by Jeannie Moon
“Is there a problem with it?”
“He asked me . . . he didn’t . . . He felt I should leave you alone.”
“Yeah, he said something about that.”
Meg shifted her feet uncomfortably. “I hate what you did, Harper. I really do.”
“I know you do. If it’s any consolation, I hate myself. He deserved better from me.”
“Can I ask something? It might be weird.”
“Go ahead.” Nothing could be worse than what Meg had already said.
That was all Meg needed to hear. She unloaded. “Did you really screw my brother in the wine cellar at Caroline’s wedding? Really?”
Oh, shit. “I’m not answering that. Did he tell you that?” The bastard; she was going to kill him.
“No, Caroline did. I guess Josh told her. Kevin must have told him. But really? Answer the question.”
“No! I’m not answering.” Is this what real families did? One minute you were getting a major guilt trip, and the next you were being grilled about your sex life.
“You said I could ask!” Meg squealed.
“I never said I would answer!”
Meg folded her arms and sulked and Harper found it oddly comforting that Meg had decided she could pull off her signature cute routine, especially since she saw Harper as the enemy.
“I have to get home. As you heard, I left your brother in charge.”
“Hold on. Like really in charge? He doesn’t know anything about babies!”
“No, he doesn’t,” she said. Harper half hoped the baby would wake up and torture Kevin a little. Nothing would happen, but it would be a welcome sight to see Mr. Cool with his nerves frayed because of a tiny baby. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Meg.”
Meg grabbed Harper’s wrap and shoved it at her and then picked up the telephone’s handset. “I’ll have your driver meet you out front with the car. You should leave. Never underestimate my brother’s ability to be a dumb-ass.”
Harper laughed and grabbed a folder and stashed it in her expensive briefcase, she squeezed Meg’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“I’m sure you are, but it won’t bring back the time we’ve already lost.”
“No, but we don’t have to lose any more.”
***
Kevin never thought taking care of a baby could be so nerve-wracking and she was still sleeping. Kim gave him a rundown of anything he might have to do, but ever since she’d left, he’d been going through possible wake-up scenarios in his head. He had plans for every possibility, including peeing, pooping, hunger, and gas. That was pretty much a baby in a nutshell, wasn’t it? He could handle it. How hard could it be?
He’d calmed himself down for about a minute when he heard the first snuffles and whimpers from Anna’s crib. Kevin looked at the clock. Harper would be home soon; he could do this for a few minutes on his own.
Then the whimper turned into a wail without any warning, and Kevin looked into the crib to see his sweet, beautiful baby scrunched and writhing. Kevin panicked. He picked her up and held her close, hoping that would calm her down.
It did. For about ten seconds. The she cried again and Kevin walked around the room, cradling her and wondering what he should do.
How did he get here? Why did he say Kim could go? That taking care of Anna would be no problem? He’d never felt so helpless in his life.
He started to wonder how Harper handled it. She seemed like a sophisticated businesswoman, never a hair out of place and no time for anything but her work and herself, but it was obvious from the way Kim spoke of her employer and the way the apartment was set up that Harper was more than he bargained for.
He liked Kim. She was no-bullshit all the way, but he could tell she was loyal to Harper. The woman had done a couple of tours of duty in a war zone, had a smart down-to-earth manner, and Kevin found himself trusting her. Some of the things Kim mentioned about Anna’s habits and care helped him see that Harper didn’t miss a beat when it came to their daughter, and it seemed the self-centered woman he used to know had become a lot more grounded.
Kim told him she had a lot of time off because Harper never went out, worked from home whenever necessary, and put Anna’s needs before her own.
It was a revelation for Kevin because he’d thought Harper was selfish, and while she might have made bad choices regarding him, she was anything but selfish. She’d actually given up a lot for their daughter.
Kevin changed Anna’s diaper, and after that he took a walk around the apartment with her snuggling into his shoulder. The feel of her against him was a heady thing and the sweet smell of her hair went right to his head. He was still reeling from the emotional slam he’d felt the first time he’d held her, and now the feelings were only intensifying.
He walked back toward the bedrooms and instead of making the left into Anna’s room, he did the absolutely wrong thing and made a right and stepped into Harper’s. This was a mistake.
Now Kevin wasn’t just dealing with the rush of emotions attached to Anna, but the ones attached to her mother as well. Walking back into the room where he’d made love to Harper had a strange effect on him. He missed those nights they spent together. There hadn’t been nearly enough, but she made such an impression on him, he could still feel her as he looked at the big bed. Anna rubbed her face on his shirt, and he kissed the top of that soft head and wondered where the hell he’d gone wrong that he had a woman he cared about who didn’t want him and a baby he loved and couldn’t be with.
He’d gone wrong by taking the woman for granted.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned Anna back so he could look at her face. She was perfect. Her skin was rosy and smooth, and her eyes were a brilliant blue with flecks of light that made them sparkle. This child of his meant everything to him. He’d known about her for a few days and now she meant everything. How the hell did it happen?
