Since that Saturday night when Shawna had found out that Tron had a full-blown side chick, her feelings had literally been on the edge. Every hour of the day, the entire scenario sat in the back of her mind. Every so often, if there was nothing to think about or just one too many minutes of silence, she would slip off of that cliff.
Shawna worked quickly as she watched the snow outside of the shop pile up. Not only was the street in front of the shop starting to slow down with traffic as the night went on, but it was also quickly disappearing. It had turned into a snow-packed space between two sidewalks.
“Girl, I am so sorry to have you in here this late,” Ms. Susan said, apologizing. She had called Shawna earlier, wanting to get her hair done before it started to snow. Ms. Susan, who looked a lot like an older version of Mary J. Blige, had thought that the snow was not supposed to start until the very late hours of the night. She was just as surprised as Shawna when the two of them looked out of the shop and saw that it was already starting to snow at five o’clock in the afternoon.
“Miss Susan,” Shawna said, forcing herself to smile. This had been the first thing she’d said in several minutes while doing the last few touches on Miss Susan’s hair. “Girl, don’t trip about it. Plus, I know you gotta look good when you goin’ into them office buildings downtown.”
Susan nodded. “Yeah, Shawna,” she said. “You know how them white people up there are. They asses will come up with just about anything to fire a sister, and bet you me that it sure won’t be my ass over how I come up in there looking. I go to work every day looking sharp, from the kitchen to my edges.”
“That you do, Miss Susan,” Shawna said then got quiet again. Her mind began to wander as Ms. Susan talked about something or another. Whatever it was, Shawna couldn’t bring herself to pay attention and process it all. She found herself thinking more and more about the things she shouldn’t as the night went on and the shop had emptied out of the other stylists and their clients. Now, going on ten o’clock, it was just her and Ms. Susan.
Susan picked up that Shawna just wasn’t being her usual self. Shawna had done her hair for years, since she was doing it in her very own apartment out on the east side. To say the least, Susan saw Shawna as a niece in so many ways. She could always tell when something was going on, and she was always willing to open up and teach a young black woman about her own experiences in this crazy thing called life.
“What’s wrong, Shawna, baby?” Ms. Susan asked, making eye contact with Shawna in the mirror. “What’s goin’ on, girl?”
Shawna just shook her head side to side, saying that it was nothing. “Don’t you worry about my problems, Miss Susan,” Shawna said, trying to be humble and evasive about it all. “For real, it ain’t that big of a deal.”
“Girl, I can tell that it is,” Susan said. “You know I been around a little bit, so I ain’t no dummy. Plus, I know you. You almost like family to me, girl. I can tell something is up and it is really getting to you.”
Shawna took a deep breath, taking a moment to think about how and if she was going to tell Ms. Susan everything. Ms. Susan was one of her clients that she actually trusted. On top of that, Shawna couldn’t deny the fact that Ms. Susan was always one to give the best advice and keep it real with her without talking down to her or anything like that.
“It’s Tron,” Shawna said, almost sounding hesitant.
“That guy you been dating for like a few years now?” Susan said. “What could be that wrong, girl? You over there looking like he just done crushed your heart or something.”
Shawna was quiet for a moment, telling Susan that whatever she had said was getting mighty close to whatever was bothering her.
“What is it with Tron?” Susan asked, this time in a more serious voice. She swung around, facing Shawna. “What happened, Shawna? Tell me what happened.”
Shawna’s lips started to tighten up. If thinking about the entire scenario didn’t make her mad or incredibly sad, then talking about it was definitely going to do it for her. She pushed through it and decided it would be best to let it all out to someone other than her sister for the first time.
“I found out that Tron got a side chick,” Shawna said, sounding very matter of fact.
“What?” Susan said. “Girl, you lying. He been fuckin’ round with some other bitch? Excuse me…my language.”
