by Jules Wake
Jason placed a warm, firm hand on her knocking knee and she flicked open her eyes.
‘You’re OK. Safe.’ He laced his fingers between hers and then cupped their hands with his other hand. In that moment, she believed him. And weak as it seemed, she was happy to take his protection.
Tip tap, tip tap. Fast, angry heels marched their way. Siena swallowed.
Like a miniature virago, her mother whirled into the room, her trademark Coco Chanel red lips thinned in icy fury, which flattened out into some semblance of a smile when she saw there were several people in the room.
‘Siena, how lovely to see you. At last. I do wish you’d answer your phone when you go off on one of your little jaunts.’
‘Maman,’ she rose and went over to her mother to place dutiful kisses on either side of her face. ‘Sorry I—’ she bowed her head. ‘I needed—’ With every second under her mother’s sharp-eyed assessment, she shrivelled inside, like an ugly prune. What was it about her mother than immediately managed to make her feel utterly ridiculous, stupid and lost?
‘Next time you decide to have a holiday, it would be so much better, if you chose a less inconvenient time. But we can talk about that later.’ Her mother turned and with her usual immaculate manners introduced herself.
‘Cameron, we met in France. How are you? Still looking after the car? And Laurie?’ She offered her cheek to him and to Siena’s surprise, he obliged.
‘Yes,’ he answered. ‘What brings you here?’ He didn’t bother with any false pleasantries.
Celeste didn’t answer. ‘And you are?’
‘Jason, a friend of Siena’s.’
Celeste raised an eyebrow. ‘Indeed.’
Laurie had rustled up one of her amazing tea trays, which was bound to soothe Celeste. Although her mother would never make a scene in public, her temper simmered like a barely caged tiger.
‘This is lovely. Both my daughters in my brother’s house. A real family occasion.’ She lifted a cup to her mouth giving it careful examination. ‘The best china too. Miles always did like the finer things. The house must be full of priceless glass and cutlery. You need to make sure you take very good care of it.’
Siena thought she heard Cam snort, which turned into some coughing fit.
For half an hour, which seemed like ten times longer, Celeste held court making general pronouncements and observations. With her awareness of Jason so finely tuned, Siena found it hard to hide her smiles at the gamut of expressions that crossed his face.
‘The weather in France has been atrocious. What about here?’
Polite disinterest.
‘You missed a very good party at the Le Floche’s.’
Boredom.
‘Did you hear Claudine Valmont has finally got herself engaged? Not to the best family but he’ll do.’
Amused disbelief.
‘Yves is very much looking forward to seeing you next week.’ She gave Siena a very pointed look. ‘And to the party.’
Jason’s face clouded.
Siena sucked in a breath but didn’t manage to interrupt her mother, who rattled on.
‘So, Laurie. I hear you’ve been very busy with building work.’ With poise and elegance, Celeste balanced her saucer on her knee. ‘But not applied for planning permission for change of use. I’m glad. I’d hate to think that you were thinking of turning our ancestral home into a hotel or anything.’
Laurie gave her mother a very level look. ‘Gosh, you can hear all that all the way from France? Impressive. And no I’m not turning the house into a hotel.’ With a deliberate pause, she smiled at Cam. ‘We are going to offer bespoke bed and breakfast packages.’
‘Bed and breakfast? Here?’ Celeste didn’t bat an eyelid. ‘Oh, no. You can’t possibly do that. I won’t allow it.’
Cam raised an eyebrow and was about to speak but Laurie shook her head. ‘I’m afraid you don’t have any say.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong. This is family business. I’ve consulted my solicitors—’
‘Miles bought this house forty years ago. It wasn’t and never was a family legacy. If anyone has more right to it than me, it would be Penny or one of the other ex-wives.’ Laurie sounded so in control.
‘I meant more immediate than that. Your sister.’
Celeste shot a triumphant smile at Siena. What was her mother talking about?
‘Siena has a rightful claim to this house and the cars. I’ve talked it through with my solicitors and they think she has a viable interest.’
Siena shot to her feet. ‘But I don’t—’
‘You don’t know what you want at the moment. It’s about time you stood up for yourself.’
