Falling Slowly (Falling Novella Series Book 1)

by Rickman,Shirl

  “Yep, it means my feelings were a little hurt when they really shouldn’t be. Ya know, butt hurt?” I explain.

  Shaking his head, he responds, quietly laughing at the same time. “Nope. I don’t know.”

  “Oh damn it, it’s just one of many sayings my mama said my whole life. Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s like Southern diarrhea of the mouth. I can’t stop it no matter how much I try,” I apologize. When I look at his face, I realize I should’ve just stopped talking. Did I actually just say diarrhea of the mouth to Drew? He’s still looking at me, so I start talking again. “I’m fine now. No biggie. Feelings all good. I’m totally fine and decided I’m totally happy about all the sex we had last night.”

  There’s that damn lip quirk again.

  Drew slides his hand across the table and takes mine. “I’m totally happy about it, too. Also, I would’ve called, but my phone. As for the Southern diarrhea of the mouth, I like it. It’s cute, even if the sayings are a little weird.”

  I can’t help but laugh. I really like Drew Nallen.

  “Are you still sure about our little arrangement?” he mentions, bringing his coffee to his mouth again for another drink. How is that so attractive?

  Drew is watching me, probably analyzing my every move and expression. His forehead is slightly creased like he’s worried about something.

  “Yes, I’m still fine.” I try to keep my voice neutral.

  He squeezes my hand lightly. “You can be honest with me, Rosie. We’re friends. I care about you.”

  Placing my other hand over his, I imitate him by squeezing his hand.

  “Really, Drew, I’m fine. There was a minute I felt a little sad you weren’t there when I woke up, but I realized that’s part of it. That is our arrangement. That is a casual sex kind of thing. And that is what we have. Staying the whole night is a completely different relationship,” I assure him.

  “I worried about that, and I left because I never stay. I never stay, Rosie. It isn’t you. It’s every time I sleep with someone. I always go home, okay?” He sounds as if he is begging me for forgiveness when honestly, I know the situation, and there’s nothing to forgive.

  “Drew, stop. We’re good,” I reassure him again.

  “We’re good.” His voice sounds a little distant. I don’t like it.

  “Okay, you’re still game to help me, right? Because Abbey is supposed to help set me up for some online dating.” I take our conversation into another direction in hopes he doesn’t get the wrong idea and think I can’t handle this little deal we made.

  Drew has a strange look on his face, one I’ve seen a few times over the last couple of days, but then it quickly transforms into something else more recognizable. The look of the cool, calm, and collected Drew I’m used to seeing.

  “Online dating? Huh? Are you sure about that?” He doesn’t sound like he thinks online dating is the best idea.

  “Yep, is that bad? I don’t know how this works,” I respond, feeling even more worried about the idea than I was before his remark.

  “I guess not,” he says, still sounding unsure. We stare at one another, a strange vibe between us. Then he stands up. “Well, I’m going to get going. Let me know when our first coaching session will be.”

  He leans down, placing another soft kiss to my cheek. I smile, but it’s a little forced. I can’t help feeling a little uneasy about the way Drew is acting.

  “I will,” I tell him, still watching him closely.

  He gives me that smirk again, but this time, it’s a little off. When he turns to leave, I realize we didn’t make a plan for him to get his phone back.

  Abruptly standing, I grab his arm before he can leave. “We didn’t decide what time you’ll come by to get your phone.”

  “No, we didn’t. When will you be home? I only have one more errand to run today,” he tells me, still not really looking me in the eyes.

  “I should be home in an hour,” I tell him. I’m still holding on to his arm, and he still isn’t looking at me.

  “I’ll see you then,” he responds, but he doesn’t move. He waits for me to let his arm go. I hesitate then slowly let him go.

  “Yeah, okay I’ll see you,” I reiterate.

  I’m left watching a retreating Drew and wondering what exactly went wrong. Did we make a mistake? I may be unsure about most things in my life, but I know for sure I always want Drew in it.

