“Bless you,” she whispered.
Cliff and his brother left quietly. No one in the family saw them go. But Diana watched until the door shut behind them. When the lock clicked shut, she turned to face her family and clean up the mess she’d made.
Sadie made her way around the group and put her arm around her just as the tears started to fall. “Are you okay?”
“No. There’s no coming back from this.” She rubbed at the hot trails down her cheeks. “I’ve done the unthinkable to him.”
Sadie rubbed her back. “You can bake him some goodies when you get home.”
“Cupcakes can’t fix everything.” She sniffed. Cliff was going to drive away, and she couldn’t face him again. “I’ve behaved horribly. What man would want a woman who would lie to her family? I don’t think he’ll ever trust me again. Not once he really thinks things over.”
She leaned heavily into her older sister, wishing there was a way she could go back in time and erase all her mistakes.
“Are you sure about this?” Asher asked.
Cliff threw his duffel bag in the back seat. He’d packed quickly, never really unpacking all the way. “She doesn’t need me anymore.” He fell into the passenger seat and leaned heavily on the door. As soon as the truth came out, Diana had cast him off—telling him to leave. He’d thought there was more to their relationship than the farce. She’d kissed him when no one was looking. She looked at him with what he thought was love in her eyes. She’d even bought him a flannel shirt and said such wonderful things. But it was all an effort to keep up pretenses. “If she wanted me, she would have said so.”
Asher started the car and headed down the long drive. “Let’s go to my place.”
Cliff nodded. What else was there to say? He’d had given his heart to the wrong woman—again. It was a mistake he didn’t intend to repeat.
Chapter 23
Diana
As penance for her crimes, Diana volunteered to strip all the beds and tidy the rooms. Most people wanted to get an early start and were grateful for her offer. She did her best to avoid the actual goodbyes, because she heard the same thing over and over: “I never would have guessed you two weren’t really in love.”
She didn’t have an answer for that one, because she was in love. She was so in love it hurt to be without Cliff. Her eyes were puffy and her nose raw from using tissues. And those pains weren’t even the worst of it. The worst was the gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. Apparently, Cliff had taken it with him when he drove away.
Sadie came in while she was changing the laundry. Mom had two washers and two dryers in the giant laundry room. There were piles of sheets all over, and Diana was doing her best to cycle things through. She took the sheets right out of the dryer and to the room where she put them on the bed again. Mom liked to have the house ready for renters at any point, and there was a group coming in for New Year’s.
“I thought you and Packer were leaving with the first wave.” Diana shook out a sheet before putting it in the washer. A pacifier flew out and smacked the wall. It wasn’t the first one of the day. She’d found a half dozen Legos too. Stepping on a Lego was bad enough; sleeping with them would be slow torture.
“We were, but I convinced him to wait a while. I wanted to talk to you alone.”
Sadie radiated compassion and determination. Not always a good combo when it came to an older sister. Something was afoot, and Diana braced. “I’ve had enough lectures for one Christmas.”
Sadie laughed. “I doubt you’ve had this one.”
She sighed. There was no getting around it. She’d only escaped Mom’s sharp tongue because she’d been crying so hard. Last she’d heard, Mom and Aunt Willow were out for the morning, soul-searching and revaluating how they’d raised their children. Diana was just as high on the naughty list as Celine. “Lay it on me. I deserve it I’m sure,” she told her sister.
“I think your one big mistake this weekend was not telling Cliff you love him.”
“You’re right!” She snapped her fingers. “I haven’t heard this angle yet … because it’s insane!”
Sadie held up a hand. “Hear me out.”
Diana rolled her eyes.
Sadie shifted from foot to foot, her excitement of the revelation she was about to deliver keeping her from being still. “I didn’t think about this, but Packer mentioned something last night that got me thinking. He said no man would go along with a wedding unless he really loved you.”
