He went to the hall closet and found a duffel bag to pack. Stupid or not, he couldn’t tell her no.
Chapter 3
Diana
“Are you crazy?”
“Crazy like a fox,” Diana replied as she leaned back in her office chair. Fae had come to her office today, and they killed time together while eating lunch. One of the benefits of being besties with someone you only saw at work was that you could tell them anything—because your worlds never collided.
“No, no, no.” Fae slashed her spoon through the air with each word. “You’re telling me you asked your grizzly bear neighbor to go home with you for Christmas. Weren’t you worried he was an axe murderer at one point?” She scooped a spoonful of vanilla Greek yogurt into her mouth.
Diana chewed on her sandwich as she thought. “Maybe when I first moved in. But he’s harmless. He just looks scary because of all the facial hair and his intense gray eyes and the tattoo on his forearm … The more I think about it, the more perfect Cliff fits into the mold of exactly what my parents don’t want me to bring home. If only he drove a motorcycle and had a leather jacket.”
“Girl! You have got to think this through. You can’t go into the woods with a man you used to think made people disappear for a living.”
She laughed. “I forgot I told you that.” She took another bite of her sandwich. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m telling you, he’s a giant teddy bear.”
“And as fuzzy as one too.”
“All part of his charm.” She winked. Her desk phone rang, and she wiped the mustard off her lips before answering. “Hello?”
“Honey?”
She rolled her eyes. Mom always sounded surprised that she answered her phone. “It’s me, Mom.”
Fae gave her a warning look that said, You’d better think about this.
“Good. I’m calling to get a final head count for Christmas dinner.”
Diana sat up straighter. This was her opportunity to lay the groundwork for a stress-free holiday. Telling Mom she was unavailable for setups now would save so much trouble. “Actually, I’m bringing someone.”
“Is it your friend from work?”
She gritted her teeth. “No. It’s a man I’ve been … seeing.” She cringed over the lie.
Fae smacked her arm and waved her spoon at her in warning.
“You haven’t mentioned anyone.”
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.” Truth, she mouthed to Fae.
“But you’re bringing him home to meet the family.” Was that pride in her voice?
Diana cringed. She hadn’t heard that tone in a long time. It felt good. Too good. “Yeah. Sort of.”
“Things must be more serious than you’re letting on.”
She was serious about not hearing that she’d focused too much on her career and lost sight of the important things in life. “Maybe.”
Fae shook her finger at her and mouthed, Liar, liar.
She sank lower in her chair to get out of Fae’s reach. I know, she mouthed back, waving her free hand around like a maniac.
“Don’t worry, honey, we’ll welcome him right into the family.”
Diana hopped to her feet, antsy. Cliff was incredibly shy—her family would eat him alive with their welcome. “Bad idea, Mom.”
“What? Why?”
“We’re, uh, keeping things on the down low for a while. I don’t even have a ring yet.” Mom loved nothing more than a juicy secret. She’d positively preen at being in the know.
Fae followed Diana around the table, smacking her arm and telling her to stop. She may have also said something about Santa’s Bad List, but Diana was more worried about her mom’s sudden shift to marriage talk. Diana flapped her hand back at Fae in response. They looked like two preteens breaking their “best friends forever” bracelets in a snit.
“My lips are sealed,” Mom said. Diana could picture her sliding her fingers across them and throwing away the key. Her eyes would dance with delight. Here was her youngest child, the only one unable to procure a mate and pop out grandchildren, finally getting her act together. She couldn’t mess with that kind of result. It felt good to be on top of things—well, to be seen as on top of things—for once.
“Thanks. I knew I could count on you. Don’t say anything to Cliff, either. He’s kind of a flight risk.”
Fae changed tactics and grabbed the phone cord, pulling it towards her. Her eyes were big with I’m telling! Diana panicked that she’d grab the receiver and rat her out.
“I’m Fort Knox,” Mom confirmed.
