“Maine, I don’t know. You know you women emotional as fuck. I just know she been on that fucking phone a lot lately cussing and threatening a muthafucka. I tried to ask her and she said it wasn’t my business, so I’ma leave it like that. But what is my business is you Na Na. Tell me wasup with you. Who is this Anthony nigga and what he about? Hell, when we gonna meet him?” KJ asked me trying to get information on Anthony like Spicy had told him to.
Part of me was mad as hell that he would spy on me for the bitch, but I was trying really hard to work through that, despite my true feelings. That’s why I pushed my irritation and the nasty ass words that threatened to come out of my lips to the pit of my stomach and told my brothers what I wanted them to know about my man.
“He a good dude KJ and yes, he is 29-years-old. He is originally from Memphis where he was in foster care but he left when he was 17. He opened his own construction company when he was 25 and moved back to Memphis to expand. He’s hard working, sincere, kind, and he cares a lot about me. I care a lot about him too. Sooo, what else you want to know Inspector Gadget looking ass lil boy?” I asked KJ with a hint of irritation in my voice and he laughed then asked something else.
“Okay that’s all good, but where that nigga stay? When he coming so we can meet him? You now that shit is required. Uncle Tootie will be over in a minute so call yo boo to meet the crew.” KJ said with a sly smile on his face as Ky and Kam joined in.
“Yeah, where he stay Na Na?” Kam asked as he eyed KJ.
“And when he coming cause I got some shit to ask HIM!” Ky said as he sucked his teeth and then shoveled food into his mouth.
I looked at all of them as they sat there and waited like I was stupid enough to tell them all that. Instead I just put my head down and continued to eat like they hadn’t said shit. I wasn’t about to set Anthony up like that and cause more problems than we already had. That’s why I just sat there and continued to play dumb as my brothers kept asking questions. After a few minutes of them asking and getting no response from me, the conversation turned from cordial to an all out argument as KJ tested my gangsta again.
“Come on sis, what the fuck is this? We ain’t never hid SHIT from each other. You better not be letting this nothing ass nigga come along and change what we got. Hell, look at Rah she got a new nigga and I heard it’s a nigga y’all got into it with. Yet and still Rah still around and still showing love to her family whether the nigga like it or not. Is that it Na? Is the nigga beating you or some shit? He won’t let you come kick it with yo family cause he insecure? Huh? Speak up Na Na, now is the time for you to say all the shit you want to say.” KJ said as I finally looked up at him with tears in my eyes.
I felt like I was being attacked and the walls were closing in on me as my brothers stared me down. After the great day we had I couldn’t see why my brothers were being such asses. Then I remember it was under Spicy’s direction and I couldn’t hold back my emotions anymore.
“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP Y’ALL DAMN. JUST LEAVE IT ALONE. HE MY MAN NOT YOURS, SO ALL THIS AIN’T NECESSARY. DAMN!” I yelled as everyone looked at me shocked and Rah reached over to rub my back.
I wiped away my tears before I began to eat again then looked at KJ. When I looked at him I saw hurt in his eyes again, but I wanted him to see it in mine as well. I just stared him down as I wiped away every tear that fell then he mouthed the words, I’m Sorry. That made me feel a little better as everybody slowly got back to the normal conversation.
My good feeling didn’t last long though because suddenly Spicy popped back in the room. She walked back into the kitchen with a mischievous expression on her face as she strolled around the table straight to me. I felt the rage I had pushed down to the pit of my stomach begin to boil as I pretended she wasn’t even there.
“Um um um, a damn shame. You know what KANIYAH, you’re just like me. Whether you want to admit it or not you just like your mama; selfish and gullible as fuck. Your brothers are just concerned about your funky ass but you too mad to see it. Don’t take what you feel for me out on them ole sour ass lil girl.” Spicy said as my brothers told her to stop and I huffed and puffed like a dragon.
I felt like a drink bottle that had been shaken up and was about to be opened right then. Yep, I was about to bust. I did too because without warning I got up and got right in Spicy’s face. I was so close to her that our noses touched as we both stared each other down.