Shawna nodded. “Yup,” she answered. “And it’s fine. And it’s been more than just him messing around with her. I mean, I saw the signs, but…”
“You just didn’t want to believe it?” Susan said, finishing her sentence.
Shawna nodded. “Basically, Miss Susan,” she answered. “Basically. See, last week Morgan had told me that she had drove passed Tron coming out of some apartments over on the south side.”
“The south side?” Susan asked. “Like what part of the south side, girl?”
“Somewhere out south, off of U.S. 31 and Thompson Road or somewhere around there, in that area,” Shawna told her. She could see the look on Ms. Susan’s face was a lot like the look that had been on her own face when she heard about Tron being out in some obscure place like that. “I know what you thinking, Miss Susan. I wondered the same thing. Who would he know out there? Who would he know that stay out there in some apartments off of the main road like that? I just found it to be incredibly suspicious my own self. When I asked him about it…”
“What he say?” Susan asked, wanting to know.
“He told me that he was out that way to meet up with some remodeling dudes,” Shawna answered. “Something about he was meeting up with them to talk about the details of them remodeling the front of the club so it’ll have a new look.”
“Honey, that club is two shootings away from being on the FBI watch list,” Susan said, not even thinking about how she might have been coming across. “I know it probably making some money and stuff, but I be damned if every time I look up, I see that place on the news for some ole crazy shit done popped off yet again. Excuse me…my language.”
Shawna snickered as she turned Ms. Susan back around toward the mirror and went on trying to finish up with her hair. It was already late enough and she did not want to be leaving that shop around midnight if she could help it.
“So yeah,” Shawna said. “I called him on Saturday and you won’t believe what I heard when his phone picked up.”
“Did you hear him talking to her or some ole stupid shit like that?” Susan asked. “Excuse me…my language.”
“Worse,” Shawna said, watching as Susan’s eyeballs practically jumped out of her face. “I heard them…sexing,” Shawna said, watching her words carefully because Ms. Susan was old enough to be her mother and she wanted to be respectful. She forced a half-assed smile. “Excuse me…my language,” she added, being sarcastic.
“Girl, you are fuckin’ kidding me!” Susan said. “You called that nigga up and he was fucking his hoe and you could hear it?”
Shawna nodded. “Yup!” she said. “You know how touch screen phones can be.”
“I hate that shit myself,” Susan said. “Your phone be answering calls in your pocket and purse and shit while you be riding down the street or whatever. That shit ain’t no joke. Excuse me…my language.”
“Yeah, well that’s how it happened, Miss Susan,” Shawna said. “I already wasn’t really past the whole thing about him being out south, but it wasn’t like I could really argue with him about it. I even asked why my sister would say that she had seen him coming out of some apartments.”
“And what that nigga say then?” Susan asked.
Shawna could feel herself getting a little heated again. She did not like being lied to dead in her face. And the very idea that Tron would do that to her only made it all worse for her and how she was feeling.
“He gon tell me that he had got turned around when he was down there and that he was probably just doing a U-turn,” Shawna said.
Susan shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Girl, that sound like some shit
a nigga would say if you asked me,” she said. “Excuse me…my language.”
“Yeah, but when I called him and heard him fucking – sexing – for myself, my heart just hurt.”
“I bet it did,” Susan said, nodding. “Been there before…many years ago.”
“And there’s more, Miss Susan,” Shawna said.
“What!” Susan said. “What the fuck you mean there’s more? What the fuck else could there be? If you done called the nigga and heard him getting some of that…what else?”
“Okay, so just listen,” Shawna said. “So, I went up to the club on Saturday night and guess who is standing there in the doorway when I get there, waiting up by the bar.”
“That bar,” Susan said, shaking her head. “Them cheap drinks. But anyway…girl, who? Who was standing there when you got there?”
“Her,” Shawna said in a very definitive tone.
“Her who?” Susan asked, not really getting who would just so happen to be standing there when Shawna got up to the club.
