The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas)

by T. A. Grey

  He looked exhausted, from his drawn face to the fatigue around his eyes.

  “Good, because it actually happens to involve the bed.” She pointed at it. “Get naked and climb in.”

  He tensed.

  She understood why. They’d slept together and had been in each other’s arms, but they hadn’t done the deed and they were both still nervous about it.

  She grabbed the oil she’d snatched earlier and waved it at him. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that. I just want to give you a massage.”

  If anything, he grew even more tense. “Don’t think that’s such a good idea, sweetheart.”

  “It’s a great idea. You’ll see. Now strip.”

  The objection rang loud and clear in his eyes, yet he started pulling off his worn-in jeans and tugging his shirt over his head. Leaving one very strong man in nothing but white cotton boxers. He started toward the bed.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” she tsked. “All of it.” Okay, maybe the boxers didn’t need to be off for what she had planned, but did she want to see his beautiful body naked again—yes.

  Grudgingly he shoved them down his legs. When he stood back up, he crossed his arms and spread his legs wearing a purely masculine expression that said: go on then, check me out.

  So she did.

  He hung heavy, though not hard, between his legs. She bit her lip and eyed all of his beautiful body. All the sinewy hard lines and curves and dips. A manly spattering of hair drifted from his pecks down a thin line that dipped over his naval and mixed into the thatch around his groin. When her eyes trailed back over his shaft it hung at half-mast.

  “Okay,” she said suddenly feeling quite warm. “Get on the bed, back facing up.”

  He sent her a knowing smirk and while it wasn’t the laugh or the full-blown smile she was looking for, it’d do. She grabbed a towel and straddled his taut buttocks, making him send her a warning look over his shoulder.

  “What, don’t you trust me?”

  He snorted. “I do, so don’t do anything to make me lose that trust.”

  “Aw, baby, don’t be so tense,” she whispered in her best sexy voice. “Let me help you to loosen up a bit.”

  She squirted oil in her palm then rubbed her hands together to heat it up. She started on his shoulders first.

  “Now, just relax and let me make you feel good, big boy.”

  “I am not a boy.” His reproach was dulled by the pillow he had his face shoved into.

  “Boy, man, alpha, whatever. It’s all semantics.” She got deep into his shoulders and arms rubbing the hard muscles until they softened under her touch.

  His breathing deepened and he let out a husky groan. The sexy sound made her even more determined to elicit as many of those erotic noises as possible.

  Her hands hurt from the work but she kept on through it. By the time she reached the middle of his back he was putty in her hands.

  “Damn, sweetheart, you are somethin’.”

  Her mouth twitched. “You know what they say…flattery will get you everywhere.”

  A snort. “I don’t wanna be anywhere but here.”

  Melting on the inside, she leaned down to kiss his temple. “Whenever you’re ready, baby, you talk.”

  Her slickened hands moved over the dip of his lower back, rubbing firm warm skin and muscle, trailing up his spine and down it. She scooted to hover over his knees as she cupped his taut cheeks and squeezed. This was all too much fun and she couldn’t stop herself from spanking one cheek, watching the way it bounced. Oh very nice, she thought wickedly.

  “Careful there,” he growled.

  “Don’t worry, Gavin, I don’t plan to do anything more than massage some muscles.”

  He growled another warning that softened as she began rubbing tight muscles in his ass and around his hips.

  His thighs tensed under her but she got another of those delicious groans out of him.

  Then he just started talking.

  “I’ve got Marcus and his brother, Harry, in custody. Will’s back at his apartment, but I ordered a watch on him. Fuck, on my own baby brother. I feel like traitor.”

  She didn’t pause her massage as she moved between his lower back, hips, and butt. “I suppose that’s natural to feel that way when you have to do something to your own family.”

  “Yeah, and I had to. One of the witnesses said the fight seemed spontaneous. Will works at the butcher shop and as he was outside on break as Marcus was headed in. Marcus says he was there to have a few words with his brother.”