Siena almost laughed; wasn’t that what she was trying to do?
‘Laurie got your father’s house and now your uncle’s. Are you going to sit back and let your sister take everything?’
Siena’s skin felt tight and her face burned. She didn’t even dare look at Jason, Cam or Laurie. What must they all be thinking?
‘I think you should leave,’ said Laurie, her jaw tight and stiff.
How she kept her voice so level and calm, Siena couldn’t imagine.
Regal and self-possessed, Celeste’s smooth, impassive face didn’t give away a single emotion.
‘Very well but I would like a private word with Siena before I go. Siena, you can walk me to the front door.’
Jason started and rose to his feet.
Celeste swept her along before she could think and they were walking along the flagstone hallway to the front porch. Siena hated herself for being so weak.
‘I really am quite angry. It’s very inconsiderate of you.’ Celeste sighed heavily. ‘I don’t know what the problem is.’
‘Maman, I don’t want to marry Yves.’
‘Darling, I want you to be happy. I know about these things. I married your father believing in love and all that rubbish. Passion is fine but it doesn’t pay the bills and it doesn’t make for long-term stability. Yves and you make the perfect couple. He will give you the life you are used to. The life you deserve.’
‘I don’t—’
‘Siena, I’ve been very patient. You’ve had your way. Now it’s time to come home and settle down. I appreciate young people want to,’ her mouth pursed as if she could barely bring herself to say it, ‘have their fun, but it’s getting tedious. You can’t up and leave every time Yves has to do business and you are bored. He is a successful businessman; if you are kept in the lap of luxury, you have to do your bit.’
‘That’s not—’
‘Siena, I’m your mother. I know you. It’s always been the same since you were a small child. Easily bored. Wanting something different. I see you’ve found yourself another nice toy. A pleasant distraction.’ Celeste folded her lips into a moue of distaste. ‘By all means, have some fun if you must but don’t let it jeopardise your future.’
‘I’m sorry Maman. I can’t marry Yves.’
Her mother shrugged, not a single emotion crossing her face. ‘And when were you going to mention this to him? I take it you haven’t spoken to the poor man.’
‘I will.’ Siena did feel bad that she hadn’t spoken to Yves but he wasn’t in love with her. ‘I said I’d be home for Harry’s party. I’ll tell him then.’
‘May I suggest,’ Celeste’s hissed words sounded more like a threat, ‘that you use the next few days to think very carefully about what you say to Yves. Refusing to marry him will close an awful lot of doors to you. Life could become quite uncomfortable.’
Like a queen strolling out to greet her subjects, Celeste glided out of the house leaving Siena speechless with impotent fury, clenching her fists until she thought her knuckles might burst through the skin.
Rooted to the spot, she waited until she heard a car engine start and the crunch of gravel as it pulled away.
‘Aaaargh,’ she ground through gritted teeth.
‘You OK?’ The impassive voice made her jump.
She closed he
r eyes, feeling sick.
‘No,’ she said in a low voice. Everything felt claustrophobic. She had to get out here. Grabbing an ancient waxed jacket from the rack in the porch and pushing her feet into the nearest wellington boots, she rushed out of the front door and strode furiously to the side gate which opened out to a paddock. Throwing herself over the wooden bars, she hit the ground and began to run, her feet dragging through the snow, up the hill towards the poplars on the horizon, the boundary of Laurie’s land.
Only when she got the top, breath torn out of her in painful bursts, did she stop and burst into tears. The wind iced them to her face with vicious bites. Her mother was never going to understand.
Siena wasn’t going to waste any more time trying to convince her. From here on in, she was on her own. She wasn’t going back.
Pulling the waxed jacket down over her bottom, she plonked herself resolutely down on the ground and took the time to savour the view and breathe.
‘That was interesting.’ Cam helped Laurie stack the tray as Jason walked back into the room.
‘Is Siena OK?’ asked Laurie. ‘Where is she? You didn’t let her go with Celeste did you?’
‘No, she’s taken herself off. She needs time to rant in private. Your mother’s quite a cold fish.’