  Two hours later, I’m at home putting away the last bit of laundry I was too lazy to put away earlier, and still no Drew.

  Maybe he decided he didn’t need his phone after all. That doesn’t really make sense, though. Of course, he would need his phone. If I really think about it, we didn’t set an exact time. I only said I’d be home in an hour, and he said he would see me.

  As I’m closing the drawer on my dresser, the doorbell rings, startling me from my thoughts.

  It must be Drew, and my body must know it too because I’m suddenly nervous. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but I think it has everything to do with the way he was acting when he left me at the coffee shop earlier.

  I take a deep breath then turn the locks on the door before opening it.

  He’s standing there looking perfectly and beautifully normal. There is something different about his expression than it looked when he walked away. Drew is giving me his usual naturally smoldering look. A look I’m certain he doesn’t even realize he makes; he’s just being Drew.

  “Hey, sorry I’m later than I said I would be. I had to drop something off at my parents’ house. Of course, I got stuck there talking to my mom. It had been a while since I was there last, so I felt bad running in and out,” he apologizes.

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going anywhere, and we didn’t set an exact time,” I assure him. Opening the door wider, I invite him in. “Come in. I’ll get your phone.”

  Heading for the table, I walk over to retrieve his phone. I can hear the door close behind me. I pick up his phone and turn back to face Drew. He’s standing in front of the bookshelf in my living room, looking at the framed photos of my family and me. He picks up a photo taken just last summer when they came here to visit. Drew lets out a small laugh. He doesn’t even have to tell me what he’s laughing at because I laugh every time I look at the photo, too. The sound of his laugh and the thought of the picture brings a warm, burning feeling of happiness into my chest.

  The photo is of me, my parents, and my siblings. Michael is in it too. We’re all standing near the Lighthouse on West Cliff. The breeze was blowing lightly around us. My mom was complaining about the chill in the air, yet it was seventy-two degrees. Michael and I are the only ones wearing short sleeves and shorts while my family practically looked like they were visiting the Arctic. Every time they have visited me over the last three years, my family just can’t seem to get used to the climate change from Texas.

  Drew faces me, lifting the picture in the air, another laugh slipping out before he sets it down on the shelf again.

  I shrug my shoulders and let a giggle slip out, too. “My family just can’t seem to get used to our warm California summers,” I joke. “They were freezing that day.”

  His lips tip up, a soft, happy look on his face as he contemplates my words.

  “You seem to do just fine in our weather here. Do you miss the really hot summers?” Drew comments, making his way over to me and taking his phone when I extend it toward him.

  I look at him, appalled by the statement. “You’re kidding, right?” I ask.

  “No, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to live in a place with all of the seasons,” Drew replies as he walks over and takes a seat on the couch, slipping his flip-flops off before putting his feet up on the coffee table.

  “No, not at all. It gets plenty warm enough here for me. Plus, the beauty that surrounds us here far outweighs the need for almost constant heat. Forget about the cold weather in Texas. I definitely never miss that,” I add as I take a seat next to him, pulling my bare feet up
onto the couch with me. I sigh wistfully. “But the spring and fall, I do miss.”

  “I’ve traveled a lot, but I’ve never lived anywhere but Santa Cruz. I don’t think I could,” he reveals. It seems so personal for some reason, although it’s so simple.

  “I love being from Texas. I love Texas. I always will, but Santa Cruz has been home since the moment I drove into town. I felt it to my core. I miss my family, but living away from here is like missing a part of myself,” I admit to him. Sometimes I feel like it’s a betrayal to my family, but it’s the truth. I was meant to live here; I just haven’t figured out exactly why yet.

  When I look over at Drew, he’s watching me intently. It’s not the first time over the last few days I’ve noticed this look on his face. I’m sure he thinks I’m the strangest individual he knows. I know Michael thought so; he told me many times that my brain just didn’t quite function like the rest of the world. He called it my bubble. Drew must be trying to figure out how my bubble works in the real world.

