“Pebble…”
“I’m really not interested in your excuses, Einar, and trying to make me feel sorry for you isn’t going to work either, because I don’t feel sorry for you. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe you an explanation for anything.”
Chapter 25
Pebble spent the next couple of days of sudden unemployment wandering around in a strange state of mind. She almost felt unreal. Summer, hot and wonderful, had finally arrived, and most Danes were busy packing up for the traditional move to the summer cottages which line the thousands of kilometers of Danish coastline. On this particular July the third, Pebble couldn’t bear staring at her silent office telephone a moment longer, so she took herself and her strange state of mind down the two flights of stairs from her apartment to the King’s Garden across the street where sunbathers lined the grass and the dark green benches, enjoying the hottest day of the year so far.
Pebble didn’t want to sit in the sun so she chose an empty bench in the shade under the mighty red beech tree and stared at Rosenborg Castle sheltered behind the iron gates and the surrounding moots.
Pebble was truly surprised that she’d quit her well-paying job without any substantial source of income in the wings. If Nordkyst didn’t come through, she didn’t know what she was going to do in the future. Everything seemed strangely new and different. I don’t know what’s come over me, she thought. Meeting Monica must have really gone to my head. What was I thinking? The woman didn’t promise me anything…Not a thing. Did I think I had her account in the bag or what? And what made me think I could possibly handle such a big account as Nordkyst on my own anyway? Pebble tingled all over at the thought, but she wasn’t upset, rather surprised. So surprised that she was beginning to find it amazingly interesting to watch her own life unfold – almost as if she was someone else sitting far away watching her.
Adam and Jon had just gone off to Hornbæk Beach, north of Copenhagen for the day with their friends. They begged Pebble to go with them (quite unusual for them), but she declined.
“Oh, come on, Mom,” they said, “you’ve got to get out of here sometimes and have some fun, too.” They were worried about her, coming home from vacation the way she did, in a strange mood, after being away only four days, and then working day and night like a mad woman on some crazy project. She was so wrapped up in her own world, she hardly ate or slept – or even spoke to her own kids.
The boys whispered to each other and exchanged glances in the hallway more than once after Pebble’s hasty return from vacationing with Albert. Finally, after powwowing about it, they decided it was time to talk to her about it.
“Mom,” Adam, who was approaching 15 fast, took the lead, “is anything wrong?”
They surprised her, at her desk, deep in thought.
She looked up, startled.
“What do you mean?” She didn’t realize the sun was shining brightly outside. Jon was standing behind his brother, almost a head taller.
“You’ve been acting so…” Adam didn’t know what to say.
“Strange…” Jon finished the sentence for him. “What’s going on, Mom? Are you okay?”
“Oh,” she was touched by their concern. “So much has been going on in my life…I don’t know.” She sighed, not knowing how to explain. “I guess I should have talked to you guys about it. I didn’t mean for you to worry…”
“Well, why don’t you tell us about it now?” Jon said. He was mature now, she could tell.
“Well…” She didn’t quite know how to begin. “It’s hard to explain, but…well I guess I’ve changed a lot lately. You know since I got divorced from your father, I’ve been trying to support us and build up my reputation as a freelancer. You guys know all about that. Everything was going pretty okay until I got involved in that WonderLift campaign. You remember when I got back from Greenland and Peter Cato accused me of telling Einar the launch date and all that…Well after that, Einar offered me a job and I took it because I didn’t think I’d be able to make it anymore as a freelancer because Peter said he’d tell everyone in town I wasn’t trustworthy. It was an awful experience, it really was. But looking back what I think really happened was that I realized that I needed to take a closer look at the things I believe in and at the way I was living my life. It’s hard to explain what I felt and I didn’t really know what it was at the time, but I knew something wasn’t right. And I knew I needed help. That was when I started going to Irene…And going to Irene was like starting this process of taking a closer look at my life in a way I’ve never done before. Looking back, I guess I just felt really lost – like I wasn’t really in control of my life and…well…it was kind of scary.”
“And now…” Adam didn’t want this explanation to go on forever. They had friends waiting for them across the street in the park. It was almost noon and they were going to the beach.
“Well now, even if it might not look that way, I’m feeling better. A whole lot better. Things are rearranging themselves inside me and that’s why I quit my job and decided to start working for myself again. Only this time, I don’t just want to be just a freelance copywriter anymore – what I really want to do is start my own company.”
“You do? Gee, that sounds great.” Jon was impressed. He was slightly sunburned already and stood, tall and handsome, in the doorway to her office, twirling his black sunglasses. “What kind of company are you thinking about starting?”
“Well I’m going to call it Pebble Beach Talk – and I want to start a company that specializes in creating English marketing material for companies in Denmark and Scandinavia who want to make it in the global marketplace. International marketing is my specialty you know, and I found out I’m damn good at it, too. Working for Einar also taught me a thing or two about running a business. So I think I can swing it. Anyway, I hope I can, if I can get off to a good start.”