“Pft! Obviously, he doesn’t know Cliff that well. Cliff would give you the shirt off his back. He is the nicest, kindest, most generous person in the whole world.”
“Diana—he had several outs he could have taken. He could have said his parents wanted to be there. He could have begged to put it off for his brother’s schedule. But he made it work. That has to mean something, and according to my husband, it means he loves you.”
“I think so too,” Dad added as he came in, carrying a load of towels. “I talked to him, honey. I heard it in his voice.”
Diana leaned against the washer, blown away and conflicted. “I thought he had feelings for me, but I think he was playing the groom so well, and I wanted him so much, that I convinced myself his general kindness was more.”
Sadie came over and rubbed her back in soothing circles. “No man is that kind.”
“Hey.” Dad lowered his eyebrows. “We’re not heartless creatures.”
Sadie giggled. “That’s not what I’m saying. Cliff was dumped at a wedding, Dad. He wouldn’t have agreed to another one if he didn’t feel …” She rolled her free hand around, trying to come up with the right word. “Safe.”
Dad’s brow slowly lifted as he considered this new information.
Diana leaned into Sadie. “I thought we could make it last. I thought, once we were married and had a chance to talk everything out and explain, that we’d be one of those couples that are really happy.” She swiped at a tear. “I wanted to make him happy.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Sadie hugged her tight. “You still can.”
“How?” she gulped out.
Dad threw the towels down. “Go to him!”
Diana and Sadie jumped at his volume. Her dad never yelled. “But what if he doesn’t want me?”
“What if he does and he thinks you don’t want him?” asked Sadie.
“That would be awful!” Diana leaned over, her hand pressed into her stomach. “He was so broken when we met. I—argh!—I can’t think of being the cause of that for him.”
“So go. Now,” Dad insisted. He gave her a shove toward the door.
The sense that she was on a sledding hill gaining speed made her grab on to the door. “The laundry? And Mom?”
Dad grinned. “I’ll take care of it.”
Diana hugged him. Knowing that he hated doing housework made his advice and sacrifice all that much bigger.
“Your mom will be okay. She’s been caught up in weddings and parties and entertaining. I think she needs a couple days to reevaluate.”
Diana pecked a kiss to his cheek. “That’s for her.”
“I’ll make sure she gets it, pumpkin.” Dad squeezed her hands. “Now get out of here, and don’t come back until you’ve talked to Cliff.”
Diana couldn’t stop the smile that blossomed. She was going to see Cliff today. For better or for worse, she’d tell him that she was in love with him.
She didn’t bother to pack her things, only grabbed her coat, purse, and keys and ran out the front door. If what her sister and dad thought was true, then she had to get to him, had to explain what was in her heart.
She barely remembered the drive home. She could have flown there and not known it until she pulled into the parking lot. Cliff’s truck was parked in his spot, but his condo looked empty. She didn’t know how she could tell. It was the middle of the day and his blinds were shut, but somehow she knew he wasn’t in there. Instead of going inside her place, she sat down on his steps and leaned her bac
k against his door. He wasn’t getting in there without talking to her first.
Twenty minutes later, it started to snow. She watched the large, beautiful flakes float softly to the driveway for a half hour. All the while, she practiced what she was going to say to him, how she was going to phrase her declaration of love.
“Cliff, I think I’ve loved you since the day I met you,” she recited to the frigid air.
When she started to tense from the cold, she grabbed Cliff’s snow shovel and went to work on both their walkways. She laughed to herself as she made a path for him from his truck to his front door. He may not know what he was walking into, but he’d get there without trudging through snow. He hadn’t left the salt bag outside, so she couldn’t sprinkle the sidewalk for him.
When she was done, she brushed off her gloves and checked the time. It was late afternoon already. He had to be home soon. He wouldn’t fly to Germany to be with his parents, would he? Her stomach began to churn. What if he was in a car wreck and she didn’t know? She’d never find out, because she wasn’t family. Her hands clenched. She pulled out her phone and called the hospital, asking if he'd been admitted. They told her he hadn’t. She thanked them and hung up.