“Her,” Shawna said again, grinning and nodding her head with her lips now tight. “His chick.”
“His bitch?” Susan said. “Like y’all both was standing there? Together?”
Shawna just nodded, knowing that she didn’t have to really answer that question. “Yep,” she said. “Miss Susan, when I walked up in there after really doin’ a number on the house before I left, I was just going to tell him where he could get off and that I was moving on. And what do you know…to my surprise…there she is, standing up there in a white dress that was so tight it looked like if she would have bent over to put her shoe back on, it would come apart at the seams.”
Susan shook her head. “Don’t make no fucking sense,” she said. “Excuse me….my language. So, Shawna, what she look like?”
Shawna twirled Susan around and looked straight into her face for a moment. “Excuse me…my language, Miss Susan,” she said, giving her aunt-like client a little warning before she really went in with the details. “But that bitch looked like a straight-up desperate thot. Like she would do anything to get with any chick’s man.”
Susan’s nostrils flared as she rolled her eyes and Shawna turned her back around, telling her that she was almost done with her hair so the two of them could get out of the shop at a reasonable time.
“I hate them kinda hoes,” Susan said. “And now you in your feelings. I already know.”
“I mean,” Shawna started to say, but really didn’t know how to end her own sentence. “I can’t lie, it hurts.”
“Did you beat that bitch’s ass?” Susan asked.
Shawna shook her head. “Naw,” she answered. “I got too much to lose.” Shawna looked around at how she was actually doing hair in a decent shop. On top of that, she had talked to Miss Susan before about how she was saving her money to maybe buy a small building and really have her very own shop. “If you woulda seen her, you would not have jumped on her, either. She was begging for it, don’t get me wrong. But, at the end of the day, I ain’t gonna fight over no man. And she wasn’t worth going to jail, not for me anyway.”
“Girl, you right about that,” Susan said, nodding. “I saw that shit, excuse me, on the news a day or two before the weekend I feel like. Something about some girls getting into a fight and one pulling out a gun and it going off or something?”
Shawna nodded her head, rolling her eyes. “That is a whole ‘nother story, Miss Susan,” she said. “I ain’t even got time to go into all that with you right now. I’ll have to tell you about all that later. That had to do with Tron’s boy, Tyrese, and…it was just a bunch of mess.”
“Young folks, relationships, and strip clubs,” Susan said. “I remember. That’s all it really is…a bunch of mess. I wish I had been as smart as you when I was younger.”
“What you mean, Miss Susan?” Shawna asked.
Susan rolled her eyes and cracked a smile. Even all these years later, she still could remember all of the details and how crazy it all seemed now that she was almost 55 years old.
“Well, Shawna, don’t laugh,” Susan said. “But your Miss Susan was in a sort of situation kind of like that back when I was like twenty-five…I mighta been twenty-six. Shit, I don’t really remember.”
Shawna started smiling. She always found it funny to hear older people, be it her mother, her own aunts and uncles, or someone like Miss Susan, talk about some old foolish mess from “back in the day” as they would always say. “Miss Susan?” Shawna asked, hearing the way Miss Susan was pausing like she was about to tell a really embarrassing story.
“Alright, girl,” Susan said. “Alright. So, like you said, you called and heard him fucking some other girl, right?”
“Right,” Shawna said, wondering where this was going.
“Well, I came home and saw it live and in action,” Susan said.
“Dang, Miss Susan,” Shawna said. “I know that had to hurt.”
“Yeah, I was gone off of this guy for a while and we were spending a lot of time together and eventually moved in together,” Susan said. “So like two or three months into us living together, I get off work early. He worked night shift at the harbor. This was when I lived out in Baltimore, by the way. So, yeah…I got off work early and came home and he was fucking, excuse me, some other girl in our bed.”
Shawna shook her head. “Dudes can be so foul,” she said. “I mean, dang. That is just foul.”
