by Sammi Franks
“Right.” Beatrice nodded and continued to stare out the window. “By the way, I know it has only been three weeks, but thanks to your generosity, if my work visa doesn’t get approved, at least I have enough money to get back to the U.K.” She smiled at me, but in her eyes I read sadness and fear.
“Why wouldn’t they approve it?” I frowned. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
“Well, I only have a few more weeks. This is all Stan’s fault.” She huffed angrily.
“But if things hadn’t soured between you and Stan, we’d never have met,” I reminded her. Then when she gazed at me, I realized my mistake. “And then who’d take care of Thea?”
Luckily, before we could have any more uncomfortable conversations, I pulled into the parking lot for our hotel. The reception was being held in the ballroom. “Shall we go find Thea?” I asked as I turned off the car.
Beatrice nodded and started to open her door.
“Wait,” I urged. Then I stepped out on my side and moved around the car to help her out. As I held out my hand for her, I studied everything about her, memorizing it all, the way the blonde wisps gathered around her face, her full lips that begged to be kissed, her soulful eyes. I sighed.
“Sorry, am I taking too long?” She asked with a giggle. “This dress is tricky. Next time I make a purchase like this, I need to remember everything I’ll be doing while wearing it. I could act it out, practice, see if it’s even possible.” She let out a breath. “Because right now, if it weren’t for you, I’d probably have to flop out of the car onto the sidewalk, and do the caterpillar dance all the way into the ballroom.”
I chuckled. “Well, glad I can keep you from looking ridiculous.”
“Hey, I can dance,” she assured me.
Inside, I could feel knots forming. “Can you, now?” I tugged at my chin. “Care to prove it?”
Her eyes narrowed. “How?”
“Nothing terrible,” I assured her. “Just dance with me tonight.” I licked my lips as I stared back at her. The strapless navy blue dress hugged her curves and showed off her shoulders to perfection. The sudden need I felt to hold her in my arms actually pained me. And I knew why. Even after two years, thinking about anyone else made me feel like I was betraying Megyn. As soon as she had planted both feet and stood, I released her hand.
Unaware of my discomfort, Beatrice looped her arm through mine and allowed me to propel us into the hotel. Our seats were assigned, so it came as no surprise to discover we were sitting next to each other the rest of the night. Once Mo arrived, nearly half an hour later, she made sure to return Thea to us. Dammit. To me. My daughter. Mine and Megyn’s.
Mo passed Thea off to Beatrice. “Can you watch her for a few minutes while I speak to Will?” She smiled widely, obviously determined to prove I wasn’t in trouble. Then she led me away from the table.
“I was on time,” I grumbled. “How can I possibly be in trouble?”
“Beatrice,” she announced with a smirk.
I sighed and my head hung. “I’ve done nothing with Beatrice. There was a slight towel incident the first night, but otherwise...nothing.” I opened my mouth to continue pleading my case, but she stopped me.
“I know you haven’t. And I want to know why not?” She frowned at me in a way that made me uncomfortable.
I licked my lips. “You know why,” I whispered. “I can’t.”
“Do you think Megyn would disapprove?” Mo shook her head. “I promise you, she asked me to watch out for you. And she told me to give you two years.”
I frowned. “This was planned?”
“You’ve had two years to mourn, Will. Now she wants you to move on.” Mo hugged me close. “And no one could be lovelier than Beatrice. I ran the check on her, remember?” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
“How could I forget?” I stared over at the table where Thea and Beatrice were lost in conversation. Beatrice was holding my daughter close and they were smiling and laughing together.
“Go join them,” Mo urged. “And stop with the mourning already. You’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting Thea too.”
As I wandered back to the table, I mulled over everything Mo had told me. It made sense. And while I might have her blessing, and even Megyn’s blessing, it didn’t mean that I was ready yet. I’d barely accepted our life together had come to an end. How could I even consider replacing her?
“Hullo, Will,” Beatrice grinned as I returned.
The music changed to a slow song and we gazed at each other shyly.
“Do you want to talk?” she asked quietly.
I shook my head. “No, I’d like to dance.”
14
Beatrice
I expected we would dance together. After his comment about my dress, I knew I had to prove myself. However, this was different. This was more...intimate.
An Ed Sheeran song inspired couples to occupy the dance floor rather than children and singles. I was sure once Will heard the familiar notes, he would escort us back off the dance floor, just because dancing to this song was symbolic of something serious. But he didn’t. There was also the chance that Will had never heard this song before and didn’t know who Ed Sheeran was, which made more sense than him choosing to dance with me to this song.
When I glanced back at our table, I saw Thea had an odd smile on her face. It was as though she knew a secret and was definitely on board.
“I haven’t done this in a long time,” Will murmured. I could tell he was uncomfortable from the way he looked at our feet rather than in my eyes. “I apologize in advance if I step on your feet.”
“That’s quite all right,” I told him. “I apologize in advance if I step on yours.”
We were silent after that. His hands were on my waist while my wrists locked behind his neck. When we first started dancing, there was probably half a foot of space between us. As we swayed silently to the music, I realized we drew closer and closer until our chests were grazing and my head was underneath his chin.