Pacing seemed like a good idea. It was getting dark, and she needed to stay warm. The snow helped. For some reason, it always felt warmer when it snowed. Cliff would probably know why, and she yearned to ask him. When her legs were worn out, she sat back on his step, resting her head against the doorjamb. The sky was dark, but it couldn’t be later than six. Cliff would be home soon. He must have gone to work. He’d be back soon. She wouldn’t leave until he talked to her. She rested her eyes. The night and day had been the longest and most draining of her life. A few minutes later, she drifted off to sleep.
Diana was floating. Cliff’s woodsy smell filled her senses. She was in a lovely place, warm and comfortable, her head on his chest. Staying here was beautiful. Leaving would hurt, and she didn’t want to hurt, so she burrowed deeper into him.
“I’d say she’s going to live,” said a familiar voice. It wasn’t Cliff’s, so she ignored it and breathed him in. He was all around her, and life was so good.
“Diana? Diana, we need you to wake up, sweetheart.”
That was Cliff. His voice was a warm blanket draped across her whole body. “Hmm,” she responded, not wanting to break the spell that had brought her to this place.
Cliff’s palm rubbed her cheek—not kindly, either. She turned away from the pricks and pins. “Be nice,” she told him.
He rubbed her again. Someone else was rubbing her feet. Weirded out now, she pried her eyelids up to find that she was sitting on Cliff’s lap, in his condo. Asher was at the end of the couch, rubbing her feet with a towel. Her toes started to hurt. “Ow. Ow!” She tried to pull her feet away, but her leg muscles didn’t move fast enough.
“You’re too cold, sweetheart. Hold still and let us warm you up.” Cliff moved on to roughly rub her shoulder and arm.
Asher stopped rubbing and dragged a portable heater closer to the couch. “The best thing you can do is hold her close. Her fingers may feel like they’re burning, but it’s a good sign that circulation is improving.” He leaned over Diana. “Can you tell me what day it is?”
“It’s …” She was going to say the day after Christmas, but she had to think about a number. “December 26th.”
He asked her age and her full name. She answered correctly, and he stood up. “I’ll be in the kitchen—no hot chocolate until the burning stops.”
She nodded, snuggling deeper into Cliff’s hold. He pulled the blanket off the end of the couch and wrapped it around both of them.
“Do you want to tell me why you were sitting on my porch in 24-degree weather?” He sounded upset at her, which she didn’t like at all. She wanted him to call her sweetheart again, to look at her with his amazing gray eyes full of love.
She worked back through what had happened. Some of it was fuzzy, but one thing was clear. “Because I love you.” She bit her lip. That wasn’t what she was supposed to say. There were paragraphs of explanation stuck in the cold.
He shook his head. “You could have called. I wasn’t even going to come home tonight, but Asher had a shift change. You could have died.”
She thought about that for a minute. “Maybe I should have called.”
He kissed her head. When he pulled back, his eyes were closed as if he were in pain.
Seeing him hurt unhinged her tongue. “I’m sorry, Cliff. I didn’t mean to mess up. I wish I could go back and ask you to spend Christmas with me as my real boyfriend.” She wanted to brush her fingers over his neatly trimmed beard. She hadn’t even had a chance to enjoy it before he’d left, but her fingers were too stiff, and if the aching burn in her feet was any indication of what was to come, she wasn’t looking forward to them warming up.
“I would have said no.”
Ouch—his words hurt more than the bazillion tiny needles poking at her body. She curled into herself.
He brought her closer and brushed her hair off her face. “But only because I was too scared to see what was already between us. I fell in love with you a long time ago, Diana.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. “You did?” The liquid burned down her stiff cheeks. She used the back of her hand to wipe it away, the movement awkward.
He smiled softly. “I did.”