“You’re the best, Mom. Bye.” She slammed the phone down just before Fae reached the end.
“You’re going to …” Fae sputtered.
Diana pressed her palms against her cheeks. “I know!” She gasped a breath, shocked that she’d gone through with calling Cliff her boyfriend. Wait—she didn’t actually say that word. She pulled her hands slowly down her face. “But what was I supposed to do?” Mom sounded happy and excited.
“Tell the truth!”
“I couldn’t.” She landed in her chair, suddenly exhausted. “You should have heard the excitement in her voice. She wasn’t this proud of me when I graduated college.” She huffed. “It’s just a couple days. Then, I’ll tell them we broke up and I’m brokenhearted. That should buy me another year without being nagged about finding myself a man. What do I need a man for, anyway? I can take care of myself.”
Fae sat on the arm of the chair and dropped her arm around Diana’s shoulders. “I know you can. They want you to find love, not a sugar daddy.”
“If I haven’t found it by now, I don’t know that I ever will.”
“You’re twenty-eight,” Fae said, sarcasm dripping like gravy over mashed potatoes. “You’re not dead.”
“In my family, single at twenty-eight is an unpardonable crime. Ask my cousin Celine. She gets razzed just as bad as I do.”
Fae stood up and tugged her pencil skirt back in place. “All I know is, nothing good ever came from telling a lie to your mama.” Fae gave her a pointed look before picking up her lunch sack and heading for the door.
Diana didn’t have a reply. She stewed over the conversation for another ten minutes before deciding that calling Mom back and explaining the mix-up would take away all the acceptance, all the pride, and the joy that had so easily flowed through the phone line.
Diana would just have to get through the holiday and then say she and Cliff had decided to go their separate ways. That wouldn’t be a lie. He’d go to his condo, and she’d go to hers. No one would be the wiser, Mom would be more peaceful, and she’d be able to spend a Christmas without watching her back.
There was one lingering problem. Cliff. A man like him wasn’t built for a family like hers. She let out a sigh. Instead him of watching her back, she’d be watching his. Hopefully, they’d be on speaking terms when this was all over. They didn’t spend a lot of time together, but she always felt warmer, lighter, and brighter after being with him, and she didn’t want to lose that.
She eyed the phone and then ripped her eyes away from it. She wouldn’t lose Cliff because she fed him a grand holiday feast.
Everything was going to be just fine.
Chapter 4
Cliff
Cliff stormed from his closet to the bed. “What am I supposed to wear to a family Christmas party in a cabin?” he asked his older brother on video chat. His phone was propped up on the desk so Asher had a clear view of the room.
“Flannel?” Asher offered.
Cliff grunted and yanked out a drawer, knocking the phone down. He righted it quickly. Time with Asher—even phone time—was precious.
“This is good for you,” said Asher. “You’ve been cooped up in that condo long enough. If I didn’t have a double shift on Christmas Eve, we’d find ski slopes to tackle and ski bunnies to flirt with. But I like this idea better.”
“I don’t. Diana totally hoodwinked me, playing on my protective instincts the way she
did.” Cliff pointed at the camera. “That woman knew exactly what she was doing. I can’t go.” He threw two flannel shirts into the duffel bag on his bed and grabbed a pair of folded jeans.
“You don’t mean that,” said Asher.
He shoved the jeans into the corner of the bag. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then why are you still packing?”
Cliff deflated to the corner of the bed. The comforter was a dark gray color, the pillowcases black. The carpet was storm-cloud gray. The muted shades had seemed like a good idea when he’d consulted with the realtor, but now the room hung on him like a noose. “She’s the only person who brings color into a room. She wears this red coat and has a pink hoodie that drowns her, but she loves it. I see her in it all the time. And her eyes are brown, but they have this gold quality.”
“Gold?”
