Answer: her family and her career – and both have let her down recently.
Drama queen.
Archie yanks the door of the studio closed with a bang that echoes round the courtyard and stomps back to the cottage. Criticising him about honouring her parents’ wishes is so unfair. She has spurned every effort he has made at reconciliation. And when it comes to the bit, she’s hardly been honest with him, has she? In the scale of dishonesty, whose deceit has been greater?
The first shock of her disappearance over, he’s sorely tempted to let her stew.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Karen appears at the cottage a couple of hours later. ‘Any joy?’ she asks as soon as she gets out of her car.
‘Nothing. I’ve made a few calls to friends but no-one’s heard from her. I don’t want to start rumours running.’
‘There already are rumours. When an MSP doesn’t turn up for key meetings, questions are asked.’
‘But surely you’ve been able to cover?’
‘To a certain extent, yes. We can tell constituents she’s poorly, make apologies. But the Chief Whip’s a different matter.’
‘The delightful Mr Coop.’
‘Tom, yes. And Mo, of course, is in a terrible panic. It’s almost impossible to stop the staff gossiping – the more you ask them to keep secrets, the more likely they are to get out. And even the most disciplined of Parties has its moles. At least the hospital and police calls haven’t turned anything up.’
‘I didn’t think they would.’
‘You seem calmer, Archie. Do you know something?’
‘No, I don’t. But I’m pretty certain she’s all right.’
‘Well that’s something. Have you talked to Margaret-Anne and Jon?’
‘No. Not yet.’
‘No? Archie, why ever not? Surely—’
‘If they were worried about their mother, they’d have phoned me. I’ve been holding off talking to them because Jonno has a new job and I don’t want to make waves—’ Leave aside all the complications there ‘—and Mannie’s always rushing around, doing deals. I wouldn’t like to distract her.’
‘Okay,’ Karen says doubtfully. ‘Let’s run through everything else, then. There’s nothing among the papers in her briefcase?’
‘Help yourself. You’re more likely to spot anything vital than I am.’ Archie indicates where it sits, next to her desk.
Karen rummages through the contents quickly. ‘Just the usual, so far as I can see. What about her mobile? Not found it?’
‘Nope. Must be in her handbag. That’s definitely not here.’
‘The laptop?’
Archie waves at it. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start. It’s password protected anyway.’
‘Let me have a go. I know some of her passwords.’
‘Help yourself. Tea?’
‘I’d love some. Thanks.’
He brews a pot as she boots up the laptop.
‘I’m in,’ she calls.
‘That was quick.’
He finds a batch of melting nanoseconds in a polythene bag stuffed behind the cookery books on a shelf, an old hiding place. He breaks off a piece of biscuit and tastes it. It’s fresh, so she has baked recently and she couldn’t have baked if she’d been over stressed. Something must have happened since then that has tipped her over the edge. What is it?
He puts the biscuits in a dish and adds them to the tray. ‘Sugar?’
Karen is tapping away at the keyboard. ‘Just milk. Thanks.’
‘Anything?’
‘A load of emails. She obviously didn’t check last night, or this morning. They haven’t been opened since she left the office yesterday.’
‘Any clues?’ He doesn’t say it hopefully.
‘There’s an email from Maitland Forbes.’
A shiver of dread passes through Archie’s heart.
Karen says, ‘I’ll read it.’
He doesn’t want to hear and starts to say so, but she’s already reading it out. ‘Hi Susie darling. As agreed in our conversation earlier this evening, here are the details of the movie. It will be called “Flora MacDonald” (working title only) and I’d love you to play the part of Flora’s mother. As I promised, I’d do my utmost to shoot round your schedules. Regarding the other matter, I will give it my best consideration and will get back to you within the next couple of days. Hugs to you, honey. Maitland.”’ She eyes Archie quizzically. ‘Darling?’
That, at least, he can shrug off. ‘It means nothing. All actors call each other darling. Does that get us anywhere? What was “the other matter”?’
‘No idea. Could have been anything. We should give Maitland Forbes a call.’
