“I want to be the peanut to his butter and the cherry on his sundae,” Denise is telling Bailey and Aubrey as I take a seat.
“Oh shit, you guys really do belong together, you’re both as cheesy as Kraft. Hey, I crack myself up sometimes!” I can’t quit laughing but when I look around no one else is, so I guess I’ll just shut up now. “I’m going to the bar, does anyone want anything?”
“I want a Cape Cod,” Aubs calls out.
“Nothing for me, thanks,” Denise says shyly.
“I’ll go with you, Lizzie, What do you want, Cash?” Bailey gets up from her seat.
“You naked in bed.” Cash pulls Bailey down on his lap, kissing her. “Just get me a Bud Light, Sweet Cheeks.” He digs in his pocket and pulls out a couple of twenties. “This round is on me, ladies.” Cash stops and looks over at me for a second. “Just let me go, Bay. I want to talk to Lizzie about something anyway.”
“Thanks, Cash, you’re my favorite,” I tell him. On the way to the bar, I can feel Cash on the verge of a lecture.
“So what’s going on between you and Clay?” he asks.
Oh, brother, the third degree, just what I need, but Cash is a close friend. I’m impressed by him because he’s good to Bailey and he treats our grandparents with the utmost respect. He is just a class act if the truth be told. “Nothing, I don’t do relationships, you know that.” I feel like I need to explain more because Clay and Cash are half-brothers, after all. They recently found each other when their father passed away. “He says he isn’t into meaningless sex. I didn’t know any guys existed out there who didn’t like to screw around.”
“You should give him a chance. I mean, really, he can’t be a bad guy because he’s my little bro. Plus, I’ll personally kick his ass for you.” Cash leans against the bar while we wait for our drinks.
“Oh, how sweet! Not! See, that is exactly what I don’t want. I don’t want something to happen and that rips our group apart.” We get our drinks and walk back over to the table.
Denise is gone. She must be in the restroom. So, I take my seat beside Bailey, where the best friend is supposed to sit.
“Tell her I know what I’m talking about, Bay. This thing with her and Clay.” Cash tells Bailey.
“You’re going to send him into Denise’s arms, Lizzie. Is that what you want? Can you sit back and watch as that happens?” Bailey leans close and lowers her voice so only I can hear her. “He needs you, Lizzie and he isn’t anything like Nathanial. He won’t go around fucking everything behind your back while he’s telling you he loves you.”
“Can we just have a good time tonight and not discuss my epic attempt of a failed relationship? I’m smart enough to know when relationships don’t work for me. I’m done with relationships, Bay. They’re fine for you. You’ve had your dad around. He has always been there for you. He might have been traveling a lot, but he was there. Mine didn’t stick around at all. Mom’s dad was a piece of shit, too. The only truly good man alive is Papa.”
“I beg your pardon,” Cash says.
Bailey pats Cash’s shoulder to soothe his wounded ego.
“Lizzie,” she says, “we don’t know the whole story involving your mom and dad or your grandfather. You can’t base your life on what happened to your mom and grandmother. If you live in fear of getting hurt, you’re going to pass up on what could very well be your soul mate. Good relationships take a lot of work, and you were so young and naïve during your ordeal during Bad Fate Nate. You can’t live your life now on what happened in the past.”
“You and your fairy tale ideas of love are fine for you, Bailey, but not for me. I’m different. I don’t think it’s in my cards. Plus, it’s like I’m destined to be single for the rest of my life or so mom tells me every chance she gets.”
Bailey has these pipedreams that I’m going to be swept off my feet like she has been. It can’t be done. It’s just not possible. Nope.
“Girl, you wouldn’t know if it’s in your cards or not because you won’t even play the hand you’ve been dealt. Your mom needs to quit laying her past problems on your shoulders.”
“Can we nip that right there because that’s really the last thing I want to think about?”
“You’re right about that, but just think about playing a hand or two of cards.” Bailey sniggers, “if you’re not too scared?”