And because he needed another reason to fall more in love with her, that was the moment Anna chose to smile for him. Her tiny bow mouth twitched and then bloomed, with the joy spreading across her face. This wasn’t a little gassy smile he’d seen on his nephew, no this was just for him and Kevin was a total goner.
“What are you doing in here?”
Harper stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips. He hadn’t even heard her come in and she was probably pissed he was in her room, but he didn’t care. His daughter had smiled at him. Nothing else mattered.
“Kevin?”
“She smiled! Look!” He brought the baby to Harper, and Anna rewarded her mother with a smile and a gurgle. “I was just sitting with her and then she looked at me and smiled. God, she’s so pretty.” He turned the baby back toward him. “Aren’t you Daddy’s pretty girl?”
“Her smiles are something special. But I’m going to ask again, why are you in my room?”
“Ah, I don’t know. I was just walking around with her. It was a change of scenery.”
“Oh. Has she eaten since she’s been up?”
“No. I changed her, but she didn’t seem to be hungry, so I figured we’d try to wait until you got home so you could do your thing with her.”
“My thing?” There was a soft chuckle from her at the euphemism and then they both got quiet, but it wasn’t the awful awkward silence they’d experienced before. Things were changing and this felt a little bit sacred. Being around Anna had that effect on the two of them. Their emotions were getting all tangled up together, and he didn’t know if this was what was supposed to happen, but it felt like the right thing. Harper ran her hand over Anna’s dark wavy hair, watching as the baby chewed on her own fist. “She looks so much like you, Kevin.”
“Really? I think she looks like you.” Her eyes turned up and met his. She was softer than he remembered, with less edge. If he liked the woman she was before, this new side of her only made her harder to resist.
Kevin reminded himself that he was pissed off at her.
“I’ll take her so I can feed her.” Harp
er reached out and he handed off the warm squirmy bundle. “Thanks for staying with her. Kim really didn’t want to cancel her, ah, date.”
“I’m glad I stopped by.”
Harper kicked off her shoes, adjusted the pillows against the headboard before settling in to nurse the baby. Kevin sat at the end of the bed, making sure to keep some distance between them. When she was close just a minute ago, the pull between them was tough to ignore. Even now, with her one side of the bed and him on the other, he still had a hard time keeping himself from touching her.
Kevin hated this. He hated how much he wanted her even when she’d screwed up so badly.
“How did it go with Meg?” he asked.
Harper shrugged, focusing instead on Anna. “Not well. She wants me fired, but Jason said he couldn’t fire me for personal reasons even if he wanted to.”
“I asked her to stay out of it. I promise you that.”
“I believe you,” Harper said. “But when has Meg ever kept her nose out of family business? I would have been shocked if she had.”
Kevin had to agree. Both his sisters were passionate and smart, but Meg took it to a new level. She had strong opinions, and she made sure everyone knew what they were.
“I’m thinking I should just resign. It would be better for everyone.”
That shocked him. Harper was no quitter, so to hear her say she was thinking of resigning told him how much the game had changed.
“I don’t think that’s the answer. Unless that’s what you want. What would you do?”
She shrugged again. “I don’t know. I’ve kind of built my life with Reliance at the center. It even works with being a mommy, but I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted, either.”
He felt bad watching her struggle with this because he sensed there was something serious in her background that kept Harper from telling him right away about the baby. Kim had set off every alarm when she’d told him if he saw a certain name and number on the caller ID he was to let it go to voice mail. Apparently, it was Harper’s mother, and there was some really bad blood running between the two of them.
“I really do like Kim,” Kevin said as he shifted a little closer to his girls. “She’s definitely no-bullshit.”
“That’s why I hired her. She’s dealt with wounded sailors and marines. The woman can handle anything.” Harper adjusted Anna so she could nurse at the other side—they had such an easy routine, Kevin envied it.
“Kim’s protective of you. She seemed kind of freaked out by a call that came in. She didn’t answer. Didn’t really tell me anything.”
Harper looked up from their daughter’s face. “Is that so?”
“You want to tell me about it?”
Harper hesitated and took a breath. “I don’t know where to start. Based on her reaction, I’d guess the call was from my mother. She and I don’t see eye to eye, and I have a creepy stepbrother who has a lot of control over her life.”
“Are they a problem?”
“She’s been calling a lot lately, asking about coming for Thanksgiving. I told her no.”
“Plans?”
Harper looked at him and her eyes welled with tears. “No, I’m staying home.” She sniffed, steeling herself. “Uhhh. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over this.”
His heart lurched seeing her so unhappy. How could he be so affected by her, even after everything that had happened? Kevin guessed it would always be that way between them. The attraction didn’t change because times were tough. That was something, wasn’t it?
“I’m not following. You’re going to be here by yourself? Why?”
She looked down at the baby. “My plans fell through.”
It took Kevin a second, but he connected the dots. “You were supposed to be with my family, weren’t you?”
She nodded. “I don’t think I’ll be welcome this year.”
“Harper . . .”
“No, it’s okay, Kevin. I made my decision and now I’m paying for it.”
