by Mayer, Dale
"They haven’t found it." Cassie’s voice stopped and a weird sound carried through. "The deputy assumed the cell phone burned in the fire. He did say he’d consider the problem. See where Todd's phone might have ended up."
"What are you doing right now?" Jessie watched the traffic go by, not paying attention to anything but Cassie. He wanted to spend more time with her.
"I’m sipping coffee."
"Coffee?" Jessie gagged. The one time he’d tried the stuff he’d choked on it.
"Yeah, don’t you drink it?" She giggled.
Jessie stared down at the phone in his hand, charmed. "Not really. Haven’t had any that was drinkable."
She laughed aloud. "It took me a couple of tries before I liked it."
"Really?" Jessie didn’t believe her, but he liked that she’d say so to make him more comfortable.
"Yeah. Come and try the coffee at the Shake Shop."
Jessie snorted. Several cars drove past, followed by a bus, which stopped beside him. "Doesn’t sound like good a advertisement for coffee." The bus stopped and let someone off. Jessie shook his head at the driver and waved him on. Cassie was still talking.
"I know. Weird, isn’t it? But they make a good brew."
"Maybe I’ll try it again one day."
"Why not today? That’s where I am now. If there’s one thing Todd’s death showed me it's that we take every day for granted instead of making the most of our time. Come and join me. I’m sitting by the window." With that she clicked off.
Jessie stared down at the phone; his pulse jumped for joy. Hell yeah, he’d try another cup of that poison if it meant hanging out with her. He stood up and headed off. In less than ten minutes, he’d be with Cassie. Of their own volition, his feet picked up the pace and raced down the street.
***
Deputy Magnusson read through the file on his desk. That pretty young lady had seemed so adamant. He had daughters of his own, and when they believed something, they were fanatical about it. Cassie Merchant had been passionate. She also looked to be a might stressed. Right or wrong, she’d presented some good arguments. He’d already checked out the boy’s father. Sure enough he had a long history of charges, including domestic violence, traffic violations, along with several DUIs, ending in his running down a sixty-year old woman.
Cassie’s facts were there, and her logic was sound. People growing up in that type of household often went to one extreme or the other. They’d either turn into alcoholics or never touch the stuff. According to Cassie, Todd fell into the latter group.
What Cassie was forgetting was the mentality of an eighteen-year-old, teenage male. Something no one could predict.
The cell phone was worth a second look. The airbag was something he wanted more information on, too. Had it inflated and deflated like it was supposed to? What about other mechanical problems? All in all, that young lady had brought up some valid points.
Where was the vehicle now? It should have been towed to the lot, but he didn’t have that paperwork in front of him.
Why not?
***
Cassie sat in the corner of the Shake Shop and wondered what she’d just done – and why. Jessie had been on her mind all day. Even now her insides quivered at the idea he'd be here in a few minutes.
"Why the hell did you invite my brother here?"
Cassie started, letting out a small shriek. Todd sat across from her in the booth. She spun around to see if the older couple sitting behind them were listening in. "You have to stop doing that!" she hissed.
Todd glared. "What am I supposed to do, sing a song, tap you on the shoulder or something? Cripes, I’m darned happy to be able to even talk with you and you’re nagging at me for the way I do it." He slouched in that way of his, and brooded.
Cassie grinned. Todd had brooding down pat. He’d have made it big in Hollywood.
He glanced at her, caught her grin and frowned. "What are you smirking about?"
Her grin widened to an all out laugh. "You. The look on your face."
Turning to stare out the window, his frown deepened. "What about my brother?" His glare should have seared the glass, and when he turned it on her, Cassie hurt.
"Why are you upset with me?" she countered. "Your brother is helping me to figure out what happened to you. Why would that bother you?"
Todd’s mouth worked but no sounds came out. He slouched further. "I don’t know," he muttered. "Because it’s Jessie. Perfect Jessie who never did anything wrong. Who’d never do something so stupid as get himself killed."
Cassie gasped. "Todd, you aren’t stupid. You know it was an accident. You didn’t do this on purpose."
"So, why do I feel stupid?"
She hated to see him hurting like this. "I don’t know what happened or why. All I can do is try and find out for you."
As she stared him his shape rippled, almost as if waves of red ran through him. She sat back, not a little unnerved.
"Cassie. I’m pissed," he said, his voice rising in crescendo. "As in deep, searing anger."
Feeling conspicuous, Cassie surreptitiously glanced around the room. Did no one else hear him? Apparently not. Todd spoke again.
"Can’t you understand? I don’t want to be dead. I want to be alive. I did not do this to myself. I feel cheated, damn it."
Anger, pain and grief radiated out from Todd. Cassie shuddered. Her own heart hurt for his loss, and her own. His emotions had to be much more magnified. She didn’t know what to say. Everything felt inadequate. "I’m so sorry," she whispered.