“I swear. She’s all innocence and cupcakes. Literally cupcakes. She makes them all the time and brings them over—like guys want to eat mermaid cupcakes.” He chuckled, thinking of her last batch. Pumpkin with yellow frosting and brown sprinkles.
“Are they any good?”
“Delicious.”
His brother didn’t laugh, and Cliff didn’t look up from the dreary carpet. This was the part of the conversation where Asher changed from a teasing, annoying younger brother into the sage. He might not have been through the heartbreak that Cliff had, but as an ER doc, he’d lived three lifetimes of trauma.
“You don’t have to go if you’re not ready.”
Cliff glared at the wall. He was suddenly so tired of living in a colorless world. Just once, just for a little while, he wanted to experience the vibrancy of life. Locking himself away had helped to heal the wounds that dreadful day left behind, but it was also turning him into someone he didn’t recognize. “I think I have to go. I need to find my way out of this mental maze.”
“Do it. And don’t forget to call me on Christmas.”
“I won’t.” He zipped up his bag and said goodbye. One last look around the room told him everything was in place. He set his bag by the front door and stared at it, willing Diana to get here soon so he could stop worrying about her getting there.
Restless and unable to hold still, he went out on the porch to wait in the cold, where maybe his fingers and ears would go numb, guaranteeing that part of him wouldn’t feel. That was what worried him the most about spending time with Diana—she made him feel.
Feeling was dangerous.
Chapter 5
Diana
It took thirty minutes to get out of city traffic and another fifteen to get on the winding mountain road that lead to Diana’s parents’ cabin. Snowdrifts lined the way, and the trees were heavy with the latest storm’s bounty. Sunlight glared off the snow, blindingly. She squinted and put down her visor.
Cliff handed her his aviator sunglasses.
She sighed with relief. “Perfect. Thanks. You’re pretty easy to travel with, you know that?” He’d carried her suitcase to the car and checked her oil before letting her start up the engine.
“You too.” He took a bite of the chocolate chip cookies she’d packed for the ride. It was her grandmother’s not-so-secret recipe. From the way they were disappearing, Cliff was a fan. She glowed with the knowledge.
They hadn’t spoken much while in traffic. She got the feeling Cliff was either having second thoughts about tagging along, or he wasn’t comfortable with her driving skills. She was a country girl and used to having wide, open lanes. Maybe some conversation would relax his hands, which were in tight fists over his knees.
“I think this is the first time we’ve ever hung out,” she offered by way of a conversation starter.
“Second.” He continued to stare ahead, indicating that she should keep her eyes on the road.
She turned back and tapped her brakes to avoid hitting the car in front of her, which took a quick right turn without signaling. “That’s not true.”
“It is. The week after you moved in, I fixed your living room lamp and you made me dinner.”
She’d forgotten about that disaster that ended with her smoke alarms going off and the two of them opening doors and windows to let out the smell. She frowned. “Burnt alfredo does not count as dinner. You’re giving me way too much credit for that one.”
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips and then disappeared just as quickly. She took in his beard, which touched his chest in an uneven line of scragginess, and wondered what he looked like under all that hair. There was no way she was going to ask. The beard was a third of the reason he would drive her parents nuts. Wait until she told them he was an electrician. Gasp. A laborer. She grinned to herself. A quick glance out of the corner of her eye showed his fists still balled. Shoot. Cliff was so nervous—and so nice. He deserved a warning about what he was getting himself into.
“Sooooo … My family …” She’d never known anyone who was as cripplingly shy as Cliff. She should have read a few articles on how to help him maneuver the chaos that was her family.
“Yeah?” His eyebrows went up and his voice cracked.
She sank in her seat. “I think I should give you the rundown. They can be sort of overwhelming if you’re not used to them.”
He went still. Like a cornered animal in the wilderness still. “Okay.”
Her second thoughts turned to 200th thoughts. “You know what? I didn’t really think this through all the way. You may not be comfortable in a house full of strangers. I’m going to turn around and take you home.” She leaned forward in her seat, looking for a turnoff or a section of road wide enough to facilitate a 5-point turn.
