“Well,” I echo him again. We both laugh.
“Tell me something about yourself, Ashley.” His brown eyes are watching me cautiously. Like he wants to say something but won’t.
“Hmm,” I answer, thinking about what to say. I have secrets. Deep dark secrets. I need to be careful what I reveal.
“I’m a Junior at Hollywood High, love to sketch and pretty much stay to myself. What about you, Shaun?”
“I graduated last year from Los Angeles High, work as a mechanic full time now and love to race.” I perk up at the racing part. I loved to go with my parents before the accident. We would go every weekend and watch a race, or I'd watch my dad out there, tearing it up. I remember the smell of burnt rubber and exhaust filling my nose. The adrenaline of watching the cars take off on the go, from zero to a buck twenty in a quarter mile. I always thought I would be racing when I got older, not trying to fight my way to survive each day.
“Ashley,” Shaun says, breaking me out of my memories. His eyebrow raises when he finally gets my attention.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I was wondering if you wanted to go to a race with me sometime.”
“What kind of race?” I ask.
Shaun leans closer to me so our voices can’t be heard from listening ears. I lean towards him and he looks around the restaurant. No one's paying attention to us.
“A street race,” he whispers.
“I’ve never been to one,” I lie, whispering back.
The waitress brings our food and we both lean back from the table and thank her. I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and fries. After dousing my fries with ranch dressing and ketchup on my burger, I dig in. The flavors explode on my taste buds. This is one of the best burgers I’ve ate in a long time. Shaun was right, this restaurant’s food is wonderful. Shaun is eating his burger too. We’re in a comfortable silence while we eat. He keeps watching me, waiting for an answer.
Do I want to get back into the racing scene?
Do I want to expose myself to the racing world?
I’ve been hiding for so long, I don’t know if I can do it. What if I run into someone I know or someone who knows my family?
Like I said, I have deep dark secrets that no one knows about. I’ll be taking a risk, but it might be fun to get back into that scene.
“Sure. When and where?” I ask.
“I’ll text you the information. I can pick you up, but you might have to sneak out. It’s usually pretty late at night.” Shaun says, a spark of excitement is in his brown eyes.
“I can do that. How late?” I ask, playing dumb. I know all about this, but he doesn’t know that, and I’m not going to tell him. It can be dangerous for him.
He leans closer to me again and lowers his voice to a whisper, “They usually start around one a.m. Different areas for each race. I get a message where to meet and I can message you when I know.”
“Sounds good to me. I would love to see it. See what you do,” I whisper back.
How odd would it be if he was involved with my racing world? There are hundreds of people who do illegal street racing, acting like they’re big shots, when in all actuality, they’re wanna-be street racers who are a danger to the rest of us. I mean them. They’re a danger to them. The ones who know how to race.
We finish our food and Shaun leaves to pay the bill. It might be a few weeks before I see him again and I’m really enjoying myself right now. It’s been so long since I felt some sort of normalcy, I don’t want it to end, but I have to get home before Mike and Sharon know I skipped out on the last few classes.
Shaun comes back to the table and I stand up to follow him out. I sling my backpack up over my shoulder and turn to him right outside the doors.
“Thank you for lunch.” I tell him.
“Listen I was thinking,” Shaun trails off not quite sure what he wants to say.
I shuffle from foot to foot, watching him. My brown eyes are appraising him, watching him squirm. He clears his throat and tries again. “I was thinking I had fun and want to see you again. Can we meet up again? It might not be so awkward next time. Maybe for a movie or something?” He quickly rushes his words together and runs a hand through his shaggy blonde hair.
“Or something, Shaun.” His face lights up in a smile and a slight dimple appears on his left cheek. “Here I’ll give you my number and you text me when you’re available.” I say pulling out my phone.