  “Harry, he’s the one who works at the butchers?”

  A grunt of agreement. “Yeah, but Marcus started some shit with Will. Will got smart with him and it broke out into a fight. Luckily, some bystanders stepped in and broke it up. Will’s only nineteen. He could have gotten himself killed.”

  Scooting down further, Alicia moved off to the side of him so she could work on his hamstrings and calves. “What were they fighting about?”

  “I didn’t believe it at first, you know. But Marcus said the same story. Don’t see why the bystander would lie. Will wouldn’t talk to me. He still hates me from taking over the alpha challenge.”

  “He’s young. I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

  “It’s been over three months. Nearly four now. Fuck, that feels good,” he said on a groan.

  Stifling a laugh, she worked over that particular calf muscle until his hands were fisting the comforter. The visual made her thighs tighten with arousal. “But what was the fight actually about?”

  His muscles tensed and she slapped his tush in warning. Laughing softly, he relaxed. She could have cheered just then. No matter what, she’d count tonight as victory. She’d made him laugh.

  “Marcus said something to Will about knowing what he’s been doin’ with you. Typical provocation bullshit from Marcus. The man has it out for us MacKellens.”

  “Been up to what with me? I assure you, I’ve only been around him a few times.”

  “Heck, I know. Will wouldn’t speak to me ’cept to say he was leaving work early and going home and Marcus just gave me that fuckin’ grin.”

  “You make it sound like it’s a specific kind of grin.”

  “Because it is. It’s the kind that makes you wanna punch it off his face.”

  “Ouch,” she said. “So Will and Marcus got into a fight but you still aren’t sure what it’s about except maybe Marcus told Will that he knows what he’s been up to with something regarding me, possibly.”

  “About sums it up, sweetheart. At the very least, we have Harry and Marcus in custody and an extra watch on their youngest brother, David. You should feel safe now. None of them will be able to piss without us knowin’ it.”

  “Thanks for that, but I already feel safe here.”

  His muscles tensed from his neck to his ankles. “You shouldn’t. After everything that’s happened? Two dead kids, a car wreck, the poisoning…it’s not safe for you here,” he said, lost in his thoughts.

  Not liking the grim mood, she worked her way down to his heel, but at the first touch his whole leg jumped. “Not the feet.”

  She grinned and just barely ran the pad of her finger across his foot. “You’re not ticklish are you, Gavin MacKellen?”

  A feral growl reached her ears. “Try it and find out what happens.”

  She bit at her bottom lip as she contemplated how badly he needed a tickling.

  “Baby, you don’t want to do that,” he warned.

  What was it about being told not to do something that just made you want to do it so much more?

  She pointed a finger then slowly moved it toward his foot. His head turned to watch her like a hawk, his back muscles tense and ready to spring. Her pulse leapt and body flushed with excitement.

  “Last warning, sweetheart.”

  Slowly, she lowered her finger and wiggled it around on his foot.

  His leg jumped at her touch and the next thing she knew, he had her yanked up beneath him, his hard body co
vering hers.

  All the jokes and laughter faded away in a heartbeat.

  A solid thump thudded in her chest, beating against his. Their eyes locked as something that could only be described as a ‘moment’ paused time. They were two people wrapped around each other, not in the throes of passion, but in something sweeter and deeper. Something intangible that could not be explained but only felt between them.

  His eyes dipped to her mouth and her pulse skyrocketed.

  That beautiful scarred face, the damaged voice, his kindness and humor, all of it made up this man who looked at her in such a way that said she mattered greatly to him. All of it made up the man she held in her arms and waited breathlessly to kiss her. It left her realizing how far she’d come to feel what she felt now, when he was a stranger not so long ago.

  “I—” he began. The words faltered. His eyes shuttered and the moment started to vanish like sand down an hourglass.

  “You what?”

