by Polly Carter
She let herself out the front door and climbed into the passenger’s seat as soon as the car stopped. Arian looked at her as she did up her seat belt and then hunched herself as small in her seat as possible like a hedgehog curling up into an unfriendly, prickly ball.
“Hello?” he tried.
“Hey,” Harley replied looking out her window. “Where are we going?”
“I thought we might go to my place and have a quiet chat,” Arian answered as he backed out of the drive and headed down the hill. “How was your day? Your mum said you were having lunch with Jessamy when I dropped in. I should have called first. I was lucky anyone was home. I wasn’t expecting to call by but I had some business out of town so just took the chance. I’m glad I did now,” he smiled at Harley who didn’t smile back. He shrugged. “So, how’s Jess?”
“She’s good. I invited her to the meeting on Saturday afternoon. She’s dying to catch up with you. That’s okay, isn’t it? I mean if she’s there.”
“Yes, of course. It’ll be good to see her. I’m guessing you won’t be telling me anything you haven’t already told her anyway. How is she? What’s she been doing with herself?”
The rest of the thirty-minute drive was spent in Harley telling Arian about Jessamy’s extended stay in Melbourne and her career in the security industry. She didn’t mention her recent foray into the world of private investigations.
“This where you live?” Harley asked as Arian pulled into the garage of a very modern townhouse set amongst older, character homes in the inner-city suburb of Mt Lawley.
“Yep,” Arian answered as they exited the car. “It belongs to one of the guys I work with. He bought two in this block when they were built. He and his wife live in one and they rent this one out. It was vacant when I got back to Perth, and he’s kindly letting me rent it at a good price while I get settled. It’s a pretty good deal. It’s big, clean and close to town. Come in and see.”
He closed the garage door behind them and then unlocked the front door, pushing it open and turning a light on inside so Harley could go in.
“Wow, yeah, it’s very stylish,” Harley said looking around. “You live here by yourself?”
“I do, but as I said it’s only temporary. Geoff is looking for a long-term tenant, and I’ve got somewhere else lined up. It’s just having a bit of work done on it before I move in, so I’m not expecting to be here long. But, yeah, it’s pretty comfortable and handy for the moment. Want a beer? I’m having one.”
“Sure,” Harley replied as she put her bag on the dining table and followed him to the kitchen. The townhouse, similar to all modern ones, was open plan with a counter separating the small kitchen from the lounge and dining area. Harley sat on a stool on one side of the fake-granite countertop while Arian opened the fridge and took out two bottles of beer. He handed one to Harley who screwed the lid off and put it on the bench, and then took a swig from the bottle. Arian undid his and took a drink as he walked back around the bench to where Harley was sitting. He put his bottle down and, before she realised what he was going to do, took her bottle from her hand, put it down with his, and pulled her up into his arms.
“Mmm, you look good enough to eat,” he murmured as he bent his head and kissed her slowly and thoroughly as if he did indeed intend making a meal of her. At first, Harley resisted, putting her hands on his chest and wriggling, trying to push him away, but he was too strong and his lips too warm and delicious, his arms too tight and snug, and his body pressed up against hers too hard and sexy.
Damn him. He had no right to kiss her like this when she didn’t want him to, and she didn’t want him to despite her arms creeping around his neck, despite her body snuggling up against his, and despite her lips now entwining themselves with his lips.
“That’s a much better greeting than I got earlier,” he said with a grin when he finally released her mouth.
“It seems to me I had very little say,” she replied coolly. “Of course, if it satisfies some perverted need in you to go around half-swallowing unwilling women, I can hardly be held responsible.”
Arian threw his head back and laughed, then looked at her sideways. “Well, it does. And I hold you completely responsible for my not being able to control myself when I’m around you.”
Realising he was going to kiss her again, Harley put up her hands as though to fend him off.
“Now, now, my sweet,” he admonished her gently, catching hold of her hands and pulling them behind his back so she was forced to put her arms around him. “That’s much better,” he murmured against her hair as he pulled her so close she could feel every part of his muscular abdomen and thighs. She shivered as he let go of her hands and quickly wrapped his arms around her so tightly it was useless for her to try and escape. He ran his hands down her back until they were cupping her bottom and he was pulling her against the hardness of his erection. “See what you do to me?” Then bringing his left arm to circle her waist, without warning he raised his right hand and brought it down with a crack on her bottom.
“Ow,” she exclaimed, jumping in surprise. “What was that for?” The smack, over her jeans, hadn’t hurt, but it had immediately sent a jolt of erotic desire through her, and she knew from the glint of triumphant desire in his eyes that he knew it had.
“That, my dear, is a small forewarning of what’s in store for you later. What for? The list is long as will be your punishment.”
Damn him again! Why couldn’t she be near him without her body traitorously being overwhelmed by lust? And why did his threat of spanking her wreak such havoc on her: her mouth was dry, her breathing quicker, her breasts heavy and her sex swollen, wet and aching. She moaned gently in his arms as once again his mouth took possession of hers.