This could be what I need. The screams following me are tucked in the back of my mind, quite right now. Someone to take my mind off things, who doesn’t know about my past and can actually look at me without pity or judgement. We exchange numbers and I leave him standing in front of the restaurant, not knowing this moment will bring me back into the world I gave up a couple of years ago. I know I was only fourteen but in the racing world, age doesn’t matter when your father is who he is.
Chapter 2
Ashley-present
I'm startled awake with cold sweat dripping down my forehead. My heart is beating erratically, and I can't catch my breath. The moon is shining brightly in my loft's bedroom window. The sun went down hours ago and it’s almost time to get going. The noisy streets of Los Angeles coming through the warehouse walls below, comfort me from my nightmare. I get up and take a shower, hoping to rid myself of my past.
Why does my mind want to go back there?
Why do I need to remember?
I dry myself off and put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a tight fitting black tank top under a plaid black and white button down light flannel. I leave the buttons of my flannel undone and put my blonde hair up in a tight ponytail. I apply mascara and lip gloss and look at myself in the mirror. The purplish bruising is almost gone on the side of my face from when I was kidnapped when my roommate Izzy's life was in danger.
Some psychos tried to kill her and took Mia and myself as hostages, trying to draw her out. Her fiancé, Xavier, saved her, and we later found out that the guy who hit me was stalking Izzy out here in L.A., where we went to college together. It’s a good thing he didn’t get caught out here or the death he would've had would have been worse than what Nolan gave him.
Nolan.
That man hasn’t left my head since I met him. His shaggy brown hair, toned, tight muscled body, broad shoulders, and brown eyes, leave me breathless. He radiates power and authority. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that one incredible night we had together right before I left to come back to L.A. a couple of weeks ago.
His lips worshiping my body, made me feel things I haven’t felt in a very long time. He made me want to confess all my sins and secrets.
We video chat and text a lot. With the time differences, he doesn’t know what I’m up to, what I’m involved in. The more I talk to him, the more I get to know him, the more it freaks me out. I can’t afford to let my guard down, it would be dangerous for both of us. If the enemies I’m involved with knew about my weakness, they would do what they could to bring me down.
My phone chirps on the counter next to me, signaling that I have a text. I swipe the screen and open my messages. Hoping it’s from Nolan, disappointment fills me when I see it’s from Noah Del Marco. Noah is like my kid brother. We met on the racing circuit back a few years ago and I took him under my wing. He reminds me a lot of my little brother, Austin, who died the night my parents did.
Noah sets up all our meets through social media. He updates many ghost accounts and gives various locations through them to throw the cops off our trail. The ones who are involved with the racing circuit knows which the correct places are to go to with a different code word each week. So that way if any cops try to nose their way in, they will be thrown off the trail and would be chasing a wrong lead. Some of the leads are dead ends, the way we set them up, but others send them to arrest the ones who are dangerous to the rest of us. The ones who put themselves in danger and have no code they live by. They’re just in it to make a quick buck and don’t have a care in the
world who they hurt or how.
My phone chimes again and I read the message.
Noah: 1223 Industrial Drive
1 a.m.
Word has it new racers are joining. Watch your back.
Noah is always letting me know when we have new recruits. I smile to myself as I open my bathroom door. One of my homes is a warehouse in the heart of L.A.
I turned the top floor into a loft apartment. There's an open kitchen and living room, and one bedroom with an attached bathroom. The ground floor is my garage where I keep my cars and my crew and I meet here for business. I use this location when I want to stay in the city. It’s a seedy neighborhood, but it suits me just fine. I can come and go as I please and no one pays attention.
I put on a pair of black racing boots and lace them up. My phone chimes again and I swipe open my text messages, my heart's in my throat when I see who it's from.
Nolan: I can’t stop thinking about you.
When can I see you again?
xx-N
I hit reply and type out a response.
Me: I can’t stop thinking about you either. There is no way I can make it back anytime soon. I have a lot of business to take care of. I’ll let you know when you can come out here.