  Many sentences started with the word ‘I’. But only so many sentences began like that during moments like this one. Alicia desperately wanted to know what the rest of those words were and if they were the life changing ones she ached to hear. Yes, she realized, her heart and mind wanted to hear those words with something close to longing.

  He shook his head, eyes shutting down, further killing the moment. “No, it’s nothing.”

  Desperate, she cupped his cheeks. “Please, tell me.”

  He searched her eyes for long seconds that felt like eons and then smiled wryly, shaking his head. “It’s nothing.”

  A soft kiss to her lips and a moment later he rolled off her.

  That was it. Her disappointment couldn’t be described in words. A mixture of emotions boiled inside her. Arousal and frustration, heartache and yearning, and most of all…something sweet and deep and much more difficult to explain.

  They lay like that, each on one side of the bed, not facing each other. Both looking away like two lost lovers at the end of a dead relationship. Only this was the beginning of one and it shouldn’t be like this. It should be all flowers and roses and happiness, shouldn’t it? They should be laughing and making love right now, not feeling deep longings with a touch of pain.

  Alicia had loved before so she knew firsthand that love could hurt. It could cut deep and leave scars that never healed.

  She faced him, one arm curled under her cheek. “I’m gonna tell you a story.”

  His scarred cheek turned on the pillow to watch her.

  And that’s when she told him her story.

  * * * * *

  “Things ended with Robert six months ago. You might remember when you asked me who I’d been with. Yeah, that was him. It’s your typical relationship story. Things started off great, then when I got to know him better, I didn’t like those changes. He was kind of an…asshole.”

  Gavin watched her carefully, intently absorbing her story as if he cared. Knowing Gavin, he probably did.

  She didn’t like this. She never had been one to talk about herself, but she could see now it was necessary, one roadblock to overcome that explained who she was and how she felt about things. How she felt about him.

  “Of course, I didn’t notice that asshole-ishness at first. It took more than five months to realize that. I did notice his good looks, his charm, his nice clothes, and a dozen other little things I shouldn’t have cared about but did.”

  Gavin looked grim. “What did he do to you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know if it was like that. I’m not perfect and I’m sure I messed up and that drove him nuts. But what I do know is after I ended things, his asshole attitude came into full force. Robert is not someone who likes to be dumped, no matter how kindly it was done. See, we were like the celebrity pack couple. I didn’t want to be, but everyone knew us, said we looked so great together. They all expected us to get mated, have babies and the whole thing.”

  “You didn’t want what with him?”

  She laughed. “It never even crossed my mind, to be honest. We were just dating. That’s how I saw it. I think he saw it that way too.”

  “Why break up with him then?”

  She thought back to the terrible fights that lead to condescension and contempt. The name-calling, the derision at her work. Or ‘hobby’ as he liked to refer to it. “He was always trying to fix me or change me. He didn’t like my job. Or I should say, he didn’t think of what I do as work. That led to lots of fights. It made me feel defensive all the time, maybe when he wasn’t actually attacking me and it just put me on edge. I never felt safe or secure with him. Not like…” her voice trailed off as the thought struck her like a lightning bolt. Never one to shy away, she looked him in the eyes and said, “Not like with you.”

  And what was his response? Only to throw his arm around her waist and pull her in close. Such a good response.

  “Tell me more. I like hearing about you.”

  Laughing she said, “You know you should never give a woman that kind of opening or we’ll be here for hours as I dish all about my best friends and their latest gossip, what color I plan to paint my toenails, what I want to eat for lunch tomorrow…”

  His laughter joined hers. “Okay, keep to the story, sweetheart.”

  “Thanks, I will.” She threaded their fingers together, smiling. “So eventually I got tired of it all and broke up with him. As I said, that’s when things got really bad. See, I got kind of depressed from it and took to working in my apartment. While I did that, he went out with his buddies in the pack and spread some nasty lies about me sleeping around on him. Before I knew it, I was branded a celebrity tramp by the pack.”