Cliff’s hand landed on her arm, and her whole body sprang to life with tingles. She glanced down at where they made contact and then back up at him—then jerked her attention to the road.
“I’m fine,” he said in a low voice. One that was strong and commanding and kind of delicious.
It took her a moment to remember to breathe. “A-are you sure?”
He turned in his seat, giving her his full and undivided attention. His hand was still on her arm, and she was aware of how big and strong it was; it warmed her to her very core. “I want to hear about them.” He glanced down as if realizing that he was still touching her and yanked his hand away.
She took a steadying breath and swallowed loudly. She must have been the only one who’d felt the earth move when they touched.
She paused before mentioning the engagement miscommunication. He’d made sure that they were only going up as friends, and if she told him her mom thought they were engaged, he might throw himself from the vehicle and run all the way back to town. But she suddenly didn’t want him to. She liked having him here, and she liked the interest in his gray eyes. He didn’t need to know about the engagement. Her mom was Fort Knox on this. “Okay. Just remember, you asked for it.”
His beard twitched with an almost smile again.
She gave him a wicked grin. “My Uncle Al ran for mayor—twice. He lost both times. Don’t talk politics, or losing, or kangaroos.”
“Kangaroos?”
“It was a publicity stunt gone terribly wrong. Google it. But only if you’re locked away in the bathroom with your earbuds in and a towel stuffed under the door. Are you ready to turn back yet?”
They turned off the main road and onto the private drive. It wasn’t as well kept as the city roads, and she had to shift into 4-wheel drive.
He shrugged. “Everyone has a weird uncle.”
“Oh, he’s not the weird one.” She warmed to the subject. Cliff focused more on her than on the road, and she thrilled under his attention. “The weird one is Uncle Tom. He likes puppets—or I should say Muppets.”
“Oh? That’s his job?”
“He wishes.” She giggled. “I mean. I guess it’s cool to talk to a puppet when you’re 6, but he still brings it to the dinner table and pretends to feed it.”
“It?” Cliff asked for clarity. He tugged on his shirt.
She nodded. “
Er, him? I guess. He has a Christmas elf. Think ‘demented Elf on the Shelf comes to life.’”
Cliff scoffed, which sounded oddly like a half-laugh. The sound was so new, Diana didn’t know if she’d heard it before. She raced through her memory, searching for a time she’d heard Cliff laugh, and came up empty-handed. That just wouldn’t do—especially if they were going to spend the next three days together.
“You’re making that up,” he accused lightly.
“Oh that I were.” She wiggled around in her seat, excited about the way he was opening up. This had to be their longest conversation to date. “My aunt Sue will ask you to try her fudge. Don’t. She’s been working on a sugar-free, chocolate-free, milk-free recipe for years. Last year it tasted like a knit hat dropped in the lake, wrung out, and dried over a moldy heater.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” His hands relaxed and settled on his knees. The action made her feel all warm inside.
“Don’t give my cousin Joey any money.”
“How long has he been out of rehab?”
“Rehab? Never. He’s not into drugs.” She flicked her hand dismissively.
“Oh. I assumed—”
“I can understand the confusion. He’s a member of BCA—Baseball Cards Anonymous. It’s for people who are addicted to buying baseball card packs. He believes the next pack he buys is going to have a 1921 Babe Ruth or a Lou Gehrig.”
He leaned closer. “But what if it did?”
Thrills raced through her body. She giggled. “Don’t encourage him!”
“I can’t make any promises.”
She laughed. Holy fruitcake, Batman. Cliff was funny. That was … unexpected. “Okay, you’ve been warned.”
“That’s all you’ve got?”
“No, but you refuse to take our crazy seriously, so there’s not much more I can do here.”
Her Totally Hot Forbidden Fake Fiance Page 2