‘He’s in California. What’s the time there?’
She does a quick calculation. ‘It’s two o’clock here. It’ll be six in the morning.’
‘Maybe leave it a couple of hours, then.’
‘This is an emergency, Archie.’
‘Not yet,’ he says. Since his earlier panic, an odd calmness has settled on him.
Karen swings round in the chair and thumps her hand on its arm. ‘Archie, the world’s going mad around the disappearance of your wife and you just sit there like the Sphinx and smile. What aren’t you telling me?’
‘Nothing. Honestly, Karen, I promise you, I’m not hiding anything. I don’t know where Susie’s gone, I just know she hasn’t jumped off a cliff. And the world isn’t in freefall, a few politicians in your Party are a bit worried, that’s all.’
‘I don’t think you understa—‘ She halts in mid word, slouches back and smiles wryly. ‘You’re right, Archie. I guess we all get a bit caught up the in Holyrood bubble. For those of us who work there, it’s the only thing that matters.’
Then the seriousness is back.
‘But Susie’s one of those people too, Archie. Her politics matters to her, her constituents matter, her beliefs matter. That’s what makes this so difficult to understand.’
‘I’m not denying that Susie’s in a bad place in her head. I just don’t think she’s in danger. Physical danger, that is.’
‘There’s a vote on Thursday. It could bring down the government.’
‘I don’t care about the government.’
‘Susie cares.’
‘Does she, Karen? Does she really? Or is that part of the problem?’
‘I know she feels trapped between her Party and her constituents.’ She looks at him directly, her cool grey eyes level. ‘But she matters to me, Archie. She’s my best friend and I care about her.’
Silence falls. All Archie can hear is the ticking of Susie’s grandfather clock, measuring out the hours as it has for centuries. Past, present, future – sometimes, Archie thinks, each one is as much a mystery as the other.
‘I know you do,’ he says at last. ‘I care too. Very much, as it happens. I’ll find her, Karen, I promise.’
Karen stands up. ‘Thank you, Archie. There’s nothing more I can do here, just keep an eye on her emails, will you? I’ll leave the laptop on. And call me if you find anything.’
After she has gone, Archie sits and thinks. The days when Susie Wallace trusted him and depended on him are past. He doesn’t doubt that he can find her – but can he reach her? He cares about her more than he can possibly express, but has he lost her again – and this time, for ever?
And finally, the sixty-four thousand dollar question: is he prepared, this time, to fight for her?
Jonathan arrives home around six. Archie tells him everything.
‘Christ. Gone? Gone? Mum?’
He looks so like her, his hair a perfect match in colour, his eyes a replica of her bright toffee and gold, that his heart twists inside him.
‘I suspect that she simply needs some time to herself.’
‘You’re not worried?’
‘I’ve done nothing but think about it all day, Jon, and I honestly believe she’s just taken time off. She did leave a message on my mobile, after all.’
Jo
n isn’t stupid. He knows how bad things have been between them. He says, ‘Do you want to find her, Dad? Or is this just another step in the weird dance you two have been doing?’
He says, honestly, ‘I don’t think she’s playing games.’
‘Bet the Party’s in a tizz.’
‘There’s some huge vote in a couple of days, so yes, tizz is probably a pretty good description. But if I go looking for her it’s got to be for me – for us – not for the Party.’
‘Oh, agreed,’ he says fervently. ‘Have you spoken to Mannie?’
‘Not yet. I didn’t want to disturb you guys at work.’
‘Thanks Dad, appreciated. But you needn’t have worried about disturbing me, I’ve been disturbed ever since Mum told us about Brian Henderson being our uncle.’
‘I can understand that. It’s almost as hard for you as it is for Mannie, isn’t it?’
Jon rubs his hand restlessly through his hair, leaving it sticking up in spiky furrows. ‘I was going to resign, Dad.’
‘Resign? Oh, Jon, don’t! You’ve worked so hard to get this job. You need it. You deserve it. Don’t resign, for God’s sake.’