This moment was perfect. It was almost too much. I wanted to keep it to myself like a secret and hold onto it as mine, and mine alone. Swaying like this with Will was more intimate than any of the time I spent with Stan, even the parts where intimacy was required. Somewhere in the middle of the song, I found my head resting on Will’s chest. It was probably because I was tired. Driving from Westport all the way to Southern California was exhausting, and I’d only been riding. I was stressed about this work visa situation. I would be okay either way, but there was a big part of me that wanted to stay.
And yet, I was worried. It was silly, I knew, but I worried that Will would end up being like Stan, too consumed with work to try to make things happen for us. On top of that, he had a daughter…a perfect, intelligent, sweet girl who wanted nothing more than to have her father’s attention…which she deserved. He couldn’t even make time for her. How was he supposed to make time for me?
Then I had to remind myself that we were not together. We hadn’t even talked about it. Besides Will’s impromptu towel incident, I didn’t think there was anything else there between us. That was all right. I was completely fine with that. But every now and then, I would find myself wide awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about him.
When the song ended, I was forced to step back from his warm embrace. It was the worst feeling, to be parted from him. I was cold. I was alone. I had been alone for months since Stan left, but I never felt alone the way I just did when I had to let go of Will.
The reception went on long into the night. There was the cutting of the cake, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, the father-daughter dance. During that, I made sure to take lots of picture of Will and Thea. It was nice to see the two of them look so happy with each other. Maybe it was something I could talk to Will about later - spending more time with Thea. She was crazy about him and he didn’t even realize it.
In the interim of traditional reception experiences, I was asked to dance by one or two men. I sai
d yes just because it gave me something better to do than sit and drink and wait for Will to ask me to dance again. Since our spin on the floor, he looked at me strangely and refused to be alone with me. It was like he didn’t trust himself around me. I hated it because it made me feel as though I had done something wrong, even if that wasn’t his intention. However, the minute I left with my temporary dance partners, he had a look of absolute frustration on his face. It might have been interpreted as jealousy, if he had feelings for me. But I didn’t know if he did. Sometimes I thought he might, but then he would do something like back into the person behind him to go out of his way to ensure we did not accidentally touch.
I would have been offended if the wine hadn’t kicked in.
Mo came over with her new husband, a tall man with blond hair and blue eyes who was named Billy. He was handsome, and when he smiled it went all the way to his eyes, wrinkling the corners. He seemed perfect for Mo.
I watched as Mo said something that made Thea smile. From there, she moved to address Will. Mo glanced at me during their conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. The music was too loud and the crowd was getting into it. I could see that Mo was exasperated and Will was unsure, maybe even doubtful.
Finally, Mo came over to me. After I shook Billy’s hand, she leaned in close.
“I wanted to apologize for what an idiot Will is, and I want to thank you for dealing with his bullshit.” She sighed.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I told her honestly.
“That’s the problem,” Mo muttered, but it sounded as though she were speaking to herself rather than to me.
After she left, I took another sip of my wine. Mo’s mother grabbed Thea for a second piece of cake, leaving Will and me alone.
“So,” I said, drawing out the word several syllables. I had no idea what to say. Things were awkward between us and I wasn’t sure why. If it was something I did, I wanted to rectify it as soon as possible.
Will downed the rest of his Scotch and then stood up abruptly. When he reached where I sat, he leaned down close and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere quieter where we can talk?”
I didn’t even have to think about it.
15
Will
As I led Beatrice out the back to the hotel gardens, I heard Mo’s words in my head. You couldn’t help losing Megyn, but you only have yourself to blame if you lose Beatrice. The idea of her no longer being around had the blood in my veins going ice-cold. Of course, I hated change, but mostly I hated myself for having feelings for someone else. In my heart, I’d thought I’d never be attracted to anyone again. Megyn had always been everything to me.
Yet here I was holding another woman’s hand, noting how soft it felt against my rough skin, the way her slender and delicate fingers laced with mine. Without thinking, I brought her knuckles to my lips for a light kiss. Dammit. She smelled good too. I was doomed. Glancing around, I realized we were finally alone. There was even a bench where we could sit. Always the strong, silent type, I merely gestured for her to have a seat.
Wide-eyed, she did so. “Will, say something,” she urged quietly. “Have I angered you in some way? You’ve been so distant…”
Staring into her eyes, I recognized pain and I hated myself for causing it. I cupped the side of her face with my hand. “I’m sorry,” I began. Then I groaned and pulled my hand away as I sank down on the bench beside her. “You know, I didn’t like you dancing with those other guys,” I blurted out awkwardly.
Her head hung. “Right. I’m on the clock. I should’ve been paying more attention to Thea. You’re right. Forgive me?”
I raked a hand through my hair. This was going badly. “You’re at a wedding. You’re not on the clock.” I couldn’t sit. I had too many thoughts I needed to get out and the only way I could do that was to move, to distance myself from her. When she was near, I wanted to touch her. Beatrice had become the sun to me. I wanted nothing more than to hover around her, basking in her light and the warmth she brought to me.