Is she trying to use reverse psychology shit on me or is she starting to make sense? I’m going with reverse psychology. I put my elbows on the table and prop my chin on my hands.
Denise comes back to the table and looks at me because she thinks I’m in her seat.
“Denise, what you fail to realize is that Bailey is my best friend. I’m the one who sits by her, sweetie.” I smile at her. “You’re merely an acquaintance whose presence I’m tolerating at the moment.” I crack myself up so much, taunting her like that I let out a snort.
Denise’s cheeks turn crimson, “Oh, you girls are joined at the hip. You can have more than one friend, Lizzie, get a grip.”
Oh no, she didn’t! I should… Let it go, Lizzie, let it go!
Bailey consoles Denise and they have a good laugh.
I ignore the conversations going on around me because I want to really digest what Bailey just said about cards. I need to think of this as a game of poker. I’m dealt a sucky hand, but I don’t want my opponent to know that, so what would I do? I would bluff my ass off. Maybe I should do that with Clay, bluff at a relationship, and then fold if I see it about to go bad? Take the chance, but hold back my heart until I see for myself how he plays his own hand. This could be an exciting game. I might not be able to change my cards, but I can change the way I play the whole game. Could I keep a poker face or would I have a tell? Shit, I always lose a boatload when I play poker. I don’t think I’m willing to play this game. The stakes are too high. True friends are hard to come by and I’m not eager to lose the ones I have over something that doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.
Clay
Kane was much too friendly with Lizzie. I don’t like that one bit. I told him how I felt about her. Why isn’t he staying the fuck away? He needs reminded of the man code.
Even if I can’t have her, I don’t think I’ll be able to tolerate seeing her with one of my best friends. The way they were dancing with each other wasextremely erotic, not some friendly shuffle. The longing in her eyes, like she wanted to eat him up as she danced, I don’t remember ever feeling more jealous of anyone in my life, until that very moment.
I can’t remember the setlist because I can’t get Lizzie off my mind. Why is she consuming my every conscious thought? I’ve played with the devil and gotten burned so many times before. That’s why I’m not into anything casual anymore. I don’t like to talk about that part of my past even though I refuse to think of it as a mistake. I acknowledge it was an emotionally expensive lesson to learn, but I don’t regret it, not one bit
I’m singing every song to Lizzie, I know she notices it, how can she not? I’m catching her looking at me. I decide to do a song that I know isn’t on the playlist tonight, “Your Love” by the Outfield. We did an 80’s night here a few weeks back for a charity event. Some of the songs were great old love ballads, but most irritated us. How did people really listen to that? This is one of those great love ballads. I don’t take my eyes off Lizzie the whole time I’m singing. I want to make damn sure she knows this is for her.
Lizzie has been throwing back shots like they are water. She’s going to be in the same shape as last night. I wonder if she’s getting drunk just for the hell of it or if this is this her way of dealing. Sometimes, I’m amazed at the lengths people will go to get away from their inner demons. They take up one vice or another. They build up walls around themselves. They just don’t realize that when things finally come to a head, they feel even worse. The thing is you have to deal with your issues sooner or later.
“Hey, y’all, we’re going to take a break, but don’t go anywhere because we’ll be ba
ck in a few minutes,” I announce to the crowd then turn to Kane. “Hey man, what are you trying to do to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I give him my “Are you shitting me” look.
“Listen, Clay, Lizzie is the one approaching me. Do you want me to be a rude ass?”
“Yes. Well, no. I don’t know. Just stay away from her, okay?”
Kane shakes his head and sighs.
“Can you do me a solid, Kane?” I ask.
“You know I will.”
“Take Denise for this break and buy her a drink or talk her up or something. Just get her away from me for a while.”
“Sure, man. I can do that, but I’m not into all that bubbly shit. She’s too perky for me. Next time, though, someone else will have to do your shit work.”