‘That’s what Alex says.’
‘Alex? Who’s he?’
‘She,’ Jon corrects him. ‘She’s one of the designers at work. She’s brilliant.’
Admiration and affection shine so clearly out of his eyes that Archie’s heart contorts. He’s found someone. Good.
‘Alex says, hang on in there. I told her, Dad, about Mannie, I mean, and Brian. I wasn’t going to, because, well, she’s at work and she knows him, he’s the boss, and it could be difficult. It is difficult, it’s hellish, but I felt I could trust her.’
‘I’m glad there’s someone you can talk to.’
‘More than talk to, Dad. When I told her about Mannie, and about Brian being our uncle, she went and did some research.’
He outlines what Alex has discovered.
Archie says, ‘It sounds horrifyingly plausible. Are you going to talk to Mannie about it?’
‘I suppose so. Can’t say I’m looking forward to that conversation. Anyway, I’m not going to do it tonight, I’ll need to do it face to face.’
‘Okay, but we should call Mannie now in case she can tell us anything about Mum.’ He pats Jonno’s shoulder. ‘I’m really proud of you. You know that.’
‘Thanks Dad. But it’s really down to Alex.’
‘Then I can’t wait to meet Alex. Let’s call Mannie, shall we?’
How quickly Jon has grown up, Archie thinks. Tonight he’s the strongest member of the family. The potential was always there, of course. Throughout the long slump in his fortunes, when unemployment dragged at his son like seaweed round an anchor, he kept going. He refused to get sucked under, he worked in the bar, he fought loss of confidence and depression and battled with the temptation of drinking to ease the darkness. He found himself a job at last.
And now, with Mannie on the end of the phone in floods of tears because she believes she is the cause of her mother’s disappearance, Jon is taking over. He’s calm and in control and he’s reassuring her that it isn’t her fault.
‘I’m just checking – can you think of anything else, anything at all, Mannie, that might give us some clue about where she’s gone?... No? Nothing? …I see – no, don’t come racing over here, there’s nothing you can do from here, we’ve searched everything. Call if you think of anything else.’
Archie smiles wryly at the role reversal. Normally it’s Mannie who’s in charge.
‘Yes of course we’ll call you back, sis. … Okay? … Yup, ’night to you too. Bye.’
Jon turns off the phone and looks at Archie. ‘What now?’
Archie shrugs. ‘Get some sleep, I guess. Go to bed, Jon. She’s okay.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘I just feel it. Don’t panic. We’d have heard if there’d been an accident.’
‘Okay then. ’Night Dad.’
‘Good night.’
He’s alone in the kitchen.
I’ll sleep in our bed tonight, he thinks. I’d like to feel Susie’s presence there with me. I’ll smell her on the sheets and the duvet, and I’ll find hairs, long and golden brown, on the pillows. The closer I get to her, the easier it’s going to be to sense where she is. He pats Prince’s head absently as he mulls over the events of the day. There must be a clue somewhere. She must have left something, inadvertently perhaps, but something.
And then it comes to him.
Where do they keep important things? Tickets, vouchers, notes, reminders?
On the dresser.
He looks up. It’s right in front of him, three steps from where he sits. How can he have been so stupid? He’s there in an instant, pulling the small stack of papers from the shelf where they are stored, where Susie keeps everything that’s current.
He shuffles through the pile, but there are no clues. Nothing.
The Council Tax bill.
The leaflet about recycling.
Invitations from the Lord Provost of Edinburgh, from the University Chancellor, from the Royal Society of Edinburgh.
Tickets for a jazz concert at the Queen’s Hall and for a youth production of ‘The Boyfriend’.
An empty stamp book.
Nothing else.
He stands there, baffled. He’d been so sure.
The dresser is an old thing. It came from his parents’ house, and his mother’s parents’ house before that. Susie liked its sense of history. Besides, as she said at the time, ‘We can’t afford anything else.’ It was imported into the cosy kitchen and there it stayed, accumulating family detritus and memorabilia for almost thirty years because cleaning round the back of furniture is not their strong point.