“I just don’t understand,” Adam chimed in, “when you came home from Croatia you worked like crazy, day and night, until you went back to work. And then you quit your job and now you’re just sitting here doing nothing.”
“I guess it does look kind of strange, but what happened was I made a pitch for this really big account and I thought I was going to get it, only now I’m not so sure. Anyway, that’s why I’m sitting here. I’m waiting for a call from those people. As far as Einar is concerned, I quit working for him for two reasons. First, because I thought I was ready to make it on my own. And second, because I’m absolutely furious at him for not clearing my name in the WonderLift thing. You see, I found out who really told him that confidential information about the launch date and I realized he could have cleared my name from the very beginning, but he never did. It was a bad thing to do. It really was. Completely unethical. I just felt I couldn’t go on working for a guy like that. And besides I also feel that now is the time for me to stand my ground and speak up – and take care of myself. And I figured starting with Einar was just about as good a place to start as any.”
“Why don’t you go to the beach with us?” Pebble could tell Adam was getting a bit impatient with this discussion of business ethics. “Nobody’s going to call you on a day like today anyway. Everyone’s going on vacation, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s nice of you to ask, but I’m still hoping to hear from these people about that presentation I made. And besides, I know you’ve got your friends waiting for you. Look, I really do appreciate it, but go with your friends, okay? I’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I just need to be alone and think…okay?” She hugged Adam first and then she hugged Jon. “We’re going to be okay. You know it’s great having you guys for sons…” But they hardly heard her because they were hightailing it out of the apartment almost before she finished what she was saying. She smiled as she listened to their footsteps as they charged down the stairs.
After they left, she sat staring at her desk a little while longer. Then, deciding that Adam was right –nobody is going to call me on a day like this – she switc
hed on her answering machine, put her mobile phone in her pocket, and wandered over to the park across the street and sat down on the bench in the shade under the mighty red beech tree. She knew she probably should have felt bad, but she didn’t. She knew in the past she would have been sitting there on that bench feeling miserable and confused, but for some reason today she didn’t. For some reason she felt happy, blissfully happy and okay and at peace with herself, life and the world in general. It was strange, but she did. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that that was exactly how she was feeling – blissfully happy. It seemed there was a sparkle in the air – and in the world – and in her. Yes, a sparkle. A newfound sparkle and peace and quiet that had nothing whatsoever to do with success or failure or anything else. It was just there. And it was a most peculiar feeling – because it was quite independent of outside events. The feeling was in her and it was hers. Yes it was; it was really hers – lodged as it was deep inside her. Meaning that this feeling was free and independent of everything else. Meaning it had nothing to do with anything except her. In fact this feeling was her. It was who she was, in truth. It was the suchness and niceness and sweetness of her. Of her very own self. Of Pebble Beach herself. Which is why it sparkled like it did. And it was something that no man, no outside event, no job success or career could possibly ever give her.
So she sighed in contentment and inhaled the suchness and niceness of life – of her life – and of being her – for no special reason whatsoever. And that was when our own dear Pebble Beach knew she had come through. Knew she had somehow managed an important rite of passage. A rite of passage from being a lost little girl to becoming a woman of her own. A real true-blue, true-blooded woman, who might not be perfect and who might not know all the answers, but who now knew with a certainty that she’d never known before that she, Pebble Beach, could and would navigate her own life – all by herself.
Yes that was it.
She could navigate her own life. And not that it would necessarily be smooth sailing – but just that she could do it. She could navigate her life, whatever was up ahead. Which was the real triumph, no matter what else happened. And suddenly it didn’t matter whether she won the Nordkyst account or not, or whether her mother ever understood her or not, or whether she found the man of her dreams or not. She’d be there for her. Now she knew it and felt it – maybe for the first time in her whole life. She’d be there for her. She’d show up for her, whether or not she knew what to do.
And so the sky sparkled and Pebble Beach sparkled. And the red beech sparkled. And this was her day – with all its bittersweet suchness and uncertainty – and she loved every minute of it, sitting on the park bench as she did, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Knowing quite certainly for the very first time in her very own life that she was okay – that she was in fact very very okay.
* * *
When Pebble returned to her apartment later that afternoon, there were two messages on her answering machine. One was from Albert; the other was from Monica Soderland. Monica said, in her clear, earthy voice, “Hi, Pebble, I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Will you please call me at my office right away; I’ll be working late, so call me as soon as you get in – please.”
Pebble listened to Monica twice, to make sure she heard the message right. Then she sat down and punched in the number, trembling slightly. Oh dear God, make her say yes. She saw herself being ushered into the inner circles of power, driving a sky-blue BMW Roadster, the one that was rightfully hers.
“Monica?”
“Yes?”
“This is Pebble Beach.”
“Oh hi, Pebble, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. You really must forgive me. But I wanted Richard Davis to see your stuff before I made my final decision. Richard is over here right now. In fact, he wants to meet you before he goes back to New York.”
Pebble’s heart thumped loudly in her breast.
“The problem is, Pebble, as you know; you’re not an advertising agency.”
