continued to stand and look at the picture. There was something in his eyes that was so familiar I just felt this connection. I must have stood there for a while too because the next thing I knew Anthony was behind me.
“Wasup beautiful, you ready to eat?” He asked as he kissed my neck then looked to see what I was staring at.
As soon as his eyes grazed that picture he let me go and began to explain. “I-I-I.” He stuttered as I turned to look at him.
I gave him one of my mother’s, nigga you lying looks as his face went beet red.
“Oh, I see you were staring at that pic. I bet you got questions huh?” Anthony said as I continued to glare at him with my arms folded in front of me then shook my head yes.
Anthony looked nervous as hell as he closed then opened his eyes and shook his head before he grabbed my hand.
“Okay, let’s talk about it over food.” He said as he led me back to the couch and the buffet of food he had bought.
I sat there and watched him as he filled our plates then handed mine to me. Anthony instantly began to dig into his food but I just continued to sit there and look at him. I was still waiting on him to answer my question because I needed to know why he had lied. After a few minutes of him just sitting there and eating but not looking at me, I grew tired and asked him the question I needed answered.
“So are you going to tell me why you lied to me Anthony? I thought you didn’t come to Memphis until you were 25? In that picture you look 17, so tell me…am I missing something?” I asked as Anthony almost choked on the piece of fish that he was eating.
I waited until he stopped choking and had drank some of his soda before I leaned over and grabbed his face so that he would look at me.
“Look Anthony, I have a lot going on in my life right now, I don’t need you lying to me too. Whatever it is just say it because lies will only make it worse.” I said as Anthony grabbed my hand from his cheek and brought it to his mouth.
He kissed my hand gently before he looked at me with tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry I lied to you Kaniyah. I just didn’t want to bring up my past. I should have told you I’m originally from Memphis though and that I moved away the year that picture was taken.” Anthony said as I asked him why he had to lie. “I lied because I didn’t want to run you off. I lied because I didn’t want you to know how broken I am. My life here in Memphis, living in a foster home was hell, so I chose to erase it from my mind. I don’t think I really started living until I turned 18 and found my birth mom. That’s why my story began there. That’s when I really started living.” Anthony said as a tear fell from his eye and I reached over to wipe it away.
At first I was mad because he had lied, but after hearing what he had to say I felt nothing but compassion for the gentle giant who had gone through too much just like me. I felt nothing but love as I grabbed Anthony’s face again, pulled him to me and kissed him. I kissed his juicy lips gently before I kissed all his tears away and sat back.
“Damn, you broke me down already girl. Shit, you like Judge Judy.” Anthony said as he laughed, sat back up straight, wiped his face, and tried to get his shit together.
I laughed along with him as I grabbed a piece of fish off my plate and popped it into my mouth.
“I’m sorry for real though baby because I shouldn’t have lied to you. If you don’t want to talk to me anymore behind this, I completely understand.” Anthony said as I shook my head no and told him not to lie to me again.
He promised that he wouldn’t before he kissed me again then we began to eat. We pigged out like we had been in a jail a year then fell back on to the couch to watch Netflix. I fell asleep that night on the couch in Anthony’s arms as his love slowly mended my broken heart.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon frying and the sound of Anthony’s voice.
“I know you wonna leave me, but I refuse to let you go!” Anthony sang as I sat up on the couch and looked around.
I smiled just hearing him all happy and shit, feeling high off our love. I felt that same feeling slowly building up in my heart too until I suddenly remembered the night I had which lead me to Anthony. That made me remember Rah and what we were supposed to do so I stood up and looked for my phone.
“What time is it Anthony?” I yelled over his singing as I searched the tables for my purse.
I was marching frantically around the room by the time Anthony came in from the kitchen.
“Well good morning Sunshine, did you sleep well?” Anthony asked as he came over to kiss me and I told him that I did.
“What time is it though? And where is my purse?” I asked as he laughed.
“OH, it’s about noon and your purse is right there.” He said as he pointed to the cabinet by the door.
I stared at him crazy before I dashed over to the cabinet and took my purse out.
“After noon? What the fuck? Anthony, why didn’t you wake me up? I was supposed to take Rah somewhere at 7. Did she call my phone?” I asked as I took my phone out of my purse and noticed that my phone was off.
I looked back up at Anthony irritated as hell while he held up his hands.
“Baby, I was gonna wake you up but you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to disturb you. Your phone had been ringing all night and morning so I cut it off to let you sleep. I’m sorry baby. I was just looking out for you.” Anthony said as I sighed and turned my phone on to see all the missed calls and texts.
I saw that Rah had called me fifty times and left a dozen text messages. I went through her texts and damn near died as I read them to myself. First, she texted sweetly at six am asking me where I was at. By 730 she was angry and telling me I was wrong. At 11 she sai
d I wasn’t her friend if I couldn’t stick by her like she did me and at noon she said she was walking home from the clinic and about to get jumped. As soon as I read that I was on go as I ran back over to the couch, slipped on my shoes, and told Anthony to take me home.
“What? Why Kaniyah? I’m sorry for turning off your phone. Are you mad at me? I thought I was helping baby.” Anthony said as he stood in the doorway and I shook my head.
“Yeah, I’m mad because you did that, more so because you touched my phone at all but right now I’m more concerned about my friend. Take me home now please. I need to check on Rah.” I said as Anthony seemed to relax a little and told me that he would.
I stood there in the door as I watched him mope over to the stove and turn off the breakfast he was cooking.
“You sure you won’t stay to eat?” Anthony asked as I shook my head no and headed out of the garage door.
I was already at the car when he came out and I wasted no time jumping in. As soon as Anthony had cranked up and we were backing out of the garage I took my phone out again. The first thing I did was memorize Anthony’s address and put it in a memo in my phone. After that I called Rah but her phone just continued to ring.
“Damn Rah, I hope you okay.” I said to myself as Anthony asked what was wrong.
I told him quickly that Rah was in trouble as we made our way through traffic. The entire ride back to Frayser I was quiet and on my phone trying to get a hold of Rah. I didn’t say a word to Anthony until he had parked in the exact spot he picked me up in. Only then did I turn to look at his sad face and some of my anger disappeared.
“Look Anthony, I’m not mad at you baby. I just wish you would have woken me up. Rah in some real trouble so I gotta go help her out. Thank you for coming to help me though. I really appreciate having you in my life.” I said as I leaned over to hug and kiss him and his sadness instantly disappeared.
Pregnant By My Mother's Rapist Page 12