A triangle of white catches his eye. Something is protruding from a crack in the back panelling. Gingerly, he reaches for it and slides it out. If it had slipped right through it would have fallen to the floor under the dresser and might have lain there for years.
This looks new. He unfolds it. Susie’s writing. A hasty scrawl.
Dear First Minister
I have given this a great deal of thought, and it is with much sadness and regret that I write to you to tender my resignation as an MSP. As you know ...
Archie lets the paper slide from his grasp onto the table. This he didn’t expect. He checks the date. Yesterday. But why is it still here? Is it just a draft? Why didn’t she post it?
Of course – the book of stamps is empty. He remembers using the last one himself, sending away for something trivial, he forgets what now. He meant to replace them but – preoccupied – forgot.
So she wrote it, went to the dresser to get a stamp, found there were none and was distracted by something. Why else would she leave the letter behind? Surely she’d take it with her to post as soon as she could? Instead, she must have stuffed it with some agitation onto the shelf, so that it slid into danger of disappearance.
Because she saw something else on the shelf perhaps? Picked it up before ensuring the letter was safely lodged? What? What could be so interesting that it diverted her attention from something so important?
And then he remembers a gift from the children – the hotel voucher – and he knows, with utter certainty, where she’s gone. But far from feeling relief, his heart sinks. It makes his decision about whether to go and find her much, much harder.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Mannie looks around the room. There are four people present – Jen, Jonno and his new friend Alex, and herself. Her eyes are scratchy with tiredness. She has hardly slept for days. Her mother is still missing and she feels utterly responsible. Work today was a massive challenge, but one she knew she must rise to, or lose her job.
The worst thing is being unable to master her feelings. All her life, Mannie has been in control. Smart, efficient, focused, she gets what she wants. She’s well aware that some people at work think she’s high-handed and arrogant. She doesn’t mind that. These
are the weapons she needs in her armoury in order to succeed, and success is her goal. Her colleagues know that outside of the workplace she’s different, softer. Yet now that she needs her armoury as she has never needed it before, all her shields and protectors seem to have deserted her.
And what is this all about? She looks at the girl – Alex – that Jonno has brought with him. There’s an electricity between those two. He has found someone special.
‘Thank you,’ Jonno starts, ‘for agreeing to this, Mannie. Thanks, Jen, for being here. And Alex,’ he turns to her, a spontaneous smile lighting up his face, ‘for doing the research.’
Mannie is curled up on her favourite deep chair near the window in the living room of her flat. She has kicked off her shoes, but otherwise she’s still dressed for work in a knee-length straight skirt and white silk blouse. She hasn’t been back home for long and she feels haggard. Her hair, usually lustrous, is dull and lank. Her hand clutches a balled-up tissue, which she keeps squeezing convulsively. She can see Jen, bless her, watching her with concern.
‘Myra says sorry,’ Jen says to Jonno, ‘but she and Graham have something important on tonight otherwise she’d have been here.’
‘Thanks, Jen. Mannie,’ he says, turning to her, his expression serious, ‘Alex would like to tell you what she’s been researching. Okay?’
Mannie shrugs listlessly. ‘Okay,’ she said dully, ‘but I can’t imagine how anything’s going to help me.’
Alex says gently, ‘It’s something I discovered after Jonno told me your story.’
Mannie shifts restlessly. How many people has Jonno discussed her with? She’d be angry if she had the energy.
It seems that Alex has guessed at her thoughts, because she says, ‘I hope you don’t mind? I promise you, I haven’t told anyone else, and I never will, not unless you want me to.’
Mannie relents grudgingly. I’m beginning to quite like you.
‘Something about your story rang a bell with me and—’
The sound of a bell ringing comes right on cue.
‘That’s the front door,’ Jen says, puzzled, ‘who could that be? Will I send them away?’
‘See who it is,’ Jonno says, an odd smile on his lips.
Loving Susie: The Heartlands series Page 25