The finality of the statement made him wonder what this girl was made of. For a long time he thought she was just some spoiled rich girl, but she was all about doing the right thing. “You don’t want to see your family?”
“No. I don’t want my mother here, mostly because I don’t want to see my stepbrother ever again; he will never come within ten feet of Anna.”
“Is this something I should know about?” The way she talked about her stepbrother kicked every protective instinct in Kevin’s body into overdrive.
“There’s nothing to tell because they aren’t coming here. Things are complicated. Let’s leave it at that.”
Harper rose and put Anna across her forearm, patting her back to get the bubbles out. “My life is what I’ve made it. Good or bad, I did it on my terms.”
He grinned. “That sounds like a song.”
She smiled. “It does, doesn’t it?”
“I guess I better go. You’ll be okay?”
“I’m always okay. It’s what I do. I handle things.”
Kevin grabbed his jacket as they went through the living room. Harper cradled Anna and seemed remarkably content for someone whose life had been turned upside down. He pulled his jacket on and wondered how he was going to maintain any distance here. How was he going to stay detached? Already he was feeling the powerful pull she exerted over him. He wanted her at Thanksgiving; he wanted to keep her family in check. He wanted to know everything about her, but something was holding him back. The thing was, one day he wouldn’t hold back and Kevin knew he’d be all in. In some ways he was already there.
Leaning in, he kissed his daughter’s head and ran his hand over Harper’s shoulder. He walked out of her apartment, and she closed and locked the door behind him.
Kevin stood in the hall for a minute feeling lost. He should be back there with her. With his child. With his family.
Walking to the elevator, Kevin felt like he’d just left the best part of himself behind that locked door. Shit.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stupidly turned to the only people who would tell him the truth—honestly Kevin didn’t know if he wanted any more truth.
Josh picked up on the first ring. “What’s up?”
“You busy?”
“Jason and I are at the bar, shooting pool.”
“Riordan’s? The one by your place?”
“Yeah. You okay, man?”
“No. I’ll be there in about half an hour.”
***
The cab ride was pretty quick, getting him from the Upper West Side to Tribeca in less than the half hour he’d predicted. Still, Kevin had had a lot of time to think on the ride.
He’d grown up in this perfect family. His parents loved each other. They did the best job raising him and his sisters and even when he, Meg, and Caroline had their differences, he knew they loved him. He could go home and whatever was happening with his career or his personal life, he would be safe with his family.
Even losing his dad, which was the hardest thing that had ever happened to him, still didn’t leave him feeling lost. He had his mom, his sisters, and he had all the years his father had loved him to help him through the dark days.
Jason and Josh didn’t have the same experiences. They fought for every happiness they had, and won, not because of their parents, but in spite of them. It seemed Harper was going through the same thing. But unlike his two brothers-in-law, Harper wasn’t going to fight for anything. She was going sit back and accept some self-imposed punishment.
Kevin was all for taking responsibility for your own actions, but he was ready to call bullshit on Harper in a big way.
She was so beautiful it hurt to look at her, and Kevin knew he didn’t have it in him to stay pissed at her. It had been a week since she’d told him about Anna, and he’d already forgiven her. She’d given him a daughter, had opened the door and let him in without question. The fact was she owned him and now he had to get his family to forgive her the same way he had.
> The problem, though, was rooted with his mother. His kind, lovely mother who never held a grudge against anyone was holding one against Harper.
As his mom went, so did his sisters. And when Meg and Caroline dug in, there wasn’t much that was going to budge them.
He was glad Josh and Jason were out without his sisters. He could find out what they really thought about the whole situation and if he had a chance in hell of saving a relationship that barely had a chance to get started.
The cab dropped him off right in front of Riordan’s Pub. The place was a perfect little Irish bar set between two really trendy restaurants in Josh’s Tribeca neighborhood. They’d found the place when Josh and Caroline had started dating and they’d kept going back here when they managed to find time to grab a beer or toss some darts. Recently, Jack Riordan, the bar’s owner, installed a nice big pool table and his customers couldn’t have been happier.
When he walked in, Jack waved to him from behind the bar and Kevin spotted Josh and Jason at a high-top table with beers and burgers. Perfect. He was starving.
“You made good time,” Josh said, shaking his hand.
“Yeah, there wasn’t a lot of traffic.”
Jason smiled. “You look like you have a lot on your mind.”
“You could say that.” Kevin pulled himself into the stool and grabbed a menu. When the waitress came over he ordered a tap beer and a loaded burger.
“So what’s got you looking like you’ve been hit by a bus?” Josh didn’t mince words. “Your beautiful daughter or her equally beautiful mother?”
“Both,” Kevin said. “I don’t know how to deal with this. I should be so fucking pissed off that Harper tried to cut me out, but I just can’t stay that way. I talk to her and see her with Anna, and I just can’t stay mad.”
Jason leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his beer. “She evokes very strong responses from people. She always has. When she started working for me, she alienated a lot of the staff, but she got shit done.”
“This isn’t about getting shit done. This is about her being alone in this. I want to be with her, I’m sure of it, but she’s got this idea in her head that she’s going to do this herself and that it’s her own fault.”