This time he was more gentle. Sensing her need, he teased her by not holding her so tightly against him when she yearned for the hardness of his body, not pressing his mouth firmly against hers when she yearned for him to assault her with his lips and tongue, and not touching her breasts when they ached to be captured, caressed, kissed and massaged.
Tormented now by his tantalising nearness and all the pent-up longing of years apart, she strained against him, locking her hands behind his head and forcing him to deepen his kiss. With a growl of desire, he relented and kissed her as she was silently begging him to. His lips explored every tiny bit of hers while his tongue slid suggestively in and out of her mouth and his hand slid around from her back to close over her swollen breast.
Turning slightly sideways to allow him complete access, she tried to tempt him into slipping his hand under her clothing so she could feel his skin against hers. She was hungry with longing; all thought, all reason, all control had deserted her, and all she was aware of was her own naked desire. It had been so long since she’d felt Arian inside her. Now he was here with her, no pale facsimile, but the actual and real Arian, the very beat of her heart and hub of her need.
She groaned as he bent his head and kissed the tip of her breast. Feeling the bump of her aroused nipple, he nipped it between his teeth and shook it ever so gently with a deep, throaty growl.
“Definitely good enough to eat, but unfortunately we will have to settle for only an appetiser now. The main course will have to wait.”
Jolted back to reality by his words, Harley looked at him in surprise tinged with annoyance at herself for her wanton reaction to him. Her expression cooled as she regarded him, and she pointedly adjusted her clothing.
“Ah, dear,” Arian said, sighing deeply and assuming a resigned air. “Now we are going to hear the same unbelievable story about how you really wish I would just leave you alone, despite the fact that a few seconds ago I was in real danger of being wrestled to the floor and having you do unspeakable, but utterly delicious, things to my poor body.”
Harley had the grace to blush. “Okay,” she conceded with a shrug “I can’t deny that my body responds to yours; it would be childish of me to pretend otherwise. I’m still sexually attracted to yo
u. I think I would prefer it if I wasn’t, and if you’d never burst back into my life I would not have gone looking for you.” It was almost the truth, she told herself, mentally crossing her fingers. “And if you disappeared out of my life again, I would survive as I have in the past.”
“But that’s completely out of the question now, isn’t it?” Arian frowned at her. “Disappearing out of your life, I mean. And as for the other, well if sex is all you want from me, I guess I will have to swallow my disappointment and learn to live with that. It’s not much of a basis for marriage, but what can I do?”
“Marriage?” Harley exploded in anger and frustration, her fists clenching. “Why are you so obsessed with marriage? Can’t you focus on keeping me out of prison? Even if I sign the form it doesn’t mean I’ll actually marry you.”
Arian’s eyes narrowed, and Harley felt a chill wash over her as she looked into their infinite depth.
“You might have been prepared to refuse me if it was just you and me. Maybe you would have even been prepared to gamble with your freedom if you thought it was a choice between that and tying yourself to me, but I know there is something you will never gamble with or risk losing, no matter the cost…”
Trembling with fear at his ominous tone and almost afraid to ask the question despite knowing the answer, Harley managed to whisper through chattering teeth, “What?”
“Lyddia. My daughter.”
Chapter 10
“My daughter.” A pain as sharp as the steel of a sword pierced Harley’s heart, which was beating the rhythm of her fear in a rapid tattoo. He was clever, there was no denying that, and what he wanted he generally got. Her mind was whirling, sensing danger to her child but not quite being able to articulate exactly what it was. Was he threatening to take Lyddia from her? Was he such a monster he would use an innocent child as a pawn in his power game? Well, let him try. Just let him try.
Assuming as nonchalant an air as she could on her wobbly legs, she pulled away from him and walked to the other side of the room. Inside she was fighting to control her emotions; she was determined not to let him see how much he had affected her. She even managed a snort of derision as she turned to face him again.
“Lyddia?” she mocked him. “I know you’ve been snooping around my home and I know all about your session with Lyddia. She told me herself. So, okay, you’ve met my daughter. I told you I have a daughter. What’s that got to do with you? How does that change anything?”
“The fact I know you have a daughter changes nothing,” he answered, his voice so low Harley had to strain to hear him from her position on the other side of the room. Her confidence that she could withstand him faltered as she looked into his face. It had a quality she’d not seen before and couldn’t name, but she felt her uneasiness growing. He seemed so still, the colour had drained from his cheeks, and his eyes impaled hers, daring her to look away.
“What then?” she muttered, afraid to ask but more afraid of the silence pounding in her ears.
“Lyddia is not your daughter. She’s our daughter. Or are you going to deny that I am her father?”
“What makes you so sure you are her father? You said you hadn’t lived like a monk since we split; what makes you think I’ve lived like a nun?”
Arian looked at her through narrowed eyes and shoved his clenched hands into his pockets. She was a little afraid, but not that he would hurt her physically. She knew he would never do that. He was hurting, though; she could see it in his eyes. She wanted to take his pain away, but her own stubbornness still refused to allow her to surrender to him.
“Are you saying she’s not my daughter?”
“I don’t know why you are so sure she must be. We’ve been physically apart more than together since before she was born.”