We bump fists, hop off stage, and head on over to their table. They see us coming and stop their conversation. That tells me, it could have been about me.
“Denise sweetheart, can I buy you a drink?” Kane asks as he reaches the group.
Denise looks at him awkwardly, “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll have an Appletini.”
“Ah, come with me to the bar, so we can talk.”
Thank you, Kane!
Aubrey gets up from the table and tells us she will be right back.
She and Ryder make a beeline for the office. He better clean up his shit this time. I have no problem with them using the office to get a little ass, but tidy up afterward. I don’t want to be the one having to sterilize the makeshift brothel.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room while the band is on break.” Lizzie slides out of her chair.
I move over and help her with her chair, “I was headed that way myself.”
I can’t help but notice that Cash and Bailey give each other a knowing look.
“Hey, we have a private restroom behind the bar, I’m sure it’s a shorter line.” I give Lizzie a smile.
“Oh, and what will your girlfriend think when she sees us going somewhere secluded? I won’t have to be watching my back the whole time, will I?”
“She’s not my girlfriend. We are co-workers.” I suspect a little green-eyed monster working its way into Lizzie. I can’t say that doesn’t make me feel good. I like it, a lot.
“Does she know that?”
Yep, she is a little-miffed thinking I like Denise. This could work in my favor splendidly. Lizzie merely needs the right kind of pressure to make her succumb to my urges. That sounds kinky, but I like thinking about making her succumb to my urges. I know how I’d like to make her come with some kinky pressure in places.
We reach the private hallway that leads to the bathroom. Lizzie goes to open the bathroom door and I put out a hand to stop her. I turn her to face me and push her into the door, my body pressing against hers. I take her hands and hold them over her head.
“I didn’t want to have to do this, Lizzie, but you gave me no choice. Let me explain to you exactly how this is going to work.” I kiss her like a beggar getting his first meal in days.
She’s kissing me back just as intensely. Twirling her tongue around mine, trying to procure control.
I lean back a tad, I see the heat in her eyes, “You’re not going to see any of the guys in my band. Got it?”
Her lazy smile becomes a tight, straight line.
“What the hell did you just say to me?”
“If I can’t have you, they can’t either.” I cup her through her jean shorts, making her take a sharp breath. I feel a slight tremble in her legs, I like the way this is affecting her.
Her eyes darken to almost a navy color and are full of desire that matches my own feelings. Then, they flash with anger. Man, girls can turn on you in a heartbeat.
She yanks her hands from my grasp and pushes me away. “Did you just have the audacity to tell me who I can’t date? You have some big balls, Clay, I’ll give you that.”
Lizzie gets in my face, looking up fiercely.
“But it will be a cold day in Hell before I let a man tell me what to do. Have you got it?” She pokes her index finger against my chest. “Don’t mess with me, Clay, I will knock that smirk right off of your face!”
She doesn’t know it, but her going all spunk is a huge turn on for me. “What? I’m not smirking.” I slowly lift my hand back up to her cheek and run my thumb across her cheekbone.
She leans into my caress.
“You don’t want me to smile at you anymore, Tink?” I say softly.
“Don’t call me that, ugh!” She pushes my hand away and stomps off like a little kid that didn’t get her way, her hands balled up against her side.
I can’t help but laugh. Clearly, she’s riled by me. She is so jealous of Denise, I'm surprised she’s not neon green, and she’s pissed that I can turn her on with a little kiss. My break is almost over so I stride back to our table. Lizzie isn’t anywhere to be found and neither is Kane. This just chaps my ass. I take the seat by Denise, “Did you run Kane off?” I elbow her in the side, giving her a wink.
“No. When Lizzie came back, she grabbed him by the hand and they took off.”
She has the biggest doe eyes. I swear she looks like Bambi or a puppy.
She smiles flirtatiously. “I wouldn’t mind you grabbing me, anytime you want, Clay.”
“Now, Denise, if you get any sweeter, you’re gonna give me a toothache.”