He studied her face. Cassie swore she saw a glimmer of moisture in his eyes as he started to fade.
"Wait." She leaned forward. "Your funeral’s on Friday."
The shimmering fade slowed, hitched, then he blinked out altogether.
Cassie lowered her head, blinking back tears.
"Cassie?"
She jerked up. "What?" And saw a face so like Todd’s she'd have been startled if she hadn't expected Jessie. She shifted gears.
"Hi. Grab a seat." She managed a small smile for him. It wasn't hard. After his brother's volatile visit, nice uncomplicated Jessie was perfect – even if he did look too much like his brother.
Jessie slid into the cracked vinyl bench across from her. He gave a searching glance around the empty room. "Nice décor. Not."
The restaurant had that sixties retro thing going on. Cassie loved it. So had Todd.
Bringing his gaze back to her, he said, "I hope I didn’t interrupt something. I heard you talking to someone when I walked in."
Heat rose on her cheeks. Of course he’d have heard her. "No problem. I’m done." Searching for a new topic before she started blabbing on about his brother’s ghost, she nodded to the coffee cup in hand. "Is that coffee?"
"What?" He looked down at his hand. "Oh yeah. I thought I’d try it black. The last one a friend fixed for me and it was loaded with sugar and cream."
Cassie couldn’t help but grin. "Bet it was a girl."
A sheepish grin, so like Todd’s slid out. "Yeah, it was. It was horrible. Like a hot milkshake without the ice cream." He gave a mock shudder.
"Black might be too strong, though," Cassie warned.
"I’ll be fine." He stirred his cup, studying her face. "How are you doing? With Todd’s death?"
Was he serious? "I lost my best friend. I saw Todd almost every day and spoke or texted with him dozens of times in a day. I feel lost. How do you expect me to feel?" Despite her best intentions, Cassie’s voice raised, attracting attention. She groaned and slunk down. "Now look what you made me do."
Jessie just shook his head. "I’m sorry. I just…feel awkward about all this, I guess."
Cassie closed her eyes. "No. It’s not your fault. I’m so touchy these days. Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you." She turned to stare aimlessly out the window. "In truth, sometimes it’s fine and all I do is smile when I think of him. Other times I cry. And sometimes I get mad." She shrugged, still not looking at him. "No ma
tter what anyone thought of him, nobody deserves to die at eighteen. His whole life was ahead of him."
"That’s what my mom keeps saying."
"Speaking of your mom, why didn’t she have more to do with Todd? He hated that. It bugged him constantly that she didn’t love him."
"What?" He leaned forward, lowering his voice. "Of course, she loved him."
"Well, that’s not the way he saw it. As far as he knew, you were the chosen one and he lost out." Cassie stirred her cup, studying his face. His was open, mobile. Todd’s had that cynical world-weary look. They were so much the same and so different. Like all siblings, she supposed. Not that she had any to compare.
Jessie looked absolutely stunned. His mouth opened and closed several times. "Are you serious? Did he say that?"
"Yes. Several times. He was really jealous of you, you know."
"Jealous. Why? He had the freedom to do whatever he wanted. He had Dad, I didn’t. Not sure I wanted to, but I couldn’t help thinking they were doing father and son things I didn’t know about. My mom loves me and I love her, but that’s not the same thing."
Cassie considered the other half of the problem. "Why couldn’t you guys share? I don’t get it. There are two parents and two kids, why couldn’t you spend time with both parents? You both needed a mom and a dad."
Jessie stared around the almost empty restaurant. "Mom and dad fought a lot. Then dad started to really drink and she couldn’t take it anymore. Before we knew it, the situation had become ‘them against us.’ It’s not the way Todd and I wanted it, but we soon found ourselves on opposite sides of the fence. Not enemies exactly, but neither were we friends."
"Sad."
"Yeah, maybe. Especially now that he’s gone and there’s no longer a chance to be anything more." He lifted his cup and took the first sip. And scrunched up his face.
Cassie giggled. "It’s not that bad."
He tried a second sip and this time barely winced. He nodded bravely by the time he finished. "Not bad. I can see it’s growing on me."
"Good. So how do you feel about ghosts?"
He raised his head and looked at her. "What?"
"I asked how you felt about ghosts."
With a half grin, he gave a half shrug. "Not having seen any, it’s hard to know what to say."
"Hmmm." Cassie wondered why Todd was only visible to her. Surely his family or other friends should be able to see him, too.
"Is this an arbitrary question or does it have something to do with my brother’s death?"
Cassie grinned. "It’s arbitrary. Tell me the details of the funeral."
***
Adam Spence hated his life. He hated the booze bottle that sat permanently attached to his hand. And he really hated the popcorn ceiling that hovered over his living room. Remnants of the seventies’ era when life had been simpler, happier. Somewhere, somehow he’d lost his place in the world. Now he was haunted by his actions and lack of actions. He wanted his son back and that couldn’t happen – not any more.