  “Give me the word and I’ll take care of him for you.”

  “What?” she asked, startled. “No way. He’s not even worth your time. Besides, he moved away so I got stuck with all the shame and questions about cheating. See, they all thought I was some kind of bad guy who cheated on him. According to him, he found out about it and dumped me and left the pack because he couldn’t stand to be near me. I stopped trying to change people’s minds about me months ago. Not everyone believes his side, or at least if they do, then they’re still nice to me. But the lie is still there, coloring people’s perception of me.”

  “I still think he deserves a good old-fashioned beating. Teach him a lesson and make him tell the pack the truth.”

  A shiver coursed over her. “Screw that; I don’t want to see his face again or—” She froze at where her thoughts were leading her. Or go back to that pack. Holy hell, she was permanently picturing her future here in the MacKellen pack.

  He nudged her. “Or what?”

  Realizing this was her chance to learn what he’d meant before with his unfinished ‘I’ sentence, she rolled on top of him. A flash of heat widened his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. She might be wearing clothes, but she could still feel the powerful strength in his hard, healthy body.

  “Tell me what you were going to say before.”

  His eyes grew guarded. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

  She cocked a brow. “Bullshit, Gavin MacKellen. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Just a little while ago you said, and I quote, “I”. I want you to finish what you were saying.”

  “I think you’re beautiful.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “That wasn’t what you were going to say and you know it. Now you aren’t a liar, Gavin; don’t start on me now.” Straddling his body, she got low in his face.

  He shook his head. “Don’t remember what I was gonna say, beautiful.” His eyes were serious, a frown curled at the corner of his mouth. He really wasn’t going to tell her.

  Why did that break her heart?

  Swallowing hard, she looked him in those pretty eyes and told him, “Well if only one of us is going to be honest, then I’ll be. What I was saying before was that I don’t want to go back, Gavin. I don’t.” Her voice was a whisper as his body stilled. “I don’t want to go back becau
se everything I have is right here, not there.”

  For a long moment all they did was stare at each other. She opened her heart to him and bared it with her eyes, letting them show him what she felt.

  And then something possessive began to glow in his eyes. At the same time, he wrapped her in his arms and turned them over. Her legs spread for him, closing around his hips, entwining. The hard column of his cock stamped his mark on her sex.

  He bit her bottom lip and tugged it on a low growl. “You wanna stay here with me, sweetheart?” His hips pumped in a rhythm he might not even be aware he was doing. It made her thighs clench and her sex ache.

  “Y-yes, I do,” she said, breathlessly. She had only seen a glimpse of this side of him a few times. In the hallway when he ordered her to turn around, in the kitchen when he’d gone between her legs, in the shower, when she’d fisted his cock, and now again as he mounted her.

  One hand ran up her neck and threaded fingers into her hair, fisting and locking her in place. Her heartbeat stuttered like a broken record. This was the alpha, the man in charge and it made her insides melt.

  He canted his head and then his lips slanted over hers, barely touching, just teasing as he grazed her mouth over and again. Wetness, just a touch, came as he licked at the seam of her lips. His fist tugged making her hair pull, firing up pulses that swept straight to her core. Her lips puckered to reach his, aching for them to slam against each other, but he leaned back.

  “You tease,” she said, a shaky whisper.

  Stormy eyes scoured over her face, gauging the arousal that flushed her, dilated her eyes, made her breath tremble. He saw all of it and his hips jerked.

  “Tease?” His head dipped to her ear where he bit the lobe, tugging it before whispering in that warped voice, “Sweetheart, I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t see straight.”

  Chaotic. Her nerves went wild, legs twitching to lock around his, hips pumping against his rock-hard shaft. “Please.”

  He pumped his hips against her cleft as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down her throat and around to the other side, consuming her. “Please? You don’t gotta beg me. I’ll give you anything you need.”