“Oh, now you wonna talk huh Spicy? Ok well let’s talk. Don’t tell me not to take shit out on them when that’s all you have ever done to me. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but too bad I don’t even know all my branches. Tell me Spicy since you got so much fucking motherly advice. Tell me who my daddy is. Tell me why the fuck you hate me so much when I’ve done nothing but love and look up to you.” I said as angry tears ran down my cheeks and Spicy looked away.
I reached over and grabbed her face to turn her back to me and she hit my hand. That was enough to get KJ up on his feet as he walked over to referee.
“TELL ME SPICY SINCE YOU GOT SO MUCH WISDOM ALL OF A SUDDEN. TELL ME WHAT WAS THE TRAGEDY THAT TURNED YOU INTO THIS COLD HEARTED BITCH. TELL ME MAMA, TELL ME. I NEED TO KNOW.” I screamed in Spicy’s face as I saw tears begin to form in her eyes.
I thought for a second we were going to have a tender moment. I thought I had finally broke through her walls. I couldn’t have been more wrong though and I knew that when she suddenly smirked.
“Oh you wanna know, huh? You grown now huh so you want all the answers? I’ll tell you what was the biggest tragedy in my muthafucking life then. That tragedy was YOU Kaniyah. Having you was the only thing I regret!” Spicy said and I had enough.
I just couldn’t take it anymore, all of that shit had come to a head. Before she could say anything else or even react I pushed her ass as hard as I could over the table. I didn’t even wait for her body to fall before I ran from the room crying as my uncle Tootie walked in.
“Chocolate Chip, what’s wrong baby?” My uncle asked as he called me his special nickname and I ran past him.
I ran straight to my room and started packing my bags again determined to never come back. I packed my shit in less than five minutes and then stormed out of my room with Berry in her travel bag headed towards the door. I could hear my uncle Tootie and my mama arguing as I walked past the kitchen and told my brothers and Rah bye. All of them jumped up to hug me and say they loved me but they understood why I had to go.
Uncle Tootie tried to get me to stay as he held my mama to the wall by her neck and told me to come over there. I ignored his words and the look on my mama’s face as I walked out of the apartment and didn’t look back. That was it, I was done. Spicy had finally broken me. All I wanted to do was run away from my pain and right back into the arms of the one who loved me.
Chapter 10
Outside of the place I grew up, I threw my shit into my car with tears still streaming down my face and sat Berry in the passenger seat. I looked back at the house of hell one last time before I got into my car and pulled out of the apartments speeding as I burned rubber. I rode and cried as my life flashed before my eyes like one long ass sad reality show. By the time I made it to South Haven it was after two in the afternoon and all was quiet. I stopped at the end of Anthony’s block and cried my heart out as I looked up at the sky.
“When this shit gonna end? Damn, when will I be happy?” I asked God as I continued to stare up but even he didn’t have the answer.
I sat there in my car for hours just crying, playing with Berry, and remembering shit. At about five that evening I was still sitting there sulking when I spotted Anthony in my rearview mirror as he rode down the block towards me in his work truck. For a second I, don’t think he knew who I was but as soon as he passed my car he stopped. I watched as he backed up and stopped right next to me.
“Baby, what you doing? Why you sitting down here Kaniyah?” Anthony asked as I suddenly looked over at him with my tear stained face an
d my eyes said it all.
“I knew it. I knew you should have never went back. I knew that bitch was gonna do this to you. Come on baby, let’s go home. I love you Kaniyah.” Anthony said as I shook my head then followed him up the block.
I didn’t even dwell on the fact that Anthony had called my mother a bitch because in my eyes at that moment, she definitely was one. When I pulled in the garage beside Anthony he was right there to hold me like he always was. Anthony and I kissed and hugged for a few minutes then he helped me bring in my stuff without saying a word.
Once inside I took Berry out of her bag so that she could roam free before I fell down on to his bed. I laid there and let the rest of my tears pour out while my mind wondered all over. Anthony sat beside me and rubbed my back as he asked me what had happened. That time when he asked me, I told him the truth, the whole ugly ass tale. I left nothing out even the look in my mother’s eyes when she said I was her tragedy. That seemed to hit a tender spot with Anthony and I felt the bed shake as he cried with me. I quickly turned around and sat up as I asked him what was wrong.