  The look on his face suddenly changes into something different, and he says, “I don’t think people are always born where they’re supposed to be. Some have to go out and look for their place in life. This must be your place.”

  That simple statement from him brings on an unexpected joyful feeling for me. “Thank you for saying that,” I tell him sincerely.

  His happiness mirrors the joy on mine.

  Without thinking, I crawl to his end of the couch and climb onto his lap. He stiffens at first, but as I look down into his eyes, he relaxes. I just stare at him, and he stares back, unmoving except for the beat of our hearts beneath our chests. Ever so slowly, I lean into him until our lips touch. I run my tongue over his lips. Drew still hasn’t moved, but his eyes are closed now. Normally, I would feel shy. I would think I’m doing something wrong because it seems like he isn’t responding to my touch. I’d be wrong because right now I’m reading his body language and all the signs are there. His heartbeat is strong and fast. I feel the way I’m making Drew feel, and he literally hasn’t moved. His heartbeat is telling me. The way his breathing has changed lets me know he is affected by my touch and his eyes are closed like he’s savoring the moment. I feel confident, which is a surprise to me because I’ve never felt this way in such an intimate position in my life. This excites me, which only makes me want more. More of this feeling. More of Drew. I put my hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer and kissing him deeper. I coax his lips apart until I can explore every inch of his mouth. As soon as our tongues meet, Drew moves for the first time. He wraps his arms around me and attempts to pull me even closer. Soon, he’s lifting me up in his arms and standing. He deepens our kiss as he continues to invade me with his mouth as he makes his way to my room. When he reaches my bed, he lays me down gently, never breaking our kiss. As he hovers over me, we stare unmoving into each other’s eyes. Then, as if he can’t hold back any longer, Drew begins kissing down my neck to the top of my breast. His hands are tugging at the loose pair of cotton shorts I’m wearing, pulling them off along with my panties, tossing them to the floor. He kisses his way back up to my lips, kissing me softly before pulling back and looking into my eyes again. “You still want this? You want what I can offer?” he asks me. I can see the fear on his face at the thought I may say no. He doesn’t realize I have the same fear. “Yes, I know the stakes, Drew,” I answer, my voice full of unfulfilled desire. He straightens up, pulling his shirt over his head. I pull my tank top off at the same time and throw it off the side of the bed. Our eyes never leave each other. I sit up, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling everything over his hips, letting them drop to the floor. I suck in a deep breath at the sight of him. I doubt I’d ever get tired of looking at him. All of a sudden his mouth is back on mine, sucking and urging me to open up for him. Kissing Drew feels amazing. I feel worshiped. He pulls away for a moment, and I moan at his sudden absence. I realize he’s only left me to protect us. There it is again, that feeling of safety. Before I know it, he’s back. Hovering over me, Drew moves his hand down my body, feeling his way as if he’s trying to mark me as his own. Which is a ridiculous thought? I’ll never be only his, nor he only mine. The thought is fleeting because he keeps exploring me. When he reaches down between us, I arch my back involuntarily, filled with the need for more. “Please, Drew…” I beg. It’s like he was waiting for me to ask, because as soon as his name leaves my mouth, he buries himself inside of me. My name is like a cry from his lips. “Rosie.” He freezes only a moment, but it feels like longer and I need him to move. I need him closer even though it isn’t possible. “My God, Rosie. It’s like…it’s like you…” he whispers, but he never finishes what he started to say; he only moves faster, our bodies moving together in unison. He thrusts into me deeper, harder, a quiet whimper leaving my lips with every move. I lift my hips slightly, trying the impossible task of getting closer to him, but the effect is still rewarding as it creates an altogether alluring sensation between our bodies. Our kisses become hungrier, our tempo becoming a frenzy of movements as our moans become more intense. We don’t slow down until we both cry out the other’s name. I keep feeling more, but it isn’t the more I was looking for when I made this deal with Drew. I’ll think about that later though because right now, I’m going to savor in the fact Drew just rolled to his side, pulling me closer and curving his body around me. Neither of us says a word, and soon we both fall asleep feeling good and satisfied. My body, my mind, and my soul feel connected to something good. I just feel so happy. Until I wake up an hour later all alone.