“Yeah, well…” Susan said, shaking her head. “Don’t count on that changing anytime soon. That’s just the way it has always been. Anyway, I wasn’t the professional kind of young woman at that point in my life so I wasn’t thinking the way I would think about something like that happening now. I jumped on her.”
Shawna smiled. “What?” she asked. “You jumped on her, Miss Susan?”
Susan rolled her eyes and looked down, almost feeling embarrassed to be telling this kind of story at her time in life. “Girl, yes, Shawna,” Susan said. “I was so mad that I jumped on her. But that ain’t even the worse part. I think, knowing how I was when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have jumped on her if she was just some chick he met out at the store or something.”
“What you talkin’ about, Miss Susan?” Shawna asked, confused about what Miss Susan was saying. “Who was he in bed with?”
Susan paused then looked into the mirror, locking eyes with Shawna. “My half-sister,” she said.
Shawna’s eyes bugged. “What?” she said. “Your half-sister?”
Susan just nodded her head then started shaking it. “Hmm...hmm,” she hummed before she started talking. “It was my half-sister, Karen. I didn’t really grow up with her or anything, but at this time, we were starting to get to know each other and stuff. You know, doing the sister thing cause our daddy really didn’t bring us together like he should have. We both saw him and knew that he had other kids, but the two worlds never really met.”
“So, did you dude know that he was in bed with your sister?” Shawna asked. “I mean, dang. That is just crazy.”
“Yeah, he knew,” Susan said. “We had actually just had a get-together for somebody’s birthday – I don’t remember who at this point. That is where the two of them met. A couple weeks later, I come home early from work and walk in on the two of them getting in it, as you kids say, in our own bed. Hmm…hmm.”
“So, let me ask you, Miss Susan,” Shawna said. “How did you get past it?”
“Past what?” Susan asked. “Past being confused and feeling bitter and just like you been done all sorts of wrong?”
Shawna looked down at the shop floor for a second, finding it crazy how Miss Susan managed to describe exactly how she was feeling at that very moment about what was going on with Tron. “Yeah,” Shawna said. “That feeling…those feelings.”
“Well, baby,” Susan said, sounding very hesitant. “I actually wound up getting back with him.”
Shawna was truly shocked at what she had just heard. “You did?” she asked, not wanting to
sound as if she was coming across as insulting to Miss Susan.
Susan nodded, confronting the story herself in her own way and kind of glad that she was talking about it after all this while.
“Yeah,” Susan said. “He’s my children’s father. We wound up getting married and were married for twenty-one years…married until he died of cancer.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Susan,” Shawna said. “But, how did you bring yourself to do that?”
Susan shrugged. “Well, I really don’t know,” she answered. “I mean, we fell out about it for a while, but after so many months, I guess I just kind of started to think that I wasn’t gon’ find no better out there. I mean, I probably had options. But…” Susan took a deep breath. “Sometimes you just get familiar with what you already have and you get to a point where you’re willing to work through it all rather than start all over again with someone else. I guess you get to the point where you kind of think on the idea that you would go through all the same stuff with some other nigga.”
“So, do you think I should get back with Tron after finding out that he had a side chick?” Shawna asked, really wanting some of Susan’s wisdom since she’d been so open with her about what all she went through with her husband when they were younger.
Susan shook her head. “I can’t say yes or no to that, Shawna,” Susan said. “I ain’t you. No matter what you do, if you don’t remember nothing I tell you, remember this. Don’t let nobody tell you how to live your life. Cause when all the shit, excuse me, falls apart, you’ll be the one sitting up and living with regrets, wondering why you did this and why you did that while everybody else just moved right on.”
Shawna could hear the resentment, of sorts, in Susan’s voice. In so many ways, as she finished up with Miss Susan’s hair, her heart went out to her so much that she felt the need to thank her. She hugged her as she stood up out of the chair.
The Diary of a Side Chick 2 (Side Chick Diaries) Page 4