“I just hate that you have never had a mother baby. I hate that you don’t know that love. I hate all the shit that has happened to you. I wish I could turn back the hands of time.” Anthony said as tears ran down his face and I kissed them all away.
As I kissed away his tears my own fell and he reached over to wipe them off. The feel of his fingers on my skin at that vulnerable moment sent chills through me I couldn’t explain. Before I knew it Anthony was on top of me and we were wrapped up in a passionate kiss. Anthony caressed my hair and looked deep into my eyes as he told he loved and wanted me.
“I want you too Anthony. I need you.” I panted as he took me right there.
I laid there frozen in ecstasy as Anthony kissed me again then started to take off my clothes. In no time both of us were naked and he was kissing down my body. Anthony’s tongue was so wet and warm that everywhere he touched seemed to tingle. I felt my pussy pulsate beneath him as he took one of my breasts into his mouth and sucked it gently.
“Ummm, you taste so good Kaniyah. I wonder does the pussy taste better.” Anthony said in a heavy tone as he kissed down my stomach.
I felt my heart race in my throat as he got to my honeypot and dipped his long, wet tongue inside. He sucked and licked my clit like a starving cat before he stuck his tongue in my wound and face fucked me. The feelings that surged through my body as Anthony ate me alive almost made me go crazy. I had to grab the pillow and put it in my mouth to bit on in order to mask my screams.
“Hell naw, let that shit out. Daddy wanna hear you moan.” Anthony said as he came up for air and snatched the pillow out of my hand.
I screamed out in pleasure after that because he went right back to assaulting my clit. A few seconds later I felt this intense tingle start to build up from my toes that blew my mind. That tingle caused my whole body to get hot and shiver like I was naked at the North Pole. Anthony didn’t let up on my clit either which made my shakes grow even more violent. I caught that orgasm I was chasing right then and it hit me in intense violent waves as I held the back of Anthony’s head and dug his tongue deeper inside of me. He still didn’t let up, he just continued to slurp until he had sucked me dry. Even then he kept his tongue flicking and caused my clit to swell up again. I was hot and ready all over again in seconds as I sat up a little and looked down at him. Anthony looked up at me and smiled as I motioned for him to come up and get inside of me.
Before I could even lay back down he was between my legs and sticking his massive dick inside. I cried out in pain for a second as he slipped in because his dick was so huge. However, Anthony was very experienced in the fuck game and he showed me that as he rolled his hips, kissed my neck, and got me wetter than water. Soon we were both panting and covered in sweat as Anthony flipped me over to get on top. I rode him like a cowgirl on X as I gripped my pussy muscles around his dick. My pussy must have felt like heaven to him as he got deeper in my wetness because I could have sworn I saw his eyes roll into the back of his head for a second. Just the thought of making an old, sexy muthafucka like Anthony cringe gave me some bravado so I kicked my ride game up a notch. I flipped around and rode his dick backwards for a few minutes as he slapped my ass and moaned. Soon I felt him begin to pump harder from the bottom and I knew his nut was near. The dick was so good though, I didn’t want it to end so I got up off the dick and flipped back around. As soon as I was back facing Anthony I began to ride his ass deeper into the bed.
“Dammmnnnn Na Na.” Anthony yelled as I twerked my pussy and I looked at him like he was crazy.
I wanted to ask how he knew my nickname but the dick was too good for me to really care. Instead I just enjoyed the moment as Anthony smacked my ass and I rode him even harder. I could feel Anthony grip my hips to slow me down then because his nut was about to come again. He wasn’t trying to let me play him like that though so he quickly flipped me over and drilled me into the mattress. Anthony dug so deep inside of me that he tickled my g-spot with every stroke. I felt the sensation of an orgasm three more times as I screamed out and Anthony said daddy did that.
