“Now about that Ferris wheel ride,” he said.
Heidi shook her head. “I was kidding. I don’t need to ride the Ferris wheel.”
“Who said anything about need?”
“You said you like the Tilt-A-Whirl.”
“I did as a kid. I don’t think it would be as appealing now.”
They stopped and bought churros, because dessert before dinner was important. As they were waiting in a line for drinks, Heidi waved to one of her friends.
“Nevada Hendrix,” she said, then laughed. “I mean, Nevada Janack. From the construction site.”
“Where we went to get Athena.”
She watched him carefully as he spoke, wondering if he would give a hint of his real plans, but he only nodded.
“An impressive project.”
Nevada and Tucker joined them.
“I love when the carnival comes to town,” Nevada said, after they’d greeted each other. “It’s fun. Dakota is taking Hannah on the Ferris wheel for the first time. Finn is trying to juggle a camera and the baby, so we have to get back to help.” She hugged Heidi. “I don’t see you enough. Let’s have lunch this week.”
“I’d love that.”
When they’d all gotten their drinks and Nevada and Tucker had left, Heidi turned to Rafe.
“Dakota, Nevada and Montana are identical triplets. They all fell in love last year and got married over the holidays. Dakota was concerned she couldn’t have children, so she adopted a baby girl. About the same time, she got pregnant, and now they have two kids. Montana is hugely pregnant and due to pop any day now. I guess Nevada will be next.”
She heard the wistful tone in her own voice. She’d always loved children and wanted to have her own. When she was younger, that had been her plan. A husband then kids. After Melinda had killed herself, she’d been less sure about taking a chance on falling in love. Probably because Glen had always told her love was for suckers. As her heart had never seemed that interested in any guy, she hadn’t worried about the problem.
Now, with Rafe, she was more confused than ever. He said he wanted marriage and children, but without falling in love. His list of requirements didn’t sound anything like her. Which meant she wasn’t in the running. Had she finally found “the one,” only to discover she wasn’t “the one” for him?
“I have more respect for carnival rides now that I’ve worked to put them together,” he told her.
A safer topic, she thought. “There’s a science to how the rides are grouped together. One has to take traffic flow into account, along with price and how many people can ride in an hour.”
“Do the prices vary from venue to venue?”
She nodded. “It’s easier to charge the same for everything, but some rides are more popular than others. The popular rides often cost more. But there are other factors. How many people can you get on and off in a certain amount of time.”
She pointed to the Ferris wheel. “There are sixteen cars, each holding two people. With a good crew, you’re talking four hundred riders an hour.”
“That many?”
She nodded, then turned so they were looking at the YoYo. “See those swings?”
“There’s only one rider.”
“But there are thirty-two swings. They can handle nine hundred people an hour.”
“That’s a big difference.”
“Exactly. Most of the rides fall somewhere in between. It’s all about getting people safely on and off. You don’t want the rides so short anyone feels cheated, but you can’t have lines taking forever. The carnival has to make money, and so does the town.”
“Did you work the rides when you were a kid?”
“I did everything. Rides, games, the food carts.”
“Took care of goats?”
She smiled. “I did have my first goat when I was a kid, yes.”
“You don’t miss the life?”
“I miss the people, but I like being settled. Who wouldn’t want to live in Fool’s Gold?” She shrugged. “Except you.”
“It’s not so bad,” he admitted. “I like it better now that I’m not dependent on their kindness to survive.” He hesitated. “Do you know who Raoul Moreno is?”
“Sure. He’s married to Pia. They have twin girls.”
Rafe laughed. “Fair enough, but he was also a great quarterback. That’s football.”
She pushed him with her free hand. “I know what quarterbacks are, and I have more than a passing understanding of the game.”
“I wasn’t sure. What with you being a girl and all.”
“I thought you liked me being a girl.”
He pulled her off the sidewalk and between a couple of buildings. There were still a lot of people around, but it was a touch more private. And nice, she thought, when he lowered his head and kissed her.
“I do like you being a girl,” he murmured, his mouth against hers.
“Me, too.”
She could get lost in him, she thought. But the price would be too high.
“So, about Raoul?”
“Right.” He led them back into the crowd. “He started a camp up in the mountains. For inner-city kids who don’t have much. He has big plans. It’s a great idea and an ambitious program. But there are other kids. Kids in small towns and on farms who need help. What about them?”
“Are you thinking about doing something with them?”
“I don’t know. Kind of. I’ve been fortunate, and being back here has got me thinking. Not every town can take care of its own the way Fool’s Gold took care of my mom and the rest of my family. I hated being poor and people giving me stuff, but without those baskets of food and gifts, we wouldn’t have had anything for the holidays. Mayor Marsha gave me my first bike. Denise Hendrix brought us clothes. The woman had six kids and she’d already taken in a seventh, and she still thought of us. I wonder how many Denise Hendrixes and Mayor Marshas there are in the world.”