‘Tell me about it. Poor Siena. It’s easy for me. I don’t have the emotional attachment, or the sense of guilt that I should feel something for her.’
Cam’s face was guarded and he stood, arms folded, watching Laurie like a silent sentinel. Jason saw that he had Laurie’s back. A team. After three years he’d never have described him and Stacey as a team.
‘Where is she?’
‘At the top of the field,’ said Jason. ‘She’s had a bit of time but I think I’ll go up and see her.’
‘Actually Jason, do you mind if I do? We haven’t had much sister time and I do know what Celeste is like.’
‘That’s probably a better idea,’ he said. ‘I’m so pissed off with Celeste I’ll pour boiling oil on already troubled water.’
‘I could do with a hand out in the courtyard.’ Cam suggested. ‘The terracotta pots should have been brought in for the winter. Laurie’s been nagging for weeks to do it.’
‘Weeks? I mentioned them this morning for the first time,’ said Laurie indignantly
‘Second.’ Cam’s immediate response made Laurie crow in triumph.
‘OK, second! That’s not nagging for weeks.’
With a rueful grin, Cam nodded at Jason. ‘Henpecked I am, completely henpecked.’
‘And don’t you forget it,’ called Laurie over her shoulder as she left in pursuit of her sister.
Sunbeams flooded out from behind a big grey cloud like enormous grey spotlights, focusing on the untouched white fields of the opposite hillside. Siena stared at them, fascinated, already feeling soothed by the size of nature. It seemed unnaturally quiet, all sound deadened by the heavy blanket of snow. The hugeness of the landscape made her problems all seem quite puny. Leaning back against a tree trunk, her bottom numbing from the cold, she watched as the small figure of her sister got bigger and bigger.
‘This space taken?’ Laurie plonked herself down next to her before she could answer. ‘You OK?’
‘Getting there.’ Siena didn’t look at her sister. Instead, she carried on gazing at the view.
‘If it helps, I didn’t think for a minute you’d come looking for your share of anything.’
‘I didn’t.’ Siena wrinkled her nose. Nothing but honesty would suit. ‘But then I didn’t exactly come out of an altruistic desire to see my sister. I came to England and to your house because I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.’
‘And what’s wrong with that?’
Siena looked at her sister in surprise at her calm acceptance. ‘It doesn’t exactly make me a very nice person.’
Laurie put an arm round her and pulled her towards her. Siena closed her eyes as tears pricked. Laurie’s gentle acceptance floored her.
‘Sorry,’ she sniffed, wiping away at the annoying tell-tale trails as if she might be able to push them back into her eyes and pretend they’d never been there. ‘I hate people who cry all the time.’
‘It’s hardly all the time.’ Laurie squeezed her.
They sat together, both of them looking out over the view.
‘You know, I feel terrible,’ Laurie said.
‘Why?’ Siena put a hand on her sister’s arm.
Laurie’s deep and heartfelt sigh echoed with regret. ‘If I’d been a better sister, you might not have had to run away. I could have helped you a long time ago.’ Laurie shifted and dropped her arm. ‘When I came out to France, I felt really envious of you at first.’ A rueful smile shadowed her eyes. ‘I didn’t even want to like you. You were Celeste’s. She chose you. Not me.’
Siena stiffened. ‘Oh God, I’d never thought of it like that. You must have hated me.’
Laurie shook her head. ‘No, I never hated you, but I avoided getting in touch with you. You had everything and it felt as if I had nothing. But then I realised that I’d had Dad. I’m really sorry you never knew him. He was an amazing dad. Actually,’ she laughed, ‘he was a bit crap at some things.’ She rubbed at her jeans absently. ‘A lot crap, but then a bit average at other things and brilliant a lot of the time. He never remembered I needed new clothes as I grew up, so everything was always too short. At school, the other girls would always ask if someone had died because my trousers were half-mast. I got to see a lot of action films rather than romances. We went on walking holidays rather than to the beach and he’d often turn up at parents’ evening in his gardening clothes but,’ she paused, her eyes brimming with memories, ‘I knew he loved me. I came first. He was always there for me. Never ever let me down.’