“Oh, Clay, you stop that.” She bows her head like she’s bashful.
“Girl, you know we can only be friends, right? With you being an employee, it wouldn’t be right for us to date.”
Her face falls, “It’s Lizzie, isn’t it? You like her?” She barely speaks above a whisper now. She brings one hand up to her mouth. She’s not really even looking at me anymore. She’s looking through me with watery eyes.
“Denise, you’re a great girl. It’s not that I like someone else, it’s that this isn’t the right time for us. If we didn’t work together and we met at a different time and place things could have possibly worked. You’re beautiful, sweet, and you care so much about everyone’s feelings.” I can’t stand to see girls cry, or even tears in their eyes. I pull her into my arms and give her a hug, “Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m not worth one single tear, trust me. There is someone out there who will treat you like the queen you are meant to be.”
Denise nods. “Okay, Clay. Thanks for always being so thoughtful and sweet. Don’t sell yourself short, though. You’re the kind of guy dreams are made of, stars are wished on for, and you’re worth a whole box of tissues.”
Lizzie approaches with Kane, and not waiting for them to reach us, I head toward the stage. I still hear their conversation, though. Damn my bat ears. Sometimes, you don’t want to hear everything.
“Are you sure you don’t mind taking me home, Kane?” Lizzie asks.
Her voice is high-pitched like she’s having the time of her life.
“You don’t have to ask me twice because I never mind taking a beautiful woman home.”
Kane sounds all too eager to please.
I take my iPhone out of my pocket and ask Siri, “How can you get away with murder?”
She says, “I don’t know what you mean by ‘How can you get away with murder?’ How about a web search for it?”
She is never any help. I don’t know why I bother asking her things anyway. I shove the completely worthless piece of shit iPhone back in my pocket. I hop onto the stage and face the crowd with my game face. All smiles and winks. Glad to be here. I turn to the crew to start us on the next set and give Kane a death glare. He looks confused, but I know that’s an act. He has to know. What. The. Hell. Ever. Man. It’s on now, MOFU! Realization crosses his face, his eyes roll upward, and he just shakes his head.
Lizzie makes her presence known. She’s not missing any opportunities to dance. But she doesn’t just dance with people. What she does shouldn’t be allowed in public. It should be illegal. What is most disturbing is while she never makes eye contact with me, I can’t
seem to take my eyes off her. She has men buying her drinks and lets them paw her. She downs shot after shot. I want to be the one touching her. I don’t want Kane taking her home. I don’t want him anywhere near her, dammit to hell.
“That’s all for tonight, guys. Have a safe trip home. Live without regrets, and make the most out of every opportunity because you only regret the one you don’t take.” I walk to the back of the stage, and the guys are looking at each other because I cut the show thirty minutes early. As I’m putting away my guitar, I hear them murmuring and shuffling back with their gear, too.
“What’s up with that, Clay? Why did we quit early?” Ryder asks.
“Why does it matter? You get off earlier so Aubs can blow you sooner.”
Kane lets out a declining whistle.
I pick up my case to take it to be locked up.
“What has crawled up your ass and died, man? You never act like this, Clay.” Ryder catches my arm as I walk by.
“Why don’t you ask Kane?” I glare at the mother fucking backstabber. “I asked you to leave her alone.”
“Whatever, dude, you’re out of your fuc—”
I drop my guitar case and lunge at Kane. Before he knows what hits him, I knock him backward. He stumbles and comes up swinging. He gets in a lick, but I land two more before Ryder grabs Kane and Michael takes a hold of me.
“I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but it has to stop right now,” Ryder yells.
We all hear the shuffling of feet. The curtains part and all of our friends pop backstage. The curious faces clue me into how disruptive we must have been.
“What’s all the commotion? We can hear you guys over everything else in the bar,” Cash says.
He has his arm snugly around Bailey’s waist. Lizzie is standing with her hands on her hips, ready for a fight herself.
Love Me ~ Without Regret Page 5