She sniffed. The only part of her thawing quickly was her nose, darn it. She must look a mess. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Everything happened so fast.” He shook his head. “It’s no excuse, but I thought you were just playing along with the fake engagement thing.”
“I thought you were playing along.” She bumped him with her body.
He rubbed his hand up and down her back. They were quiet for a while, letting the truth of it all sink in. She had feeling back in her legs and her feet, and her fingers were almost on fire, but she was really looking forward to being able to wrap them around Cliff’s neck. She sniffed several times, and Cliff retrieved a tissue from the box on the table by the couch.
“I like your place,” she said as she wiped her nose.
He chuckled. “Thanks.”
“This is the first time you’ve let me in.”
“Well, you were almost dying.”
She scowled. “Why didn’t you ever let me in?”
He sighed. “Because a part of me knew I loved you and if I let you into my life, I’d have to let you in here.” He tapped his chest just over his heart and then touched their foreheads together. “There was no way to keep you out forever, though.”
“Because we’re soul mates.” She ran her fingers across his beard. He looked so different with it trimmed up, but the warmth in his eyes was the same.
“How do you know we’re soul mates?” he whispered.
“Because if only one of us could be happy, I want it to be you.”
“And I’d want it to be you.” He kissed her nose.
“See?” She smiled. “Soul mates.”
He nuzzled her neck. “I think I see.”
She giggled because his beard tickled. Oh, she could get used to that. “Cliff?” She was falling into this moment, into him without a safety net.
He paused and pulled back. Looking deeply into her eyes, he read her worries. “Diana, I love you. I want to be with you every Christmas for the rest of forever.”
She melted into his chest, laying her head where she could hear his heartbeat. “That sounds absolutely perfect.” Thump-thump went his heart. She listened for a moment, getting sleepy again. She was warm now, though still fuzzy thinking. “I love you too, Cliff. I want to marry you.”
His chest bounced, and she felt his laughter more than heard it as she drifted off to sleep wrapped in the arms she’d wished for for Christmas. “I guess I don’t have to be nervous when I propose.”
She shook her head slightly. “If you don’t, I will.”
He laughed out loud at that. “Sleep, s
nowflake. I’ve got you.” He kissed her cheek, then her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips.
She smiled, breaking the kiss, just before she drifted back to sleep, content to know she was safe and loved. Cliff wouldn’t let her go, not now, not ever, and she’d hang on to him for all she was worth. His lips found hers once more for one of his achingly sweet, wonderful, tingle-all-over kisses, bringing her out of sleep. Her heart responded, thump-thumping in time with his. Who would have thought her fake fiancé would turn out to be the love of her life?
Epilogue
Cliff
Cliff stood at the front of the barn in front of Pastor Thomas, wearing a black tuxedo. He’d griped about having to dress so formally when Diana liked his flannel shirts just fine, but his mom insisted he look presentable for his wedding. What was a guy to do? Sometimes moms were right about things. Just like Diana’s mom was right about a Valentine’s Day wedding. Waiting two months to call Diana his wife had almost killed him.
She’d decided not to wear her great-grandmother’s dress, instead choosing an empire gown and long white gloves. She looked miraculous, and despite her insisting she would have proposed if he hadn’t, he couldn’t believe she’d agreed to be his bride.
He’d proposed on New Year’s Eve in front of her parents and his, so there were witnesses. She’d kissed him three times before he got an answer out of her.
While she didn’t wear her great-grandmother’s dress, he’d had a replica of Grandma Lola’s ring made up, with a slightly larger stone. He often caught Diana staring at it and smiling. The sigh made his heart thrum.
Celine came down the aisle first. She and her mother had agreed to a truce of sorts and agreed to not talk about men, dating, or marriage for at least five years. Aunt Willow said a mother could only be silent for so long. Celine said she’d never been happier and had brought a software developer to the wedding. He seemed like a nice guy.
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