I want to show you my world
xo-A
I really do want to show him my world, but I need to make sure it’s safe. There’s a lot of shit going down right now and the last thing I want to do is drag Nolan into it. I’m already neck deep in a lot of illegal shit and I’m trying to move us out of it but keep the racing circuit open. I’ve inherited my dad’s spot the night my ex, Shaun, brought me back to the racing world. He had no idea who I was and when word got around, he didn’t take it very well.
Chapter 3
Ashley-17 years old
Shaun and I have been officially dating for a year now. I’ve gone to many races with him, trying to keep a low profile, but word travels fast. I’m not quite sure where his head is anymore. He’s acting possessive and angry towards me. I haven’t told him anything about who my family is, but rumors are flying and I’m sure he’s heard them. I wanted to tell him when we went to our first race and some of the racers recognized me, but a feeling in the pit of my stomach had me keeping my mouth shut.
I’m almost finished with my senior year at Hollywood High. A time that’s supposed to be fun and memorable, but mine is miserable. I can’t do anything with anyone in my class because Shaun won’t allow it.
He’s at my school every day. He picks me up and drops me off. I’m sure if it was allowed, he’d be sitting in every class and it’s really annoying me. Yes, I like having him around, but he’s getting increasingly possessive and it’s really starting to piss me off. He’s been trying to dictate who I hang out with and who I talk too. If I talk to or even look at a guy, he goes ape shit on me.
It’s late at night and I can’t sleep. I keep pacing back and forth in front of my bed, trying to be quiet because Mike and Sharon are downstairs asleep and have no idea what I’ve been up to lately. I’ve been trying to find a way to break it off with Shaun when my phone chirps with a text.
Rush: Hey Chica, race tomorrow night.
C-ya there and will you finally ditch the douche.
Rush, whose real name is Dakota Fleming, has been a part of the racing world right along with me until that tragic day. We grew up together on the scene, he’s two years older than me and now he's head of the South Side. His parents were best friends with mine. He found me one night about two months after I started going to the races with Shaun.
Chapter 4
Ashley-8 Months earlier
It around one a.m. and we’re all parked in a deserted warehouse parking lot. Sex and racing fuel penetrates the warm night air. Cars are lined up side by side down the length of the parking lot. Music is blaring from a few sound systems around us. Girls are dressed in skin-tight dresses, swaying their hips seductively to the beat of the music. The guys are watching them, seeing who takes which girl home at the end of the night. There's a thick tension of excitement for the upcoming race, strumming from everyone. I love this part of the circuit.
Shaun is getting ready for the race and I’m trying to hide in the shadows when I spot Rush’s car pull into the center of the crowd. I observe his towering six-foot-three frame unfold from his sleek grey Nissan GT-R. His muscles are more defined than what I remembered when we were kids. Rush’s messy black hair has blonde highlights in it and he has tattoos wrapped around his dark biceps, trailing down to his forearms. He possesses an air of authority surrounding him. Girls clad in tight dresses, looking like hookers flock to him with lust in their eyes, hoping he’ll take one of them home at the end of the night. His black eyes scan the crowd and they lock onto mine. I tried to turn away, but it's too late. His eyes light up and a smile graces his full lips as he approaches me, leaving the girls trying to get his attention behind him. I received a few glares from those girls, but I ignore them.
“Ashley.” Rush’s deep, familiar voice, invades my ears.
“Rush,” I acknowledge with a nod.
I’m desperately trying to avoid eye contact with him when Shaun approaches us. He settles his arm on my shoulders, trying to be possessive. The move really pisses me off. Rush’s eyebrows hit his hairline while he watches us. I struggle to act unaffected by Shaun’s actions but fail miserably.
“I haven’t seen you in a long time. Word has it that you’re back, but I had to see it to believe it.” Rush says.
“I’m not back. I’m here supporting my boyfriend. Shaun this is Rush. Rush this is Shaun.” I introduce the two hoping Shaun forgets the comment about being back.