  It’s been a little over a week since the new and improved Rosie Fisher made her entrance into the world and got all adventurous. Over the last week, I’ve adjusted to the idea of having sex and only sex with Drew. We meet for coffee before work, chat, and everything appears normal.

  When I first brought up the fact Abbey came over after work on Monday night and set me up for online dating, Drew seemed to change the subject. When I told him on Wednesday I have my first date set for a few days later, he only said, “So soon?” I just don’t get him. He must really have something against online dating.

  Later that day, when Drew called, it was only to ask me what time my date was and where he needed to meet me. The conversation was short because he immediately said he had to go.

  He hasn’t been to my house since last Saturday, so we’ve had little to no physical contact. It’s felt a little strange, but I guess that’s the way this whole casual friends-with-benefits thing works.

  There’s a knock on my door, interrupting my thoughts.

  When I open the door, Abbey is standing there with her fashion bag, as she calls it, and a few outfits. I told her I had something already picked out, but she said she didn’t trust me.

  “Hey, have you showered yet?” she asks me as she whisks past me into the apartment.

  “I’m not sure why it matters, but yes,” I respond, shaking my head as I watch her walk into my room and throw everything on my bed, and then over to the kitchen where she begins pouring two glasses of wine.

  “It matters because we need time to get you ready,” she chides. “Did you shave your legs?” Abbey takes a big gulp from her wine, handing me a glass as she passes me, walking back into my room.

  “Of course, but again, why does it matter if I shaved or not?” She is so annoying sometimes, but damn if I’m not reminded why I love her when she turns around holding up a deep red dress she brought for me to try on.

  “It will matter when this guy is rubbing his hand up your legs and into your panties,” Abbey states as if I’m a ridiculous person for even asking such a questions.

  “Yeah, that won’t be happening,” I inform her, walking over and taking the red dress from her.

  Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I hold the dress up to me.

  Abbey is suddenly standing behind me, looking over my shoulder, a confused, slightly exasperated look on her face. “Why the hell not? This is what we talked
about!”

  “It won’t be happening because that’s not part of the plan. I’m only going on dates; Drew will coach me along, but the only person I will be sexing it up with is Drew,” I advise her, feeling so sure about this arrangement.

  “You said you slept with Drew, but you never said you were sleeping with Drew. What in the hell is going on?” she demands. I look at Abbey’s reflection in the mirror, and she literally looks appalled by the suggestion I would be only with Drew.

  “What’s going on is this…I’m going to be going on dates until I find someone I like—if I find someone I like. You told me to have casual sex, so I’m doing it. I’m just only doing it with Drew because Drew doesn’t date. He doesn’t commit. So to avoid attachment, we’re only sleeping together. And only with each other. We can date who we want without the intimacy,” I explain.

  “So what happens if you find someone you like, someone you want to sleep with? What happens then?” she asks with a hint of sarcasm.

  “I tell Drew. We stop sleeping together. We go back to being just friends, and we go on about our business. Me with the new guy and Drew with a different girl practically every night like he normally does,” I say, doing a fantastic job of sounding nonchalant even though my stomach turns at the thought.

  “Oh, wow! Silly me. It looks like you have this all worked out perfectly,” Abbey responds.

  If I wanted to analyze her response, I might say she spoke with a lot of cynicism.

  My number one rule with this online dating is I’ll always meet the guy at our chosen destination. He will never pick me up at my house. It also gives me an opportunity to meet with Drew for a little instruction.

  We decided this was the best for our arrangement. I’d print out the details of the guy, give them to Drew, and he’d help me go over some ideas of how I should act, so it’s not a total disaster. Drew also likes the thought he can keep an eye on me during the dates in case they turn out to be whack jobs. I think he’s a bit overprotective.