Her head tilted as I began to pace. “I don’t understand. Why can’t I dance with other guys if you don’t want to dance with me?”
“You think I don’t want to dance with you?” My brow furrowed.
“Well, you haven’t asked me since the first dance.” She shrugged. “What am I supposed to think? You’ve barely looked at me, and hardly spoken a word ever since.” Beatrice shook her head. “I don’t know what to do here, Will, but if you hate being around me so much, just say the word. I’ve become really good at leaving. I can be out of your hair and back to the U.K. in no time.” She fixed her eyes on me.
My throat closed up. I could barely breathe, let alone speak. I simply stared at her. Thea needed her. And if I was going to be honest, I probably needed her too.
“Alrighty then.” Beatrice stood stiffly. “My K-1 visa is set to expire and I’ve heard no news about the work visa. I’ll start making arrangements to fly home. Thanks to your generous pay, I can finally afford to do so.” She took a deep breath. “I guess I could start shipping things as early as next week. Plan to fly out the week after that. Does that leave you enough time to replace me?”
This was happening too fast. I studied her, wondering if she really could leave me so easily. Her cheeks had turned pink and she kept blinking back tears. But why would she be sad if she was ready and willing to go? And why couldn’t I just talk to her about how I felt if I wanted her to stay so badly?
“Let’s not do anything rash. Thea adores you. She’d be lost without you. She couldn’t imagine not having you around.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets because if I didn’t, I’d have her in my arms and start kissing her while claiming I was offering her kisses from my daughter. God, I’m an ass.
Beatrice stood stone-still. Her shoulders heaved. Finally, she murmured, “I guess we could address this when we get back. We’ll try to make the rest of the trip nice. For Thea.”
She started to turn and walk away, but I caught her arm and forced her to face me. “We need to talk. I’m just not very good at this.” I frowned as I felt my phone vibrating against my thigh. I sighed. The timing was terrible. Mo was busy. Who the hell could be calling? When I pulled it out, I saw Max was calling and sent it to voicemail. “Please, give me a minute. I’m trying here.” The phone vibrated again and I declined it once more. “You’re a really great nanny,” I began weakly. At my words, she actually wilted in front of me. Crap. I was doing this all wrong. My phone lit up once more and I gave in. “Gimme a second. It’s a client.” I took a deep breath and reluctantly answered the phone. “What’s up, Max?”
“Hey, so the kids are on spring break and Tori reminded me you’re in California. I thought you guys could join us on the yacht. Penelope could use a friend.” Max sounded ridiculously chipper.
“We’re in Pismo Beach. We’ll be leaving later tonight to drive back. The kids are on vacation, but I have work on Monday.” My fingers on Beatrice’s bicep had slid down her arm and were slowly working toward holding her hand.
“You work for me,” Max reminded me. “We’ll be there in a couple of hours. Be packed and ready.”
The man was used to getting his way. Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but Beatrice and I were in the middle of something. “I have the car,” I explained.
“I have Bodhi. He’ll drive it back.” I heard him clap his hands together and my stomach knotted. “Good, then it’s all settled. See you soon.”
The call ended and I looked into Beatrice’s sad eyes. “It looks like we’re going to be riding back on a yacht.”
16
Beatrice
I’d never officially met Max, but I did know Victoria and Penelope. Once we said our official goodbyes to Mo, Billy, and everyone else, we rode the elevator to our floor in the hotel - which conveniently, was right on the beach - and started packing. Thea was excited to hang out on a yacht with a friend from school. Max would call Will once his yacht was in the harbor. We would leave tonight, s
aving Will two hundred dollars in gas, not that money mattered.
I only had a few outfits to pack, so once we reached the hotel room, I immediately showered, washing my makeup off. I made it a point not to get my hair wet, however, just because I didn’t want to sleep with wet hair. I tried to hide in the shower as long as possible. It made me a wimp, I knew, but I could not face Will right now.
When I was forced to turn off the water, I did so. I heaved a sigh, dried off, and threw on an oversized sweater and yoga pants. Not nearly as sexy as my dress, but I didn’t care. I was comfortable to the point that I could easily fall asleep the minute I boarded the yacht. I didn’t want to hang around for another awkward conversation with Will, especially since we solved nothing in the hotel garden.
Thea couldn’t stop talking as we made our way to the lobby of the hotel where Will went to checkout. When he came back, he gave me a tight-lipped smile and we proceeded to exit through the back of the hotel and make our way to the docks. The walk was quiet, the night cool. I was glad I grabbed a sweater, even though Mo insisted that Southern California had one season and one season alone - seventy-two degrees. It was still late spring which meant chilly evenings - usually. The weather in Southern California was known to change its mind at the drop of a hat, I’d heard. It was also why I insisted Thea bring at least one sweater, which she was wearing now, over her pajamas. The only one not wearing a jacket was Will.
“There he is.”
I looked to where Will stared and my eyebrows shot straight up. There was a huge yacht with one person leaning against the railway. He held a glass of some sort of beverage in one hand, and when he noticed us arrive, he raised it, as though he were giving us a mock-toast.