And he wanted his ex-wife to shut up.
She called all the time. What’s with all the questions about Todd’s casket or the code of dress for the funeral and about what flowers to have there? Like he cared. Or that Todd cared.
Then she’d asked him to quit drinking again so he could spend fatherly time with Jessie. Said he was struggling with his brother’s loss and needed him. And time was too short.
The leather couch crackled under his weight as he shifted and reached for the bottle of gin. The whiskey was long gone. He took a heavy gulp as the firewater slid down his raw throat. There shouldn’t be any membranes left to hurt, but somehow there were.
Spend quality time, she’d said. Help Jessie to grow up and be a man. Like who was she talking to? Look what had happened to Todd. Guilt speared through him. He’d been a horrible father.
If she only knew.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Yesterday Cassie had forgotten to ask Jessie to check his dad’s house for Todd’s cell phone. Cassie had called the number several times, but the calls went to voicemail immediately. She didn’t know what that meant. She hadn’t been able to let go of the possibility that Todd might not have had it on him when he’d crashed.
Cassie left for school a little earlier than usual; she appreciated the sunlight and warmth. It felt like days since she’d enjoyed a morning like this. On the way, she texted Jessie, asking him to follow up on possible locations for the missing phone.
As soon as she sent it, guilt poked her. Her coffee with Jessie had shifted something between them – brought them closer together. Todd had always had problems with his brother. Only now that she'd had a chance to connect on a deeper level, he no longer seemed like Todd’s brother – just a terrific guy in his own right.
Even though Jessie was helping her get answers, she felt disloyal to Todd each time she found him attractive. Only Todd wasn’t here and Jessie was. And she'd always had a crush on him.
Penny had called last night, squealing when Cassie told her about the meeting. Then she’d gone quiet, asking if Cassie was trying to replace Todd, and wouldn’t it be better to find someone else? Because Jessie shouldn't be looked at as a stand-in for Todd.
Cassie hadn’t thought about it that way. Why would she? Todd was still here with her, and now she was becoming friends with his brother. A brother she'd wanted to spend a lot of time with before – and hadn't been able to. Sounded good to her.
As she walked the many blocks to school, she considered the couple of hours of research on the after-world that she’d managed to squeeze in between her Math and English homework last night. Her mom had come in, seen the monitor, compressed her lips and had left quickly. Cassie had been afraid that her father would bolt up the stairs to haul her computer away after that.
It wasn’t like she was becoming a Goth or Emo type of person. They had several of those at school. Todd had been friendly with a bunch of them. That had been Todd, an all-around friendly guy. And he’d so liked the girls. And the girls had so liked him.
Cassie wondered what Todd’s future would have been like if he hadn’t died. He’d have graduated in less than two months, and then what? Todd never did answer her question about whether he’d applied to college or not. He’d just laughed and said he had loads of time.
How wrong could one be?
And what did she want to do herself? With Todd’s early end, she couldn’t help wonder about her own future. Become a veterinarian? Go into biological, or even environmental science?
It seemed too far away for her to care and yet, for Todd, the end had come so early – at least the end of one kind of existence.
According to her research, there’ve been thousands of ghost sightings, with the ghosts usually hanging around because of unfinished business. In Todd’s case, she assumed the unanswered questions regarding his death kept him here. And when he found his answers, he’d leave.
Her heart constricted, and for a second she struggled for breath. If just the thought of his leaving hurt her like that, how was she going to handle it when that time actually came? She knew the only reason she was ‘handling’ his death was because to her he wasn’t really gone. But when he truly was…
Determined to throw off that depressing idea, Cassie stopped to admire a beautiful garden where thousands of white flowers cascaded over a stone wall. Stunning. This life had so much beauty, so much to offer; she understood someone wanting to stay after their death. If they had a choice.
Earthbound is the explanation she’d found in her research. Immediately her mind conjured up images of Todd wrapped like a mummy in white bandages and caught on a bush in the forest. So not the image Heartthrob Todd would want to be remembered by.
"Well, well, if it isn’t little Miss Perfect."
Cassie rolled her eyes as four of Todd's friends caught up to her. She sped up slightly. She had only a block to go to meet her friends. The druggies weren’t her friends. They were heavy drinkers and hung aroun
d the back of the school and did drugs during the day, their lives already set on a destructive path.
"What’s the matter, Little Prissy? Too good for us now that Todd’s not here? Or just scared because he’s not here to protect you?"
Protect? Had Todd kept these lowlifes away from her? If he had, she owed him more than she’d known. "I don’t need protection. You guys will just crawl back under your rocks soon anyway. After all, it’s daylight and that's sleepy time for the creepy crawlers."