Oh no, thought Pebble, here it comes.
“And as you also know,” Monica continued, “we’ve become a very big company. Both Richard and I think your comic-strip concept with the kids and the lifestyle stories is terrific. We feel it’s exactly what we’re looking for. And now that we know you were Peter Cato’s ghostwriter, we understand better how you were able to pick up our story and carry the ball forward so perfectly for us.”
“Ask her,” Pebble heard a man’s voice in the background. Monica laughed. “Pebble, Richard’s sitting right here, and he wants me to ask you something. Do you know a chap at Young & Rubicam in New York, a senior account director named Mel Rossen?”
Now it was Pebble’s turn to laugh. “Sure, Mel’s my uncle.”
Monica must have turned the speaker on because she heard Richard laughing in the background. When Richard stopped, Monica continued. “I don’t know why, Pebble, but Richard seems to think that’s very funny. Anyway, we’ve come up with what we think is a compromise solution and we hope you’ll like it. Let me just sketch our idea for you briefly now, because we’d like you to come out here tomorrow and discuss it with us in detail. Okay? Our proposal is this: we’d like to put you on a three-month retainer. We can discuss the amount tomorrow, if you’re interested. Anyway, we feel that since you’re not an ad agency – and don’t have all the facilities an ad agency has – we’d like you to come out here and work together with me and Richard and our art department and see if you can develop your ideas into a full-blown campaign with the help of our people out here. I know you haven’t met any of them yet, but we have some very talented people out here in Hellerup. I, for my part, am willing to invest in you for a three-month period because I think you’ve got what we’re looking for. I know this is a bit irregular. But to be perfectly honest, I was terribly disappointed with the Republic Group’s presentation and with Peter Cato’s stuff, too. They were both way, way off the mark.”
Pebble’s heart beat so loudly in her breast she was sure Monica could hear it.
“When the three-month period is up,” Monica continued, “and who knows, maybe we won’t need so much time to come to a decision. But Richard thinks it’s important to lock our agreement with you into a specific timeframe, especially because we want to launch our clothes next spring in New York (but we’ll get back to that later). Anyway, when the period we agree upon is over, Richard and I will have to sit down and decide whether or not your stuff is good enough or not. If it is, we’ll give you the account. If it isn’t, I hope you’ll feel that our arrangement was fair enough so that we can part as amicably…”
Pebble listened to every word that Monica said with this big, blissful grin on her face. I’m glad she can’t see my face.
“Well what do you think, Pebble? Are you willing to give it a try?”
“I think it sounds…just great…”
“Good…well why don’t you come out here tomorrow so we can talk?”
“That would be fine.” Pebble tried not to sound too happy.
“What about for lunch. Richard wants to get to know you and to be quite frank, I do too. The weather’s so great right now, why don’t we drive up along the coast somewhere and have a leisurely lunch and discuss it all? Okay?”
“Sounds good to me, Monica…Shall we say twelve thirty?” Pebble didn’t trust her voice to say more, but when she finally put down the phone, she allowed herself the infinite luxury of trembling merrily all over for a moment. Then, still grinning blissfully, she ran out of her tiny office and into the wide open space of her living room and leaped mightily into the air, like the true Princess of the Universe she really was. Then she shouted at the top of her lungs for all the world to hear “WHOOPEE!!!!!…I DID IT!!!!!!”
Epilogue
Richard Davis turns out to be a bright, fairly good-looking, newly divorced New Yorker. Pebble can see why her Uncle Mel likes him so much. Richard has two children of his own in New York who li
ve with their mother on Long Island. He’s very close to his kids. Pebble and Richard (who are about the same age) hit it off immediately, and every time Richard is in Copenhagen (which is more and more frequently) he invites Pebble out to dinner. After several dinner dates, they start seeing each other more seriously. Sometimes they talk about the future, and Richard brings up the idea of Pebble moving back to New York. When Richard mentions this, Pebble decides to tell Richard about her plans to start her own company in Scandinavia –Pebble Beach Talk. Also about this time – and well before Pebble’s three-month agreement with Nordkyst is over – Richard and Pebble go to bed with each other for the first time.
Albert Audibert shows up at the door of Pebble’s apartment one night when she is home all alone. He is very drunk and pounds on her door and hollers at her. She doesn’t make a sound, but watches him through the peephole, horrified. After ranting and raving for almost 25 minutes, he turns away from her door, muttering, “Women are like snakes…” and leaves. Irene, who started losing weight and wearing make-up for the first time in her life, says Pebble is making good progress at understanding her addictive behavior and the compulsive drive behind her fatal attraction to Albert. She also says it’s important that Pebble doesn’t dive into another relationship right away because she’ll just repeat her past behavior if she does.
As far as Pebble can tell, Slim doesn’t change at all.
When Einar calls her one day in late September and asks her out for dinner, she says yes – to her own great surprise.
Peter Cato’s new agency Fem-Ads files for bankruptcy. When Pebble meets him at a party, he walks right by her without saying a word.
Adventures of Pebble Beach Page 26