Shaun extends his hand towards Rush with a look of admiration in his eyes. I try to stop my eye roll but can’t.
“Wow, never thought I’d get to meet you,” Shaun says, excitement in his voice. He shifts his attention to me and gives me a glare. “Babe, how do you know him?”
I caught the underlying accusation in Shaun’s voice. He doesn’t want to piss Rush off, but he also thinks there's something going on. This is what I’m talking about, Shaun’s possessive, asshole tactics are really annoying me.
“Rush and I know each other from school,” I explain, casually shrugging my shoulders.
I act like it doesn’t matter and pray it works. I give Rush a pleading look, begging him with my eyes he doesn’t say anything. His black eyes lock on mine and he gives me a slight nod.
“Oh, I didn’t know you went to Hollywood High,” Shaun tells Rush skeptically pulling me tighter against him. My body goes stiff under his arms but he’s too busy acting all macho to notice.
“No from before Ashley moved to Hollywood High. We went to Granada Hills together before she left.” Rush says. I draw a deep breath relieved he's playing along.
“Well don’t you guys have a race to get too?” I ask trying to break the tension between the three of us.
Rush understands my meaning and turns away from us. He commands the crowd forming around us and starts the intro to the race. I give Shaun a brief kiss, unwrap myself from his arms and hide back into the shadows until it’s all over.
After the race, the tension is tight between us as I get into Shaun’s car. He's pissed he lost to Rush and I know he's blaming it on me. Shaun climbs into the driver’s seat and speeds off, grinding gears as he shifts. We ride in silence for a few minutes before he slams his fists against the steering wheel and whips the car off to the side of the road. I regard him carefully as he stalks out of the car pacing back and forth in front of the headlights. I quietly follow and approach him.
“Babe, what’s going on?” I ask.
He stops pacing and there's a hint of violence in his brown eyes as they lock onto mine. I’m not afraid of him and I stand my ground, my arms crossed over my chest waiting for an answer.
“How do you know him?” Shaun asks. Rage dripping from his voice.
I stand tall and lift my chin, challenging him. “We went
to school together years ago. I've told you that, so did he. So, tell me what the issue is.”
“The issue, Ashley,” Shaun says running his hands through his shaggy brown hair. “Is that you’re hiding something. Rush isn’t someone you know from school. There's more there, I can tell. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend but sometimes you don’t act like it. I thought bringing you into my world would make us closer but you’re pulling away and I don’t like it. You’re mine, no one else’s.”
I scoff at his insistence I'm his. I belong to no one and never will. I’m trying to figure out what to say to pacify him, trying to find something to throw him off his game. He has no clue who I actually am and after tonight, there's no way I’m telling him.
“Shaun, just because someone recognizes me from school, doesn’t mean anything. God, I’m not hiding anything. If you feel like I don’t act like your girlfriend, then why don’t you find someone else who'll hang all over you and soak in everything you say. I’m not that way. I’m not a possession, I’m a human being. I’m a person who has been through so much in the last few years, you'll never understand." Fury is vibrating through my body and isn’t helping this situation.
“You want me to find someone else?” he asks. He stops pacing back and forth, studying me. That’s the last thing I thought he’d say. Nothing else computed in his head but that can work to my advantage. I can make it sound like I won’t be possessed instead of the truth. I can’t let him find out the truth.
“Shaun, you’re not listening. Now you’re hung up on that? Didn’t you hear anything else I said?” My hands are shaking, the warm night air does nothing to ease the rage and anger flowing through my veins.
“Yeah, I heard it. If that’s how you want to end things, then we can end it here and now. I’ll drive away, and you’ll never see me again."
The threat is hanging in the open. I should grab it and let him walk away but there's an expression of hurt in his eyes. I can’t do it, not yet. I care for him, just not the way he wants. Letting out a deep breath I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.
Racing Dirty, L.A. Page 2