‘He sounds lovely.’ Siena couldn’t imagine it at all, especially not Celeste ever turning up anywhere less than perfectly dressed.
‘You missed out. I felt really bad for you. I’m sure Celeste loves you.’
Siena hunched her shoulders. ‘You think?’
‘Of course she does. Her wanting you to marry Yves, that’s her wanting to make sure you’re looked after. She—’
‘Er, Laurie? Why have you got your fingers crossed?’
‘Aw, busted! OK, she’s a skanky old control freak.’
Siena let out a tiny giggle and Laurie pulled a face, laughing.
‘Look, she’s not skanky, a control freak perhaps, but she does want the best for you.’
Siena lifted her shoulders and pushed them back feeling the tension knotted in the muscles there. ‘Why doesn’t if feel like that?’
‘Because she’s very formal. It’s all about appearance and doing the right thing. She wants you to do the right thing. Not make mistakes.’ Laurie turned so that she faced Siena. ‘The thing is, the mistakes are yours to make. How do you know something is a mistake until you’ve made it? How you can you learn to do the right thing if you don’t know what the wrong thing is?’
‘But how do I tell her that? She won’t listen and when she says all those things, she sounds so reasonable and I sound like a spoilt, stupid kid who doesn’t know anything. You did it brilliantly.’
‘It’s different for me. You’ve been brought up to do what she tells you. You’ve never had the chance to grow up and be yourself. How long have you been here? A month? That’s not exactly a long time to break a lifetime’s conditioning. And that’s why I said, and I meant it, in France that you always had a room. What I should have said is, you’ll always have a home. You are my sister.’
Siena hugged her. ‘Thank you.’
They sat in silence for a while.
‘Jason’s going to think I’m such a wimp.’
‘I don’t think so.’ Laurie smiled. ‘All his protective instincts were out in force.’
‘I’ve made a terrible mistake with him.’ Sadness filled her voice.
‘Seriously? Oh no! I really like him. He seems lovely.’
�
��He is.’ Siena’s face crumpled. ‘That’s the problem. I’ve fallen in love with him.’
‘Why don’t you take her a hot drink and some shortbread biscuits?’ suggested Laurie, when Jason declined pudding and she caught him looking at the clock in the dining room for the fifth time. The emotional charge of the day had made Siena subdued and she’d gone to bed early before dinner. Cam had entertained him playing billiards, or rather the bugger had entertained himself by trouncing Jason royally.
When he pushed open the bedroom door, the bedside lamp on his side of the bed was lit and Siena was a lump in the bed. He kicked off his shoes and padded around the end of the bed. She’d snuggled right into the bed so that all he could see were her over-bright eyes and nose peeking out.
‘Hey, I brought you a hot chocolate and some of Norah’s special shortbread. Scoot over.’
He lifted the duvet and squeezed on to the bed next to her.
Her fingers when she took the mug of hot chocolate from him were icy cold.
‘You must think I’m rubbish.’
‘Yeah,’ he slipped an arm around her shoulders, ‘but what’s new there? You pinch my razors. Hog the duvet. Snore—’
‘I do not.’ Her head whipped round and he was pleased to see that near normal service was resuming.
‘I meant not standing up to my mother.’
‘Christ, I’m not sure I’d want to stand up to her. She makes a glacier look inviting. Is she always like that?’
Siena gave the question due consideration. ‘I guess.’
‘She obviously really rates this Yves guy.’ And he could also see that Celeste wasn’t the type of mother you could confide in. Certainly not tell intimate details of your sex life.
Siena shrugged. ‘I told you, he’s Mr Super Eligible. I’m surprised he’s not given up yet and decided to go for someone else.’
Celeste’s assumption that he was a temporary diversion rankled and Jason couldn’t work out why. He and Siena had agreed at the outset that this wasn’t forever, only for as long as they were both happy. He remembered the conversation clearly, the relief at Siena’s easy acceptance of the proposed status quo. What he hadn’t anticipated was that being with her made him the happiest he’d ever been.