“You surprise me.”
“I surprise myself. I haven’t done anything yet. But I’ve spent the past couple of weeks playing with the idea.”
She wished he hadn’t. Of course, she wanted him to help people, but hearing him talk about it made her like him more. She hardly needed help in that department.
“Enough about that,” he said, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m thinking chili dogs. What about you?”
“That sounds perfect.”
* * *
LATE SATURDAY NIGHT, HEIDI was curled up in Rita’s old trailer. She remembered helping her friend re-cover the sofa with the bright floral fabric. Nelson, Rita’s gray-and-white cat, perched on the ottoman, grooming his handsome self.
Rita poured Heidi and herself a brandy, then handed over a glass.
“I remember doing this when you turned twenty-one,” Rita told her. “That was a fun night.”
“Melinda was with us. Her birthday was four months before mine, and she loved to tease me about being able to drink first.”
“Neither of you partied very much. Or got into trouble with boys.”
“We were saints,” Heidi said lightly, sipping the liquid. “Someone should have given us a plaque.”
“You still miss her.” Rita set down her glass. “I don’t need any psychic powers to figure that out. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her.”
“She was my best friend.”
Heidi fought against the sense of betrayal she often felt when she talked about Melinda’s death. If there had been an accident, she was pretty sure she could have come to terms. But Melinda had acted deliberately. More than once. She’d taken her own life, leaving friends and family behind.
“Why weren’t we enough?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. “We all loved her. He wa
s just some guy. He wasn’t worth it.”
“Do any of us have the power to hurt you as much as Rafe does?”
Not a question she wanted to answer. Glen could annoy her and frustrate her. He could make her want to throw something, as when she’d found out about the money he’d taken from May. But, no, he couldn’t hurt her. His love was absolute, and she’d relied on it her whole life. No matter what, they would be there for each other.
“I don’t want to love him,” she admitted.
“You’re not like Melinda.”
Heidi sucked in a breath. Trust her friend to expose her darkest fear. “You can’t know that. What if my heart breaks as much? What if I can’t face the pain? Melinda had just as much to live for.”
“She was never strong. You were the rock in that relationship.”
“I should have gone to college with her. I could have kept those girls from bullying her, or maybe kept it from mattering so much.”
“You know that’s not true. Melinda had a sadness about her even before her heart was broken. You’re not her, and Rafe is nothing like that boy she loved.”
“You never met him. You can’t know that.”
“I know you, and I’ve watched him. He’s a good man. Confused about a few things, reluctant to risk his emotions. But once he does, he’s loyal. Kind.”
Ridiculously good in bed, but why go there.
“He doesn’t want me. He wants a perfect wife. He has a list, and I don’t meet any of his criteria.”
“He’s protecting himself, trying not to get hurt. It’s what everyone does.” Rita sipped her brandy. “Rafe wants what everyone wants. To belong. Don’t let the fear win. Embrace who you are, including your strength.”
“I want to, but I’m scared.”
“True courage is acting in the face of fear.”
“Can’t I just run instead?”
Rita smiled. “That was never your style. You’ll do what must be done, and you’ll survive.”
* * *
RAFE’S MOTHER SPREAD OUT several large sheets of paper on the kitchen table. As she put them in order, Rafe recognized the basic outline of the ranch. The house and surrounding buildings had been sketched in, along with the fence line. Places for her various animals were marked. He ignored the notations that mentioned a camel and two zebras.
“Here’s what we were thinking,” May told him, practically bouncing in her chair. “Winter homes for the carnival workers.”
She paused expectantly, as if waiting for him to be as excited as she was.
“What do you mean?” he asked, thinking of all the houses he’d planned to build. Houses he could sell for a profit to the future casino and hotel workers.
“Trailers can get cold in the winter,” Glen said, absently patting May’s butt.
Rafe immediately stared directly at the paper and did his best to shut down his peripheral vision.
“We’re not thinking anything too large. A couple of bedrooms, living room, kitchen. Bathroom and laundry. What, twelve hundred square feet? If there were plenty of space between them, there would be room for the trailers. It would be like a little town.”
May pointed to several spots on the map. “In the summer, they could be vacation rentals. That would provide income. Imagine how wonderful it would be for families to come to Fool’s Gold for a week and be able to rent a place like that. You could even build a couple of them with a third bedroom.”
“Lucky me.”
“You don’t like the idea?” His mother appeared shocked by the concept.
“It’s interesting.”
Not at all what he’d had in mind. Based on what she’d done, there would still be plenty of unused acres. So maybe he couldn’t put in as many houses as he’d first imagined, but he could still do part of the development.
“Want me to draw up some designs?” he asked.
May nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
Glen stood. “I promised Heidi I’d move her goats. Athena’s looking feisty these days, so it may take a while. I’ll be back.” He kissed May on the cheek, nodded at Rafe and left.
When he was gone, May turned to Rafe. “You hate it.”
“I don’t. I’m surprised. I didn’t think about vacation rentals, but sure. Why not?” Now that she’d thought of it, he doubted his mother would be willing to give up the idea. Better to work with her than against her.
May sagged in her chair. “You think I’m a terrible mother.”
“What?”
Tears filled her eyes. “It’s because I am. Do you know what today is?”
It took him a second to figure that out. “You’re not a terrible mother.”
“I haven’t called her. I should. But I never know what to say. She’s so distant, and I know that’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“She’s my daughter. We should be close. You and I are close.”
“That’s because you won’t let me escape.”
He’d hoped to make her smile, but instead, the tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks.
He stood and circled the table, then pulled May to her feet and hugged her.
“Call her,” he said. “Wish her happy birthday.”
“Shouldn’t I want to talk to Evangeline? Shouldn’t I miss her? No, that’s wrong. I do miss her, but I’m also confused. Does she hate us? You never talk to her, either.”
“If I do, I’ll yell at her.”
His sister was a disappointment. She’d had so much potential. A brilliant dancer, Evangeline had been accepted to Juilliard and had dropped out her second year. Seven years ago, his business had been growing and he’d plowed every penny back into it. The fifty thousand a year in tuition had been a stretch, but he’d been determined she wouldn’t have to worry about money. So he’d paid it all, and had given her a generous allowance, so she could hang out with her friends and buy whatever it was eighteen-year-old girls needed.
She’d walked away from it and had never said a word as to why. He’d only found out when the school had returned his tuition money, telling him Evangeline was no longer a student there.
“She’s all alone,” May whispered. “It’s her birthday and she’s all alone.”
He held his mother while she cried, and didn’t know what to do to fix the problem. If Shane were here, his brother would probably tell him it was all his fault. Maybe it was. Maybe he expected too much from his family. But, dammit all to hell, Evangeline could have gone all the way. However, like Clay, she’d chosen what was easy. She’d walked away from her dreams, and he couldn’t forgive that.
“You should call her,” he repeated. “You’ll feel better, and she probably will, too.”
She drew back and wiped her face. Her eyes were still sad, though, and she sighed. “We have that in common, you and I. We don’t fight for what’s important to us. Our pride is easily bruised, and when someone walks away, we let them.”
He wasn’t comfortable with the assessment. “I don’t do that.”
“You did with Evangeline and with Clay. Maybe your first wife. I don’t know enough about the details to be sure. One day you’re going to have to stand up and fight for what you want. I am, too. First, I just have to figure out what that is.”
She left the kitchen. Rafe stared after her, not sure what she had meant. He knew how to fight. His business was proof of that. He’d started with nothing and was now worth millions.
But in his gut, he understood his mother didn’t mean anything financial. She was talking about risking his heart. Clay had disappointed him, as had Evangeline, and he’d cut both of them out of his life. He’d been disappointed by love and refused to risk his heart again. He wasn’t a man who forgave easily.
He’d always thought that was a strength,
but maybe he’d been wrong.
* * *
HEIDI POINTED TO THE CAVE paintings. Rita held her flashlight high and then burst into laughter.
“They’re wonderful. You did a perfect job. I would be completely fooled.”
Heidi sighed. “Unfortunately, we don’t have to convince you. The experts have already arrived and seen everything. I don’t know how long we can string them along.”
Rita studied her. “You’re not happy about this.”
“I know. I made a mistake. I was having second thoughts, and then I was hurt and mad and said we should do it. It’s like rolling a rock downhill. Once you give it a push, there’s no pulling it back.”
She touched the cool, uneven wall of the cave. “I should have talked to Rafe. I should have tried to work things out. Instead, I’m scamming the whole town. When they find out, they may never forgive me.”
“I think you’re being a little hard on yourself.”
“I was wrong.”
Rita leaned in and kissed Heidi’s forehead. “My sweet girl. You’ve always had character.”
“Not enough, or I would have found another way.”
“Deep breaths. It’s done now, and you simply have to ride out the storm. It might not be as bad as you think.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I usually am. Come on. Show me the rest.”
Heidi led her deeper into the caves. As they turned the corner, they didn’t notice the reporter hovering in the shadows. Nor did they see her hurry out to tell her producer everything she’d just learned.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RAFE STOOD IN THE CENTER of the kitchen, feeling the surge of anger rising through him. He didn’t look at Heidi—couldn’t look at her. Not after what she’d done. He knew he was too close to saying something he shouldn’t. Something they would both regret.
He’d suspected all along, but to have it come out like this… He was furious and couldn’t completely say why.
“I’m sure if Heidi explained…” May began, but his mother sounded doubtful.
Summer Days Page 24