Soon his nut began to build up and I finally saw that aggression I knew he had in him, but didn’t want to believe. Suddenly he put his massive hand around my neck and braced himself as he dug deeper into my wound. At first I was kind of turned on especially when he left one hand on my neck and put the other in my hair to pull it as he fucked me. I liked a little roughness so I got wetter when he did that and told him to go deeper. My horniness started to fade though as his grip on my neck continued to get tighter with every pump.
“Anthony, let my neck go.” I was finally able to whisper through my gasps for air, but I doubted he even heard me.
By then he was in full nut mode and had his eyes closed as he went in. He continued to fuck me while he swirled his hips and choked the spit out of my mouth. I tapped his arm and whispered for him to stop but he still wouldn’t let go. Instead he took his left hand out of my hair and wrapped it back around my neck with the right hand to choke me even more. I felt fear creep up into my heart as I watched him open his eyes and look down at me while he held his body weight up by choking me. It felt like my neck would pop open as he continued to strangle me and I flapped my arms like a fish while I tried to yell no. Anthony didn’t care about none of that though as he leaned down to kiss me while he continued his vaginal assault.
“You don’t want me to stop, you just saying that. Besides you belong to me. This my pussy and you mine, so I’ll do whatever I want to it and you. You ain’t never got a nut like the one you get before you die or think you’re about to die. Let me show you how daddy do it. Just lay back and enjoy. Quit fighting it Na Na and opened up that pussy for daddy.” Anthony whispered in my ear as he let up on his grip a little but continued to batter my pussy.
I was able to scream a little once he released some of the pressure on my neck and I told him No and to stop. Anthony laughed when I said that then took one hand off my neck to cover my mouth with. I felt like a bitch on a Lifetime Movie then as I laid there and grunted while Anthony fucked me with one hand over my mouth and the other still on my neck. He kissed my neck and down to my breasts as he continued to choke me and long stroke. Soon I felt his dick swell inside of me and I knew he was about to come.
Anthony put my left breast in his mouth at that moment and sucked it so gently and lovingly I forgot his hand was around my neck. All I could feel was wetness and euphoria and he evoked another orgasm in me. I felt confused as fuck but satisfied at the same time as I fucked Anthony from the bottom and he kept doing this thang. I didn’t know whether to be upset because the nigga was raping me or be happy because he was giving me the best nuts of my life. I didn’t even have time to really think about it though because the next thing I knew my body began to shake.
I nutted again as Anthony increased the pressure on my neck and chased a nut of his own. I looked up out of breath as Antho
ny beat my pussy wet again and acted like he was going to climb inside me. I felt another orgasm on the brink as my vision began to get blurry and all of the air left my body. I grabbed both of Anthony’s hands at that moment and tried to pry his fingers loose so that I could breathe. There was no use in trying though because he was strong as hell and determined to finish what he started. Anthony did that too because suddenly he began to shake as my body shook in unison. I felt a pure, magnetic sensation surge all through me as Anthony and I came at the same time. He continued to choke me though as he pumped until all his nut was inside of me. I wanted to yell no and tell him to pull out but before I could say anything my vision turned black. I passed out as soon as he had taken his last pump and bent down to whisper in my ear.
“You’re all mine Kaniyah, all mine. Nothing can ever take you from me. I won’t make the mistake of leaving you and letting someone take you away. I refuse to lose you like I lost her. You are mine in more ways than one Na Na and soon you’ll know what I’m talking about. For now though, sleep my baby. Daddy got you!” Anthony said as I drifted off but I could still feel him as he kissed my forehead.
I woke up feeling like Anthony’s hands were still around my neck as I frantically searched through the darkness with my eyes trying to spot him. I could barely make out anything in the room because it was dark inside of the house just like it was outside. I looked to the left side of me and saw that Anthony wasn’t in bed so I sat up because there was pressure on my legs. As my heart raced I looked down to see Berry curled up across my calves and dozens or more bags and packages all around me. I wondered if the whole beautiful and loving turned sadistic and violent sex scene was just in my head as I glanced at the clock on Anthony’s nightstand and saw that it was 3:48 Christmas morning.
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