“Did you cheat on me while I was in the States?”
“Would that matter now?”
Arian shook his head as he ran his hands roughly over it.
“Why are you making this so difficult, Hal? Stop answering questions with questions.”
“Stop asking questions and I will.”
“I’ll stop asking questions when you give me a plausible explanation for your having a daughter that doesn’t involve me being her father!”
“Fine.” Harley shrugged. “Well, then, if you insist–it’s no-one you know. He was a one-night stand. I don’t know his name or where he lives, and he doesn’t know about Lyddia. Is that plausible enough for you?” Trying to appear as disinterested as possible, she nevertheless scrutinised his face carefully to try and gauge his reaction. His expression didn’t change but his shoulders relaxed and his hands unfurled.
“So, this unknown man was responsible for Lyddia? Are you sure about that?” he asked flatly.
“Of course I’m sure,” she snapped. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“What did he look like? This ‘father’?” he asked, ignoring her previous question.
“I don’t know. For goodness’ sake, it was so long ago. I barely knew him. I can’t really remember him at all.”
“Come on, Hal,” he persisted. “You must remember something. Hair colour? Skin colour? Eye colour?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” she waved her hand as if to fend off his relentless interrogation. “Okay, he was fair-skinned and had brown eyes and hair. Anything else?” she added sarcastically.
“Dark hair and eyes, eh?” he mused. “Well, you have dark hair and eyes so Lyddia could have got her colouring from you, but it struck me that she doesn’t really look much like you at all, do you think?”
“I think she looks a lot like me,” Harley said defensively, nervously biting her lip. When would he stop this incessant questioning? What was he trying to achieve? And what was possessing her?
“Maybe,” he went on, “but not really a lot. More like a very little bit. You have to agree that the likeness isn’t that striking, is it? I suppose she could take more after her father’s side, do you think?”
“I don’t know. I guess so,” she said angrily. “I don’t know what your point is, but I guess if she doesn’t take after my family, she must take after his. So what? She’s definitely my daughter.”
“That’s true,” Arian muttered as if to himself still appearing to be deeply pondering the issue. “No, I think she must look like her father’s family… if she looks like anyone in particular. Don’t you agree?”
“All right,” Harley exclaimed in frustration. “I agree, if that makes you happy. You are absolutely right. She looks nothing like me and takes after her father. If he were here now, we’d probably agree she is the spitting image of him.”
“Maybe not him,” Arian droned on, apparently ignoring her outburst. “Perhaps another member of his family, like his sister, perhaps? Or his aunt? Or maybe his grandmother?” He paused.
“His grandmother! Yes, that’s it,” she practically screamed at him in annoyance. “Yes, I think you’ve finally got it. I’m sure she looks exactly like his grandmother did at her age.”
“So am I.” The change in Arian’s voice brought Harley back to earth with a jolt. The dreamy speculative quality had gone, replaced with a cold assurance.
“What do you mean?” she asked tremulously.
Instead of answering her, he reached into his pocket, took something out and handed it to her. It was a black and white photograph. In it stood a little girl, about four years old, with a dark mop of hair and a round cherubic face. Harley stared in disbelief. “Lyddia,” she whispered, but she knew it wasn’t. Lyddia had never owned a coat like that, nor the style of boot the little girl in the picture wore. Nor had they been in fashion for over sixty years. With tears pricking her eyes, she looked wordlessly from the picture to the man standing next to her.
“Yep, that’s Nanna when she was about the age Lyddia is now. The likeness is uncanny, wouldn’t you say?” Arian said bluntly.
Harley continued to stare silently at him.
“You see? I told you she looked like her father’s grandmother
and you agreed. That’s my Nan, and,” he finished triumphantly, “I am Lyddia’s father and you aren’t going to keep her from me any longer.” His face darkened with anger as he continued. “My God, Harley. She’s my daughter as much as she is yours. Why didn’t you tell me? What do you think gave you the right to conceal her from me? To rob me of her baby years.”
“What was the point in her knowing you when you would just swan off and abandon her when it suited you? I didn’t want her heart broken, too!” Harley shouted at him her body shaking violently, her eyes brimming with tears.
“Oh.” A flood of understanding washed over Arian’s face. He wrapped Harley in his arms, holding her tight and rocking her until the shaking subsided.
“I wanted to tell you,” she whispered at last, her face still buried against his chest. “The last time I came to see you.”
“You were pregnant then?” he asked incredulously. “I didn’t realise.”
“I know. I couldn’t believe you didn’t notice. I know I was barely showing, but I was sure you would just know. And I tried to talk you into coming home. I begged. But you wouldn’t. I didn’t want you to just come back for the baby. I wanted you to come back for me. Because I needed you. And when you wouldn’t I thought that if Lyddia knew you were her father, you might abandon her one day too, and I didn’t want to put her through that pain.”
“Oh, Lord. What a fool I was,” he muttered, kissing her hair. “I was a blind fool, wasn’t I, Hal?”
“Yes,” she answered simply. “But to be fair to you, Arian, I could have done things differently too. I could have trusted you more. I could have made more effort to explain how I felt.”
